When do you tell partners that you are bisexual?

[fred fencesitter]

Feel free to elaborate.

[jeancarleo]

i'm gonna date a girl and see what happens. if we fall in love then i might tell her but by asking her first what she thinks about gays, lesbians and bisexuals and see how she reacts.

[jeancarleo]

it's easier to tell guys unless they're gay because they might reject you. i tell guys right away and if he's gay and won't accept me, then that's too bad.

[fredtyg]

I believe I told my wife over 20 years ago when we were all hot and heavy in sex. Not sure I would of told her, otherwise, way back then. When I get all hot and horny I feel like letting it out. Maybe it's some kind of exhibitionist thing?

Told a couple other gals I knew after we had sex. Not sure why, except maybe it helped keep my turn- on going.

[bikentuck]

My girlfriend & I lived in different states (now my wife) & after 3 dates (no kisses) wanted to move in with me.
I called her & asked if she knew what a swinger was, that I was, and wasn't going to change. If she couldn't handle that, to stay where she was.
She said she would like to try that.
The night she arrived we had sex , & I asked her if she has ever been with another women, her reply was no but had often thought about it.
On our first swinging experience, she ate her 1st pussy & loved it.
The next day she asked me if I had ever been with a man & I told her yes.
From that day on we only partied with Bi people.

[tgsub_danette]

I guess they should know what I'm like right from the get go. If they can't handle a male in a dress or skirt then theirs not much of a relationship to start with. I'm just going to be me no matter what. :)

[biguy3113]

Well I have been married for 5 years and with her for 7 years. I just came out to her a few months ago, I couldn't deny who I really was anymore. She is wonderfully supportive and open to whatever happens if the situation is right!

[csreef]

I'v only told 1 g/f that I was Bi...when I meet gay men & tell them that I'm Bi, the majority of them are "somewhat dissaproving" of my honesty..

[Realist]

When I was divorced in March, last year, I decided to never lie to a potential lover again. I met and dated 6 ladies since then. I told each one during our first date............. and every one of them cut out, when I told them I was bi. However frustrating that was, it helped me to find my present GF who is also bi.

If they had not been told and didn't leave, I may have been stuck with a secret that could come out later and ruin an otherwise great relationship.

I'm so glad I was honest, as it paved the way to the best lover I've ever had!

[M. Wolfe]

If they had not been told and didn't leave, I may have been stuck with a secret that could come out later and ruin an otherwise great relationship.

I'm so glad I was honest, as it paved the way to the best lover I've ever had!

Well said. Though I've only been with one girl (who found out well into the relationship (as I did) and freaked out) I think that if a person one meets can't handle the true then it's more important that they actually know than a person who could handle it for reasons written above.

[Jade Pecker]

My late wife hated gay men; she was extremely hung up on anal sex, especially between men. For her, only Superman would do....but I had (past tense) money,and kept trying to make her love me. Just before she died she said "Roger, you've got my heart". That's nice, to be sure, but a little more ACTION would have been nice. not getting pregnant by the cowboy down the street, not referring to him as a "stallion" and me as a "Gelding" to my face would have been nice...she also hated that fact that I took karate lessons. TOO FUCKING BAD! The cowboy stopped coming around after I got to brown belt..also there was no more free beer.....Judy was too sick to drink anyway.
Oh well, life goes on. That is ONE mistake I will NEVER make again! I'm sure there is someone (probbaly a man) out there who will love me for ME, but probably not a woman. I simply don't have enough "personal authority" for that, nor am I willing to put other guys down and act like a jackass.
Sorry guys, but I got hurt, and hurt bad.

[TwylaTwobits]

I didn't vote for obvious reasons, I'm not bi. But I know LDD told me after we had first started getting serious with each other and not just flirting around on msn. He sent me here and it has helped me tremendously in understanding him and loving him.

[the sacred night]

My late wife hated gay men; she was extremely hung up on anal sex, especially between men. For her, only Superman would do....but I had (past tense) money,and kept trying to make her love me. Just before she died she said "Roger, you've got my heart". That's nice, to be sure, but a little more ACTION would have been nice. not getting pregnant by the cowboy down the street, not referring to him as a "stallion" and me as a "Gelding" to my face would have been nice...she also hated that fact that I took karate lessons. TOO FUCKING BAD! The cowboy stopped coming around after I got to brown belt..also there was no more free beer.....Judy was too sick to drink anyway.
Oh well, life goes on. That is ONE mistake I will NEVER make again! I'm sure there is someone (probbaly a man) out there who will love me for ME, but probably not a woman. I simply don't have enough "personal authority" for that, nor am I willing to put other guys down and act like a jackass.
Sorry guys, but I got hurt, and hurt bad.

I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm not sure why you think a woman can't love you for you, though; I promise not all of us are like your wife. I'm really confused about the "personal authority" comment. You certainly don't have to put other guys down or act like a jackass to date women- you will be far more successful if you don't! I'm very sorry you got cheated on, but with all due respect, that was one person, not all three billion of us known as "women."

