First post, Just told my LTR gf about coming to terms with being bi.

[guyinmass]

Here is my life story...

So weve been dating for 6 years, living together for about one. Practically married at this point! We met in college. I have not been with a man since I met her many years ago, I am 28 now. I would never cheat on my gf.

At some point in my life, I thought sleeping with men was just a phase for me, so why would I need to tell anyone? At the time I was in college and it was simply easier to find horny men to sleep with in between dating women!

But now that apparently I am being honest with myself for the first time, I am clearly totally bi. I have slept with a bunch of guys when I was younger as well as girls, and loved both, was never into cuddling or kissing a man, just sex! Total bottom :) I would say 60% attracted to women, 40% to men, and I am much more picky when it comes to men :)

Now a few months ago, while my gf was drunk, she was talking about her own bi-fantasy. This really turned her on at the time, thinking of herself being with another woman, we had a great time that night!
I wanted to tell her right then, shout from the rooftops! I am BI! But i did not have the courage... A few days later she did not want to discuss her fantasy again, seemed to bother her if I brought it up when she was not drunk...

That is until yesterday. I laid it all out... I got the courage to tell her what I did before we met. I told her I have slept with men, that I am attracted to men, that I saw a guy at work earlier in the week that I thought was so hot.
We had a few painfull conversations throughout the day I told her everything I had bottled up for so long.

It was tough, and I feel and felt guilty for not telling her sooner, but honestly, I did not really come to terms with this until recently, I was simply hiding it from myself all these yars, even though I fantasized about men as well as about woman. I thought I could control it and lead a normal man/woman relationship without admitting that my bisexuality even existed.

She was freaked out at first, cried a lot, laughed at times, thought it was sexy later in the evening and it turned her on, being with another guy even, then cried again before we went to bed...

This morning when we woke, everything was ok, but I can tell she is still contemplating things and feels betrayed.

The positive thing for me is, I feel GREAT!!! I have never told a man or woman about the other side of me, and I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from my chest. My fear, is that she cannot deal with it, my hope is that she can... I really love her as a person. I really love being honest with myself for a change.

This is my first post, great forum! thanks for the support ahead of time...

-Finally proud to be bi

[dickhand]

Welcome to the site and I hope she can accept it too . Honesty is the best policy !

[mrplayfuluk]

Your relationship is now going to end since you did not tell her when you first met her.

You should have been honest with her from the start.


Excuse but that is hardly the information he needs from you, this site is about being supportive. Do you always think half empty... You don't know anything about the relationship apart from what you've been told.

[guyinmass]

Your relationship is now going to end since you did not tell her when you first met her.

You should have been honest with her from the start.

I was not even being honest with myself back then, so...

If your right, its her loss, not mine and I will be honest next time around...

Thanks for the support, haha...

[Realist]

Welcome, Guy

There really are some great folks here. There's a nut, or two, also. (as you can see) Take what you need and ignore the rest.

You did what was the right thing for you. And, if you GF really loves you, maybe she'll get over this and relax. I hope, if you really lover her, too, that she'll hang in there.

My GF is bi and I can tell her anything.....so, I understand what it's like to have someone you can reveal your deepest secrets to.....and still love and accept you.

Good luck!

[onewhocares]

Just wanted to say welcome from another from the Bay State. I do not think that you to feel bad about what you did or did not say to your girlfriend. It was the right thing at the right time for YOU. Enough said. Everyone comes to terms with things differently. Until it was right for you, I think you did the right thing.

I am glad you found this site. It is a source of information and support, of answers and of question we never think to ask. Please encourage your girlfriend to come also. I am the straight wife of a bi man and I have found this site a great haven.

If your girlfriend wants someone local to chat with, I would be happy to.

Belle

[mrplayfuluk]

Quintus, Azrael, or was it Tom from Maryland? give it a rest, Drew will have have you deleted by tomorrow. The poor man must have repetitive strain injury from having to keep deleting your profiles. hahahaha...

[mrplayfuluk]

haha you remind me of the playground, are you really over 18?

[mikey3000]

Big step for you. Congradulations! Being honest with yourself feels good, eh? I hope she can accept it, but if not, better you find out now. I know cause I just went through the same thing.

Good for you!

[networktech]

my wife knows about my past, loves it at one point and time, doesn't the next. at least you told her and you feel better about your self. If she loves you, she will except you. Good luck

[chook]

OneWhoCares is a total blood sucker and totally fake and someone who you should watch out for.

Her kindness and friendliness are HUGE red flags and she is not to be trusted at all!

These people like her prey on the weak and are not your "Friends".

