Married Bisexuals

[ichristian11]

Hey there. I just found this site. I am curious if there are bisexual men and women out there who are married to straight spouses and open to them. I’d be interested in talking more about it.

[networktech]

Yes, Im bisexual and my wife is straight. She knows of my past and accepts it. Most of the time it turns her on in the bed room.

[fredtyg]

I'm married and my wife knows but is kind of in denial. For instance; one time she was commenting on two homo guys that owned the house across the street. She said something once along the lines of, "I bet those two are going inside to go screw each other now. I bet you want to watch, huh?". I replied, "Watch? Heck, I'll join in...". She looks at me all disgusted.

Another time, she referred to one of her brother- in- laws derisively: "I think he's a bisexual". She didn't say it in a nice manner. I had to wonder what she thought of me being a homo?

Then again, she tolerates my dongs and me stuffing them up my ass on occasion (haven't done that in a while, though). I got the feeling she wasn't all that happy about it but I ordered some rainbow (Pride) colored undies the other day. She didn't say anything, but I got the feeling she didn't really like that.

She also joined me in voting NO on Prop 8- that anti- gay marriage initiative on the ballot in California last year- and she's from a very religious anti- homo family. I kind of wondered if she felt a little embarrassed around her family because of the NO on 8 sign I'd placed in our yard? I'll give her credit for that.

Oh well. Not perfect, but I can somewhat be myself around her. As good as she is about it, I always wonder if things would of worked out better if I married someone that was bisexual or lezzie so my bi/ homosexuality would of been fully accepted all along.

[detroitebonybi]

My husband just found out that I am bisexual and he wondered why wouldn't I tell him I basically told him that I was afraid of how he would look at me, he kissed me and said that there is nothing wrong with who I am or my sexual status. Every since I told him I am bisexual our sex life has been explosive and wonderful. Maybe coming out and telling the one you love about your status can be a good thing!

[_Joe_]

/me raises hand.

And boy what a clusterfuck mind job it can be at times

* sigh *

[fredtyg]

Maybe coming out and telling the one you love about your status can be a good thing!

In most cases it probably is. Heck, maybe it is in all cases. If he or she doesn't like it and dumps you, or divorces you because of it, maybe that's a good thing?

And, yes, I'm serious. Can you imagine spending your whole life trying to hide a big part of yourself from the one you live with? I did for many years. It wasn't an absolute nightmare, but life would have been much better if I wasn't hiding. I'm still hiding some things about being a homo (like how I do look for sex with men, on occasion), but some is better than hiding it all.

[FalconAngel]

My wife knew that I was bi long before we got married. She's okay with it.

[SJ37AndSteph]

i am a bi wife married to a straight man i told him when we had been dating at that time for a month i figured hes going to be apart of my life that i wanted everything out i didnt want to keep any secrets with him . He told me he was ok with who i was and accepted me for who and what i am. but we both agreed even though i am bisexual i will not invite other men to our bed nor be with other men its just a rule we have . i can have the woman though just no men which i see his point as well. i have been bisexual since i was 14 so its awesome to have such a understanding hubby like i have..

[NakedInSeattle]

My wife knows and enjoys it. We sometimes share a guy and I've even shown her that she's a bit bi herself and comfy with it all.

[ryanreg]

I am bisexual and my wife knows about it and actually encourages to meet up with a buddy of mine.

[bisocialnudist]

Im totally open about my bisexuality and my sexual attraction to men with my wife and anyone else who cares and in some cases those who dont LOL. My world didnt come crashing down in fact coming out was the best thing I have ever done for myself. (Caution -coming out was great for me but each situation is different, I have seen more then a few marriages go up in flames after disclosure so as they say your mileage may vary)

It took me 52 years but it is very freeing to openly live my life with total acceptance of who I am. It took a lot of patience and communication but together we worked through the details and now my wife and I are happier then ever together.

Mark

[terri]

i too am married and my wife now knows that i have a strong desire to be with a man . she is totally cool with it and has even tried to help in that endevour. was with a man only once when i was young . i enjoyed it and would very much like to try it again. she understands that .
terry

[Realist]

Coming out to my ex, who I loved deeply, ruined our marriage. Many, who I thought were my friends followed her.

