Children who grow up to be...

[BeautifullyBi]

So, I knew when I was eight that I was bi, before Websters even acknowledged that bisexual is a word with a definition. Now my daughter is eight and she is, without question, bisexual.

When did you realize that your children were going to grow up as gay/lesbian/bisexual? What did you do to enable them to understand, acknowledge and accept who they are? What are your experiences with your children, in terms of their coming to terms with their sexuality?

BeautifullyBi

[chicagom]

Like any father (I guess) I told my kids to let me know things when things came up...including sexual things. They know more than I did when I was their age, as I'm sure thier kids will. But like all kids, they would NEVER talk about sex with me. It's more about their peers....and what they see on TV and the net. All I know is, sexuality is everyone's own business, to share or not as they choose. They know nothing about that part of my life, no matter who I choose to share that with. It doesn't mean I don't want them asking questions they may have. I just assume they won't.

[mikey3000]

I have a hard time understanding how a child at eight years old even knows what a bisexual is, let alone acknowledging that they are one. Now I have two daughters, age 11 and 7, and although I too was around 10 when I had my first same sex experience, labelling a childs sexuality would be the furthest thing from my mind. I just let them know that it's ok for someone to love either the opposite sex or the same sex. I don't make an issue of it at all and let nature takes it course without anyinfluence from me at all. :2cents:.

[Realist]

Beautifulbi,

I never had children. But, if I did, I would do like my GF....... She tells her two kids as openly and honestly as she can, when they ask even the most controversial questions. She feels that if you don't make a big deal out of something, that it won't become a psychological temptation for them. It's only natural for people to try things they aren't supposed to do. I'm a prime example of that!

I know, when I was a kid, EVERYTHING was bad! I was watched closely and my mother, especially, hovered over me like an old hen. I was given so many rules that it was impossible to keep up with them!

When I was 14, I finally began to break away from her control, by being sneaky, lying and devious. That attitude caused me two marriages and many heart aches, until I finally realized that I was heading down the tubes to oblivion in a hurry. I tried to live one life for everyone else and one for myself...believe me, that does NOT work!

If I'd been taught the truth, maybe I could have handled myself and my life, with more intelligence and had more successes with love and relationships.

I'm finally at a place I should have been in my teens, as far as being open and honest. It's been a long and painful road and I believe it could have been avoided if my parents could have only been realistic and truthful with me. I guess it's really not their fault, that's the way they were raised, too!

[roy m cox]

i knew every since kindergarten i was always liked both.

and sadly i can't have any children i have been poisoned by heavy metals so im fixed :( but i know if i did have any children and if they wear gay/lesbian/bisexual id love them just the same :)

:bipride::bipride::bipride::bipride:

[matterinhand]

I'll start this by saying that the day my non-identical twin daughters were born I promised them that whatever they were when they grew up I would always love them.
I didn't put it that simply, I went through all the different things they could be: fat, thin, clever, slow, gay, bi, hetero, etc.

BUT, and I risk upsetting some people here, I honestly don't think you can classify a child sexually until they have tried sexual experiences.
Yes, there's the old cliche of the very effeminate boy being thought 'gay', or the very butch girl being 'a dyke' (horrible phrase), but my personal opinion is that until you've experienced both sexes and enjoyed it, you cannot really call yourself biSEXUAL.
Until then you're just open to being friends with both sexes.

[TaylorMade]

I'll start this by saying that the day my non-identical twin daughters were born I promised them that whatever they were when they grew up I would always love them.
I didn't put it that simply, I went through all the different things they could be: fat, thin, clever, slow, gay, bi, hetero, etc.

BUT, and I risk upsetting some people here, I honestly don't think you can classify a child sexually until they have tried sexual experiences.
Yes, there's the old cliche of the very effeminate boy being thought 'gay', or the very butch girl being 'a dyke' (horrible phrase), but my personal opinion is that until you've experienced both sexes and enjoyed it, you cannot really call yourself biSEXUAL.
Until then you're just open to being friends with both sexes.

This. . . I wasn't sure I was bisexual till I first had sex with a woman. I thought I was gay because men weren't attracted to me, despite me being attracted to them.

*Taylor*

[Shhhhh 47/F/usa]

An eight year old child? Really??? For pete's sake, give 'em a chance to grow up just a little bit more before pegging their sexual orientation. Sheesh!

[alex_d]

WELL SAID, SHHHHH!!!!!!!

[Vikkster230]

That's interesting that I ran across this forum today... I was at the library with my 10 year old daughter and she told me out of the blue that sometime she likes to act like a girly girl and sometimes like a boy. It doesn't matter what their orientation is, I just want them to be confident, happy, loving, responsible adults who make sound choices... Just thought it was interesting that she said it that way.

[Realist]

Since my first memories, I have been attracted to both genders, but my parents, preachers, opinionated people and even peers, ranting and raving about the evils of "deviates" kept me deeply ensconced in the closet. I thought I was a bad person, sick and evil, because of my desires.

It took me a long time to realize that I was NOT a bad person and that I've spent most of my life not being who I was, because of others' dogma.

Actually, coming here last year has helped me more than I can say. You people have had a profound impact on my life. Meeting my GF, who is also bi and has dealt with many of these same issues, has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

To those who helped, thanks.

[Leader233]

I was 14 when I had my first bi experience and knew at 12 that guys were cute.

[BLCHGK777]

OK well one thing I have to wonder is what makes you think your 8 yr old is bi? I can see you feeling that you found out yourself around that age but how would you know about your child? I can see if you asked your kid and her response made you think that but otherwise I think that would kind of hard... I don't know since I don't have kids. Also when it comes to little girls what may seem like same sex attractions maybe just be them being little girls. Girls tend to form bonds so close that they can be stronger than ANY marriage so I think you should also take that into consideration. :smilies15

[DiamondDog]

So, I knew when I was eight that I was bi, before Websters even acknowledged that bisexual is a word with a definition.

The term bisexual has been around and used by people to describe their sexuality/someone else's sexuality for a lot longer than you have been alive and that goes for the dictionary definition as well.

Let's just put it this way, my mom knew about me from when I was very young and I was not a sissy, fey, or one of those boys that is very in touch with his feminine side.

Even then she did not impose anything on me or say that I was this or that or whatever since it's my life. You should do the same for your daughter no matter what she discovers she is.

[TheDream]

At 8 she's only really just touching on her feelings for everyone and I don't think you can have a sexual preference at that age. The reason kids might seem bi around this time though is because they really don't care about gender or sex separation. Kids at that age are old enough not to go "yuck boys/girls" but not old enough to say "I want a relationship with Boy/Girl"....

The reason you might have thought that you knew you was bi is simple. At that age you didn't care whether someone was a boy or girl and when you hit puberty and grew up you found you loved both which may seem like nothing really changed since you was little.

If you get me? It sounds better in my head, lol.

[rissababynta]

An eight year old child? Really??? For pete's sake, give 'em a chance to grow up just a little bit more before pegging their sexual orientation. Sheesh!

I kind of have to agree. The poor girl more than likely (I know sometimes it happens a bit early) close to puberty. To be sitting here discussing what she likes sexually or romantically is kind of strange and in a way a little sick...