Off topic thread

[SWCube]

I was reading a thread on here recently and read something in a post that greatly upset me, enough so that I felt the need to say something about it, but I did not want to disrespect the OP of that thread or start an off topic conversation in the middle of that one. Because of that I have decided to start a new thread and post my views.

Recently it was posted 'i think some people here make a mistake ... a true bisexual person sexauily requires both to be fullfilled.' and this is something I strongly disagree with. This statement sounds more like a small child at a toy store saying "But I NEEEEEEDDDD this video game." They may believe they will never be fulfilled if they do not get it, but that is not true. It is simply a strong statement of desire.

I am a bisexual male. I am not closeted. I do not go around declaring my sexuality to everyone I come across, but I will never deny what I am. I do not need the company of both sexes to be fulfilled. I need my partner only to be fulfilled. My girl friend and myself (both bisexual and on this site) have an open relationship in the respect that we will have sexual encounters with people outside the relationship, but we never play alone. If she one day decided that she was not comfortable with that and no longer wanted to play with anyone outside of our relationship, I would not only respect that and follow through with it, I would have no problem doing so. That would not mean that I was straight, no longer bisexual, or unfulfilled for the simple reason that I am not a slave to my sexual desires.

The thing that truly upsets me about this though is that my girl friend has made several comments to me of that same nature and I have gone to great lengths to prove otherwise simply to have it thrown in my face here on this board. The poster of that comment stated 'im concern a bi website has such narrow views and condems its member when thier struggling with there identietys' and yet they make one of the most narrow-minded, stereotypical statements one can make about the bisexual community, one that I am sure that most people on here have faced. That is, bisexual/gay men are all cock hungry people that will go down on any person with their member exposed with no control at all.

While I could continue to go on about how "love is putting your partners needs above your own and sacrificing your happiness for theirs" rhetoric and such, all points that I also feel strongly about, I will leave this post at that. I am not flaming anyone, I am not stating anyone is wrong, and I am not trying to start any arguing. What I am doing is expressing my point of view about something that I felt strongly enough about that I felt the need to post my views here. Please feel free to agree, or disagree. But thats my :2cents: .... and maybe a little more. :tongue:

[Long Duck Dong]

I posted once about the term *true bisexual * and was told its a insult to bisexuals and implies that a lot of bisexuals are not truely bisexual.....
in fact I defined my understanding as a true bisexual as a person that has both feminine and masculine traits in a emotional / mental and physical appearance that is fuild in sexual and non sexual ways.... never did I imply that many bisexuals were not bisexual at all

to me a true bisexual is twin spirited in the same body, its nothing to do with sex or sexual contact... but who the person is......

now in saying that..... we refer to bisexuals as attracted to both genders.... again, nothing to do with sex as I am constantly told bisexuality is not sex driven....but..... if I look around the site at some threads .........

ok, I am the same as you, SWCUBE, I am not controlled by sex or sexual desires.... I can survive without sex or sex with only one gender, or with both.....

I have a straight partner that is monogamous minded, she has no desire to involve others and thats simply her personality type....
I revealed my bisexual nature to her and gave her the option of walking away.... she gave me the option of monogamy with her or walking away......
to me sex is not love, and love is not sex, but love and love making are fantastic in the right relationship so I chose to grab her with both hands.... knowing that I am bisexual by nature.....

she has revealed to me today that she will look at a open relationship in the future..... and I was ok with that, but I said, do not be surprised if I do not take up the chance to go off with others......

as for same gender sex.... its nice and I can enjoy it..... but I can not find love at the same rate I can find sex partners..... and so I would rather have love than sex......

I grew up in a home with a christian mother, but not at any stage has the choice to be monogamous, being a result of christian teachings or views....

it has everything to do with the fact that I can not just casually hook up and fuck somebody.... it doesn't interest me.....

love and loving, interests me, and I would rather be in a sexless ( meaning neither of us can have sex ) but loving relationship, than a loveless, sex filled ( with my partner or others ) relationship......

[roy m cox]

um SWCube & long i think you are confused because a true bisexual is attracted to both sexes not just one or the other and yes a lot of true bisexual is twin spirited in the same body i have a very femmy side of me and i do like both sexes at the same time the people that can't decide witch sex that they want are the ones who are not a true bi they just like one or the other but not both they even end up staying with one mate , i on the other hand am the sort that one way or the other will have 2 mates till the day i die and i will have it documented to , i just hope one day you can and maybe will enjoy having 2 mates , i am going to keep trying to get 2 if its the last thing i do

i am driven to both sexes and can not help it at all despite what others think i do and truly love both male and female and that is that fact of it

:flag1::bibounce::flag1:

[Long Duck Dong]

um SWCube & long i think you are confused because a true bisexual is attracted to both sexes not just one or the other and yes a lot of true bisexual is twin spirited in the same body i have a very femmy side of me and i do like both sexes at the same time the people that can't decide witch sex that they want are the ones who are not a true bi they just like one or the other but not both they even end up staying with one mate , i on the other hand am the sort that one way or the other will have 2 mates till the day i die and i will have it documented to , i just hope one day you can and maybe will enjoy having 2 mates , i am going to keep trying to get 2 if its the last thing i do

i am driven to both sexes and can not help it at all despite what others think i do and truly love both male and female and that is that fact of it

