Are you Discrete about your sexuality? [Archive]

IsItAllOverMyFace?

Nov 6, 2009, 9:39 PM

How many people here prefer to be discerete about their sexuality?

I'm personally not but if I'm having sex with a married or closeted guy and he wants me to keep his sexuality a secret I will.

I've even been in public stores and encountered closeted men and they hit on me there and we first meet and get together that way. ;)

Or I have had times where I've been going about my day going to a local store or restaurant, and I'll see a man who is married with his wife and I've had sex with the man before and I do not say anything to him or even make eye contact since he wants me to be discrete about him and I am following his wishes.

Sometimes the wife does talk to me or says hello to me, and I don't want to be rude so I say hello back and that REALLY makes the husband nervous! ;) I don't kiss and tell though. :) :kiss: What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I'm DDF/HIV/STI free as I get tested every 3-6 months and I do oral sex which is very very very low risk sex. I once did get with both a husband and a wife seperately and neither one of them know. ;)

Some of the married men I've had sex with don't even see my services as being actual sex at all since I don't fuck them in the ass and they don't fuck me, and some just want to cum bi get sucked off bi me and leave to go home to their wife who they say has lost all interest in sex with them and who has no idea that they are bisexual or gay as I have sex with closeted gay men too as well as closeted bisexuals.

I'm not a professional counselor though. I had one married guy who after sex ALL he would talk about was his wife and how she's lost interest in sex with him and how he's bisexual but he'll never tell her and I basically told him sorry but I'm not your therapist just a buddy to get your rocks off with and have some male2male fun with. ;)

rissababynta

Nov 6, 2009, 10:34 PM

Hmmm, let's see...I don't go bringing it up all the time that I'm into women like some other people that I know, but I have no issues with letting it be known. I have bisexual things on my myspace, on my facebook I have my status as being bisexual, and if anyone asks I have no problem telling them. I don't know if that is what you are meaning by discretion or not, but this is how I am.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Nov 6, 2009, 11:19 PM

Nobody's business but mine and my lover's. And I'm not real big on sneaking around with married men. If I dont know their wife, girlfriend, ect, then I wont play with them. Same thing with another woman. I dont do the lying-cheating thing. :}
Cat

jem_is_bi

Nov 6, 2009, 11:40 PM

I have had a male lover for more than 4 years.
I do not tell others about my sexuality.
I never ask others about their sexual orientation.
I am only interested in the sexuality of another if I have reason to believe that they are gay or bisexual and may be interested in me.
I would be open about my sexual orientation to someone, if it is important that they know.
I will not change my life to avoid detection.

Annika L

Nov 7, 2009, 12:08 AM

Most people learn easily enough that I have a female partner. I don't announce it but I don't hide it either. If anyone asks or if it comes up somehow, I have no problem with admitting that I am attracted to men also. So yes, I would say I am discreet...I don't shout my sexuality from the mountaintops, but neither is it a closely kept secret.

Please note, though, that "discrete" means "separate", whereas "discreet" means "exercising judgment (discretion)". The distinction is meaningful.

innaminka

Nov 7, 2009, 12:35 AM

Do I deny my sexuality? No
Do I broadcast my sexuality - No.
do I play unethical games - No!

Those that need to know have been informed. For everyone else - its my business, but I won't lie.

tg Shannon

Nov 7, 2009, 2:54 AM

I am discrete, extreemly, because most people want it that way, and I oblige, as Long as I get what I want and need I'll stay quiet if they want me too.. and under no circumsatnces would I ever betray a trust,

cliffml

Nov 7, 2009, 9:57 AM

I keep my sexual encounters very discreet. It's only for me and the one i'm with to know.

Android

Nov 7, 2009, 6:27 PM

Not at all, I don't shout about it, but I don't hide anything either. I am open with the fact I have a boyfriend. In fact, most people assume I'm gay, not bi.
I'm lucky in that I live in a town that has a large LGBT population so it's not such a big deal.
Coming out when I was 15 was pretty disastrous and traumatic and I figure it can't get any worse than that, so I feel like I'm ready for various reactions; bring it on.

_Joe_

Nov 7, 2009, 10:25 PM

Married with two kids. Work with Southern Baptist parents.

So far deep in the closet I got another hole you can fuck made by moths!

roy m cox

Nov 8, 2009, 3:17 AM

i am very discrete in public and in my dads home to..

now my boyfriend on the other hand likes showing off in public some times at the mall or in a restaurant he will grab my butt or um my goody's in front of people :/ and if we go in a public rest room he ends up playing with me so much i for get to pee :tong: cuzz most of the time he'll end up drinking it :tong: ,, and one time when we was at a drive in we missed the movie just cuzz he loves having sex with me :bigrin:

but i still try to be very discrete my self ..

still_shy

Nov 8, 2009, 10:32 AM

I am very discrete. I don't feel that it's anyone's business who I sleep with. I never quite understood the "coming out" thing. Of course, I'm married to a wonderful man and I don't necessarily think that coming out would be the best thing in our lives. We live in rural Indiana, in a town surrounded by our family (religious and closeminded) so it would be disastrous for not only my husband and I but also my daughter if people knew about our extracurricular activities. A few of our friends know but that's it. When I'm out in public with a girl I'm dating, I'm not opposed to being affectionate as long as its away from my town. I suppose this isn't exactly doing much to help out the bi community but it's what I have to do to make my life work :)

I think I'd better add something to this post....Although I don't think coming out would be good for my life, I fully understand why other people do it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing altogether....just not for me

cutebutt37

Nov 8, 2009, 11:24 AM

I tell all my close friends and potential partners. If they are happy with my sexuallity, then things proceed.
Nothing worse than not being open and probably being found out at a later date. Actually, most women I have told, have then confided in me that they too are bisexual!!

ErosUrge

Nov 8, 2009, 4:00 PM

For the most part, I am discrete or is that discreet?....anyhow, most of my closest friends know and others. No one in my family knows except for my daugther who is just fine about it. The rest of the family would never understand or accept.
I don't feel it necessary to announce to the world or make bold statements or gestures about my sexuality. After all, it is my own private business.
However, if it was discovered by someone who didn't know before, I wouldn't deny or try to hide it either. Those days are long over. I lived too many years with guilt and in hiding about it all which caused so many emotional/psychological issues. Thank goodness those days and those moments are over.
The most difficult thing about it all though is that since I've chosen to be honest and open about my sexuality, I am not connecting with any woman for a serious relationship. That is troubling. I know there are women who are willing to accept one's sexuality, but so far that has proven to be negative for me. Any suggestions anyone?

tenni

Nov 8, 2009, 5:13 PM

In a word: Yes

I am discreet about my sexuality. I agree with Cat. It is no one's business other than my partner(s) and myself.

I don't know if there is any group benefit for broadcasting a bisexual's sexuality or not. Personally, I see no benefit for me to do so at this time of my life. To each, their own way.

BiPride1

Nov 8, 2009, 6:33 PM

I don't tell anyone about my sexuality unless it comes up in conversation, or I feel that a person should know. Other than that, I am pretty much closeted :(

t_glasgow_

Nov 9, 2009, 6:25 PM

I have to be. I'm engaged to a woman and no-one in the whole world knows about my bisexuality. The fact i'e never been able to utter the words out loud to anyone ever leads me to believe I may never do so but I am totally commited to my fiancee and would never chet on her. As i'm not out, finding gay/bi friends I can talk to about this stuff is exeptionally difficult.

My closeted nature is making me very very unhappy but there is no other way to live my life until someone walks up to me in the street and says 'hi, i'm gay - wanna talk about your bisexual urges'.

A frustrated, bisexual man with no bi/gay friends lives a very sad existence indeed.

nsabimale

Nov 9, 2009, 7:58 PM

yes I am b/c I enjoy the bisexual part and my wife would not understand...

i love the oral sex that I have been provided by a guy friend...it is worth being discreet...

jamiehue

Nov 10, 2009, 9:23 AM

outdoors fresh air closets are too stuffy.

someotherguy

Nov 10, 2009, 1:13 PM

Yes, I am discreet about my sexuality. I won't even admit to being bi anonymously online. Like here, where you might be thinking I already have, I really haven't. I thwart this apparent contradiction using a little something that I like to call being in denial. Try it sometime, and when you do, say you didn't.

