yet to come out to anyone...

[Sajibee]

Hey everyone,
I very recently realized my bisexuality, but I'm still extremely confused. I'm female, and I've always been very attracted to males, but I've also always found some women to be extremely attractive, more so than my straight female friends. I'm halfway through my second year of college and these feelings have been increasing. Am I still bisexual if I have a strong preference towards men but have strong feelings towards certain women? All of my friends are very accepting of the gay community, but I still feel very apprehensive about coming out to them. I'm most worried about my female friends, and that they will feel uncomfortable going swimming with me or having sleepovers. I'm also an RA on my campus, and I'm afraid that my female residents won't feel comfortable about coming to talk to me if they find out. I'm just not sure about how to explain to them exactly how I feel and what this all means. Help?
Thanks so much,
Sajibee

[fredtyg]

I would say that if you find yourself sexually attracted to both men and women, to whatever degree, then you would be considered bisexual. No big deal, really. Nothing wrong with being bisexual. At least that's how most of us feel.

As far as outing yourself to others, I'd suggest for now just doing that on a need to know basis.

[onewhocares]

Hi Sajbee,

I can only imagine all the thoughts and feelings that are going through you mind as of late. I do not think it all that odd that although you are attracted to men, certain women can also be attractive to you too. It is not uncommon. I am not sure what the policy at your school is about ones sexual orientation for RA's and the like, it might be worth checking into before you make comments to those around you if you are uncomfortable. There are many young folks your age here that might be able to also give you some advice when you get to know them too. Welcome to the site and hope to catch you in chat.

Belle

[csrakate]

Welcome to the site. I hope you'll find the support you need here. As for coming out, I agree with the others...take it slow and do so on a need to know basis. Your sexuality is your business and until you are comfortable with it, no one else needs to be informed. You still have lots of questions in your own mind to work through so by all means, take it slow....you have plenty of time! Enjoy the site as well as the many people here who have "been there and done that"! They should be able to give you lots of guidance and advice.

Kate

[straddle]

I'm now a 50 year old male. I was around your age when I realized that the sexual attraction that I sometimes felt for other males could mean that I was possibly bisexual. When I wasn't denying it to myself it scared me to death. I was always very attracted to females and was afraid of what they would think if they or my male friends would find out. In those days I did a lot of partying, and after a few drinks I started to slip away to a gay bar and indulge in my secret desire. Afterwords I would be depressed and full of shame, yet my encounters increased in frequency until it scared me so much I quit drinking completely. I eventually met and married my wife,had two great kids, and have a fairly nice house, I'm not happy. I still carry that secret desire. If anything the feelings increase with time and denial. If I had it to do over again I would not have defined myself into the box that was created by me from my own perception of what other people would approve of. I however would not throw myself at the mercy of their judgment I would let things fall as they do. Bisexual may be what I am but it does not define who I am

[Sajibee]

Thanks everyone! I just came out to my best friend, and he was extremely understanding and supportive. I feel much better now that someone knows and is behind me 100 percent. I think I will keep it within my close group of friends for now. Thank you again!

[FalconAngel]

I would say that if you find yourself sexually attracted to both men and women, to whatever degree, then you would be considered bisexual. No big deal, really. Nothing wrong with being bisexual. At least that's how most of us feel.

As far as outing yourself to others, I'd suggest for now just doing that on a need to know basis.

That's pretty much it. If you are attracted to both genders, to any degree, then you are Bisexual.

Wallow in it and enjoy.

Feel free to continue asking questions here. There will be plenty of folks who will be glad to help.