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View Full Version : we do marry them ( joke )



Long Duck Dong
Nov 1, 2009, 7:54 AM
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

FalconAngel
Nov 1, 2009, 4:10 PM
Got to love Rodney Dangerfield.

Those were some of his best gags.

Realist
Nov 1, 2009, 4:49 PM
Rodney said his friend gave him the number of a hot chick.

He called a girl and she said, "Come on over; there's no one here!"

He said he got over to the lady's house and she was right, there was no one there!

Man, he got NO respect!

I thought he was funny as hell, my ex couldn't stand to look at him!