Cherokee_Mountaincat
Oct 23, 2009, 4:37 PM
This is for my buddy, Show. (That'll teach him to park my truck under the doggone Mamosa tree!!) lol
Puns For the Educated Mind
> -------------------------
>
> 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
> to be an optical Aleutian.
>
> 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
>
> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
> was a weapon of math disruption.
>
> 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
> his work.
>
> 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
> 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>
> 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
> 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
>
> 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>
> 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
> looking into it.
>
> 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization..
>
> 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
> the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
>
> 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
>
> 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
>
> 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
> his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
>
> 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>
> 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't
> have the balls to do it.
>
> 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
> at large.
>
> 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
> veteran.
>
> 21. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your
> count that votes.
>
> 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Puns For the Educated Mind
> -------------------------
>
> 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
> He acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
> to be an optical Aleutian.
>
> 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
>
> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
> was a weapon of math disruption.
>
> 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
> his work.
>
> 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
> 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
>
> 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
> 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
>
> 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>
> 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
> looking into it.
>
> 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization..
>
> 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
> the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
>
> 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
>
> 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
>
> 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
> his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
>
> 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>
> 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't
> have the balls to do it.
>
> 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
> at large.
>
> 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
> veteran.
>
> 21. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your
> count that votes.
>
> 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.