Hard Hearted? Sigh

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I have an on-line friend that always tells me "I love you Honey, or "Love you, Lady"
And I always reply with a smile, wink, wave, or kissie faces or some usual smart ass remark. He came out and asked a few mins ago, "Why is it so hard for you to say I love you to someone?" All I could tell him was "Sorry Baby, its just not something I'm comfortable doing"
He told me a person that cant express love is a very hard hearted person.

I mean, I can tell my "kids" (Biological and adopted) this and mean it, but saying it in the sense of "I" love you is just something that I am really hesitant to do. See, a long time back I made the off-hand remark of "Love you my friend. Thank you" to a very special man in my life when he dropped me off at home, and it was just meant in a friendship connetation. He took it wrongly, and it put a huge rift in between us and almost cost our friendship. Ever since then its been very difficult for me to reply in kind when someone says that to me, plus I have to mean it before I say it. (Does that make valid sense at all?)

Sigh...maybe I just need caffine, a vacation, or to get laid or something..I dunno...lol..:crosseye:
Hard hearted old Cat

[Lenore]

Totally makes sense to me. I think that if you over use a word like that it takes away some of the meaning. Save it for the people who mean the most to you.

[codybear3]

I say it all the time including babe and love... Folks know its a term of endearment because I also did it with friends at work... But I have to know them cuz I don't want to freak them out especially if they know I'm Bi... And as good as you have been to me, Cat, I do say this from the bottom of my heart, I love you...;):wiggle2::bounce: :paw::paw:

[Herbwoman39]

From what I've seen of you Cat you are anything but hard hearted. And of course it makes sense. Love is a word that is thrown around far too much. Someone once said how can you use the same word of adoration for a car that you do for a person?

[AdamKadmon43]

From what I've seen of you Cat you are anything but hard hearted. And of course it makes sense. Love is a word that is thrown around far too much. Someone once said how can you use the same word of adoration for a car that you do for a person?

You are exactly right...

People throw that "I love you" thing around so much that I have no idea what it means anymore. It has been my experience in life that it far too often means "I own you and I control you and I possess you".

And sometimes it is like someone has a loaded gun pointed at your head. When they say "I love you"... You had damned well better say "I love you too".

I have totally stopped using it to express my feelings towards someone. Any more I just say "I care about you" or some such thing which has less emotional baggage attached to it.

[Georgie_Girl]

I don't say it lightly either, it's just not my thing. :)

[yohko469]

i am pretty young, but i was told on many occasions i have a very old soul, and i constantly refer to ppl as "luv" cause that's a term of endearment or " luv u hun" to my really close friends when i am IMing but otherwise i dun think " I Love you" is something taht should be thrown out all willynilly..yes i said willynilly.

Luv..Enderament
Love.. deep emotional connection

I dun think ur hardhearted cat. my dad never says i love u to me or my siblings, but we know he loves us more than life :)

[Realist]

Nope, you're not hard-hearted, Cat...far from it. Different folks express their emotions differently. You've been bitten, so you're even more careful not to say something that can be misconstrued. I feel like if you say something you mean it...it's not superficial, or trite. I like that.

[eddy10]

I am a real softy. I easily say things like I love to eat, or I love coffee, I love scuba diving, such terms that really are not meant as an emotional expression. But, I hardly ever tell someone 'I love you.' Wow, I wonder if I really know what love is? Do you?

[bret5668]

somehow this reminds me of a Seinfeld episode...."That's an awful big mozza ball hangin out there"

[M. Wolfe]

I became very close to an internet friend and at one point he said to me "I so love you." and of course it was an overstatement and we both knew it but I couldn't manage to say it back partly because it is a very significant word and partly because my heart belongs to another. He got a little upset and I couldn't manage to reassure him so there is a kinda complicated awkwardness between us now. :(

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Thank you Guys and Ladies, I appreciate it immensely. I'm Southern, so I use words like Loves, or Baby, Sweetie, Hon, ect because to me thats a term of affection. If I Dont call someone one of these words, then I dont like or trust that person. I dont have a prob with the affection part, just the "Love" part...
And Cody-hon. Thank you Sugar. Kisses to your...cheek..;)
Cat

[12voltman59]

Cat!!! While I only know you from our conversations on here and from what I read in your various postings--I think I can very safely say-----you are not a "hardhearted" person---you are anything but that!!!!

Your work with Vets proves that to me---that you cared to spend time with and help those guys and gals--some with, as you know--incredibly heart wrenching life stories thanks to all of the health and other problems so many of them have, is a testament to your quality of character, caring and compassion!!!!

Of course--this person was not talking about that form of love that you express by doing this sort of work----he was probably referring to the more romantic aspect of love--I can understand your reticence from too readily expressing that sort of love--I do as well--reserving saying that to someone that is very close and special to me, as I am sure that we all feel this way.

You do have to be careful when you say "I love you" to someone----since like other terms---people have their ideas about what you might mean---thinking you are referring to that form of deep, romantic type of love--and when you might not love them in that way--but do love them in other ways.

CAT--YOU ARE NOT A HARD HEARTED PERSON----YOU HAVE A HUGE HEART!!

[**Peg**]

...... Wow, I wonder if I really know what love is? Do you?

I know what I *thought* it was ... but now I know more what it isn't.