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View Full Version : how to tell if your bisexual



stiff14u2c10
Feb 27, 2006, 7:46 PM
how does one know he's bisexual,you see i wear womens panties bras etc.but i tell people i wear them because there comfortable but wear them and other womens clothing around the house and i kind of get excited when i see a guy taking a shower,or just walking by my wife buys the items for me and she is bisexual is there something wrong with me please let me know

billy_campbell
Feb 27, 2006, 8:06 PM
Here is a great article which addresses very well many of the questions I have seen about what is gay, bi, straight, etc. It is long but very interesting.

http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/queer/amigay.html

SilverWulf
Feb 27, 2006, 8:06 PM
Wearing womens clothing, around the house or under your regular clothes, is usually classified as cross dressing. Cross dressing is a fetish all of it's own and not necessarily connected with being bisexual. Yes, the two can go together, but you don't necessarily have to have one to have the other.

It is wonderful that your wife buys the items for you and supports this desire of yours. You probably don't realize how lucky you are.

You say you get excited watching a guy taking a shower.

Excited in what way?

Do you have any urges to be with him sexually? Do you fantasize about sexual relations with other guys? If so, you are probably at least bi-curious.

Finally, no there is not a thing wrong with you! Talk to your wife, since she is bi she will (more than likely) be able to help you sort some of these feelings you are having out. Be honest and upfront with her, in my opinion if she is supporting your cross dressing fetish she won't have a problem discussing your budding bisexuality with you.

Good luck, and take care.

rumple4skin
Feb 27, 2006, 8:18 PM
Welcome to the site!!!!
I wish there was an easy answer to your question about how to tell if you are bisexual. I think it is something you have to work out for yourself. I can tell you that I do not think that wearing womens clothes means there is something "wrong" with you nor does it mean you are bisexual. This is a great site to learn what it means to other people to be bisexual and get some of your own answers to that question. Your wife may be able to help you there too since she is bi.
In my case I found that I was aroused by both women and men and that I enjoyed sexual activities with both. I can tell you that for a long time I struggled with my own sexual identity. I kept trying to make myself fit what I thought other peoples definitions were. I had to put aside the stereotypes and ask myself some tough questions.
Good luck to you.

Long Duck Dong
Feb 28, 2006, 4:06 AM
adds his :2cents:

ok the way you dress, doesn't state your sexuality, lol... it was tradition for ladies to wear skirts/dresses and males to wear pants, and if we use dress sense to define sexuality, then the world is fill of butch pants wearing lesbians/female bi's lol

sure i can wear females clothes, but i am trying to place myself in the mindset of a female... like how do they react, think, feel, and relate to and understand the world as opposed to the male viewpoint

bisexuality means the bi or dual sexuality and thats maybe the best way to describe a people that acts in the mannerism of both sexes, in much the same way as hetero sexual and homo sexual refer to the mannerism of themselves

heterosexual meaning the person following a disposition to join with the opposite sex and homosexual to the same sex
using that as a example then bisexual would mean joining with both sexs but it doesn't mean having sex with both sexes
in the nature of platonic relationships, it is possible to be drawn to / attracted to both sexes without the need for sexual contact with one or both sexes

now in your case you entertain the feminine aspects of yoruself with womens clothing but it may well be that you are not attracted to the male sex but to a female ( your partner) playing the male role and possibly in a more dominant / masculine sense....and that doesn't have to mean that she penetrates you during sex, but that she may take the *power* role in postions like lady on top etc etc

ErosUrge
Feb 28, 2006, 8:29 AM
How does one know one is bi??? Great question. I have always been this way; always. It was a gradual discovery as far as giving it a name and identity. But the actual living and feeling of these things was always what it is as it is today. Everyone has their story of course. There is so much to say about it but I will keep it plain and simple if that is possible and get to what I believe is the essence of it. I had a very troubled life over my sexuality for most of it in that I refused to accept being bisexual for a good part of my adult life. When I was a teen, I didn't question it at first. I just had sex with both sexes whenever the opportunity presented itself except for the girls because of a childhood trauma that took place which I cannot go into right now. However, my desire for the girls was unmistakable. I really felt the pull towards the opposite sex in an immense way. I refrained because of the fear of pregnancy and I nor my female partners had no access to birth control besides condoms and neither of us wanted me to wear one. But I was constantly having sex with the boys until one of my closest male friends brought up to me tha what we were doing was wrong. Naturally, he always brought this up after I'd brought him to an orgasm by hand or by mouth. At first I didn't really care that much about his comments. But then after hearing him over and over, I began to wonder. He and I finally stopped having sex but I continued with other guys into my mid teen years. Then finally, I started regularly with females too. By this time, I believed something was wrong with sex with guys, so I stopped thinking that I was now cured of this dreadful thing. But just 2 years later, I discovered through reading that there were people who experienced sex with both sexes. My first exposure to the idea was through "Stranger in a Strange Land" by R. Heinlein and then at the time, David Bowie was making a major impact in the pop/rock music scene and telling the world about his bisexuality. He became quite an icon for those of us who were so young and weren't sure about our sexuality. Then I was absolutely convinced I was bisexual and began to make bold annoucements about it. But society (at least here in Texas) beat us back. Or at least scared me and again, after a Rennaissance of just a few years from the early 70's to the late 70's, all came to an end for me personally. By the time the 80's came in, I was hiding it. But I could not prevent myself from desiring sex and participating sexually with both. All this said, I must point out that sex for me with men has always been about that and only that; Sex. I always had my involved and emotional/sexual relations with women. Even now, when I see women publically, I am pulled towards them physically and otherwise. The same doesn't apply with men except on the rare ocassion. I have to already be horny and desiring sex with men to want to be with men. Although once we're alone, I can shift gears real quickly to have sex with a man. But with women, the desire is constant. It's simply a different dance and it requires a great deal more attention and energy. It's because for me of the nature of the two. I know there are bisexual men who have had relationships with men other than only physical and become involved with them. I can't speak for them. My experience in bisexuality is limited in scope according to what it is. I simply don't have a desire to be involved with men emotionally and sexually though I don't ever say that it could never happen. But it's very unlikely. My yearning for the emotional/spiritual/sexual connection is with women. Everyone has their story and that's basically mine. As far as knowing when you are bisexual or that you are, I can't answer that very directly obviously with this long excursion into my personal history and preferences. But I will say that one way to know is to experiement. I never thought about it......it just moved through me. When I did think about it was when my hand was forced by others around me and the comments they made which finally made me question it. The best to all in their discoveries and on their journey.
I have really gone on and on here....too much personal information.