I'm not having sex with other people, as I am without other people with whom to have sex. Their fault, not mine. So all of my sexual activity is self abusive, and I don't do that openly in public, out of respect for law enforcement. By respect I mean fear.

When I am with a partner having sex then I am not discreet about it at all. They know what I am doing, and in the event they sleep through it, I tell them at breakfast.

Thanks for asking.

Bi-Zarro

Nov 10, 2009, 2:34 PM

Some friends know, others don't. I'm not keeping it a secret from them, I'm just not shouting it from the rooftops. My parents don't know, nor do I plan to tell them. My girlfriend knows and has no problem with it.

I'm not out at work, but that might yet happen.

Living in NYC makes it all a bit easier than it might otherwise be.

jingi6

Nov 10, 2009, 3:11 PM

Discreet here as well. I generally don't tell anyone I'm bi except for trusted friends and potential sex partners. Living in SF, I could probably stand to be more open, but then I'd have to answer annoying questions all the time about "identity & sexuality". I just want to play with another guy every now and then! :tongue:

quiet1fornow

Nov 10, 2009, 3:21 PM

Yes!:cool:

Bi_Druid

Nov 10, 2009, 3:22 PM

If someone asks I'll tell them, and at prides I may go round with a bi flag or something, but otherwise I don't make an overt point of broadcasting.

I also don't play around with married person's or people in a relationship with someone else who doesn't want that someone else to know, that's just cheating!

*Lou*

Nov 10, 2009, 3:49 PM

My sexuality is my business, like some others, I don't necessarily get the "coming out" idea. If this is not your particular choice, then so be it, good luck to you, and may you prosper. For me, it just doesn't seem necessary to reveal it to the world.

JP1986UM

Nov 10, 2009, 5:09 PM

People that get in your face about something usually turn a lot of people off. I don't broadcast it because of that reason.

If someone asks, then I tell them. I am honest that way.

Otherwise, its none of their business and a lot of people can't handle knowing you have a gay sexuality they can't handle from many POV's. So unless they need to know....I don't tell them.:bipride:

chook

Nov 10, 2009, 5:45 PM

Let's see....Am I discreet about my sexuality?? OF COURSE I FUCKING AM!!!!!!!

Cheers Chook :bigrin:

JP1986UM

Nov 12, 2009, 12:45 AM

I would say most of your responses will be something along the lines of:

I don't want my wife/husband to know because they'll leave me

I know my wife wouldn't accept it and I don't want to get divorced

fear of rejection

fear of losing their family.

Glad I am out!!

DiamondDog

Nov 12, 2009, 2:32 AM

No I'm not discrete or closeted about my sexuality.

Not even about the fact that I'm into BDSM/bondage, various kinks, leather, and other well known and common fetishes that I have.

No I don't give out TMI (too much info) and it's not telling people about my sex life, and most times people will ask me about myself so I do tell them then since I'm not into lying.

I have been out to family and friends for a decade and I'm on sites for gay/bisexual/queer men so it's given that I'm not heterosexual since I'm on there.

While I don't like most social networking sites I am on a few and I'm out on those too.

I have books in my house in plain view about queer male sexuality, BDSM, fetishes, and kinks so there are no secrets there.

I've been out at work to co-workers, managers/bosses, and I'm out to my medical doctor and dentist as well as you really should be.

I've even talked to my medical doctor about STDs, safer sex, BDSM/kink, and it's no big deal at all.

Whoever I'm dating or in a relationship knows about my sexuality too but in my adult life I've mainly dated and had relationships with men.

If I were ever going to casually date or have an F-bud type situation with a woman she'd know all about me, and she would have to be into BDSM/kink and not into vanilla sex at all.

swmnkdinthervr

Nov 12, 2009, 8:25 AM

For the most part my private life is just that, like it was said above it's nobody's business! I won't lie if asked but I won't volunteer the info either...it has to do with the circles my wife and I run in. I/we ride a Harley Davidson, I am in construction and live in a very small town of extremely uptight/nosy/conservative individuals so descretion is the better part of valor!!!

bimanandcuriouslady

Nov 12, 2009, 4:44 PM

We ( my lady and i) are very disccrete. We have friend and family who are very judgemental and we dont want to feel alienated cause of our sexual interests, and were atheists so that doesnt help either. We feel our sexuality is strictly between us and who ever she/he/we decide to share it with and thats only with other closeted bisexuals. Comming out to each other was nerve wracking enough! Luckily we both had bisexual experiences before we met or things would have gone bad after disclosing that kind of info, so we know how it would be for family and friends.

pawned79

Nov 14, 2009, 8:36 AM

I don't state my sexuality in conversation, but I have never been afraid to say that a guy or a girl is attractive. If I get asked the question directly, usually by someone who has become a close friend during an evening of wining and dining, then of course I tell them.

niftyshellshock

Nov 14, 2009, 5:45 PM

upones

Nov 15, 2009, 8:34 AM

very much in closet due to marriage and family plan to staythat way altho wife may suspect as shehas seen me on comp with gay porn:2cents:

tenni

Nov 15, 2009, 11:03 AM

"Someone who understands what I was writing about with the closet and how bisexuals can be closeted or closet cases too, and how it's not biphobia saying this and it is not saying that people who really are bisexual are somehow closeted gays/lesbians or invalidating bisexuality."

GayAZN
Do you see from this thread that "being out" is not an attitude/behaviour that many bisexuals identify with as important to them while "being out" seems to be important to you?

When I read most of the profiles of those who believe that "being out" is important to their identity, I find most stating that they are a 6 or 7 on the Kinsey scale. Most who identify as a 4 do not see "being out" as important or a desired position to be in. Some 4's have stated that if asked they will tell the person that they are bisexual. There has been only one Kinsey 4 who has stated that being out is a desired position to be in. All other Kinsey 4 chose to remain discreet and see their sexuality as a private matter. I checked a previous thread (Coming Out) that touched on this topic and found that most who saw "being out" as important were above 4 on the Kinsey scale.

DiamondDog

Nov 15, 2009, 8:30 PM

When I read most of the profiles of those who believe that "being out" is important to their identity, I find most stating that they are a 6 or 7 on the Kinsey scale. Most who identify as a 4 do not see "being out" as important or a desired position to be in. Some 4's have stated that if asked they will tell the person that they are bisexual. There has been only one Kinsey 4 who has stated that being out is a desired position to be in. All other Kinsey 4 chose to remain discreet and see their sexuality as a private matter. I checked a previous thread (Coming Out) that touched on this topic and found that most who saw "being out" as important were above 4 on the Kinsey scale.

As someone who rates mid range on the scale and to the far right what makes you think there's somehow a correlation between being a certain number on an outdated scale, and being out or not closeted?

You are either in the closet about your sexuality and keep it a secret, or else you're out.

Kinsey numbers or how high or low they are for someone do not mean anything.

Do you really think that people will say, "Oh I'm only a 3 on the Kinsey scale I can't come out at all! Being out just isn't important since I'm a 3!"? Or "Well I'm a 5 so I must come out! It's majorly imporant to me!"

I can't tell you the number of gay men I've met who are closeted and the large number of bisexuals I've met who are out and open about their sexuality.

I've met people who are bisexual and who mostly equal when it comes to sexual attraction to both genders and they're out and bisexual people who are mainly attracted to the same gender for sex and romance and they are closeted.

tenni

Nov 15, 2009, 8:47 PM

DiamondDog

Nov 15, 2009, 9:13 PM

Diamond Dog
You may have met them but they did not post to this thread. Most bisexual men that I met are not interested in being out. There is a co relation on this thread. That is what I'm pointing out. As someone who states that they are a 6 and from what you have posted both in your profile and on a few threads, I'm not surprised by your thoughts.

Dude they're my friends, not random people I "may have" met.

Also what makes you assume I'm only talking about men?

