Cherokee_Mountaincat
Oct 24, 2009, 7:39 PM
Cowboy and Redneck rules and Cat logic
for--
Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, Utah, Idaho, Mississippi, Louisiana, certain parts of California and the rest of the chivalrous states are as
follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You
look like an idiot. (And if’n I get close enuff, they’s goin’ to yer ankles)
2. Turn your cap right, your head aint crooked. (Are you a Politian’s kid or what?)
3. Let's get this straight: it's
called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck
because I want to. No matter how slow you drive
you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or
get out the hell out of the way. (hey, sounds perfectly reasonable ta me)
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. (Smells like dinner to me)
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
like it? I-10 & I-40go east and west, I-17
& I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car.
We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are
driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West and the Southern states waves. It's called
being friendly. Try to understand the concept. (Its not as scary as you think it is)
7. If that cell phone rings while a
bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves
are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it
outta your hand. You better hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. (You
really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop for like a buck Ninety-five)
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. (And the op’ner is in my glove box in da truck)
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age. (And I’ll open the door for you men just ta look at yer butts)
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three
main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We
use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in
Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT
AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be
brown, wet and served
over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house,
she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a
truck, and have long hair.
14. Moon pies are a delicacy, and are not to be confused with Cow Patties. (If you get it wrong, you’re going to be Mighty disappointed…trust me!)
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit
the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We
don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see
your boxers! (Refer
back to #1!)
A true Westerner and Redneck Southerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all
about!!!
(Ya’ll have a nice day, ya hear?” :} ^..^
for--
Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, Utah, Idaho, Mississippi, Louisiana, certain parts of California and the rest of the chivalrous states are as
follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You
look like an idiot. (And if’n I get close enuff, they’s goin’ to yer ankles)
2. Turn your cap right, your head aint crooked. (Are you a Politian’s kid or what?)
3. Let's get this straight: it's
called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck
because I want to. No matter how slow you drive
you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or
get out the hell out of the way. (hey, sounds perfectly reasonable ta me)
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. (Smells like dinner to me)
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't
like it? I-10 & I-40go east and west, I-17
& I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car.
We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are
driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West and the Southern states waves. It's called
being friendly. Try to understand the concept. (Its not as scary as you think it is)
7. If that cell phone rings while a
bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves
are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it
outta your hand. You better hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. (You
really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop for like a buck Ninety-five)
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. (And the op’ner is in my glove box in da truck)
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age. (And I’ll open the door for you men just ta look at yer butts)
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three
main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We
use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in
Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT
AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be
brown, wet and served
over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house,
she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a
truck, and have long hair.
14. Moon pies are a delicacy, and are not to be confused with Cow Patties. (If you get it wrong, you’re going to be Mighty disappointed…trust me!)
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit
the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We
don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see
your boxers! (Refer
back to #1!)
A true Westerner and Redneck Southerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all
about!!!
(Ya’ll have a nice day, ya hear?” :} ^..^