Vent: can I really be bisexual...

[Indaco76]

if all I like in men is cock?
I've been pondering on this question for a long time. I've been in a relationship with a woman for more than two years. I love her dearly and I'm still as strongly attracted to her as day one, and she loves me and adores me in return.
I still do find men attractive, but when I honestly ask myself what I miss about them, all I can think of is cock. Even if I was single, I wouldn't want a relationship with a man, I mean, not a romantic one. It's like after being involved romantically with a woman and going through the initial phase where you are all confused by your hetero-related expectations, now I can no longer picture myself with a man besides me. I love every aspect of being with a woman: daily life, intimacy, sex, that special bond you create... All of it.
But my body misses cock. Not even a man or a masculine body, just the genitals... and not even for every "purpose": I hate being graphic, but as I said in other posts, all I miss is the feeling of penetration. No oral, no handjobs, nothing but that.
And this makes me feel bad!
I try to take it as it is and not to be too judgemental, but sometimes it is very difficult.
What am I? A partial bisexual? Just a sexually greedy woman? A lesbian who likes cock?
I hate this...
Sorry, but I had to vent.

[Realist]

Indico,

You're not the only one who ever felt that way. Years ago, I had a lady friend who had the same views as yours. We'd been platonic friends and confidants for years and had a few common interests, (We liked car races) but never were more than that.

Over coffee one time she explained that she didn't want a relationship, especially a romantic one, but hated having sex by herself. She loved intercourse, but did not want more. She was busy with her career and I was very busy, too. She proposed that we have sex on strictly a platonic level. I accepted her offer to be on call...whenever she felt the need. She'd call me and I'd either go to her, or she'd come to me. She would do the same for me.

Luckily, we both knew what the other one enjoyed, shared orgasms then, knowing there was no further commitment, we were free to go.

That relationship freed us from a lot of stress and expectations, while ensuring we had a reliable/safe source of release. It worked for us both; we respected and trusted each other, but the rest of our lives was our own.

[fredtyg]

I'd say if someone enjoys a same sex attraction- to whatever degree- they could consider themselves bisexual, if they chose to. If they chose not to, then that's their choice.

[Bi-Zarro]

Indaco,

don't worry about it.

Really, all these words -- gay, bi, straight -- are just shorthand. We're all individuals with very specific desires. The words shouldn't matter. You can call yourself by whatever label you please.

Lord knows at times I've wondered if I'm really "gay enough" to use The B Word. I know I'm not purely straight -- I've known that for a long time -- but I've not always been sure if my same-sex desires were really strong enough for it to make sense for me to label myself bisexual. I came to the conclusionsthat they were, or at least that if I continued to label myself straight -- as I did for most of my life -- I'd be lying.

I dunno if that helps at all, but it's what I can offer. Hope it's useful.

[just4mefc]

IMHO,

Bisexual has become the catch-all for "not straight but not gay" I am more trisexual myself... TRY anything (well just about) sexual. Romantically how ever I have only been attracted to women. Don't get be wrong I love SEX with other men, all kinds of sex! In fact I have no limits what so ever but it's really just sex. I use the term Bisexual for the comfort of others. I am really not a label person. I like what and who I like. I don't like all women nor all men. So the label of "Bi" just means your gender is not an automatic qualifier nor disqualifier. I think you are... YOU... a normal human who likes what she likes and I hope you have access to your wants and desires. As long as your partner is informed of who you are then all is good. Have fun enjoy being the sexually honest non-labeled person you are. Now if your partner is not aware and you partake in a cock here and there well that is for YOU to figure out and I reckon a bit off topic.

Just my two cents.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Sigh...some people's children. :rolleyes:
Cat

[roy m cox]

Sigh...some people's children. :rolleyes:
Cat

"YUP" :bigrin:

[Indaco76]

Indaco you sound like a dyke to me and you do not sound like a bisexual woman at all.

Do you like having your vagina flooded with hot sperm?

Do you enjoy other types of sex with men like having a man give you oral sex or kiss you or titty fuck you? Or anal sex with a man? Do you like to suck a man's cock? Would you let a man penetrate you with his fingers or fist you?

Do you like FFM/MMF 3 ways or want them?

Maybe it is time for your girlfriend to get a silicone strapon and use that on you?

Or do what some butch dykes do where they pretend to be a man during sex, when everyone knows that it's a farce of actual masculinity and that she's a woman and not a man?

Dear Isitallovermyface,
I am not here to discuss what I do or don't like to do with men in bed in such detail, much less be open to suggestions about my private life with my partner by someone who says he understands who I am without even knowing me.
However, I DO like to so some of the things you mentioned above. Some of them are absolutely yummy to me, some not. Which is enough to me to be quite sure I'm no repressed dyke. I'd love to be one, actually, but the truth is, I like men to some extent.
Anyway, I keep wondering why such a pure gay man like you comes to visit us so regularly. Are you trying to convert us?
:bigrin:

[Indaco76]

Dear all,
thanks for your replies. I do feel better today and I'm sorry for the vent post... It's just hard sometimes.
I'm glad I found this site, it's really a blessing in moments like these. I guess all I need to hear is that I'm ok just the way I am, and when it comes from people who understand what I'm going through it's even more precious.
Thanks again...
Hugs,
Indaco

[Gay2Bi]

Well, I think I've found my female counterpart. :) I'm both emotionally and extremely sexually attracted to men, but I've been finding myself drawn to women more and more. It's not a romantic attraction, it's more of a desire to experience sex with a woman. I don't know where it came from since I'd never had any interest - beyond friendship - up until just a few years ago, and then it took me up until a few months ago to get over all of those homo-expecatations and admit that I might - just might - have some heterosexual urges lurking in there somewhere.

So I understand you when you say your interest in men is all about genitals, because it seems like my interest in women is the same. But I also agree with all of the other posters: labels aren't very useful when it comes to human sexuality, and "bisexual" is a very broad catch-all category that covers everything from the exclusively hetero man who has the odd fantasy about his best guy friend to the people (like us) who are sexually attracted to the opposite gender only in a limited physical sense.

I guess the best label for me is no label, because there doesn't seem to be one that captures the unique blend of romantic, emotional, and sexual impulses I feel. Calling myself bi does let my potential (male) romantic partners know that occasionally I do think about sex with a woman, but at the same time, it can also imply that I might choose a relationship with a woman over one with a man, which can create the wrong expectations in both men and women - and cost me dates with hot guys! :rolleyes: I just wish it were possible to get by in the world without a label, but that might be even more confusing. ;)

[diget]

you can be bi and still prefer one sex over the other. if you are attracted to both sex's and you are willing to have sex with both then you are bi.:bigrin: