How to make society more accepting?

[PeterH]

Hi everybody,

This thread is inspired by a thread called Bisexuals are more needy,
started by Bibiologist, who wanted (a.o.) more scientiffic insight into who we are, beacuse he thinks it will make society more accepting
He also feels that some more scientific understanding about what bisexuality is will help in that. And I feel that he's right. This might not help to convince everybody, but it will help convince some and it's an important part of the process, but not all of it.
So what is needed to convine people that being bi is ok?

The things that I feel are needed are:

1) the science
Bibiologist suggested that being monogamous is a bit like a pair of shoes that doesn't quite fit (for a full illustration, see his thread). Is monogamy for a bisexual basically being half celibate? I really want to know. I have strong morals, but I don't expect myself to be celibate, also not half-celibate, nor do I think society expects it of me.
But perhaps being bi is not so much not fitting one pair of shoes. Perhaps it's more like needing a pair with a very particular fit?
So is it needing two different shoes, or just a very particular pair? Could I be happy with a woman who has some masculine character traits, perhaps, or a man more feminine traits? I can find that out for me myself, but to have arguments to convince society, science is needed.
What are the important scientific questions to answer?

2) getting rid of the stereotypes.
I think the best way to get rid of the sstereotypes is to have role-models. Well known people that people know that have come out as bi.
E.g., when I outed myself to my mom, part of what made her accept it is that she knows and likes a TV personality named Jos Brink who is gay, a pastor in church and who has been having a steady boyfriend for years and years. Thank you Jos Brink. Unfortunately he is gay and I am bi and I know of no one who is bi that my parents could like.
Bisexual people choose different lifestyles and to make people accept they need to see that and think: this person is actually just like me, he or she is just different in his attractions.

3) coming out
The more we have people who are out, the more role models there are.
Those of us who dare to do so, need to come out. We will never make people accept when we stay invisible.

4) Find something to rally around
There is strength in numbers, so we need to unite. We can only unite if we have a common goal, something to rally around. What is it that we want?

5) marketing
We have to sell the idea that being bi is ok. We will not convince people if they do not hear from us. We have to out bisexuality as something that is ok.
Because everybody thinks it's all about sex, it should be easy to get people interested (sex sells). We need a good, positive, story to tell people. What story are we going to tell? What should be the slogan?

6 - 10) everything I forgot
I probably have forgotten some things so I hope people will contribute

So if you have anything to contribute to any of the above points, please do!
I look forward to your posts,

Peter

[searchingbrian]

Peter, this is pretty "heady" stuff. Maybe this should be expanded into a featured article???

[codybear3]

Hey peterh...Just wanna let you know that bibiologist is female...And I really don't think anyone in the world has a problem with gays, lezzies, trannys. or bisexuals...Just the homophobes out there...And I really don't think that giving them any kind of concrete-anything is gonna change thier minds... :2cents:

[PeterH]

Hi Cody, Brian,

Thank you for replying. You have given interesting replies, and totally different.

To bibiologist: I'm sorry to have mistaken you for a man, My apologies.
It might not matter to me whether you're male or female ( :) ), but to you it does.

Brian: I thank you for the compliment that you think it's stuff for an article. Perhaps it would be some time. Even then, I'd like to wait for some responses, which could then be incorporated in an article. Having read Cody's reply reinforced that idea.

Cody: I see you feel there is no reason to out bisexuality more than it is already. You don't think it will change anybody's mind. You might even think that speaking out will just give some people more ammunition. I can see a point in that. I'm going to take your response very seriously, not just as a 2 cents worth opinion, because I feel this is a serious issue. I hope you'll take the time to read this, and respond to it, however briefly.

I think educating people will make them more accepting. 100 years ago, people were put in jail for acting as gays in some countries. Now, in some of the same countries, gay people can get married. I don't think these changes happened because everybody stayed silent.
I think it is important to come out of the closet. So let me explain some of the reasons why. Most of them are very personal:
If bisexuality had been more accepted, I would have realized much earlier that I was bi and been able to live my life differently. I have a feeling that it's seriously influenced my love life. When I decided to be bi, i didn't even know what lifestyle I wanted anymore. In the end I just invented one and put it up here in a thread, to ask people if they think it would work! Also, I always believed in monogamy. Now, I'm not even sure if that is a reasonable thing to demand of myself anymore.
Also: I hate having to be in a closet, having to feel ashamed of who I am. I also don't like feeling scared about telling people that I'm bi, afraid of how they'll react. If we don't speak out now, others will continue going through these fears. Also, when being bi were more accepted, i don't think my mum would have suggested to me that I stay single for the rest of my life. That really hurt. I don't think my mum is that homophobic, nor that she doesn't love me. I think she just doesn't understand. She more or less accepted it now, but I have a lot of explaining to do, and even I don't have all the answers! And i think that most people are like that. Most just don't understand. I have stood up for my gay friend when people attacked homosexuality. I felt they attacked my friend. I will now stand up for myself, and others like me.
Being gay is now more or less socially accepted in this country, but straight is still the norm. Being bi is just not talked about. When I first said to my parents that some people are bi, they responded with 'that's nonsense'. I think that's a typical reaction: you're either gay or straight, and that's it.
I think homophobia (including biphobia) has a lot to do with ignorance. I think people need to be educated. I think being straight should stop being the norm. I think it should become normal to start discussing different sexualities with children at a very young age. Children of about 3 or 4 start to understand the concept of love. It's easy to tell them then that you can either fall in love with a boy, with a girl, or both.
We're not at that stage yet, but we need to get there. Even most gay people still go through a coming out. I don't see why that should remain to be necessary. If people accept the variety, being straight stops being the norm and that will make a big difference for all of us.
Coming out to society is going to be scary. People will attack us. Some of the attacks will be nasty, and way below the belt. But I think there is no shame in being who I am. It's ok to be bi, and I want that to be understood by as many people as possible. When anouncing the lunar landings project, John F Kennedy said: We don't want to do these things because they are easy, we want to do them because they are hard. Well my guess is that this is going to be hard.
Cody, I'm sorry you feel differently to what I do. I hope we can come to some sort of an agreement, because if we don't unite, this will never take off. I hope you'll come aboard on this trip, in any form that you can and feel comfortable with. I don't like many of the things I went through already. I'm sure you've gone through some pretty bad things as well. I think everybody here has. I can't change what's happened to me, but I can do some things to prevent others from having to go through the same things I did. I hope you feel the same way. I hope everybody here does.
Cody, I thank you for replying to my thread and look forward to more of your posts,

PeterH

[BiBiologist]

Bravo, Peter! Well said!