Betrayed :(

[Lenore]

I have been in a relationship with this guy for a few months now. He has been wonderful. We were friends first (on and off since I was 16). We started seeing eachother romanticly after I got out of a 15 year relationship (8 year marrige) that had just gone stail for me. He was just in the right place at the right time I guess. He offered everything my previous relationship had been missing, and because we were already friends I fell hard for him really quickly.

The last few months haven't been easy. I have been told things about him that he has explained away and I swept them under the rug figuring that he was being honest and everything would be fine. I guess I just wanted them to be fine.

Last night I got a phone call from his "ex" girlfriend. We talked for about half about half an hour. She told me they were still sleeping together and that he was just using me. I might not have beleived her, but she knew things that she could not have possibly know unless he told her, including things that were sent in e-mail and txt messages. She explained that he told her he is just with me because he is waiting to see what she is going to do next, and he feels bad for me. Feels bad for me? Whatever!!

I'm angrey but mostly sad. I don't trust people easily and he just crushed me like a bug. He has spent hours telling me how much he loves me and how he wants to be in a long term relationship with me.

I suppose I'm just stupid. I have known him for years. What made me think this relationship could work?

Anyway, I just needed an outlet and you are all very nice to have read this all the way through... Lol

thanks for reading!

Lenore

[**Peg**]

Lenore, I'm sorry for your pain.

I found the only way to look at that type of betrayal is to be damned glad you found out. Consider yourself fortunate indeed that his "ex" told you the truth about him.

When it happened to me (at age 60) his ex and I were mighty tempted to invite him to dinner at a nice restaurant; one of us would show up unexpectedly and she and I would act like we were old friends... just to see the look on his face. We didn't... he's dead now... wish we had though.

He's a user, a loser, a liar and a cheat... walk away and don't look back. Make no mistake here Lenore: HE is the stupid one.

JMO:2cents:

[lv69cpl69]

As a male point of view. well you just wanted to vent but HE is for sure the stupid one (unless you keep him ) I feel bad for you that he hurt you, but be sure not all men are like that! hope some day someone hurts him as bad.

[_Joe_]

Better to learn he's an ass now than down the road when it's even more you gave him.

[codybear3]

Better to learn he's an ass now than down the road when it's even more you gave him.

Good point, Joe... Don't invest any of your time and emotion on this person... Sometimes you open yourself to love only to be kick to the ground (and by a "friend") by some cheap fool... Good luck, Lenore... :paw::paw:

[artsy girl]

I would go personally and confront him on his crap. ...

He's being a total pussy for not even coming to you personally and telling you it's over .. i'd say he's not a man at all.

maybe even just leave a message and let him know... he was a complete
a-hole.. and next time choose to be an adult man when you want to leave the relationship.

married artsy girl

Anyone who behaves like that.. you really don't want to be with them..
he obviously doens't know how to treat people

[Lenore]

UPDATE: I talked to him today. He says his ex is lieing. That after our I talked to her last she came out to him place of employment and told him I called her to see if things were really over. She also went of to tell him some of what I said, but twisted my words quite a bit. He says she is just desperate and will do anything to get him back. Ego a little? Maybe....

I don't know who to believe and do t want to continue these childish games. Sigh.

[lv69cpl69]

wow thats a problem. he has a lot to gain by lieing to you like keeping you. if you stay with him I would walk softly and keep bobbits phone# at hand.:male:
I don't do well with cheaters

[csrakate]

The last few months haven't been easy. I have been told things about him that he has explained away and I swept them under the rug figuring that he was being honest and everything would be fine. I guess I just wanted them to be fine.



You said it all right here....believe him if you wish, but seems like he has a history of twisting the truth to suit his needs. You are worth so much more than to be treated in this manner....Trust your instincts....I think you know what you need to do and who you need to believe...and it isn't him.

Good luck to you!
Kate

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Set up a meeting like Peg had suggested and talk to them both Face to Face. Get the air cleared and if it doesnt, kick em both to the curb...lol
I found the hard way recently that life is too short to deal with stupid people (actually I've know That part for Years) and that a person shouldnt have to contend with heartless, inconsiderate, thoughtless, people. If it seems like both are lying, then get up and walk away. You're better off without 'em.
Good luck sweetie.
Cat

[csreef]

The same type of thing happened to me when I was younger..I was involved with a woman who was 2x my age(I was 25 at the time)...Seeing how at the time I was living every young mans fantasy, I didn't connect the dots... "Oh I have to spend the weekeng with my mother, shes old" Or "I'm going to my support group tonight, dont come over I wouldn't get in till real late."

When her neighbor finally "opened " my eyes, The hurt felt so bad, but I was angry at myself for being so blind..Don't worry a year later she called me up, saying how she wanted to be back with me, and I told her NO ! And the reasons why. That got every ounce of adrenalin in my body boiling, and afterwards I felt so good for confronting her and telling her off...

You are better off without that cheating shmuck, and don't waste any more energy on him...His ex-g/f must be a real "winner" too, for still being with that jerk..He deserves just what he gets NOTHING...

Someone good will come into your life. I'm sure of it

[saturnmoon]

I have been in a relationship with this guy for a few months now. He has been wonderful. We were friends first (on and off since I was 16). We started seeing eachother romanticly after I got out of a 15 year relationship (8 year marrige) that had just gone stail for me. He was just in the right place at the right time I guess. He offered everything my previous relationship had been missing, and because we were already friends I fell hard for him really quickly.

The last few months haven't been easy. I have been told things about him that he has explained away and I swept them under the rug figuring that he was being honest and everything would be fine. I guess I just wanted them to be fine.

Last night I got a phone call from his "ex" girlfriend. We talked for about half about half an hour. She told me they were still sleeping together and that he was just using me. I might not have beleived her, but she knew things that she could not have possibly know unless he told her, including things that were sent in e-mail and txt messages. She explained that he told her he is just with me because he is waiting to see what she is going to do next, and he feels bad for me. Feels bad for me? Whatever!!

I'm angrey but mostly sad. I don't trust people easily and he just crushed me like a bug. He has spent hours telling me how much he loves me and how he wants to be in a long term relationship with me.

I suppose I'm just stupid. I have known him for years. What made me think this relationship could work?

Anyway, I just needed an outlet and you are all very nice to have read this all the way through... Lol

thanks for reading!

Lenore

Sweetheart, don't complicate your life so much. If you stop and think, you are in a bisexual site. So, just ask the girl to enjoy both of you. I suppose you both are bisexual, so ask her to join you in the relatinonshiip, and see what she says. She has no business in calling you. And if he is sleeping with her, she is trying to manipulate your relationship. So blow her away asking to join you two, and see what happens. LOL. This is what you call reverse psychology.

[Realist]

No matter how expert a liar is, something usually trips them up in the end. If you know he's lying, the more distance between him and you, the better. While you are wasting your time with a dud, you may be missing out on a real gem! God, I know it hurts, but the longer you stay, the worse he will hurt you.

If I were asked for my advice, I'd say, "Count your blessings that you know and mark it up as an learning exercise, then get on with your life!" (without him!)

[Lenore]

Sweetheart, don't complicate your life so much. If you stop and think, you are in a bisexual site. So, just ask the girl to enjoy both of you. I suppose you both are bisexual, so ask her to join you in the relatinonshiip, and see what she says. She has no business in calling you. And if he is sleeping with her, she is trying to manipulate your relationship. So blow her away asking to join you two, and see what happens. LOL. This is what you call reverse psychology.

ROFL, interesting Idea. Not going to happen, but an interesting idea non the less. rofl

[Lenore]

UPDATE: I figured since I started this thread I might as well update it incase anyone was curious.. Lol

Boyfriend is still here. Maybe stupid on my part, but he's here.

I am beginning to think that the things his ex was telling me were lies or a twist on the truth.

I was sitting with him the other day when she called him. I could hear both sides of the conversation. She was telling him that she is having trouble getting over him, and she is moving away because she couldn't stand to be here and hear that I'm pregnant (Eww, not in this lifetime), or we are getting married (it's a little soon to even think about that...I mean, it's only been a few months) or something to that effect. She kept saying he never really gave her a chance and that she was sorry for the stupid things she had done... Blah blah.

I just get the impression that she called me and said all those things in desperation. I'm not saying I don't still have my guard up, but I think things may work out after all.

Then again, maybe I am being nieve. Either way, he is here for now and I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

-Lenore

[Realist]

Lenore, in the end, you're the only one you have to answer to.

I trust that you've made the right decision for you...no matter what anyone else thinks.

I really hope that you have things under control and have a happy life ahead.

Good luck, Honey.