Can we talk? Advice and/or support needed

[meteast chick]

It's hard to know where to start, but I'll try my best. First off, I want everyone to know how fantastic this site is. The people I've met (you know who you are) have been so warm and welcoming and I truly feel like I've been embraced by a 2nd family.

I met my husband when I was 19, I'm 28 now with 2 kids and have been married for 6 years. I've always been attracted to women. I honestly don't know if this is just an unfulfilled fantasy or more. I've battled with depression and I desperately feel there is something missing in my life. I've lost interest in all the things that I used to love...art...poetry...books, and my desire for other women is just increasing, while my desire for my husband is waning. Anymore, I can only get off thinking of other women (1 in particular!), and I don't even want to cuddle with my husband because I don't want it to lead to sex. I can't see myself being happy with a 1 night stand, and I'm afraid that if I go ahead with it (against my husband's wishes, may I add), that I'll destroy my family. He's open to a 3some, but it doesn't interest me very much. I feel stuck. My husband says what I'm thinking of doing is cheating, so at the very least attempting to explore would probably destroy us. My husband has said that he doesn't need sex to be happy, but I think that's a tiny lie, at least. He says that all he wants is me, and if he could trade a lifetime of being with a happy me with no sex he'd do it. But I'm not happy, and I have butterflies in my stomach continually thinking about what could happen. I've had these thoughts for years now and it's increased tenfold in the past 5 months and I feel like I'm ready to explode. Both my husband and I are afraid that this problem in our marriage can't be fixed. I'm not posting this against my husband's wishes, however he has strongly voiced his concern with how much time I spend on this site, talking to "strangers".

I know we should probably see a counselor, but is there anyone out there that can offer a word of advice or even support? I have felt truly honored to be able to talk to you all, and a big thank you to huney and usedbear especially for their continual friendship.

kisses xoxoxo
meteast

[jo69guy]

Wow girl, sounds like you are in a tough spot! I wish I could give you words of wisdom to solve your problem, but alas, I have none. I do believe seeing a councelor is a wonderful idea. They might have some ideas that are beyond me. I see one when needed myself.

I wish that your hubby would be more open-minded like some of the straight partners on here. He may feel threatened by your wanting to explore, and even jealous that you have found some support here. Have you considered having him view the sight? He might find some support too.

I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world!

:2cents: :cool: :flag1:

[Lisa (va)]

I concur with Joe, seems like counseling on some level may be what is needed. Before considering adding a new relationship to your marriage, be it solo or with your husband, you need to have a solid relationship with him first.
It is understandable for him to be concerned of you wanting another woman yet not wanting sex with him. From your post you are obviously talking with one another, maybe a neutral third party (counselor) can help the two of you figure out things within your relationship.

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[rupertbare]

You say that you have had these desires for years - but do they pre-date meeting your husband, do they pre-date your children?

The FFM thing is a big male fantasy anyway, but I am concerned that your husband would give up sex to stay with you for the rest of your days. It is a gallant thing to say but the reality would be something much harder. Marriage and sex go hand-in-hand. It is the physical demonstration of the love that you share. And to be unable to even cuddle him indicates that your relationship has become dysfunctional. So counselling has to be an option - or maybe your family doctor (GP) - do you have a good and close relationship with your GP - would it be possible to make that your first port-of-call.

I know this may sound very strange but in a way a one-night stand may be an answer - it would at least give you the chance to find out if female/female sex is "your thing". I get an impression from what you posted that it isn't only sex that you looking for - but a more committed - dare I say even a loving relationship.

It's very tough for you and for your husband - but would be far worse for your children if this caused a split - beit short term or permanent.

You both desperately need outside help with this and cannot stress enough that you need to find this ASAP.

I wish you all the best. Keep us all "up-to-date" and USE us - we can but try to help you and point you in the right direction.

With love and peace to you and yours

Rupe, London, UK :)

[nubiwoman]

Oh meatast,

So much of what you say has parallels with my own history....

It was when i had just had my second child that i could no longer suppress my bisexual feelings and desire for one woman in particular...

My marriage wasn't happy, despite my convincing myself otherwise and yet i chose to resist temptation and work on my marriage...

We had couples counselling and when i became pregnant after a one off night of drunken sympathy towards my husband, i believed it was fate or 'Gods will' that i should remain married and monogamous...

This had a devastating effect on my mental health and i suspect the symptoms you describe are the beginnings of clinical depression....

My daughter is now six years old .. I have been divorced well over a year now and am in the process of rebuilding my life.... Believe me, suppressing feelings doesnt work indefinitely, no matter how 'inconvienient' those feelings might be...and the more successfully they are suppressed the more damage they cause.. not pretty, believe me..

It may be that you and your husband can reach some common ground where you can remain a partnership whilst neither of you deny or suppress who you are or what you want.... i hope, with counselling you can explore both of your hopes and fears...

I imagine that you are both so very frightened.. I remember my own fears, and those of my husband...

There is a lot more i could say but dont wish to overwhelm you Meatest, please pm me if ever you wish to offload some more about this...

I wish you both well

Julie xx

[anne27]

I agree with those who have said counseling should be first. If your hubby is dead set against it and you go ahead and forfill your desires, disaster might happen. You mention battling depression, are you being treated for it? I really do think you should focus 'in house' before you cave to your lust. Fix what can be fixed between you and your hubby, make sure your depression isn't part of what's going on with you, then figure out what you want out of your life. If it destroys your marriage and breaks up your family, is it worht the price? Only you can make that decision.

I really have a lot of sympathy for your situation. I wish I had more wisdom to offer! I wish you the best of luck!

[huneypot]

all i can say hun is im here for u babes,
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((chick))))))))))))))) )))))))))))
always here for u
hugs n kisses
Huney
:)

[FireRaven]

I feel for you. {}

28 is far too young to spend the rest of your life miserable. It's not a good deal for your children either.

Men, unless there is a physical reason, will not go without a sex life. He may mean it now when he says it, but trust me, if not you, it will be someone else. Which will then be your fault in his view because you didn't want him.

It's good that he knows how you feel and that you know how he feels. If you go ahead and cheat on him it could get VERY ugly in court. If you live in a state that acknowledges seperation, that with counseling may be the answer. If he sees that you are serious in needing to find out about half of your spirit he may find a peaceful place with it or not. But ya gotta make a decision before you make yourself sick with the stress.

The 3some is such a bad idea I can't even go into it ~ it's not what you want and if you think he's freaking out now, just wait.

Oh and for what it may be worth, get ready for him to treat every one of your female friends old and new as threats.

[Driver 8]

Meteast,

I'm sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now. It does sound as though this is something a counselor might be able to help with; if so, though, find out before you start what her or his attitude towards bisexuals is. (I continue to believe that one of the reasons my first marriage broke up was that our counselor agreed with my husband's belief that "bisexuals can't be good spouses" ... long and irrelevant story there.)

There's a forum called Ask Joanne (http://members3.boardhost.com/Ask_Joanne/) for married women who are lesbian or bisexual. The moderator is a lesbian and a relationship counselor; she's written a book, Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1555839185/qid=1129250833/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-8600641-7332822?s=books&v=glance&n=283155), which I haven't read. You might read through the posts there and see if there's anything of use.


He's open to a 3some, but it doesn't interest me very much. I feel stuck.
I'm sure your husband means this to be supportive, but it sounds to me like he's trying to turn your fantasy into his fantasy. (Perhaps to me it's a little like you saying "I'd like to go to Paris," and your husband saying "I'd like to go to Vegas, and they have a Paris-themed hotel! They even have a little Eiffel Tower!")

I will say that I've never heard a bisexual say "I fantasized for years, tried it, and didn't like it." (I also realize that's not a scientific survey.) So, personally, I think that you probably would enjoy being with a woman.

That said, though ... is there any chance that your disinterest in art, poetry, books, and your husband is the cause of your interest in women, and not the opposite? I think that people (and by "people" I mean "me, mostly") sometimes believe that if one particular thing in their life was fixed, everything else would get better. Is it possible that you're depressed for other reasons, and that sexual fantasy is one of the only things that's still working normally for you? (That's not meant as a diagnosis by any means - just a thought.)

[PeterH]

Hi Meteast,

I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a bad state now. I wish there was more I could do for you, but I'll give you my :2cents: for what it's worth.

