Anonymous Sex

[JohnnyV]

Bathhouses, sex clubs, underground dungeons, rest areas, back alleys, parks ---

What are your feelings about these venues for anonymous sex? Does anyone have a thing for screwing with people you don't know? Anyone had really great experiences with it?

I've been to bathhouses and I liked them. I miss them, actually, because there was something really wild about not knowing someone's name, yet sharing intimacy like that. Half the time I talked and did nothing sexual. The other half, I caressed or j/o'd but did no anal.

Does anyone else here have positive vibes from anonymous sex? Or do you think it's gross?

J

[rupertbare]

Well, I don't think it's gross, just not my thing. It's the old adage - "to each his(her) own".

I've had just two "one-night" stands with people I din't know and they were both disastrous. Left me feeling "dirty" and, maybe oddly, ashamed of myself. Would never bother again.

On the other hand, sex in "public places" and/or places where one may be "caught" is a totally different matter. I have only (again!!??) two experiences of this - one when I was in my late teens and got caught by a passerby as I was "making out" with a girlfriend in a wood. The other was with my wife - and very exciting it was too!!

But "anonymous" sex - no not my thing at all.

I need some sort of "attachment" or "bonding" with someone first.

well that's my :2cents: !!

Rupe :)
London, UK

[Sparks]

It's not for me. Nor, is the bathouse scene. I prefer my male sex partners to be friends. Mind you that I'm not gay, for that implies (to me) an in love relationship. I, nevertheless, enjoy the homosexual side of my life. The open, friendly and casual side of two men sharing an intimate moment is what I enjoy. :2cents:

[ackjae01]

this is the only way to go for the closet guy...i wish i had the option of a

bath house or safe place to escape to open sexuality...being a bi even

women would be welcome but they are too hung up to do it..

[glantern954]

Part of me finds it gross, but another part is turned on by it. On a few occasions over the years I have exchanged a quick wank at the gym with an admirer. The wife tolerates this occasional behavior and it is a no strings disease-free way to release those urges as long as the situation doesn't escalate into a deep kissing, oral, or intercourse thing. That can be harder than it sounds when you are turned on, so be careful.

[cchalmer]

Anonymous sex?? One-night stands?? Do I enjoy them??? No. Have I engaged in them??? A few times.

When I was younger....read typical horny young male....I wasn't too fussy sometimes. If I found a willing partner then it was time to party. As I got older the few times anything like this happened it left me unsatisfied....both emotionally and physically.

As for sex in public??? Bring it on!!! If we get caught I hope they enjoy the show for awhile before "interupting" us....lol

[m.in.heels&hose]

I have frequented places that are known as pick up parks, its kind of exciting and kind of scary all at the same time, i do enjoy going to these places, and it seems to always be the same group of people who frequent these places, i have only "given head" while at these places, but someday i will have the courage to receive anal intercourse (safe of course) the problem with these places are that recently the police have been checking in on most of these places
and for anyone wondering, yes i do wear my heels and hose when i go to these places
i feel it tells the other guys what i am into and if they dont want a part of what im into they just past me by, and those who dont mind are the ones that approach me

:flag3: m.in.heels&hose

[JohnnyV]

Maybe I'm romanticizing it because I can't do it anymore... but I remember a giddy, uplifting feeling at bathhouses, lying naked next to someone I didn't know, confessing inner thoughts without fear, because I knew I'd never see him again. Ah well, I may have to say goodbye to that forever. :(

:rolleyes:

Love,
J

[ErosUrge]

Well, here goes my :2cents: ...... I happen to enjoy it quite a bit. I think that those of us who choose to be honest about it are often condemned and thrown to the dogs for it...which is unfair and it's also not nice to discrimnate against dogs either....lol...but seriously. I do understand the ramifications and reasons why people frown about such behavior; the most obvious of course for health reasons and rightly so. But..... for those who choose to enjoy it, we shouldn't be condemned for it. As long as we are honest about it and aren't deceiving nor hurting anyone else and ourselves, it is fine. If I had been asked about such behavior 10 and 15 years ago, you'd have found me to really be condemning of it. I could not picture myself in such moments though I felt an attraction to it. I was scared. I think too that the reason why some frown on it is again making judgements. There is no depth in such relations and very very seldom an opportunity for anything else to happen. It's just simply sex!!! Nothing more and nothing less. Sometimes it's very intense and sometimes not. The goal is sexual ecstasy and lust....which both can be a turn on....there's usually no history and usually no future though it's not always the case. So arriving at an orgy or a bathhouse is not about anything else except the joy of sex and that's all it needs to be. Of course one always has to take precautions and be sensible about safety. I have been so very fortunate that nothing has ever happened to put my health at risk. It's a matter of common sense in those moments of course. Some of us just simply enjoy this.... When I finally let my guard down, it was a major turn on. Of course, usually I prefer the more intimate situations with those who mean more to me.....with the ocassional excursion outside of my primary relation if I am in agreement with my significant other about it. But at this point in time there's no such person, so I am free to engage whenever the appetite so moves me..... :tongue:

[ketch1]

All I can say is that if you want AIDS that is sure way of finding it. Not for me! But to each, their own!