Is there no end to this FUCKING IDIOT!!!!


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[TaylorMade]

Here is my life story...

So weve been dating for 6 years, living together for about one. Practically married at this point! We met in college. I have not been with a man since I met her many years ago, I am 28 now. I would never cheat on my gf.

At some point in my life, I thought sleeping with men was just a phase for me, so why would I need to tell anyone? At the time I was in college and it was simply easier to find horny men to sleep with in between dating women!

<cutting this because bandwidth is expensive. It's not personal.> *T*

You know what? You did what you were supposed to do. You didn't cheat, you didn't stray, and you refused to drive yourself insane with a secret that can't be satisfied. :) If she can't handle it, then you can wash your hands clean, cry and mourn knowing you did the right thing. If she can, here's hoping you two grow together.

If more bisexual men could be like you... sexually speaking, the world would be a more livable place.

I went to church today, hence why I'm just a freaking ray of sunshine and junk.

*Taylor*

[gfofbiguy]

Great that you were able to be honest with yourself and honest with your girlfriend. I hope that she will come to accept you.....Maybe you would like to steer her to this website if she would like to talk to others to understand you better. My b/f is bi and I'm str8 and I found this website to be a great help in getting to understand my b/f better (I "met" my b/f online and he told me he was bi before we met face-to-face, which I was glad about, as I was able to make a more informed decision; however, I think I would have stayed even if he didn't tell me until several years into our relationship - especially if he was just figuring it out now himself). Also there are a few online support groups for people who are in mixed orientation relationships/marriages and if you'd like their info, PM me and I'll send it along to you. We're also members of a couple of them and find that they are a great support as well.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you both!

~~Gfofbiguy

[guyinmass]

You know what? You did what you were supposed to do. You didn't cheat, you didn't stray, and you refused to drive yourself insane with a secret that can't be satisfied. :) If she can't handle it, then you can wash your hands clean, cry and mourn knowing you did the right thing. If she can, here's hoping you two grow together.

If more bisexual men could be like you... sexually speaking, the world would be a more livable place.


Great that you were able to be honest with yourself and honest with your girlfriend. I hope that she will come to accept you.....Maybe you would like to steer her to this website if she would like to talk to others to understand you better. My b/f is bi and I'm str8 and I found this website to be a great help in getting to understand my b/f better....

Thank you so much for the support everyone, (even beserkers twisted support), Those last 3 posts really helped a lot.

She is doing fine today, almost back to normal, she spent yesterday with her family, but she is back at home today, just got back fromt he gym and I think everything is going to be fine.


my wife knows about my past, loves it at one point and time, doesn't the next. at least you told her and you feel better about your self. If she loves you, she will except you. Good luck

Hopefully our loved ones can love everything about us without feeling weird or disgusted! I think everything is going to work out...

[onewhocares]

Thank you so much for the support everyone, (even beserkers twisted support), Those last 3 posts really helped a lot.

She is doing fine today, almost back to normal, she spent yesterday with her family, but she is back at home today, just got back fromt he gym and I think everything is going to be fine.



Hopefully our loved ones can love everything about us without feeling weird or disgusted! I think everything is going to work out...


SO happy for the BOTH of you! Just take things one day at a time and talk and LOVE each other.

Belle

[JP1986UM]

I've read this thread and would like to add something:

Get to a couples counselor who deals with Mixed Orientation relationships. That can be the greatest thing in the world.

As an out bisexual male, I have been married for 18 yrs and out for 1. It has been a roller coaster. Along the way, our therapist has been of enormous support to assist us in making our marriage work. We have kids, so its vital to remain that way and I do. I love my wife and partner in life so very much at times it hurts. However, I also have an uncontrollable libido for great looking men too. Its in addition to my love for her. Not a replacement.

I hope you'll both take time to discuss what it means to you and then listen to what she says very carefully. Listen to her, love her, comfort her and then remind her YOU ARE NOT LEAVING for another man. She needs reassurance her new reality is a continuum, not a beginning of an end. Tell her you are still you, but parts of you she didn't know about just had to come out.

I am happy for you that you came out so much earlier. You won't be so depressed when you are older and can't figure out why. So many married bisexual men live lives of doubt and depression because of who they are and yet want to deny it.

All the best.

[drwilsontx]

Here is my life story...

So weve been dating for 6 years, living together for about one. Practically married at this point! We met in college. I have not been with a man since I met her many years ago, I am 28 now. I would never cheat on my gf.

At some point in my life, I thought sleeping with men was just a phase for me, so why would I need to tell anyone? At the time I was in college and it was simply easier to find horny men to sleep with in between dating women!

