Feeling More Alone Then Ever

[Greywolf269]

Why is it, now That I have come out as a bisexual, that I feel more alone then ever? I know that I have the support of the ppl out here to help me, but, it seems that there r no groups or anything in my area to help me. Every group I seem to contact has disbanded. I don't know where to look anymore to meet ppl like me face to face. I am starting to wish I had never come out. Any suggestions?

[ambi53mm]

Hi Greywolf,

I can relate to some of those feelings of loneliness and frustrations that you are going through. Sometimes I feel the same way myself but have no regrets in regard to acknowledging my bisexuality because it was worse when I spent my time avoiding that part of myself. Sometimes it seems like getting all dressed up with no place to go. One ray of hope is that this site grows with new members everyday looking for pretty much the same thing you’re looking for and, sooner or later the odds will more than likely shift to your favor. Sometimes I tend to look at it as a waiting game of sorts, not much different from what I experienced in the past in waiting for my significant other to arrive. When it finally happened, the time I spent waiting was quickly forgotten.
There’s a good article about meeting people, which I’m sure you’ve probably read by now but another venue to explore if you’re looking for the sexual contacts would be several of the “swinger sites”. I’m not sure what things are like in your part of the country but down here they are many. Some of the gay websites have a large bisexual population as well. Many bisexuals frequent those because up until sites like this site came into existence, there was so little out there in the way of bisexual sites. Those sites can be equally frustrating as well but my attitude has always been doing something is better than doing nothing. I wish you the best of luck..just hang in there :)

Ambi

[PeterH]

Hi Greywolf,

Good of you to post a thread here!!!
When I concluded I was bi, I felt pretty lonely too. I think it was partly because I suddenly felt so different from everybody else. But then I made friends here. It all started when I posted a thread, saw that ppl responded to it, were interested in what I had to say. Someone even wrote me a private message to say that she liked my thread. She gradually became a friend. I started to use chat here and made some more friends. I started telling people I was bi. Got some positive responses from friends, who had no problems with it at all. Talked about it with them. One friend told me about a bi foursome (MMFF, all bi) sharing their lives together, who had made it official through all sorts of legal arrangements and contracts. I talked with a gay friend who has a bi friend, I talked with a girl who expressed that she felt attracted to men with soft features. It's not being bi, but it's not typically straight either. So, gradually, I started to feel less different from everybody else. Now, I don't focus on my sexuality as much as I did in the beginning. I haven't talked to anyone in the flesh yet who's bi (as far as I know), but i'm sure I will some time soon. i'm sure you will too. I'm looking for a specifically bi social group and find it a bit hard. But then, two days ago I found out there is one somewhere near me.
Keep looking, Grey wolf. you will find other bi ppl in your area some time soon. I got a reply from Mimi Hoang to my thread on 'My big thank you plus question on coming in'. I think you'd like to read it. One of the things she wrote was that when she came out, made it known she was bi, other bi people started coming to her (happy to meet a kindred spirit).
I hope all of this helps.
I wish you all the best with the rest of your coming out and coming in and hope you will happier soon, and glad and proud that you had the courage to come out. I think it's a very courageous thing to do!!!

Peter

[JohnnyV]

Greywolf,

I live in your area and know that there's a vibrant gay community. Piggy-back on them until you get your feet wet. It's common to go through a high period after coming out, and then to crash when the excitement is over and you realize how hard it will be to find a mate. Don't feel (or stay) alone.

I'd say more but I'm supposed to be writing a book and shouldn't even be on this website right now!!!!! I am confident things will get better, Grey, just keep your spirits up.

Love,
J :eek:

[Lorcan]

Greywolf,

I know how you feel. There is no Bisexual Social group unless you live in places like San Francisco or Toronto. There are Gay social groups and Lesbian social groups everywhere. I guess there won't be a Bi group until someone starts one. And it's apparently hard to start one and keep it going.

The only luck i've found is in the Poly groups. There are a lot of Bisexuals in the Poly groups. And the one close to me is a queer friendly poly group accepting all orientation of all genders. The poly groups focus on honest relationships between more than two people. Maybe there's a queer friendly poly group near you.
:bibounce: