PDA

View Full Version : Marriage: When is Enough, Enough?



TheBisexualProfessor
Sep 2, 2009, 11:11 PM
Damn, ya'll! When is it enough? When is it time to say you'll never be happy or understanding of where I am? It's ok -- I don't claim to be the godsend here, and I don't claim to be right all the time. But I am bisexual, and my bride of twenty years either has to find a way for us to integrate this reality of we have to move on. At this point, after so many tears, so many loud words -- maybe it's time to move on.

TwylaTwobits
Sep 2, 2009, 11:23 PM
Sorry to hear that, I can empathize. My soon to be legal ex was just an ass, while he did make 3 cute babies he always made other babies and so spent most of his time away from the family due to child support. I am straight he was straight so it was a matter of his just not growing up in 10 years before I had enough. When I got to the point I wasn't afraid of being alone and did something about it, I realized I wasn't alone at all. If you two can not work anything out, realize that you are not alone and have a large community here to draw on for support.

Goddess Bless, TT :2cents:

Alaskan Couple
Sep 3, 2009, 12:44 AM
Man I'm really sorry to hear that you are having this difficulty. I don't have a clue as to what all you have tried, but in my opinion the most effective thing is to share some of the scientific studies that supports the "normalcy" in the diversity of human sexuality.

If she can't come to understand that we're not all cut from the same cookie cutter, then it probably isn't going to work out the way you hoped. Religion can also influence a persons opinion, and it takes a truly mature and spiritual person to work through some of that. Only you know if you dealing with an intelligent and open person (which is a must for "education" to have any effect). Best of wishes to you both.

sprite
Sep 7, 2009, 10:29 PM
Hey Professor, sorry to hear things are so frustrating for you. As the wife of a bi-man who came out to me after 23 years of marriage, I can understand where both of you are coming from. How long have you been out to her, how long have you been working on your new relationship? I have wondered if I/we will be able to make it at times. It's all so new, really. He is different and I am different, but we have managed to come to an understanding. Email me if you want to talk in more depth. I'm willing to help with a partner's perspective.
Much love to you both,
Sprite

Cherokee_Mountaincat
Sep 7, 2009, 10:33 PM
Damn, must be something in the air lately...
Whatever you decide to do sweetie, just know that you have to do what you need to do for You.
Big hugs Hon
Been there done that Cat

FalconAngel
Sep 7, 2009, 10:50 PM
Give it time. Mercury is still in retrograde for a bit yet.
When it comes out of retrograde, you should be able to communicate better and it will be easier to overcome the issues.

BeautifullyBi
Sep 8, 2009, 1:42 PM
Wow fall, I just love that you know him so well! I am stunned that he didn't come directly to you for your counsel!

Professor, I was in a marriage to man who confused my interest in women with my fantasies...they were not one in the same. He moved in, while married to me and I am forever grateful for his departure. I could be myself...finally...

When I returned to dating, I knew that I would only become involved with those who are also bi...period. Selecting those who share and accept our lifestyle has paid off with patience.

Realist
Sep 8, 2009, 3:12 PM
Yes! That was the answer to all of my problems! I found a bisexual lady, who could and did understand me and allows me to be who I am (and I mutually return those courtesies to her) My life's made a huge change for the better.

Likes really do attract and I find that I have absolutely no problems being honest and faithful to my lover. She is, in a word, a PEACH!

For the few straights, who are married/involved with bisexual mates and are happy, my sincerest admiration for your ability to accept and share with them!

12voltman59
Sep 8, 2009, 4:36 PM
Wow fall, I just love that you know him so well! I am stunned that he didn't come directly to you for your counsel!

Professor, I was in a marriage to man who confused my interest in women with my fantasies...they were not one in the same. He moved in, while married to me and I am forever grateful for his departure. I could be myself...finally...

When I returned to dating, I knew that I would only become involved with those who are also bi...period. Selecting those who share and accept our lifestyle has paid off with patience.

BB-don't pay any attention to Fall--he is a troll--just put him on your ignore list--for those don't know how to do that--click on his or the profile of anyone else that you wish to "iggy"--look at the greenline near the top of the page--
on the right side of that line--click on "add to ignore list" and just like that-all the pollution spewed out by the trolls and jerks just goes away!!