They're not into going on sites like this, or arguing online with close minded people who are random strangers on the internet.

Why are you only going by this thread and who replied to it based on if they filled out a profile on this site? Or how people self identify on an outdated scale?

I hope you realize that there is a world away from the internet, and people outside of this site who are bisexual who do not post here and that no longer post here.

If you have actually read my profile so well, you'd know that in the past I've been up and down the scale on here and I've written about how for me it's pointless.

I really don't care that you're trying to use my profile against me somehow. I can see why some people here don't want to have profiles since others will just use what they write in them against them.

The myth that you're trying to say that most bisexuals (I mean both men and women) are not out is just as bad as ignorant viewpoints such as: "All heterosexuals are happily married and they all reproduce", "Lesbians hate men but try to imitate them and one partner in a dyke couple is the 'man'.", or "Most gay men are highly promiscuious and camp/femme and all excellent at design and fashion!"

tenni

Nov 15, 2009, 9:27 PM

DiamondDog

Nov 16, 2009, 12:16 AM

I have no idea if what I see on this thread or experience in my own life is a myth or not.

Do you believe that by being out that you are better than those who decide to live their life differently than you? I hope not.

I don't care what people do with their own lives.

Fuck the closet. I've been out for years, and I don't plan on going back in. I've seen what being discrete/closeted, or even in denial about your sexuality does and it's not pretty or fun.

I have no desire to try to attempt to "date" or pretend to have a "relationship" or even just have sex with a guy that's completely closeted or who is cheating on whoever his partner is.

The same goes for women such as if they were closeted about enjoying kink/BDSM. There's a difference between enjoying that stuff during sex only and being closeted. I can be friends with someone who is closeted or discrete but while they know about me I do not think that I'm better than them as they can talk to me anytime they want to if they choose to do so.

People who are closeted or in denial are going to argue until they are blue in the face and say that it's best to stay in the closet or be discrete, and how it's such a horrible thing or the end of the world if they come out or ever were out. Nothing you say or do will convince them otherwise and the only people they're hurting are themselves, or if they have a partner/kids it can hurt them too.

The only time someone shouldn't come out would be if they were going to be physically hurt or worse if they did. Thankfully we have LGBT hate crime laws based on gender and sexual orientation and while they are not perfect they are a start.

Just because you're out or not closeted it doesn't mean you have to define everything that you do as a person on your own sexuality whatever that may be. I've never been to a pride parade since I have no desire to do that. Perhaps it is surprising to you or maybe it is not but I do not read magazines written for GLBT people or ones which were or are marketed towards gay men like Out or Advocate.

Even a lot of gay men do not like the "gay world" and do not have much to do with it, or other gay men, even though they are also gay men and have been out for decades or years.

I find it rather coincidental that people who are closeted will constantly very loudly complain about how nobody understands bisexuality, how bisexuals are not visible, or how most people somehow do not understand a queer or non-heterosexual sexuality at all, yet they are not out and do not even try to explain their own sexuality to their monosexual friends and they have no plans on ever coming out at all ever. Or how some closeted people will say that gay men somehow have it so much easier for acceptance than bisexuals do but that's not always true.

Tenni you seem to have these preconceived prescribed and predictable notions of how someone who is bisexual "should" in your opinion act or behave based on what their attractions are, how they've put themselves on the outdated Kinsey scale or how they define their sexuality, or based on what just a few people have wrote on a single internet site.

You really do need to get out and meet more people, and actually experience life more.

goldenfinger

Nov 17, 2009, 3:17 AM

Your ignorance on how it's somehow a good thing to be discrete or closeted just proves and shows how people who are out and not closeted are light years beyond people like you who are still closeted, discrete, and ashamed of their sexuality.

Try meeting bisexuals who are not on this site which according to you is full of closet cases like yourself.

FYI my ex partner is a Kinsey 3 or 50/50 for men and women, and he is out as a bisexual man.

FFS it's 2009! Not 1959. :rolleyes:

GayANZ, why don't you take a trip to Mecca and stand in front of the stone throwing muslims and proclaim your homosexuality and see how many will try not to hit you.

You'r lucky to live in Holland with much more open minded people, but get into your hear, the rest of the world is not like that.
I wish you good luck on your trip to Mecca.:bigrin:

tenni

Nov 17, 2009, 8:08 AM

I think that you have made some very good points DiamondDog. I will reflect on them. I'm not sure that they are points that would make me think more like you or not but I will think about them.

tenni

Nov 17, 2009, 8:14 AM

"who are still closeted, discrete, and ashamed of their sexuality."

It seems to be a political position that you are referring to GayAZN.

You seem to believe that only by being "out" that a person may be comfortable with themself. There may be some truth to your comment for some. Have you considered that your choice of words is an attempt to shame us to "be like you"? "Shame", "closeted" are derogatory words chosen to put negativity on a lifestyle choice. If it is a need to promote your sexuality then so be it. To assume that others are ashamed because they do not act like you is somewhat bigotted. Some of us may feel uncomfortable. Some of us may see no need to promote our sexuality. When I reflect upon the gay people that I know they do not go about proclaiming their sexuality but neither do they deny it. That is exactly what some have posted here.

mikey3000

Nov 17, 2009, 3:33 PM

Your ignorance on how it's somehow a good thing to be discrete or closeted just proves and shows how people who are out and not closeted are light years beyond people like you who are still closeted, discrete, and ashamed of their sexuality.

Try meeting bisexuals who are not on this site which according to you is full of closet cases like yourself.

FYI my ex partner is a Kinsey 3 or 50/50 for men and women, and he is out as a bisexual man.

FFS it's 2009! Not 1959. :rolleyes:

Dude, get off your fucking pedistal already. It is no one else's business how somebody lives their life. And why do you think you have the right to force your agenda on others? Geez. Where's your brain!!! It's none of your business!!! I'm out to who I want to be out to, and that's it. God are you ignorant. If someone's into water sports, should they wear a bottle of piss around their necks too? Dude, grow up already.

mikey3000

Nov 18, 2009, 3:57 PM

Thanks for proving my point about closet cases YET AGAIN!

Stay closeted or go back into the closet by being discrete and see what happens. ;)

You claim to have these guys who are "boyfriends" but they are really fuck buddies and you're telling me how it's nobody else's business what you do with them when everyone even your kids know that you are having sex with them? Or how it's all mainly about sex with them and not a relationship which you reserve for your wife who has cancer who you don't seem to really care about that you've wrote about.

As someone who does enjoy watersports there are ways to easily tell or you can wear things (not bottles of piss around your neck), or just ask people what they are into sexually, ever hear of doing that? :rolleyes:

Dude, now you're not making any sense at all anymore. Honestly. I have no need to go back in the closet, but respect those who do. Nor do I have a need to advertise who I sleep with.

As for the wife, with all we're going through, I'll bet she's still more of a man than you'll ever be. Cause she knows how to respect people and their choices. She doesn't define people by what they do in the bedroom and knows that that is just a small part of who we are as people. I'd love for you to meet her. You could learn a lot about life from her, not just about being gay. That's why she's my hero. The fact that she knows my "fuck buddies" and likes them a lot is an added bonus. As for my kids, well I wouldn't expect you to understand anything about kids, but do they know? Of coures not (looser!). They're children. But we do teach them that it is ok to fall in love with people of the same sex too. Or is that wrong as well? Should I teach them that love and sex should be only between a man and a woman? That's what you mean by being in the closet isn't it?

Jackal

Nov 18, 2009, 7:33 PM

Do I deny my sexuality? No
Do I broadcast my sexuality - No.
do I play unethical games - No!

Those that need to know have been informed. For everyone else - its my business, but I won't lie.

Yea that's about it for me.
If you ask, I will tell you. If it is pertinent to the conversation that I the fact that I like women comes up, I will mention it. It's not hard to figure out but I don't introduce myself as a bisexual. There are more important things about me.

mikey3000

Nov 18, 2009, 7:50 PM

Why not just tell your kids about how you cheated on your wife/their mom who you falsely claim comes #1 in your life, and kept it a big secret for awhile, or how you care more about sex with your fuck buddies than you do your relationship with her?