In my case, even though I was not sexually active with anyone else, coming out caused me to lose my home, family and many friends. I was way too old to be alone. Doing what I thought was the right thing made me realize that the old saying, "let a sleeping dog lay" never made more sense! In my case, it really was the wrong thing to do!

Regardless, in the long-run, things have turned out pretty well. I have a remarkable bi girlfriend, who understands me and loves me regardless of my past.

Although I've lost most of my savings and many material things, I have less baggage, now. If I choose to, I can have a male lover, or a female. If my GF is interested, she can join in. My only requirement is to be open and honest and safe.

[Falke]

Actually, it was my then girlfriend, now wife who helped me sort things out to discover that I was bi. With that, it's all about trust, our ground rules are only people we both know, and I am only free to go after guys. Of course, I check with her before doing anything and if she isn't there for the fun I tell her about it afterwords. This usually leads to me being tackled and having a second round! :bigrin:

[Lisa (va)]

My husband is aware of my past and I dated women as well as men before him: But being bi doesn't rule out monogamy, just have to use your mind and be creative.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[BeautifullyBi]

My ex-husband and I discussed finding and sharing a woman and he, after some time, told me to go for it...to find us a woman. I did, but he backed out...fear and politics dominated his decision making abilities. After that, I met her anyway...

Now, I am involved with the man that I intend to spend the rest of my life with. He is equally as bisexual as I am. We have no issues with the gay/lesbian/bisexual lifestyle, as an involved couple. We accept each other for who we are and have an incredible bond that allows us to be a couple, but to involve same sex partners in our lives as well.

We wouldn't have it any other way...

[chick_a_dee]

We're a married couple, I'm Bi and she is straight. We met on another adult site and she knew that I was Bi even before we met. We've been married over 2 yrs and got married at a swinger's party. She is very open to my Bi side. We seek only Bi males to join us in a threesome or even some one on one between the men. She is very, very turned on being with two bi men. She loves watching us play by ourselves and enjoys all the attention she gets from two men. :three:

[Realist]

My GF and I are on the same "program". We have not involved anyone else, yet, but if we find a lady, or couple, we shall see what we shall see.

Since I am older than she is, it's my hope that we will find someone who she, at least, can care for and interact with. She says she wants me involved, too, but I don't want to be a lurker, or have a lover feel that I'm ogling them. If either's uncomfortable with me being there, I'll be OK for them to play alone.

I know that by her being bisexual, also, she can understand my desires and needs as I understand hers. I wish we could have found each other sooner, because my life has made a miraculous improvement since we met. I quit trying to please a strait lady (my ex) then found someone bi, who could accept my being bi, too.

[alexr]

i am bi and she is straight. sometimes she has questions of inadequasy but its not that at all. i am in a new stage n life were i want to live out of the closet and to hell with what society thinks is normal. i luv sexuality period. shes ok with it and joins in quite a bit because she gets strange cock with no marital problems

[mercedes67]

I am bisexual and my husband is straight. He has no problem with it at all and knows that I would like to meet other bisexual women. The problems that I have had have been with some of the other people I have met on this and other bi websites. They don't seem to understand how I can be married and be bisexual at the same time, and also with the fact that I can't go all the way with someone...I can't do it, it wouldn't be fair to my husband. I can do other things like hug and kiss and caress another woman(and to be honest that would be enough for me), but they don't get it. I have a hard time trying to explain to them my feelings about it and I just end up changing the subject and saying nothing else about it. I just don't know how else to explain it. I really just want friends right now anyways.

[Realist]

Mercedes, maybe you can find someone...they say there's someone for everyone. You'll need to make sure your interest and barriers are clearly defined, then find someone who meets your requirements.

In your case, I'd think you'd have to be fairly specific, because your desires may be appealing to other bi ladies...up to a certain point.

Since your goal does not appear to be an orgasm, I'm not sure you'll find anyone who wants to go that far, then just quit!

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm sure my GF would have a huge problem getting all fired up then .......NADA!

[TheBisexualProfessor]

Welcome, Christian! This is a great place to dialogue and there are many of us married bi guys here. I've been sharing my journey with the gang for a year now. Johnny

[mikey3000]

Hey, I'm a married bi guy with a wonderfully understanding wife. It took her a while to get over the shock as we've been together for 22 years, but once she understood why I'm like this, she was totally ok with it.