:flag1::bibounce::flag1:

I am not confused at all..... you are thinking of bi sexual v's bi gender

the difference is that a bisexual is sexual attracted to both genders fluidly, and you can get the top / bottom aspect of sexual contact with both genders but the emotional / mental attraction to a single partner.... or the cock and pussy attraction that you often see mentioned in the forum

bi gender person or a person that has a clear feminine / masculine dual personality.... bi gender is the correct term, not true bisexual
Bigender defination (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigender)


they can be bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, transgender, pansexual or asexual....

the term true bisexual refers to a person that is bisexual and / or bi gender, with equal attraction, desires and emotional and mental needs with both genders.....

the term true is misleading, it doesn't mean genuine or real, it is a reference to a plumb line that a carpenter may use.... to check of a building is * true * or not leaning to one side or the other.....

I use the term true bisexual to define a person that is bi gender, and that shifts between the feminine and the masculine aspects in a bisexual capacity, but instead of swing from male to female attraction and back again, they move between strong attraction with male and females to no attraction ( asexual ) and back again..... the true part refers again to the equal balance between males and females, and not meaning real or genuine


I would be very careful saying that bisexuals are not true ( real or genuine ) bisexuals because they have a leaning more to one side than the other, cos they are still bisexual....

[dodartist]

I read this a couple of times and tried not to respond, however.
This topic seems to come up a great deal of the time and , frankly, I don't understand why. The only label I can accept is "human". I am not aware of any other description of sexuality that is so difficult to accept. I would ask the other members of the community , gay, lesbian, and straight, if they further define themselves to the n'th degree.
As an example, are straight males who seem to be attracted to blondes "Brunette-phobic", or if you happen to be caucasan and fall in love with a lady from Japan, are you a "closet-Asian" I think not and anyone would correctly point out the absurdity of such a statement.
Speaking only for myself, I am a bi-sexual person for the simple reason that I like to be intimate with my friends and loved ones whether they are male or female; period. The closeness I feel with the people I care about can be shared sexually, physically, and emotionally. I see nothing wrong with expressing my love for a male friend in a similar manner as I do with a female friend. For me, the connection is already there and the sexual expression is an extension of that love. I do not look for the "hook-ups" with either sex.
I am not belittling anyone's attempt to understand themselves, but sometimes, it seems to me, that every individual has to come to terms with the fact that they are skinny, or blonde, or growing old, or any number of other situations in life. We simply are who we are and in a diverse community such as this one, there should be room for each and every individual to see themselves as they want, not what makes us comfortable and safe.
As far as the fantasies go, it is a very healthy release to fantasize about a variety of things. Whether or not you act on those fantasies is a personal matter and I respect you all for the choices you have made. Please respect my choices as well. May your God or Godess bless your endevours, and remember that the purpose of Life is the journey itself, not the destination.
With love for all, I leave you to your deliberations.

[roy m cox]

I read this a couple of times and tried not to respond, however.
This topic seems to come up a great deal of the time and , frankly, I don't understand why. The only label I can accept is "human". I am not aware of any other description of sexuality that is so difficult to accept. I would ask the other members of the community , gay, lesbian, and straight, if they further define themselves to the n'th degree.
As an example, are straight males who seem to be attracted to blondes "Brunette-phobic", or if you happen to be caucasan and fall in love with a lady from Japan, are you a "closet-Asian" I think not and anyone would correctly point out the absurdity of such a statement.
Speaking only for myself, I am a bi-sexual person for the simple reason that I like to be intimate with my friends and loved ones whether they are male or female; period. The closeness I feel with the people I care about can be shared sexually, physically, and emotionally. I see nothing wrong with expressing my love for a male friend in a similar manner as I do with a female friend. For me, the connection is already there and the sexual expression is an extension of that love. I do not look for the "hook-ups" with either sex.
I am not belittling anyone's attempt to understand themselves, but sometimes, it seems to me, that every individual has to come to terms with the fact that they are skinny, or blonde, or growing old, or any number of other situations in life. We simply are who we are and in a diverse community such as this one, there should be room for each and every individual to see themselves as they want, not what makes us comfortable and safe.
As far as the fantasies go, it is a very healthy release to fantasize about a variety of things. Whether or not you act on those fantasies is a personal matter and I respect you all for the choices you have made. Please respect my choices as well. May your God or Godess bless your endevours, and remember that the purpose of Life is the journey itself, not the destination.
With love for all, I leave you to your deliberations.

i could not say it better thx

[SaraSaurus]

The problem with labels is that we have the tendency to want to go around and use them on everyone else when in truth, you can only label yourself based on your own understanding and definitions.

I am a bisexual, not because of what anyone else might think but because of how I see myself. I am equally attracted to both sexes but when it comes to relationships, I am a firm believer in monogamy and would not even consider an open relationship. This might not fit in with other people's view of what a bisexual is but it doesn't matter because no one else has the right to label me except myself.

[FalconAngel]

Since when is any topic on this site off topic?
:bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::tong::tong::tong::rotate: :rotate::rotate:

[Annika L]

Since when is any topic on this site off topic?
:bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::tong::tong::tong::rotate: :rotate::rotate:

LOL, especially this one?? This *is* the topic, isn't it?

[rissababynta]

LOL, especially this one?? This *is* the topic, isn't it?

I was thinking the same thing haha.