First of all. I would say: if both you and your husband feel this is a problem that directly affects your marriage, and you don't want a divorce, you do need some counselling. Go for it ASAP.
There's one thing I can give some advise on based on personal experience, and it's this. You are having a depression. You describe the feeling of not liking anything that you used to like before. Those are very clear signs. I've been there (more than once) and I know the symptoms. Get help as soon as you can on that. I can tell you, you don't want it to get worse (I've been there too). What kind of help? I'd say a combination of psychology / sexuology. Find someone you get along with (psychological help is based on a personal relationship), and of course someone who accepts bisexuality as a fact and has no hangups about it.
Also: go do some fun stuff. That's what helped me most to get out of my depression.
About your desire to be with a woman. I don't want to give you any advise on whether to pursue that or not, but you probably know my view that monogamy is a bit like half-celibacy for someone who's bisexual. Not impossible (monks do it, men too), but not necessarily sth you want for yourself.
What might be useful, and I did this when in a relationship and was tempted to be with someone else, is to look at what it was that attracted me to that other person. I found out I was missing sth in my relationship and tried to improve those things with the person I was with. In your case, what you miss may of course be your desire to be with a woman, which is sth your husband can't help you with. But it could also be a desire for sth that is now missing with your husband, but that the two of you can work on.
Relating to this is perhaps your not wanting sex with your husband: if you're like most woman: could it be that you feel that the emotional intimacy is not good, or that he doesn't love you enough, i.e. less than he used to. Most women need a good level of emotional intimacy to want to have sex.
About your husband: First of all, don't give in to his idea of a threesome. You don't want it, period. You might want to talk with him about how he feels. There are several issues that he could have, including: fear that you'll be leaving him for a woman, fear that he's not manly enough, ... Try to find out what his emotions are and think of a way to deal with them.
Some here have suggested that you should get a divorce. That may or may not be a good idea. If you come to the conclusion that being half celibate is eating you alive, and you can't be with just one partner, and your husband cannot accept that, than maybe it's a good idea (note the ifs). But if you are thinking about that, do consider the consequences. How will it affect your life, what sort of life do you want instead, how easy is it to live with that.
Meteastchick, I wish you and your husband all the best and I hope you can work something out and come to a good solution together,

Peter

[searchingbrian]

Meteast,
I know that it is easy for us to say "get counselling" but in this case, you need to ASAP!! I can tell you from experience that if something has been bothering your for years and has led to depression, loss of interest in most things you previously enjoyed, and problems in your marriage, that nothing good can come of continuing on this course. Many marriages end not because of a single problem but because of resentment built up over years of unfulfilled expectations. If you don't seek counselling (and this site is not a substitute for professional counselling), I can guarantee the outcome will not be good. If you get counselling you at least stand a chance of reversing this terrible course you are on. If you husband won't go, go by yourself (but I suspect with your husbands desire to stay with you, he will agree to go). There are many things to consider with decisions to stay or not stay in a marriage and include not only your own feelings but those of your child. This is a complex situation and one that has no easy answers. Please, for everyone's good, find a professional and start your road to recovery.

good luck and please continue to lean on people on this site....that is what many of us do for each other....

[ambi53mm]

Hi Meteast,

Counseling might help at least put things into perspective but I agree with Driver8’s advice of finding out where your counselor stands on issues of bisexuality. I think your desire to be with a woman is part of the issue but you also mention that there is one in particular. This I think has more to do with the situation than anything else. Bisexuality aside having feelings towards another person that seem to dominate your thoughts and emotions say a lot about your current relationship in general. You’re not the same person at 28 that you were at 19. People get married with the best intentions sometimes but for all the wrong reasons. You’re approaching that period in a marriage known as the “7 year itch” it does exist and is just as real and sometimes as confusing as that other period known as “mid-life crisis”.
Your mind will not let this rest until you’ve reached some kind of resolution and reaching that resolution is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Don’t be afraid to make the changes you need to make in your life and to recoup those parts of yourself that make you happy. I believe that those that guide our paths…always have our best interests at heart…We all have those inner voices telling us what we need to do…just listen :)

Safe Journey
Ambi

[rumple4skin]

meteast chick,
I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. You have my support for what it is worth. I think counseling is a good idea and will concur with driver and the others that if you decide to go to a counselor you should find a counselor who does not have any issues with bisexuality. You might want to try individual counseling first so you can speak freely without worrying about upsetting your husband.
You need to be able to talk to someone without worrying about upsetting them, being judged or getting a biased answer. This forum can help but it is not a substitute for an in-depth talk with someone. It does not sound like this situation happened overnight and will take some time for you to work through it. In the mean time do not make any hasty decisions that you will regret later.
You must do something to change this downspin you are on. It does not have to be a big radical thing and seeing a counselor can give you a different perspective. Sometimes the most meaningful changes in my life were a result of a change in my perspective on things. Whatever you decide to do know that you do not have to do it alone. It may take some time for you to climb out of this but if you move in the right direction you will get out of it eventually.
With much love and support,
Rumple

[mike9753]

Hi Meteast:

I agree with many who have said, find a counselor. Try your local woman's center for a referral, but be sure that your husband feels comfortable with the counselor. You should both feel good about him or her because trust is an integral part of getting help.