Or why not tell your kids how you think that it's perfectly fine for a closeted bisexual man to cheat on his straight spouse since you wrote about how bisexual men have special needs?

Sorry mikey I'm not the loser here. I have never once cheated on any of my partners, and I do not condone people to be closeted and cheat like you do.

As for the rest of your drivel and ramblings those are non-sequiurs and have absolutely nothing to do with the topic. You know what being closeted is since you have been (or maybe you still are closeted to some extent in some ways?) in denial or closeted for mostly all of your life. ;)

This is Mrs. Mikey3000, and I want to thank you, GayAZN. I've wondered wondered for a long time on this, but now you just taught me the difference between a gay man and a fag. Thanks.

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 8:16 PM

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 8:17 PM

This is Mrs. Mikey3000, and I want to thank you, GayAZN. I've wondered wondered for a long time on this, but now you just taught me the difference between a gay man and a fag. Thanks.

Although I can understand the frustration...that was still kinda...wow...messed up..

goldenfinger

Nov 18, 2009, 8:26 PM

GAYAZN, when are you going to Mecca, I'll even pay for you if you front the pilgrims and come away alive.:bigrin:

mikey3000

Nov 18, 2009, 8:41 PM

And I'll gladly chip in for a one way ticket, dude.

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 9:18 PM

Your parents are heterosexual and the closet does not apply to them.

So if straight people choose to keep their sex lives to themselves it's ok, but when a bisexual or homosexual does, it's a different story. Ok, now I see...

By the way, for all I know they COULD be bi

meimei

Nov 18, 2009, 9:19 PM

I have never met anyone who wasn't in the closet about something...be it that they cheat on their taxes, cheat on their spouses, take things from work (stealing,) closeted about being abused or being an abuser, alcholics or drug users, etc. The list goes on and on. I have found that those who are so quick to attack others for their "Closet-ness" usually are in the closet about something themselves and often bear the burden of the darkest deepest secrets imaginable. Maybe that is why they are so quick to attack others. A healthy persona does not require complete and total broadcasting of every intricate detail about one's very personal being nor does it require disclosure of every secret they own. Accusers are often the guiltiest of us all. Psycopathic personalities are often the most critical of others and yet the most likely to portray themselves as honest and open. Look at the first head of the FBI (J Edgar.) He was as queer as it got, yet look at the lives he ruined by persecuting gays so fiercely from his position of power. He has been accused of being a crossdressing fag in private, yet a straight arrow in public. Check out the "Saintly- holier than thou" religious leaders, crooked judges, lawyers, politicians, and business men of late who were so quick to condemn others while they led very destructive lives themselves, only to have the light finally shed on them. Perhaps there is a difference in closeted, secretive, private, and downright crooked liar. As long as you don't hurt anyone for your own personal gain like those people do/did, what difference does it make what secrets you hold or whether or not you are closeted?

I eat vegetables. Does that make me a vegan?
I eat meat. Does that make me a caveman?
Is it your business either way as long as it isn't your meat or vegetables I'm eating? (there was a pun in there wasn't there!)

There are some things that I don't know about myself that everyone else knows.
There are some things that I know about myself that no one else knows.
There are some things about myself that everyone knows (including me) and some things that no one knows about me (including me.) Maybe that is the way it is, maybe that is the way it should be? Or not.

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 9:20 PM

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 9:26 PM

Your parents are obviously in some type of relationship and heterosexuality is SO ubiquitous that there is no need for anyone that is hetero to try to hide it so that is why the closet does not apply to heteros at all.

Just look at how most people in society are heterosexual or how a man and a woman can get married or show affection in public and nobody cares or how in TV commercials and most movies and songs written everyone is heterosexual.

This still doesn't change the fact that you seem to think that just because one is bisexual, that means that they need to make their sex life an open book to their children when their are plenty of other people in the world, sexual orientation aside, who do not do this.

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 9:41 PM

Coming out to people is not making your entire sex life an open book.

It's not like when I tell people that I'm a gay man I automatically go into what I am into sexually like what types of men I like, what I enjoy doing sexually, what positions I like, or how I like to do certain things for sex. That is different than coming out and it is making your sex life an open book.

However to be fair if someone does ask such personal questions to me I will answer them.

Kids are not stupid they are going to realize when one of their parent(s) is dating someone or messing around someone else besides the other parent, even if the kid is given the lame old excuse 'oh he/she is just my friend!'.

Again...I still fail to see how parents, no matter the sexual orientation, have to tell their kids about their sex life. Whether a person is having sex with their spouse, a friend, a boy/girlfriend along with their wife or whatever...why do they have to discuss it with their kids?

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 10:16 PM

Oh nevermind.

csrakate

Nov 18, 2009, 10:21 PM

Oh nevermind.

Don't worry, Rissa....I get what you mean. It's called boundaries...and boundaries are something that should be in place when it comes to one's sex life and their kids. Believe me, our kids don't want to know anything about our sex lives either but it's not something that anyone would grasp if they don't know beans about parenting.

mikey3000

Nov 18, 2009, 10:43 PM

Don't ya love people who dispense parenting advice, yet don't have any kids? God bless 'em. Maybe we bi's should all go to show & tell day at school and explain what bisexuals are.:)

goldenfinger

Nov 18, 2009, 10:45 PM

Mecca is a horrible comparrison.

For one thing they would not even let you, mikey, or I in since we are not Muslim.

Thankfully we live in a developed country and not the ass backwards middle east where they'd gladly put to death everyone on this site if they could.
Ah, you just want it all your way. When faced to prove your self, you run for the hills. Stand up for what you believe in and go to MECCA.

rissababynta

Nov 18, 2009, 10:54 PM

Don't ya love people who dispense parenting advice, yet don't have any kids? God bless 'em. Maybe we bi's should all go to show & tell day at school and explain what bisexuals are.:)

LMFAO

rissababynta

Nov 19, 2009, 12:08 AM

Why not explain how you are a total hypocrite and homophobic lying closet case instead?

Ya know, I remember him saying that his wife gave him the go ahead to be with women and men...don't really see how that is cheating...which I don't see how this makes him a hypocrite or a homophobe...which you keep bringing up in ever defensive comment you make...

rissababynta

Nov 19, 2009, 12:13 AM

He wrote about how he originally cheated on her with a man and did so for months. Little ray of Sunshine wrote about this.

Hmm, I don't remember this. I remember him saying that his wife was very supportive of his relationships with men.

Long Duck Dong

Nov 19, 2009, 12:15 AM

I am out.... but I am not vocal about it........ I do not do the parade thing etc....

I can naturally converse about my sexuality and how I interact with people.... but I do not present myself as a bisexual, but as a person with bisexual aspects...and that comes from the fact that I tend to view bisexuality as what you do in the bedroom and I am more than a bedroom dweller

meimei

Nov 19, 2009, 12:38 AM

As I understand it, if someone is gay, but pretends to be straight, they are in the closet. It has been my experience that straight people usually advise them to stay in the closet so they will not be persecuted by society, while gays advise them to come out so they can fit into the gay community and become free. Check out the clergy! I have yet to personally hear a priest admit to being openly gay because to do so would usually contradict their religious beliefs and biblical convictions as well as perceived societal values.

Now, does that mean that someone can also be straight but pretend to be gay simply because they find a place in society where they feel comfortable and they fit in? Could they actually be a closet heterosexual?

Radicals can be found on both sides of this fence. They are usually very loud and aggressive in their demeanor. Sometimes they are publically exposed for the frauds that they are....sometimes not. I feel sure that there can be closet homosexuals as well as closet heterosexuals and they may be very similar in their judgmental behaviors.

I am suspect of anyone who so adamantly judges others based purely upon their own sense of rightousness and tries to force their values on me. Now, this being said, is a closet bi-sexual actually a closet homosexual or a closet heterosexual? And who gives a s _ _ _ ? When a bi-curious person finally experiences same gender sex and realizes that it isn't for them, do they become a disgruntled homosexual or a heterosexual whose curiousity was satisfied? Because, I seem to be hearing a lot of gays saying that if you experience a homosexual act, you automatically become a homosexual and should own up to it whether the experience was satisfactory or not. All I'm saying is that it could be argued both ways. If I ever finally eat someone else's meat and potatoes, whether I like it or not, must I make a public declaration of my bi-sexuality and/or my bi-sexual curiousity? Why should I, and Who says I must do so....and who gives a s _ _ _ anyway?

