Can friends become lovers?

[mikey3000]

I think I have a boyfriend. But the problem is that I didn't even realize it till recently.

He is a very good friend. We met on line about a year and a half ago, then met up in May of this year. We've gone out to a bunch of things together, fairs, dinners, movies and such and we've become really close. Even my wife likes him a lot and thinks he is just great. He brings her flowers and she cooks for him. Actually she's the one who noticed that he may be carrying a small torch for me, told me to see what's right in front of me, and to go for it if I like him. Some times I get vibes that he may want more than to just be friends. Last week he came over to my home for dinner and we all spent the day together. My kids really like him too. It's a nice fit, but I never realized it before till now.

Thing is I'm scared to start a physical relationship with him cause I don't want to ruin a good friendship if it doesn't work out. Any suggestions?

[Realist]

Mikey, It CAN work!

You need to know what the expectations are and what the limits are, too. On two different occasions I have had intimate relationships with friends.

Beforehand, we discussed the possibilities and how we felt. We both had some social interests that were not compatible and, although we were friends and sexually attracted, there was nothing else to share.

that one was a lady I'd known for years. We were lovers for about 20 years.

I also had a male lover, who was about the same. Sexually, we were very compatible, but we had few other interests. We rode motorcycles on short tours and spend weekends together, but that was our only connection. That lasted about 10 years.

I did begin another "Platonic" relationship with a married lady, with her husband's OK. However, that turned serious after a while. I didn't feel as serious about her, though, and finally we parted ways.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Just let it unfold easy, Sweetie. All will happend when and if its suppose to; :} Try giving him a little affectionate caress now and then, like a type of shy lover sort of gesture..and see how he responds. It could turn into much more, and since you have your lady's ok, then do it. :}
Have fun, be safe.
Cat

[mikey3000]

I'm just taking it very slow. When we go downtown together, in the crowds he holds on to my arm so we don't get separated. It's very sweet and he's a very gentle, shy guy. I don't want to blow it, especially the friendship. We'll just see what happens. :) We're going to a movie tonight.