Sex and Pregnancy [Archive]

innaminka

Feb 28, 2006, 1:53 AM

Time to tie a knot in it, Johnny I'm thinking.
You know, having a frolicking football in your lower abdomen, a bladder that seems to have sprung a leak, a back that wishes it had never happened .....
get the picture??

7 months? You've done well. Become a carer and cuddler instead. She'll appreciate it.

rupertbare

Feb 28, 2006, 2:49 AM

The normal advice on this one is: if it's comfortable - do it and if not stop.

Sex near to the "due" date - often in a doggy position with maybe support from cushions - is actually a good thing - it can induce labour.

I've taken this to mean full penetrative sex - of course there's all sort of other sexual pleasuring that can go on!!!

I don't know if this is your first child, but it is worth remembering that women get very very tired at around this stage, some woman don't have a very high sense of physical attractiveness about themselves, and as has already been pointed out - lower back pain can be a real problem for most women and that alone can make sex uncomfortable.

Methinks - lots of cuddles, gentle kissing and massage - especially massaging of the tummy and breasts and of course the lower back - gentle just be very gentle and loving.

And good luck with the rest of the pregnancy - treat her like a princess!!

Oh yeah - and get LOTS of sleep NOW - because you won't get much after the birth!!! lol!!! :)

With love and peace to you and yours

Rupe, London, UK

searchingbrian

Feb 28, 2006, 3:12 AM

This as in many things depends on the people involved. There are ways to enjoy full sex almost up to the day of delivery. Obviously, position and gentleness are of extreme importance. But it can be done and with hormone levels being high, it can be extremely pleasurable for both parties (in my past experience). Some useful positions include lying on her left side and on her knees with her upper body supported by multiple pillows. From what I have been told, this can make it very fun. Just a thought.

red_riding_hood_27

Feb 28, 2006, 6:12 AM

Since I have had pregnant 5 times with 4 live births. A 9 y/o and 3y/o twins and a 20 month. So as to sex it depends on the woman and if she is comfortable with it. I was okay til about 6 months along. After that no postion period is comfortable. Not walking, sleeping and esp. sex. As long as the doctor does not put any restrictions on you then go ahead. Most women like to have sex the last month to hurry contractions for the birth. Sex can cause pre-term delivary. With the twins we were told no sex after 30 wks becuase of the chance of delivaring (sp) early. So have fun as long as she is willing.

Also some women find sex during pregnancy better. You are a little more sensitive down below. With the extra hormones some might get even more horny then usual (that's me).

Let us know when she delivers!! I love babies! Thank God though No more for me!! (lol)

Have a Great Day
Angela

PS: I am so sorry if any of my post have misspelled words or poor grammer. I am a better speaker then writer. I never learned to spell correctly. I guess I better get a dictionary when I post (lol).

rupertbare

Feb 28, 2006, 6:26 AM

Angela,

Sorry to hear of your loss - as a man who has had to go through three miscarriages - one very late and dead in the womb that had to be delivered - you have my every sympathy. God bless you.

And three year-old twins and a 20 month old - !!!!! - I really cannot begin to imagine how you cope!!!!! lol!! :)

And as a dyslexic my spelling is poor and as for grammer - I have my own system!!!! (Oh, and being a Brit means my spelling differs from many others on here anyway!!!! lol!!)

Maybe Drew could provide us with a "spell-checker"

With lots of love and Peace to you and all of yours

Rupe, London, UK

nubiwoman

Feb 28, 2006, 1:06 PM

... I too have carried three babies to term and remember the frustrations of feeling very horny but also very vulnerable at being so ungainly :(

.... all the advice about positions, letting her take the lead in how intimate you are etc is great...

..... the only thing i can add is- with all those hormones flying about and such an altered body image she well lose some self confidence in her appearance...

......just leave your lady in no doubt about how attractive you still find her....

......believe me.. this advice comes from the heart :rolleyes:

......enjoy each other.. Love julie x

Chaia

Feb 28, 2006, 2:37 PM

I also carried 3 babies to term and I was not interested in sex at all at the end. I didn't want anyone massaging anything except my lower back, which ached, my feet, which ached, and my hips, which ached. I wasn't sleeping because I could only lay in one position for about 2 hours before the hip pain woke me up and I had to turn over. Breasts are tender, stomach is stretched to the limit. Some women are just not in the mood -- for several months. I know many who were in the mood, but I was not one of them. It is wonderful to have an understanding husband who tells you how beautiful you are, even though you know he is lying...
:) Chaia

rupertbare

Feb 28, 2006, 4:10 PM

Chaia - how little you know some of us men!!! lol!!! :)

Some of us tell our pregnant partners that they are beautiful when "large with child" because we actually DO think that they are!!

Many women hate their "stretch marks" (is that a UK term - does it make sense in North America?) after childbirth when, even after all of those post-natal exercises and sunshine, they refuse to go away.

But some of us chaps view them as "badges of honour" - that the woman has pushed her body to the limit to carry a child, to show the world what has been (well hopefully) an act of love and commitment.

Well that's another :2cents: lol!!!