Unlike others who do not trust your husband's motive in saying that he would do without sex, I think that it is a wonderful thing for him to say. It leads me to believe that he is devoted to you and the family. But, if you continue to feel that you cannot even cuddle with him, then they are right, he will look for emotion attachments and sex from others outside the marriage. If you and he can forge a satisfying emotional attachment, rekindle your love for each other, trust each other and commit to each other, then although it might be difficult, but he might be successful in remaining celibate. My guess is that if he were to remain celibate for a time and you both were able to make it through this crisis, you and he would find new life in your sexual relationship.

However, that does not solve your problem. You seem to be focusing on one person in particular. You have not said if you have and she have had any serious talks, so you may not know how she feels about women as partners or about you in particular. If you are obsessed with her, without any sense of her attitude, then what does that tell you? It tells me you are looking for a rationale to leave your marriage and maybe the role of wife and mother. You have developed a fantasy about another which if acted out would probably end your marriage and damage if not destroy your family. So the task for you may be to understand your own reasons for wanting this. What do you really want? What are you seeking to put in your life that is not there now? You need to think about the underlying issues, not just the symptoms. A good counselor should help with that.

I would also echo what others have said regarding a threesome or for that matter any action that would irrevocably change the dynamics in your marriage. Don't do it! You are an adult, an intelligent, smart, reasoning adult. You are not guided solely by your biological urges. Your intelligence, judgement and will power are there to help you avoid making life altering mistakes. Use your strengths to work this out. If you contemplate taking an action, ask yourself questions such as:
"If I do this and it turns out badly, can it be undone?"
"If I hurt others by what I do now, will they ever be able to forgive me?"
"Is it worth it, in terms of my long term happiness and my children's happiness?"
"Is this really what I want and is it worth the risk of losing all I have or altering my life and my children's life dramatically?"

I hope this helps. I have great sympathy for you, your husband and your children.

Mike

[nubiwoman]

Hi again meatest..

Further to my earlier comments i also want to uphold others warnings to check out any potential counsellors insight into bisexuality..

I trained as a counsellor and was amazed to see how many counsellors colluded with 'conventional' values whilst still describing themselves as having an anti oppressive stance... and I trained at a very socially aware college..

You and your family are too important to settle for second best here...

love julie x

[meteast chick]

First off, thank you. I never expected such a flood of responses. I never intended to use this site as counseling, but I thought the likelihood was that there was someone out there who had been through something similar and might have a word of advice...or like huney(sweet thang), just a word of support and an offer of friendship. I want all to know that when I said that there was 1 person in particular, that was kind of a joke. I guess I shouldn't have put something so lighthearted in such a heavy thread, sometimes I do that so I don't go too dark, if that makes sense.

It's obvious to me that we need counseling. I mentioned it to my husband and he said that I needed help first. I think that my problems directly stem from our problems, but if that's what he thinks may help, then I'm all for it.I think it will be difficult to find an "open" counselor in this area, but I'll give it a shot. Last night we were talking...and he said...<eyes watering up, sorry>..."Is any of this worth it?" To tell the truth, I don't know. I'm so confused, but I think there is clarity afoot. I am a product of divorce myself, and will do anything to avoid that, but at the same time I've tried to suppress that side of me for some time now. The urge was not so strong when I got married and had my kids, I was in puppy love, then I had my kids boom-boom. We've been married 6 years in April and they are 4 and 5. Do the math. We were engaged when I got pregnant, not that it really matters. I've always had a slightly more than mild attraction towards women. In fact, the majority of my ex boyfriends were slight built, higher voiced, and my height 5'7". My husband is not. He comes from old fashion values and is a "good ole boy". I've always on some level known that I could be bi or even lesbian, even back in high school, my best friend and I discussed how easy it would be for either of us. I must say, the stronger the urge becomes, the less I want to have anything to do with him, and he sees it, and has become very jealous and paranoid.

I've known for some time that my depression was creeping back. After the birth of my 2nd son, I became severely depressed and we didn't have sex for a full year. I eventually got a psychiatrist, got meds, got "better" for awhile. I got happier and more interested in sex. This is why my husband wants me to go back on them. What I keep reminding him is how this ended. The meds effectiveness would wane, so the Dr. would keep upping them, then added more and more until I was numb. My own family didn't know me. They said I was like a zombie. My husband didn't seem bothered by it. I then(against dr.'s orders) took myself off of everything. I felt great, like a new person! That was a little more than a year ago, now it's returning to me. I have a long family history of bipolar disorder and severe depression, so I keep close tabs on such things.

I have no intention of threatening my marriage by going through with a 3some or 'cheating' on him, just to make that crystal clear. I am not one to give up, but right now I'm not sure how much of myself I'm willing to give up to stay in this marriage.

LOVE AND KISSES TO ALL!!!!!!
xoxoxo
meteast

[Newmexicanman]

Hi Meteast!

Well, at the risk of possible derision from some people, I have to warn you that I am a qualified, licensed and degreed social worker. I can say many things to give you ways of looking at your own situation, and even tools to use in gaining assistance, but, in the end, you are your own best therapist because any advice given is only as good as your desire to take that advice.

First you need to take a personal inventory. That may be as simple (or as complicated) as writing a list or lists. Suggestions for lists would be writing down everything you can think of that attracted you to you husband, including little anecdotal things such as the romantic and the silly things he did during your courtship. List emotions you go through when he is being a little romantic and wanting to "cuddle." Emotions may include guilt, anger, sadness, even revulsion. List what you think life might be like if you wrre no longer married. Ask yourself the miracle question "If someone granted me one wish to make everything in my life different... What would my life look like?" Ask yourself the 5 year question. "What would I want my life to be like 5 years from now?"

There are many different perspectives that your dilemma can be examined from. A counselor can help you to sift through all of your emotions and help you find your own answers and stop the turmoil you are presently going through.

Remember, though, that you are not alone. This is not an issue unique to you. There is world full of people out there doing battle with issues as important to them as this is to you. There are answers out there, but finding them takes some organization.

On a practical note. You need to find a counselor, and that needs to be someone you feel comfortable with. You can go to a dozen different counselors before you find one that is right for you. Going through various counselors does not mean there is a problem with you, it only means that previous counselors have nt met you expectations in some way. You must, FIRST AND FOREMOST, feel you can implicitly trust that confidante with your most intimate and personal thoughts. To begin, your personal physician is a good place to start. That way sessions can be arranged through your insurance, and you do not need to be specific with your physician as to the reasons for your seeking out a therapist. Secondly, when you approach the therapist of your choosing, you can be as vague as you wish to be. You do nt have to lay it all out on the table in the first session. Thirdly, consider whether you want a counselor that is male or female (this can be an important choice), And, fourth, do a little research on the counselor. Some have Christian-based practices and this can be good r bad depending upon your personal views and needs, others have noted experience dealing with sexual issues, but not necessarily the kind of thing affecting you. You can ask the therapist... You can inquire of people you know... You can even ask your physician what he/she thinks of the therapist. A little research can save you problems in your selection in the long run.

The bottom line to this is that you have all the answers inside of you. Not one other person knows what you want and need more than you do. Going to a therapist/counselor is only meant as a way to help you organize yout thinking and emotions into an order that makes sense to you.

Analogy: Say you have an overgrown garden, and you are not really all that god at gardening. What do you do? Muddle along on your own in the hope that it all comes together and ends up looking okay? Do you make some kind of a plan as to how you would like it to look? (See the inventory developing here?) If it is too much, do you simply call a landscaper and give him carte blanche to do whatever he wants without consulting you? No... The sensible person has some idea of what kind of garden they want and then call a landscaper (after asking around about how good they are!). Have the landscaper come around and then wrk on a plan together so that YOU get EXACTLY what YOU want! Any other garden just ould not work, because it would not have been your dea of what a garden should be.

Believe it or not, your dilemma is not really any different.

I hope, in some small easure, I have helped somehow.