Long Duck Dong

Nov 19, 2009, 3:01 AM

honestly I have never understand the need to be * out *

other than to attract other like minded people.... what does be out actually do

being out is about having a additional label on your head.... but personally, I do not judge a person according to their sexuality.... so if a person was to say to me they are LGBT, my general reaction is to say * your point ???*

you may be LGBT, but so what.... it is not gonna make me look at you as a different person, give you more respect and social status....etc.....
and thats the way i live to be treated, no different than if I was gay or hetero....cos I am still the same person..... its my attraction that I have defined with the label

pixbasjay

Nov 19, 2009, 3:03 AM

mikey3000

Nov 19, 2009, 11:16 AM

He wrote about how he originally cheated on her with a man and did so for months either while or before she had cancer and how he cares more for his male fuck buddies and doing them than he does for her. :rolleyes:

Little ray of Sunshine, LongDuckDong, and CSRAKate wrote about this to him and so have others here, read mikey's older posts about the subject whenever the subject of cheating comes up and how in his opinion it's somehow OK or excusable for a bisexual man to cheat on his spouse which is bullshit.

As for the homophobia I'll let his own words speak for themselves, even you commented on this earlier tonight.

Dude, if you're gonna quote me, quote ME, not what others say I said. You look for where I said I care for my male friends more than my wife. You look for where I said I condone cheating. I did it, and came clean to her, but never condoned it. I supported a guy who had his reasons for doing it, cause I understand. I supported his rights, but not his act. And I support everyone's right to privacy, if they want to be in the closet or not, if they want to advertise who they sleep with or not, it is their choice. Not yours or anyone elses. You seem to be an educated guy, you should know better than that. Maybe you should look at your self and think why you have this need to out everyone who is not 100% straight. Cause, dude, we're all getting pretty tired of this.

Bi-Zarro

Nov 19, 2009, 2:18 PM

mikey3000

Nov 19, 2009, 3:07 PM

So what are the right circumstances for you?

Caibree

Nov 19, 2009, 4:42 PM

I'm proud to be bisexual but I don't let it define who I am.

I've told my friends, family and previous boyfriend that I am bisexual and that's about it.

If someone is interested in me and wants to know, I'll tell them but I don't go shouting it on roof tops though. XD

Bi-Zarro

Nov 19, 2009, 5:55 PM

So what are the right circumstances for you?

When there's an LGBT student group on campus and they need a faculty advisor, or there's an LGBT faculty group. Right now, there's neither, and not being either a student or a tenured professor, I'm not in a position to start either.

rissababynta

Nov 19, 2009, 6:07 PM

For once I find myself more in agreement with GayAZN than with those he's arguing with.

I think it's important for bisexuals to be as "out" as we possibly can be, if only for the reason that there's a widespread myth that bisexuality doesn't exist. (Well, maybe it's been accepted that female bisexuality exists, but male bisexuality is almost never acknowledged.) Being "out" doesn't mean we're telling the world about out particular sexual practices -- it just means we're not pretending to be straight.

I live with my girlfriend. Everyone who meets me and finds out that I have a girlfriend assumes I'm straight. So I have "straight cover." But I don't WANT "straight cover." I'm disgusted by the whole idea that I have this sort of privilege that gays and lesbians don't have. So if only to show solidarity with those who lack "straight privilege" I feel an obligation to be out. I admit that I'm not as out as I could be, but given the right circumstances I expect this will change.

That is great! But the thing is, that is what is right for you and what makes you feel comfortable and happy. Not everyone has the same feelings as you or they just don't live in a situation where it would be a good decision for them to be as open. Yes, obviously if everyone in the world was out, things would be nice. But you don't put others down or make them feel bad about themselves if they choose, for whatever their personal reason, to not be so open and honest at that time right?

tenni

Nov 19, 2009, 6:16 PM

So if only to show solidarity with those who lack "straight privilege" I feel an obligation to be out. I admit that I'm not as out as I could be, but given the right circumstances I expect this will change.

Bi-Zarro
I think that you have posted in the first person as to why you personally wish to be more "out" and it seems to be supportive and a political reason. You are not telling others to do this and I think that is appropriate.

On a personal note, I have had an opportunity to step forward similar to your student group. In my situation, there was a GLBT curatorial screening that had been part of a grant dealing with video art. No one was stepping forward to do this curatorial project as the person assigned had withdrawn. I stepped forward and said that it needed to be done to validate the grant. I also set up a partnership with the GLBT pride week and they also held a meeting at the organization that I was working for. I also managed to get press coverage all while dealing with harassment and interference. I experienced what I consider quit a bit harassment from a person within the organization and it became a very stressful situation as I worked around the roadblocks that she set up. She had been very supportive of me before I offered to do this project. I filed a grievance as she had broken my contract. She had power and lied /dismissed my grievance without even being interviewed by the Board. I considered filing a human rights tribunal claim but decided that this person would just continue to lie and deceive. It would have extended my stress. I had become physically ill a few weeks after the screening due to the stress. (a strange bacterial infection often that appears while under stress..100 day cough ..lol) My witnesses promised to go to the tribunal but I knew that they would probably back away from actually speaking in person. At no point, did anyone ask me if I was gay or bisexual and ask if that was why I was doing the project. Maybe, people may believe that I am or maybe it isn't important to those in my arts community.

Bi-Zarro would you also make a public statement or let your actions speak for what you believe deserves support?

veryniceguy

Nov 19, 2009, 8:08 PM

yes and I am terrified of other people knowing. The flip side of that is how much I want to be in a bi relationship with a couple.

elian

Nov 19, 2009, 9:01 PM

My orientation is like the last "big secret" I have - I have some friends and family that know..ones I knew i could trust. I am definitely not out to co workers or family - I just love my job and my family too much.

Still, every once in a while I still go to a protest and so forth, but I tend to shy away from the camera if there is a news crew on scene.

If anyone asked me a direct question about it I would answer, but most people don't seem to do that.

MissLadybug

Nov 19, 2009, 10:21 PM

Not at all.

I am proud to be who I am.

I don't let it define who I am or my life, though.

My family and friends all know and support me.

BiPasadenaCpl

Nov 19, 2009, 10:40 PM

We are very discrete about our sexuality due to the nature of our jobs, and we are also very discrete with respect to others we have met and enjoyed sexual pleasure with over the last few years.

Bi-Zarro

Nov 19, 2009, 10:56 PM

Bi-Zarro would you also make a public statement or let your actions speak for what you believe deserves support?

If asked if I was bisexual I would say "yes."

ready5858

Nov 20, 2009, 12:17 PM

No I do not broadcast it. That is way they call it discrete. Most of my friends and family would not understand, its my business and that of my partner ONLY. I have told other gay women and a couple of s8 women who I have had sex with, and they actually set me up with or tried to, with other bi/gay guys.

JP1986UM

Nov 20, 2009, 2:29 PM

You still seem closeted and discrete.

Even your profile says this: Male is average build to athletic, coaches football (so discretion nec.), and not out to kids.

You may be out to your wife but you are not totally out and even your kids probably know something is up or that you are not straight.

As for me I'm out and I have been for years, and I live in a country where nobody cares if you are GLBT and you can't get fired from your job either.

So because I don't fly a fucking rainbow banner over my house means I am not out?

You can't be serious?

There are many forms of being out, just because I don't parade my self in drag in front of other coaches (sports are the last bastion of ingrained homophobia), doesn't mean I am not out. I said, and I reiterate, I am out, but I don't walk about telling everyone I meet I am bisexual.

I do have a wife who I have to consider, unlike your single ass who has no one to consider when dealing with your own life. My honesty with her means I have to accommodate her wishes as well, that means not flying a flag over the gd'd house because I have a SSA, not foisting information on people unless she feels comfortable with it, and kids can get treated terribly when others find out Dad likes other guys as well as Mom.

GO fuck yourself.

mikey3000

Nov 20, 2009, 3:25 PM

Long Duck Dong

Nov 20, 2009, 6:57 PM

What I've learned from the short time being on this board is that not everyone can be out for their own personal reasons, and that's cool. What isn't cool is when people try to demean them because of their choices. And I think that's pretty pathetic.

exactly, I fully agree...... I was just reading JP1986UM's reply to GAYAZN...and thats a clear example..... a soccer coach.... a lot of parents would shit bricks if they thought that a gay / bi man was teaching their kids soccer......

strangely enuf.... I struggle to see any issue with a gay / bi man teaching soccer....... but some parents will see the words gay / bi....and somehow misread it as perv / predator.....

so it begs the question, what is the advantage of being out of the closet, if it could cost JP1986UM their coachs role, and cost a community the services of a coach that may be the best dammed coach in the state

as for gayazn..... I live in NZ, we have anti discrimination laws, and civil union..... and we still have anti LGBT sentiment.... if JP1986UM was coaching over here... the likelihood that they would still have to be closeted cos of the sports is high.......

personally I am beginning to wonder if gayazn can not see anything beyond the end of his dick..... cos i can see a huge difference between a single gay man in holland ( or wherever they are ) and a bi married soccer coach in the us

meimei

Nov 20, 2009, 7:07 PM

I find this interesting - If a gay male is openly gay, yet has never had sex with a woman, how does he know for sure that he is truly gay? Seems there is very limited basis for this choice (50/50). Having the limited ability to desire only one gender sexually is often based on some other influence, such as religious teaching, parental teachings, or even deeper darker secrets such as some form of trauma. So, I have my doubts when a gay zealot friend tells me he is gay simply because he "knows it" just as I am equally skeptical when my zealot heterosexual friend tells me the same thing about himself.

If the same gay friend has had sex with a female at some point, then it seems to reason that he is in reality, a "Bi-sexual." I'm OK with that. But, doesn't that make him a true "bi-sexual" who has simply made a decision to live as a gay man based upon real life experiences. I am OK with that too.

I see little difference between proclaimed heterosexuals who bash gays for their choices and a gay who bashes bi-sexuals for their choices, whatever it be.

It appears to me that being socially "closeted or out" is a political matter more than a sexual choice, and sex (for me) is always best when I keep politics out of it. Just one less thing to have to worry about.

Being a closet bi-sexual is no worse nor better than being a closet homosexual or a closet heterosexual. But bashing others for being any of these is equally bad.

The only "being out" that is important to me is when one "comes out" to him/herself. The rest be damned whether they like it or not - or know it or not.

Have you ever read in the news, or medical/psychological journals, stories about political leaders, religious leaders, and others loudly and fiercely condemning gays only to have it come to light later that they were gay themselves? Or, open gays who later claimed that they had suddenly become straight again after living years as gay.

It appears to me that quite possibly, bi-sexuals are actually the most balanced souls yet most often ostricized from both of the other sides.

I am a male and quite possibly a closeted bi-sexual, but if anyone doesn't like that, they can "suck my pussy." Sorry, borrowed that from a movie---sorta!

meimei

Nov 21, 2009, 1:34 AM

Dear HornedUpRam.
Thank you for the civility of your response. You are correct, I don't know what it is at all to be gay, as I am not gay. But I do not believe that being gay is only about desiring sex with other males either, and I think that may be a part of what you were saying. My homosexual friends are attracted to the same gender on many important levels and sex is just one of those levels.

I also appreciate the fact that you did not once reprimand me for admitting that I may be a closeted bi-sexual. I respect you for that. You sound very secure with who you are and your sexuality. Likewise, you do not know what it is to be Bi-sexual either. Judging from your profile, I think that you may not be as intimidated by, nor offensive toward closeted bi-sexuals as some other people seem to be. You did not advertise exclusively for gay and bi-males who were "out." I presumed whether or not they were "out" was of little consequence to you regarding your mutual sexual pleasure.

The point of my opinion is that I have a suspicious nature when it comes to anyone who becomes too aggressive and judgmental about anyone else on any level relating to any topic. I feel bad for any homosexual who feels pressured to marry someone of the opposite sex, whether that pressure is generated by religion, society, family, or any other source. But, I can accept them for the goodness of their spirit regardless of whether they are out - or closeted. The same goes for heterosexuals and bi-sexuals.

But, in the spirit of the original question asked in this thread, I believe it would be foolish to be less than discreet about one's sexuality in this modern age. Human sexuality is extremely complex at best and terribly conflicting at worst. and whether or not one is out or closeted is their right, and I will always respect and defend their right to be either. There will always be homophobics, heterophobics, and bi-phobics.... and that is the saddest part of it all. But, the worst part is that some of these "phobics" are dangerous!

elian

Nov 21, 2009, 9:25 AM

*lubes up dildo and fucks self with it*

Kids nowadays DO NOT CARE if their classmate has a bisexual or gay parent. It's 2009! Homosexuality has made leaps and bounds compared to how it was perceived by people even a few decades ago and that includes children.

I watched the movie "Milk" and was crying like a baby a few times - they showed footage of a 1970's Gay Pride Parade set to the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - we have indeed come a LONG way. The other time I was crying was of course at the end - when thousands of people, each holding a single candle flooded the street for Harvey Milk's funeral..I wasn't thinking about Harvey Milk, but the thousands of young teens who take their lives every year because they believe they are worthless.

It still happens, to what degree alternative lifestyle is accepted in the US depends on which area of the country you are in and how much you flaunt it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp0uYT0zDbA&feature=related

Hmm..I saw that footage of Anita Bryant and it reminded me of this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajBR0dq0XXk

tenni

Nov 21, 2009, 10:10 AM

"Kids nowadays DO NOT CARE if their classmate has a bisexual or gay parent. It's 2009! Homosexuality has made leaps and bounds compared to how it was perceived by people even a few decades ago and that includes children. "

It would be nice if that were true everywhere. It may be true with certain younger people. I think that there is a surface tolerance and perhaps even a bit more openness and acceptance about sexual experimentation. My seventeen year old niece will jokingly refer to her female friend as her "lesbian lover" but that doesn't mean that it is true. She even puts her friend's name down on her Facebook page as her wife. They are joking and are "probably" not bisexual or gay. It is all a joke to them. However, the word "fag" as a perjorative is used on other kids whenever someone does something that they don't like with the same frequency as twenty or thirty years ago. However, that didn't stop three guys beating up an effeminate young man and then run him over with their car in Toronto last month. He was left on the downtown Toronto road to die at about 3 am. He died. Toronto has the second largest Pride week parade in the world but that doesn't mean that there are not bigots just a few blocks over because that is where this young man died. It didn't stop a beating of a gay university student a couple of months ago either in a mid size city in Ontario. Canada has same sex marriage rights but bigotry exists still everywhere. Even amongst gay people, there are bigots.

mikey3000

Nov 21, 2009, 12:01 PM

Yes, Tenni, you are right. Toronto is not the paradise everyone thinks it is, but it is so much better than many, many other places in Canada, North America, or many parts of the world for that matter.

But please let me correct one point. The poor young man that was purposfully run down a few weeks ago was gay, but the crime wasn't motivated by his sexuality. We were at his memorial. It was motivated because he smacked the side of their passing SUV because it came too close to him. Then they proceeded to beat him up and run him over. Still an absolutely horrendous crime, and I hope they get the bastards, but no indication of a hate crime.

http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/Gay_man_murdered_in_Torontos_entertainment_distric t-7665.aspx

Funny though how the international press likes to add fuel to the fire.

http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=97950

rissababynta

Nov 21, 2009, 12:05 PM

[QUOTE=GayAZN;147559

Kids nowadays DO NOT CARE if their classmate has a bisexual or gay parent. It's 2009! Homosexuality has made leaps and bounds compared to how it was perceived by people even a few decades ago and that includes children.