Love and peace from London, UK

Rupe :)

Mrs.F

Feb 28, 2006, 4:15 PM

I think alot depends on the woman. My husband and I had a very hard time getting pregnant. Through many yrs. of trying on our own and nothing happening, we opted for medical help. 2 miscarriages later, the 3rd pregnancy was going great. I ended up on blood thinners the entire pregnancy and was called a high risk pregnancy. I never felt sick or had problems but for me it was more fear to have sex and basically cut Flounder off all together. I know...bad :rolleyes: But I was not about to lose a third baby and I was going to do everything and anything possible to have that baby. By the end of the pregnancy I didn't feel the greatest and was taken off work. So, with that all said...it all depends on how she feels, if she is comfortable and in the mood. I was horny as hell sometimes but was not comfortable. My stomach was so big, it was always in the way. But I also agree to make sure you tell her how beautiful she is. :)

And, we now have a almost 3 yr. old boy. He's the light of our lives! He's a lil Flounder. :yikes2: LOL.

ladydelanie

Feb 28, 2006, 5:59 PM

Johnny,

I carried 3 children, one a set of twins.
I have to say I never had any problems at all......than again it does all depend on the woman.

One thing you need to keep in mind. I think Rupert mentions this as well.

Go slow. You cant have crazy wild sex! Sex yes....slow and tender.

Wishing you the best of luck. Congrats on your new little one!....

ladyd :tong:

huneypot

Mar 1, 2006, 4:45 PM

Must be a very difficult time for u both,
perhaps oral sex could be of some comfort?
I have never been pregnant myself so I do not understand the position ur wife is in, however im sure that ur sex drive doesn't vanish into thin air (mothers may disagree with me here and think that nothing but a hot water bottle is all they would like :) )
What comes to mind for me is all the other forms of pleasure that dont involve sex itsself
ermmmmm
am i makin sence :rolleyes:
anyway
all the best to u and ur wife and the lill 1 on the way
hugs
Huney
:)

red_riding_hood_27

Mar 1, 2006, 5:23 PM

If your partner is performing oral sex (cunnilingus) on you, be careful that he does not blow any air into your vagina. Doing this could force air into your bloodstream and cause an embolism, which could obstruct a blood vessel and can lead to deadly consequences for both mother and child.
- Performing oral sex on your partner (fellatio) is always safe during pregnancy and for some couples is a very satisfactory substitute when intercourse isn’t permitted.

If you do oral sex make sure you read on sex during pregnacy. There are several websites that give you help on what postion is the best for women.

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/sex_during_pregnancy.html

Try that article interesting advice
Angela

Driver 8

Mar 1, 2006, 5:27 PM

I know that in one of her books, Susie Bright has a thoughtful essay on pregnancy. She's a sex writer and wrote about her changing relationship to her body and changing desires - in her case, she was still aroused, but the usual things weren't working for her. Don't own it, though, so I'm not sure which one.

Since I, uh, neglected to mention my reservations about a certain other sex columnist in a certain other thread, I'll mention that Bright's track record about bisexuality could be better IMO. (Yes, I know she periodically identifies publically as bi - but she seems to usually call herself "lesbian," and only bring the bi label out when, say, there's a TV program about bisexuals and she can snag a place on the panel, there to announce how she's oh-so-beyond being bisexual any more.)

WillowTree

Mar 1, 2006, 8:51 PM

Lorcan

Mar 1, 2006, 9:54 PM

Any advice? It doesn't seem to be working for me & my wife very well (she's at 7 months).

Love,
J

I don't know if i should pipe up here, because i'm so strange as to be ludicrous.... but you never know what advice will help you...

When i got pregnent from the very first day, i could not get off with my husband. I read all the pregnany books and they all said that sex was good for woman being pregnant unless they had "problems with their body image".
I knew it was not that, because i seriously do not care what i look like. And besides, it also was like that in the first 3 months.

Then there was one book that said that a woman's genitials might have a "feeling of fullness which impairs your feeling satified". Damn straight! I couldn't even cum with all that bloody estrogen in me.

Needless to say, i have only one kid. :tong:

The good thing was, it all came back to me soon me soon after the kid was out. So good luck; i hope it's the same with you.

csrakate

Mar 1, 2006, 10:52 PM

Johnny...
I know it is a frustrating time for you...but just think..in two months you will experience more joy than you ever imagined possible. But to be honest, sex during the final trimester is a little less than pleasurable at times for the mom to be. Especially if she carries the baby rather low. Then there is the added tension of her fear of "hurting" the baby...and although we all know that isn't possible in practical terms..for a mom to be...practical can go out the window.

But fears aside...sex is fine up until the final days...only time you really need to worry is if the water has broken...then you should avoid it...but chances are if you experience that you will hardly be thinking about sex. On a more positive note, if your wife goes past her due date, you could always do what my hubby did..tell her that sex induces labor...she'll be glad to do anything to bring that on!!!

Best of luck to you both...and I look forward to hearing about your new addition!

Hugs,
Kate

slaphappypud

Mar 1, 2006, 11:47 PM

If your partner is performing oral sex (cunnilingus) on you, be careful that he does not blow any air into your vagina. Doing this could force air into your bloodstream and cause an embolism, which could obstruct a blood vessel and can lead to deadly consequences for both mother and child.
-
Angela

I actually asked our doc about this one. According to him it would take about a gallon (~4 liters) of air to cause problems as the blood is very efficient at absorbing gasses (that's what it's for, afterall). The big danger with oral on a pregnant woman is placing too much suction in the vagina. Oral should be limited to the clitoris. Also we were told penile penetration is fine as long as she's comfy with it, but NO fingers, dildos or other inflexable objects. The big rule is, if it's not comfy DON'T!
With our first, my wife was very, very hot to trot. It became scary for me in the later stages (hence the talk w/ the doc), but with out second she felt bad and there was very little sex.