[PeterH]

Hi meteast,

I hope you're feeling better now. It's terrible to be hearing about the depressions you've had. Yours were obviously much worse than mine and mine were bad. I'm still thankful that I'm actually alive today.
Just a simple thought, but you seem to be saying that, before your depression set in, there were always things that kept you busy: boyfriend, marriage, kids. The kids are older now and don't require your constant attention anymore. As a result, you have more time on your hands. How have you been spending your extra time?
My experience is that extra time can be extra time to brood, to worry, to get depressed. Could this be the case with you?
I'm not trying to discount your desires in any way, but mentioned this more as a possible explanation as to why this issue is weighing so heavily on your mind right now.
Another thought. Totally opposite. Research shows that bisexuals suffer more from depression. Might it be the lack of intimacy with a female partner, and your constant effort at suppressing your desires, are causing your depression? How would your husband feel about matters if that were true?
A sexuologist / psychologist might help you find out if this is actually the case.
Another thought. About seeking professionals who accept bisexuality, have you thought about contacting Fritz Klein, the bisexuality author? He might know an open minded one?
I very much hope that your problems will be resolved soon.
Just a last remark, one that my sister gave me when I went through my major depression: do be sweet to yourself. Make sure you love you no matter what. We all do,

Just my :2cents: , Peter

[sweetnjuicyfem]

undefinedI Feel your pain.
Have been through the same situation with my ex. I strongly recommend counseling for the two of you. About the threesome. If it's not what you want, don't do it. Wishing you the best of luck.

Sweet..... :flag3:

[usedbear1950]

"He says that all he wants is me, and if he could trade a lifetime of being with a happy me with no sex he'd do it."

meteast chick,
That statement from your husband is a mighty powerful expression of love. You can ask for no better foundation for your marriage. Seek counseling, talk to each other and take one day as it comes. Life has a way of working things out...let life happen, it just takes time.

ur ever luvin
usedbear
:2cents:

[meteast husb]

I really don't know how to start. Most of you will probably not even see this since this is an old subject, but I still feel the need to add some of my feelings.

The first thing that I want to say is that I respect all of meteast's friends. I got a little involved the other night in a chat session. I thought that it was lots of fun. I want to apologize to you all in the same breath. I must admit that I am a little jealous. My wife and I have been having issues for a while, but since she met you all they have become a lot more obvious. Most of you think that at this point I am going to start talking bad about you guys, but that is not the case. I almost want to thank you for it. We have talked more in the last three days then in the last 3 years. I hope to be able to support my wife no mater what happens. I will let you all know that I am willing to try most of your advice. We started contacting counselors today. I am going to try to utilize this site more for expressing my feelings and showing support.

I also hope that I will be able to make relationships like my wife has. You all seem fun.

Talk Soon

meteast husb

[Michael623]

I wish you two the best. It's not often we at bisex are exposed to these type struggles. Namaste!

[Mimi]

Hello Meteast,

I am an out-bisexual therapist and one semester away from getting my PhD in clinical psychology. From what I am hearing, I do highly recommend individual counseling for you AND couples counseling for you and your husband. And yes, do find a bisexual-friendly one -- don't waste your time on a therapist that isn't competent to work with your issues (it would be like going to an orthodontist for a gynecological problem).

Here are some referrals:

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Helpline
(888) 340-4528

And since you are in Illinois, check out:
The LGBT Center on Halsted (in Chicago)
(773) 472-6469

When you call, say that you are looking for individual counseling and couples counseling, and that you are looking for a bi-knowledgeble and bi-friendly therapist (READ: not all gay and lesbian therapists are supportive). They will probably be able to refer you to someone in your area.

Good luck!! There is hope!! :angel:

[Newmexicanman]

Hi Meteast!

You know, you have many things on your side, including a supportive husband that wants to involve himself in all that you are going through. Bravo Meteast husband!!!!

Bravo too, to the therapist who responded with good sound practical approaches to your dilemma. She embraces the notion that the answers lie within you, and cautions that appropriate therapy is essentia. She is absolutely right.

The number one thing to remember is that you are not alone. Nor is your husband. The are countless numbers of people in a countless settings going through much of what you are going through and, often, even more.

"...don't waste your time on a therapist that isn't competent to work with your issues (it would be like going to an orthodontist for a gynecological problem)."

Truer words never said!

You have a lot to contend with - both of you - I wish you both success, and all the happiness the world has to offer you....

[rumple4skin]

Meteasts - both chick and husb :)

I think it is great that you too are talking more. I wish the best for both of you. I am looking forward to seeing you both in the chat sometime :)

Rumple,