[/QUOTE]

You're fuckin 40 years old! When was the last time you were a kid in a classroom? I was a kid in a classroom not too long ago and guess what...not everyone is still open and understanding. And neither are you.

mikey3000

Nov 21, 2009, 12:20 PM

You're fuckin 40 years old! When was the last time you were a kid in a classroom? I was a kid in a classroom not too long ago and guess what...not everyone is still open and understanding. And neither are you.

Hey! I'm fuckin 40 years old and I'm not an asshole :bigrin:. But otherwise, yeah, I guess some are just more enlightened than others.

tenni

Nov 21, 2009, 2:34 PM

Mikey
You are correct that it is not being "labelled" a hate crime in the case of the young gay man who was murdered. However, that may be because in order to label it a gay hate crime requires certain specific pieces of information. We only know what was able to be pieced together from surveillance cameras. The specific reason why is not clear as I recall reports. We don't know why /how his hand hit the mirror and the reaction is very , very much an overreaction. We do not have the audio component. Many linked his sexuality to the reason why he was murdered but unless the police catch these three men and they state that it was his sexuality for a reason why they murdered him it will not be labelled a hate crime. It may not be labelled a hate crime even if they confess that they killed him because he was gay. Now, I doubt that they would make such a confession.

rissababynta

Nov 21, 2009, 3:51 PM

Hey! I'm fuckin 40 years old and I'm not an asshole :bigrin:. But otherwise, yeah, I guess some are just more enlightened than others.

I didn't say that he was an asshole, and I didn't say that he was an asshole because he was 40! LMFAO

Spongebob

Nov 21, 2009, 4:01 PM

Married with two kids. Work with Southern Baptist parents.

So far deep in the closet I got another hole you can fuck made by moths!

AMEN brother. I come from a really religious background (though I am not religious) in a very conservative area. I haven't meant anybody or trusted anybody enough to tell them I'm Bi. But luckily I'm only 27 so hopefully I can meet other guys and girls that are in similar situations that i can at least be pen pals with.

Joe, you're funny. I appreciate your humour. Pixbasjay, your post made me feel sad and reflect on my own situation. I was married for a number of years and have kids but we separated recently cos I like men. I agonised over it for years. I still love my ex-wife and it tears me apart but I had to be true to myself finally. I can't decide whether I'm gay/bi. Don't feel alone, email me and we can share some experiences. As for whether I'm discrete. I've told a few people and if anyone asks I'm gonna say but otherwise it's noone's business.

goldenfinger

Nov 22, 2009, 6:24 AM

Since I'm not a true bisexual,:bigrin: no need for me to come out.

niftyshellshock

Nov 22, 2009, 10:06 PM

I'm very discrete about my own bisexuality, and I'm so pro-GLBT rights that it still amazes me how none of my friends (Except the ones that I've told) think of me as anything other than straight.

JP1986UM

Nov 24, 2009, 2:04 PM

*lubes up dildo and fucks self with it*

Based on your attack on me and your anger, yup you are STILL closeted! ;)

Oh good god, you can't possibly have graduated from anything beyond 8th grade. Your logic is severely limited by your lack of experience in anything other than a gay relationship scenario.

GLBT people in developed countries have it VERY easy.

Think you have it oh so difficult and hard being a married or closeted GLBT person in Europe or North America?
WTF does this have to do with anything? I was specific to my life and mine alone.

Think again, you have it VERY EASY compared to GLBT people in Africa and the Middle east, and the Carribean who are put to death by their own native people, families, and government.
And I am supposed to care why?

In America and in other developed countries you have semi-pro and pro athletes who are GLBT and out about it. There are coaches who do happen to be bisexual or even gay and who coach children's sports and nobody cares that they are something other than heterosexual, don't be so closeted.
And your experience with that is what? Watching NASN in Europe? Watching an ESPN expose on gay athletes? Wow, that makes you a fuckin expert now doesn't it? Your ignorance is boundless.

What is SSA? It is no surprise that you are closeted because of your wife. Same sex attraction einstein. What does my wife have to do with that. Other than you are trying to bring her into it because you ran out of arguments in support of....uh....uh...sorry, I can't find your point other than come out of the closet which I did, but in a manner I chose. My lack of advertising seems have have something that bothers you. Don't yet know why, other than it annoys you.

Kids nowadays DO NOT CARE if their classmate has a bisexual or gay parent. It's 2009! Homosexuality has made leaps and bounds compared to how it was perceived by people even a few decades ago and that includes children.

And your personal experience raising kids is what? Your experience in classrooms and hearing about YOUR kids friends is what? Your kids friends who are gay or bi and their experiences? Zero. figured.

Your kids probably already know that you have a male fuck buddy.

They are not stupid no matter how hard you and your wifey try to hide it from them.

AND you know this how? Do you know them? Have you questioned them? Your assumptions are priceless. You are worse than Nancy Peloser stupidly assuming a bill isn't going to cost us a fuckin thing.

Ignorance is truly bliss and you are the happiest person I know!

SwtLstyBi

Nov 24, 2009, 11:53 PM

[QUOTE=GayAZN;147873]You can write all of that drivel including your political crap, but you are not out at all since you are closeted in many ways that you have wrote about.

The rights of other GLB people in other countries has everything to do with the topic. You think that you have it *SOOOOOOOO* hard being a closeted Bisexual suburban white man in America but you have it VERY easy compared to the rest of the world!

I'm a teacher and I have taught all levels in primary and secondary school and my students and bosses there know that I am a gay man and everything is fine. :rolleyes:

You sir are an idiot

He never said his life was SOOOOOOO hard - I am glad you are more out than some are, and that you live in an area that has no problem with gay men teaching their children. I would love to live in such an area myself. Then I could stop worrying about whether or not my grandchildren are being raised with proper perceptions of gays, lesbians and bisexuals since I am the only example they have. My children, my spouse, my friends and my parents all know. Most of the people I hang out with know. I did not tell my grandparents when they were alive, I did not feel it was necessary for them to needlessly worry about something they had no influence on. I don't put it on my facebook page because I have several people there who would be offended by it. I don't hang out with these people but I have interactions with them for different reasons.

People can be out at different levels - just because we don't all live up to your standards does not make us closeted.

JP1986UM

Nov 25, 2009, 12:04 AM

Hey AZN, ever think for one second that perhaps the spouse is fine with my coming out but due to community issues, we agreed to just only tell certain people and leave others out of it?

Ever think that perhaps part of my deference was out of love for her being so kind as to not scream, fall out of bed, run screaming down the hall with her hair on fire, and instead just chose to love me as I am? Accept me for all that I am?

Being out does not require flying a banner or running around telling everyone.

If someone asks, I tell them, but I also ask them for the deference to not run tell everyone else. That's my perogative.

You obviously don't understand because yer a jackass.:flag2::three:

mikey3000

Nov 26, 2009, 2:18 PM

A perfect example of how common sense is not all that common today. Sad really. Respect for one's presonal rights to privacy is something I thought was paramount in all developed countires. Guess not.

Eddie altamonte

Nov 26, 2009, 4:03 PM

So if straight people choose to keep their sex lives to themselves it's ok, but when a bisexual or homosexual does, it's a different story. Ok, now I see...

By the way, for all I know they COULD be bi

I agree whole heartedly if your parents were swingers would they need to get out the closet would they be any worse as parents. This yelling to the 4 winds you like pussy and you you like cock is actually pretty idiotic imo. Do you tell everyone how much money you have in the bank? Do make public your thoughts of wanting your boss to drop dead? There are things that are private and actually should remain private

Doggie_Wood

Nov 27, 2009, 7:39 PM

One word answer to the question - YES

Doggie :doggie:

harrleyguy

Nov 28, 2009, 7:30 AM

I am very descrete, I feel it is nobody's business but mine and my parter (s) I really do not care about a persons sex. It is about sexuality to me. I always look for a person who is free and looking for fun and relaxation. To me the descrestion is part of the fun of bi sexuality. It is like I have an entire different life, that is free from the daily pressures we are all under.