But now that apparently I am being honest with myself for the first time, I am clearly totally bi. I have slept with a bunch of guys when I was younger as well as girls, and loved both, was never into cuddling or kissing a man, just sex! Total bottom :) I would say 60% attracted to women, 40% to men, and I am much more picky when it comes to men :)

Now a few months ago, while my gf was drunk, she was talking about her own bi-fantasy. This really turned her on at the time, thinking of herself being with another woman, we had a great time that night!
I wanted to tell her right then, shout from the rooftops! I am BI! But i did not have the courage... A few days later she did not want to discuss her fantasy again, seemed to bother her if I brought it up when she was not drunk...

That is until yesterday. I laid it all out... I got the courage to tell her what I did before we met. I told her I have slept with men, that I am attracted to men, that I saw a guy at work earlier in the week that I thought was so hot.
We had a few painfull conversations throughout the day I told her everything I had bottled up for so long.

It was tough, and I feel and felt guilty for not telling her sooner, but honestly, I did not really come to terms with this until recently, I was simply hiding it from myself all these yars, even though I fantasized about men as well as about woman. I thought I could control it and lead a normal man/woman relationship without admitting that my bisexuality even existed.

She was freaked out at first, cried a lot, laughed at times, thought it was sexy later in the evening and it turned her on, being with another guy even, then cried again before we went to bed...

This morning when we woke, everything was ok, but I can tell she is still contemplating things and feels betrayed.

The positive thing for me is, I feel GREAT!!! I have never told a man or woman about the other side of me, and I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted from my chest. My fear, is that she cannot deal with it, my hope is that she can... I really love her as a person. I really love being honest with myself for a change.

This is my first post, great forum! thanks for the support ahead of time...

-Finally proud to be bi

My first post too. My current gf is the first I ever told. We have talked a lot discussed my bi tendencies, she is understanding, patient and loving to a fault. I have no regrets telling her and in fact I no longer engage in risky behavior,,, I get the urge we talk and solve the urges together "Safely" she finds it hot and it is just another aspect of our sex life. she loves to watch me give another guy a bj, except now it's a little safer for me and her. As long as your honest and willing to talk about it, nothing but good things can happen

[hopeful412]

I am the female partner of a bi guy who came out to me over a year ago, I think I am more confused than ever about this whole thing...so many questions. We have explored this aspect of him...right now I am not ok?

[hopeful412]

When I watch him give another guy a bj I feel inferior, jealous, confused, etc. He said at one point he wished I had a d___ so I could come in his mouth. He is not gay he says, and is not interested in any other form of sex w/ a man. He is not interested in TV or TG either. He says he has not cheated on me...but after he first told me of all this and asked if I was willing to watch him he later went to MT to visit a family member. He gave a bj to a guy in a park restroom, is that not cheating? He said it was just an opportunity he took, nothing more. I feel angry and betrayed, he didn't give me time to adjust or find my way in all this, I think it was selfish and hurtful.

[Realist]

Hopeful,

I have a GF, who also happens to be bi. I love her and respect her and we never do anything with anyone else without discussing it, first.

She is my first and foremost concern. She is never demanding, or jealous, but, I feel a responsibility to be honest and open with her about things like this. I also feel that if neither of us should have sex with a person who we do not know extremely well and trust!

I think (and this is just my opinion based on knowing almost nothing about you, or your BF) that he is on a path to self destruction! He will take you with him, if he has anonymous contact with ONE person, who has a transmittable disease!

If you were smart, you'd go get yourself tested and never, ever, have sex with him again!

If he truly loved you, he would do anything he can to prevent you from being in harm's way!

[mikey3000]

When I watch him give another guy a bj I feel inferior, jealous, confused, etc. He said at one point he wished I had a d___ so I could come in his mouth. He is not gay he says, and is not interested in any other form of sex w/ a man. He is not interested in TV or TG either. He says he has not cheated on me...but after he first told me of all this and asked if I was willing to watch him he later went to MT to visit a family member. He gave a bj to a guy in a park restroom, is that not cheating? He said it was just an opportunity he took, nothing more. I feel angry and betrayed, he didn't give me time to adjust or find my way in all this, I think it was selfish and hurtful.

Oh Wow Hopeful. That is really rough. If I were you, I'd take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship. Being bi and acting on those urges is one thing, but flaunting them and throwing his slutty behaviour in your face is another. He must discuss stuff with you before/during/after to see how you feel. And that's where you decide how much you want to know about what he does (if at all). It sounds like there's a little respect lacking. Time for you to think. Good luck.