It's fun to go to the mall and check ouy guys together! She's even helping me look for that special someone to have that part time relationship with. :cool:

[ichristian11]

Thanks for all the responses. I appreciate it. It's good to hear that there are couples out there who are open with one another.

I am a grad. student in marriage and family therapy. I'm getting ready to start a research project exploring the experience of bisexual men and women who are married to straight spouses. There is not a lot of research validating the experience of bisexuals, and it seems bisexuals are frequently overlooked by society. I'm hoping to interview married couples together in my area (the midwestern United States).

I'd be curious, however, about your thoughts (if you have any) on how bisexual married persons and their spouses experience commitment, sexual identity, and gender roles within their marriage.

This isn't research. I just am trying to solicit feedback as I prepare to start interviewing and develop my ideas.

Thanks for your time!
Christian

[mercedes67]

Mercedes, maybe you can find someone...they say there's someone for everyone. You'll need to make sure your interest and barriers are clearly defined, then find someone who meets your requirements.

In your case, I'd think you'd have to be fairly specific, because your desires may be appealing to other bi ladies...up to a certain point.

Since your goal does not appear to be an orgasm, I'm not sure you'll find anyone who wants to go that far, then just quit!

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm sure my GF would have a huge problem getting all fired up then .......NADA!

Thanks for the advise Realist, I appreciate it. I know that it will be hard for me to find someone who understands what I can and cannot do, so I think for now I'm just going to look for friendship.

[marc_nola]

I'm a married 46 white male, professional, my first bi experience was at 16, and my wife does not know. We've been married 5 years, before when we were dating I broached the subject. However, she being catholic and not into such practices, I immediately dropped the subject. I was explaining, I do not think of sex or passion as with a female or male, but with another I am attracted to, contrary to sex, race, etc. It is the pure, natural attraction to want to share that special intimacy with another.

Passion, estacy, sex with her is great and we enjoy our world of erotic estacy. I have seen one guy, whos wife works for mine. They have two young children now, so it is hard to find the time.

Still, However, I do still enjoy chatting with other bi males or females. The secret is mine and life goes on wonderfully.

[parker123]

Altho not married, my gf has encouraged me to play with other men. She is excited by the idea and insists on joining in. She is turned on by two men sucking/fucking each other. I think it is partly because she enjoys the chance to play with two men. She helps out by double-teaming when I suck the guy's cock. We swap turns until he cums in one of us.

[12voltman59]

In Regards to BadBoyBilly---I have but a few words to say:


!!!!!!!!!!!TROLL ALERT!!!!!!!!!

[Curiouscourier]

I think you can be bi and married to a women. First, the sexual aspect of a friendship is differnent than being married. I have a fantasy about sleeping with another man and my wife knows it. She is really is ok with the idea. She wanted to know why I had those feelings. I told her because of my cock sucking experience when i was young. My best friend came down my throat and I loved it. Now I am bi curious, since I never have slept with another man yet. I want to and I want to include my wife at the same time becuase she wants to be fucked by two men at once too. I want to watch her getting fucked by another man too.

[eddy10]

In Regards to BadBoyBilly:

Not too sure about the Troll title. But, I do feel his remarks tend to be somewhat caustic at times. I was once told you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. My advice to to BadBoyBilly would be to convince us of your ideas with a little coat of honey.

[Curiouscourier]

Ok if you were just in a relationship with a men and being a man yourself would that make you gay and not bi?

[JP1986UM]

Married 18 yrs yesterday. Out for close to 1.

We've had our ups and downs sure, but communication, discussion of how we are feeling, dealing with the issue of my SSA, and what it means for me to find a boyfriend are all paramount to maintaining a healthy productive life together.

I love her with all my heart. I cannot help that I am also sexually attracted to men and seek a bf and male lover.

Her first husband was also bisexual, but he wasn't out. She figured it out later.

I would tread lightly on coming out. I would discuss it with a counselor who is LGBT aware and can help a mixed orientation marriage work thru those issues.

[hugo21]

I am not married but do have girlfriend who i have been with for 9 months. I have never come close to telling her some of the sexual thoughts i have towards men. I do care for her greatly and still enjoy having sex, although i cannot look to the future as i am not sure what is around the corner. I often get angry with her but i know it is just because i have been confused and taken it out on her. In an ideal world it would be great to tell her and share with her, but i am petrified of the consequences.

