What exactly does it mean to be bisexual?

[bluebay]

If you want to be in a relationship only with the opposite sex but want to have sex with both, is that considered bisexual. Why does there have to be a label. I hear of the liberty among the bi-sexual community but I experience quite the opposite. What ever world you claim to be a part of I find pressure to be one thing or another. Why is it such a crime to want to keep your sex life a secret, especially if you have alot to protect? I call that being responsible. I know that I have a lot of question? Believe me, I haven't listed them all. Help?:confused:

[bluebay]

thanks LetMeHitItFromThBacK:)

[rutemptedalso]

I don't feel like one should sneak around and hide from thier spouse. As far the rest of the family and the cummunity, that should be up to the individule. There are a lot of homophobes out there.

[tenni]

"You should also be out to"

I don't believe that there are many "should"'s when it comes to bisexuals. "To thine own self be true" works for me.

[biguy3113]

To me being bisexual is the attraction to both genders wether it includes a relationship and sex or just sex, whatever. I throughly enjoy both sexes equally but need more than a physical sexual relationship (my girly side coming out). Myself I am married and out to my wife and a few friends that have the capacity to handle it. I do not deny who I am if asked and don;t really care what people think. I am interested in a relationship and sex with a male partner for me and my wife to share if she chooses to do so. Currently just having a problem finding "him" but good things come to those who wait.

[goldenfinger]

You come to the wrong place asking that question. Nobody here can agree what it means. Just do what you fancy, and to hell with the world.Take no notice of post with "closet" in it. It's your life, you have the right to choose what is right for you.:bigrin:

[Annika L]

You come to the wrong place asking that question. Nobody here can agree what it means. Just do what you fancy, and to hell with the world.Take no notice of post with "closet" in it. It's your life, you have the right to choose what is right for you.:bigrin:

I agree that if you're looking for absolute answers, this is the wrong place...but if you need that, then there is no right place. But here's my take on all of it:

You are gay if you are only sexually attracted to people of the same sex as yourself (regardless of who you actually have sex with).
You are straight if you're only sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex (regardless of who you actually have sex with).
You are bisexual if you are sexually attracted to both men and women (regardless of who you actually have sex with).

All three definitions involve only sexual attraction...who you like to hang out with or form friendships with is not an issue of sexuality, even if some of the friendships get intense...if they don't involve *wanting* sex, they don't deal with sexuality.

Now on the question of in vs. out, there really are no "shoulds". The relevant questions are "whose business is your sexuality?" and "whose business is your sexual behavior?" I don't think society in general has a *right* to expect to know about either. I don't believe that your boss or church or friends or extended family have those rights either. If you're inclined to keep your attractions to yourself, I don't think it's your significant other's business to know what sex(es) you find sexually attractive. But if you are going to act on those attractions, then they are affected (at least by disease risk...even if you practice "safe sex"), and the argument that they have a right to know gains some traction (with me, at least).

Beyond those questions of who has a *right* to know...any other disclosures you might choose to make should be to make yourself more comfortable. Consider the emotional toll on yourself of keeping these things secret from whoever...if it means something to you to be able to be open, and the cost isn't too high, go for it.