[Driver 8]

I don't know, Ketch - as Glantern pointed out, not all anonymous sex exposes you to HIV, even if your partner is positive.

[JohnnyV]

Ketch,

Yes, Driver 8 is right. It's not the anonymity of sex that exposes you to risk; it's the level of exposure in the acts you do commit. I would never do any anal sex with a man I didn't know (then again, I never do anal with anybody) with or without a condom. Oral sex is low risk but risky enough that I would avoid it with an unknown partner. But in my experience a lot of anonymous sex among men involves kissing, mutual masturbation, and body contact. Those are low risk activities.

Imagine this: if you had 5,000 sexual encounters with strangers, and each time, you only had j/o, kissing, and frottage, you have zero risk of getting HIV. But if you have sex with someone you're dating 1,000 times, and you have anal sex each time, but the other person is infected and hasn't told you so, then your chance of getting HIV is around 1 in 10. Even if you use condoms, your chose of getting HIV is around 1 in 100. Most people who get infected with HIV have had repeated exposures, often with the same person. And the trusting environment of a relationship can also be deadlier than the anonymous setting, when people will be more on guard.

Love,
J

[rumple4skin]

J,
I do not think it is gross nor have I gone to bathhouses or anonymous sex scenseI do not think it is gross nor have I gone to bathhouses or other anonymous sex scenes. I have had a one night stand. I enjoyed it “for the moment”. I did not find any big thrill there. I did not see anything wrong with it either. I just enjoy sex more when I know more about the person I am with.

[ambi53mm]

[QUOTE=ErosUrge] Some of us just simply enjoy this.... When I finally let my guard down, it was a major turn on. Of course, usually I prefer the more intimate situations with those who mean more to me/QUOTE]

Long before I began to explore my bisexuality, I came to the profound revelation that I am a "sexual being. It's easy to say "we're all sexual beings" but for me it's the energy that fuels and powers my soul. It has been and continues to be my dominant energy.
I have had the freedom to pusue this energy probably in ways many people would frown on. There's nothing more gratifying or rewarding than turning your wildest fantasies into reality. Like bisexuality "swinging" is a lifesyle as well, and it's huge with a growing membership full of people who enjoy sex for the sake of sex. Despite what people may think it takes courage on many levels to include but not limited to:social,psychological,physical,mental, and for some of us a spiritual journey as well. Is there risk? Yes of course and we probably better than anyone know those risks because we confront that asspect of our lifestyle everyday.
There are many on here that would love the opportunity to experience a MMF or MFF or MMFF or MFMF scenario but will never get beyond the fantasy because of fear....I agree with Eros's staement quoted above..and many of those we engage in sex with become more than just anonymous sex partners..sometimes relationships that extend way beyond sex do take place and those are the most rewarding...no jealosy..no drama...just pure passionate sensual lust LOL So what's not to like? :rolleyes:
:2cents:

Ambi

[Daviecurious]

To those who wish to engage in anonymous sex, good for you! I certainly understand the attraction; who hasn't seen a beautiful, sexy person and wanted immediate contact?
However, I personally feel that such contact reduces sex to a level that is basically one of a glorified hand job, and I feel the physical/emotional giving and trust of sexual contact deserves more. And thanks much for this site, it really has helped me a lot!!!!, and I appreciate all of the posts!

[APMountianMan]

I may be too cerebral for that kind of activity. Sex is never just physical for me. So, no, not into it.

:cool:

[JohnnyV]

However, I personally feel that such contact reduces sex to a level that is basically one of a glorified hand job!

Yes, I love to glorify hand jobs! I think we underestimate how artful and talented hand jobs can be, because we're so used to settling for bad ones!

Love,
J

[ambi53mm]

I may be too cerebral for that kind of activity. Sex is never just physical for me. So, no, not into it.

:cool:

The fact that it's anonymous doesn't mean that it's necessarily "Just physical". I guess from the outside looking in, it has that appearance..probably no different than watching a porno film because what's being viewed without being involved can only be seen as people involved in a physical activity. It's much more than that. When you tap into the kudalini (sex) energy you tap into the very core of the soul itself and it's as much about the giving of pleasure as it is about the taking.
There's a connection that transcends the physical and we all feel it at one point or another. Let's suppose you meet someone that's attracted your attention and that the attraction is mutual. Perhaps in a normal scenario you spend time getting to know that person going through the ritual of dating etc. The attraction/energy that drew you both together in the first place and sustained you through the "getting to know one another process" is a connection that's more than just physical. At some point the desire to take it to a physical level would be the next natural point in that connection. Here I think it gets into one's comfort zone. First date ..second date..third date...when the time to take that next step feels right for both..you take it.
When we engage in sex ...we've already established mutually that we enjoy sex and usually if there's no attraction or connection...then more than likely sex won't take place. What's it done to our primary relationship ( we are a married bi couple) is to take it to a level of depth that few couple can enjoy.

Respectfully
Ambi