I would love it if someone could give me advice on how to deal with a girlfriend, and also male sexual desires?

I just want a clear head.

[matterinhand]

I'm a bi married to a straight (ish) wife.
I was sure I'd told her when we first met (on the internet) that I was bi, but about three years later we were having a love making session where we were building a fantasy as we progressed, and when we 'involved' another man and I said about cleaning them both up, she said that I hadn't mentioned it before.
As it happens it wasn't a problem for her, she'd tried bisexuality herself once but it wasn't as good as she hoped. Since then we've had several MMF and a couple of MFMF.

I also had an ex who knew that I was bi, in fact when I'd had an 'incident' at a Sauna on Shaftsbury Avenue (before we became a couple) and told her I didn't know if I'd enjoyed it or hated it she encouraged me to go and see if it happened again. (I did, it didn't, but there were minor incidents (involving watching masturbation, and being watched) that made me sure that I was ready to go further.)

[jfra18]

Me and my wife are both bisexua

[Realist]

My GF and I both are bi and what a wonderful difference that makes in our relationship and how we get along with each other!

I've hidden my bisexuality for most of my life and that just does not work! I know there are straight people who can accept a lover for being bi, but I never found one before I came to this site. this is the first time I've been truly happy in any relationship I've ever had!

[jonnybitch2]

Hey there. I just found this site. I am curious if there are bisexual men and women out there who are married to straight spouses and open to them. I’d be interested in talking more about it.

hey i'm a women and i am married to a straight man.so what do u wanna know.

[Micjolly1]

I donno, I'm straight and in a 17yr relationship with a woman that I've asked to marry twice. We have two kids and have been through a lot together. I always suspected that she was bi and confronted her on many occasions, but she always said no. She always had a special "buddy/girlfriend" that she basically worshiped ( if you know what I mean). That's why I always kinda knew. Finally, she put two and two together and admitted to herself that she has feelings towards women. Everybody that knows her knows she's bi/gay just by the way she attaches to the woman she's attracted to. I feel that after all she's been through, it would be sad for her to be frustrated for her whole life. That frustration has certainly caused issues between us because guilt has a nasty way of coming out badly. I tell her that she has nothing to hide and I'm ok with it, to me, it's just who she is. I just wish I could her be happy with who she is. Any kind of man would want that for the woman he loves.

I will admit, things have been more honest and easy going after she came out.

[CalanderGirl]

I too am married and very open with my straight husband. He's very understanding about things, most of the time. He knew about this before we got married...(only months after we started to date).

Welcome to the site :)

[hedothug]

Hey there. I just found this site. I am curious if there are bisexual men and women out there who are married to straight spouses and open to them. I’d be interested in talking more about it.

I often admire my friends who are bi and have str8t partners. As a bi professional male, I often long for a bi or str8t female who would share my bi lifestyle. At my age of 46 yrs old, I just thing that life is quickly passing me by. I want such a partner and our own family. BIG UP!!! to all the bi men with understanding str8t wives.

[hedothug]

I often admire my friends who are bi and have str8t partners. As a bi professional male, I often long for a bi or str8t female who would share my bi lifestyle. At my age of 46 yrs old, I just thing that life is quickly passing me by. I want such a partner and our own family. BIG UP!!! to all the bi men with understanding str8t wives.

[C&TCRUZ]

We are both Bi and met while at a 10k. Married in 2000 and we have had lots of mfm/fmf/mm/ff. We are very open about it and now thinking about starting a family but where hoping to find other Bi couples for fun and evening a big 4some, sharing husbands and wives and children. We should have been born ing the 50's so we could have shared the 60's...cc:rolleyes:

[Flounder1967]

I'm bi and married to a striaght woman. I never disclosed that i had been with guys before as i felt it was just young and then I met her. I wanted to tell her but I was in love with her and didn't want to lose her. after being together for 14 yeara 9 married atthe time she found out by accident we spent a lot of time sul searching and are still together. we are now married for 14 years this oct (09). We found a working relationship but we are always still working on and love each other.

[monk93]

I met my (soon to be) hubby through this site! He's straight but has known me from "coming out" to "comfortable" and I couldn't be luckier! Totally supports my bi side without being judgmental (my ex) or hurtful (his ex).