I tottally enjoy my bi-sexual side and when the fun is over I return to my normal life. This is a secret that only I and my partners know about.

so my answer is yes I am very descrete about my sexuality and most I meet are the same way.

lonesome23

Nov 29, 2009, 10:30 AM

I am discrete... I dont tell anyone about my sexual orientation. Though some poeple might think that I'm not straight, i don't really care at all. We have our own businesses so why not mind my own. There are a lot more things to think of. :) ;)

dkdempsey

Nov 29, 2009, 10:40 PM

I prefer to be discreet about my sexual orientation. I'm basically a reserved guy by nature, so this comes easily for me. I tend not to let others know unless I know them well and they ask. Also I feel more comfortable saying I'm a bisexual male on sites such as this.

mikey3000

Dec 3, 2009, 2:32 PM

LMAO this is rich!

Tenni is an academic, an artist, and lives in a world of theory and the ivory tower of Academia instead of the real world!

Now it's clear why you mentally masturbate way too much all the time and why you try to redefine terms just to suit yourself for your own needs! ;)

Dude, I'm surprised you even know what an academic is.

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Dec 3, 2009, 3:34 PM

Gayazn, are you just a cynical, bigoted, insulting, butthead by nature or did you actually have to work up to it?
Cat

mikey3000

Dec 3, 2009, 3:55 PM

Am I supposed to care? :rolleyes:

What I wrote about academia is true.

You hold multiple degrees, yet spew nothing but BS. So yup, you're right. What you wrote about academia is true. My mistake.

rissababynta

Dec 3, 2009, 9:05 PM

A week ago it was homophobe, breeder, and closeted. I guess this week it's Ivory Tower...

csrakate

Dec 3, 2009, 9:46 PM

A week ago it was homophobe, breeder, and closeted. I guess this week it's Ivory Tower...

But don't you know by now that when he writes about it, it's TRUE? We don't need facts or stats....just his word for it. LOL! Sigh...funny how with all of his degrees that were supplied and instructed by those in the very academia that he slams, he fails to see the importance of proving a point than just stating one as truth because that's how HE sees it. Talk about Ivory Towers...it must be very lonely in that one he lives in.

rissababynta

Dec 4, 2009, 12:18 AM

But don't you know by now that when he writes about it, it's TRUE? We don't need facts or stats....just his word for it. LOL! Sigh...funny how with all of his degrees that were supplied and instructed by those in the very academia that he slams, he fails to see the importance of proving a point than just stating one as truth because that's how HE sees it. Talk about Ivory Towers...it must be very lonely in that one he lives in.

Agreed. But, isn't that typical with Trolls anyway.

rissababynta

Dec 4, 2009, 9:12 AM

mikey3000

Dec 4, 2009, 2:17 PM

Oh please. Do you even know what the Ivory tower of theory and Academia is? :rolleyes:

If you have spent any time at a university you have encountered types like Tenni who love to mentally masturbate about theory and who do not live in the real world and who know nothing.

Just look at his huge thread where he condoned cheating since it's somehow (in his mind) OK for bisexual men to cheat on their wives.

What I write here about gay men I do not expect most breeder women like you to understand, and the same goes for gay sex.

Dude, you don't realize this but every time you open your mouth, you prove the case for cheating. Anyone who pokes you in the ass on a regular basis deserves a break now and then. Good luck to your partner. I would bet he's getting it from someone else too. LOL!!! And BTW, don't you realize the irony of your disdain for "breeders"? You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. Yo' Mama was a breeder too! LOL!

rissababynta

Dec 4, 2009, 6:30 PM

My mom and her wife are Lesbian.

If you have actually read my posts since you're so obsessed with stalking me you'd realize that I do not have receptive anal sex.

I see that the English language and reading comprehension are not your strong points. :rolleyes:

Don't even talk down to someone else about reading comprehension when you can't even tell the difference between an insult and advice.

Troll.

rissababynta

Dec 4, 2009, 6:52 PM

Dude, you don't realize this but every time you open your mouth, you prove the case for cheating. Anyone who pokes you in the ass on a regular basis deserves a break now and then. Good luck to your partner. I would bet he's getting it from someone else too. LOL!!! And BTW, don't you realize the irony of your disdain for "breeders"? You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us. Yo' Mama was a breeder too! LOL!

Why do you have to bring up cheating like that again. Are you TRYING to stir up trouble again? LOL

tenni

Dec 4, 2009, 7:14 PM

Don't even talk down to someone else about reading comprehension when you can't even tell the difference between an insult and advice.

Troll.

Although the Troll writes English fairly well, it seems obvious that he lacks a deeper understanding of the semantics and nuances of the English language as used in North America. Perhaps, English is not his first language? He is a Troll. They may have their own language?

goldenfinger

Dec 4, 2009, 7:42 PM

I'm so discrete about my sexuality, I havn't even told myself.:bigrin::bigrin:

mikey3000

Dec 5, 2009, 11:43 AM

My mom and her wife are Lesbian.

If you have actually read my posts since you're so obsessed with stalking me you'd realize that I do not have receptive anal sex.

I see that the English language and reading comprehension are not your strong points. :rolleyes:

But your mom was a breeder at some point, right? Unless someone dumped you on her doorstep as a baby and ran away. :tongue:

And dude, you aren't very receptive to many things in this world. The anal doesn't surprise me one bit.

Otto55

Dec 5, 2009, 5:48 PM

I am honest with my friends, because with most of them , I have been in love, but never done the real thing!! They all know about it (about me being bisexual), though my husband doesn`t. But I suppose he might have a hunch. Well, that doesn`t really matter because I never betrayed him so far. However, it may be only a matter of time ... not nessesarily but I know a guy who would only be too willing to do the craziest things with me.
I can`t say if I will oblige ... time will show ... As for my dear husband ...
I love him , yeah, I really do! But he only makes love to me about twice a year.
That is , if I´m lucky!!!!
That`s a hard thing to endure. But on the other hand he is very nice and gentle which I like very much about him.
Ok, let`s sum it all up in short:
I do talk about my sexuality with my closest friends but never in public.
Bye!
Otto55
P.S.: If there are any mistakes in my writing I ask you kindly to excuse it, please.

Jackal

Dec 6, 2009, 5:47 PM

My mom and her wife are Lesbian.

If you have actually read my posts since you're so obsessed with stalking me you'd realize that I do not have receptive anal sex.

I see that the English language and reading comprehension are not your strong points. :rolleyes:

That Y chromosome that allows you to look down on transmen had to come from somewhere. Pretty sure they only come out of penises. And that babies only come out of uteruses. That sounds a lot like breeding to me.

goldenfinger

Dec 6, 2009, 11:08 PM

I'm not going to tell you if I was adopted or not.

The idea that you think that all men who have sex with men have to be into anal sex or receptive anal intercourse just shows how little you know about gay men and what we do for sex and about how little you know about other bisexual men.

The ignorance of people on this site astounds me but it's not shocking.

Then why don't you just f*** off this site, nobody here want you, you have nothing to offer us, surely, there must be some gay site which would welcome you with open legs, or have you been kicked off all of them, wouldn't surprise me. Just why did you come here in the first place, confused about your sexuality perhaps, you found it easier to call yourself gay rather then admit your bi, but we all here call you JACKASS. What does it feel like to have no friends here, oh, again, the story of your life. So sad.

BLCHGK777

Dec 8, 2009, 3:12 PM

I am not discrete to my friends and my family but people in the church I go to they don't know anything and I don't plan on broadcasting it to them since my church is filled with homo/biphobic, holier than thou, mean people. :kay:

Otto55

Dec 14, 2009, 12:27 PM

For Pasadenacpl:

The German school system educates everyone. You have to take a test in 4th grade, to dicide which school would be appropriate for you. There are three School types. One goes till 9th grade(Hauptschule), next till 10th grade(Realschule) and the last goes till 12th grade(Gymnasium). After 9 year you can add two years and get the same education as the 10-grade-school-students. After 10 years you can add 2 years and get the same qualification as those in the 12-grade-school. So everyone can get a good education depending on his or her achievements.

There is NO test in 8th grade.

Just for clarification. No offence meant.;)