[TaylorMade]

I take advantage of the positive bias that bisexual women currently enjoy and almost always disclose my status if they ask.

I admit I also disclose the possibility of pegging with a "Can I be your man for the night?" The song "She's my Man" (Even though I'm not a huge scissor sisters fan) helps.

*Taylor*

[Falke]

Well, this never really came up while we were dating. My wife was the one who figured it out before we were married. However, with my dates I was always honest about anything asked of me. In my case, it repelled those whom I wouldn't have gotten along with, and drew in the one person whom I am with today.

The funniest was I was going with a girl and we were out on our second date. She told me that a guy at her work had a photo on his phone of a girl stuffed with a baseball bat. My reply was something of the lines of "Wow, that kinda sounds painful". To which she said "Yeah, well it's porn. All guys like porn, I bet you watch it too!" My reply was "Oh yeah!". Well, this pissed her off and the rest of the night was dominated by her passive-aggressive coldness. I dropped her off and barely made it back to my car before I started busting up laughing at her unrealistic ideas. I was still laughing when I arrived at the Waffle Haus 15 minutes later to meet up with some friends. Upon telling them the story one of them said "Damn Zwit! Did you link up with the Mormans?!" A few weeks later, I met the person who is now my wife whom I love dearly. Oh, did I mention she likes porn too? ;)

[BiDanielle]

When we meet a new swinging couple or swinging single at a neutral location, we always tell them we are orally bi and that we are seeking others who are also orally bi. It seems all women who swing are bisexual but a lot of guys aren't. But we have been pleasantly surprised by the number of husbands who agree to try it "just once" and end up being swinging friends because at the end of the night both are orally bi.

[divafromhell54]

I tell people I date right from the very beginning, I believe in honesty and since this is who I am, I think it is real important, to tell them from the get go. I get so many different reactions that sometimes it is just worth telling them to see what their reaction will be.

[Natural_bi_Beauty]

I tell people from the start. It's not something I hide.

[Realist]

I can see now, how being honest would have opened up a whole new world for me, sooner.

But, when I was younger I felt that I had to be who others wanted me to be. It was family conditioning, where nothing I did or said was the "right" thing. So, like a chameleon, I'd change to suit whoever I was with. I was one person for others and secretly I was who I really was. It never worked out as I'd hoped.

I'm glad, before I was too old, that the truth finally dawned on me. A person needs to be honest and open about who they are....... and there is someone, somewhere, who will love them for who they really are.

I have the facts, because I am loved and understood and happy for the first time in many, many years!

[hairyman43]

I tell them right away. I have lost a lot of women. I also tell men that I am bi. I didn't explore my biside until my divorce 3 years ago. I have always known I was attracted to both sexes since I was a teenager. I just recently came out to my family. It was a great burden off of me. I believe in honesty. If a person cannot accept me for who I am, it is their loss. The have missed out on a wonderful man.

[coyotedude]

I told my wife the very first night we held hands. I babbled a lot that night, as I recall... :eek:

In my relationships with women, I never discussed the topic on a first date. But I brought up the issue when it became clear that we were entering into a romantic relationship. I think there's something to be said for feeling out a potential partner for attitudes prior to making any sort of commitment; a partner who rejected bisexuals outright would never be a good fit for me. But it's only fair to your potential partner to be open and honest if it looks like a relationship is in the works.

Of course, this assumes that you are aware and (somewhat) comfortable about your bisexuality in the first place! For many of us, that's a huge assumption.

Peace

[buck-rogers]

With girls, I like to tell them on the first date because I found out back in high school that some girls are put off by that kind of thing and wouldn't want anything to do with me. There is one exception though, me and her have been really close friends since elementary school and in high school we started to have a friendship with benefits. We never dated, but we continued to be really good friends up to this day. Anyways, she has a really... conservative view about sex and I don't think she'd understand, and seeing as how we're not romantically involved I didn't see a point in telling her.

As for guys, I just assume they know I'm queer in some way when we get together. I've always believed in full disclosure if anybody ever asked, most people just don't ask.

[buds50]

prob should tell them when you get caught with a mouthfull of cock lol

[crystal1231989]

what do ya'll think about this?

[13lss]

I told my wife after being together for 15 years and one day while watching porn she admited that seeing 2 guys suck each other made her so wet it looked like she had peed herself

[bluebay]

I think that when two are truly in tone with eachother they'd know. I know that that may seem like a fairytale but even those come true.
My husband claims that he has never had any bi-sexual experiences but I suspected otherwise when 10 years ago we went to an adult bookstore. There was a video booth, we went in and saw an homo-sexual male couple having sex and my husband was extremely turned on and didn't think that I noticed.

Over the next 10 years, we experimented with toys and such. Just last mouth he finally said that he was interested in having sex with a man. It didn't come as a surprise to me though I think that he was shocked to have admitted it to himself. He is such a man's man! He says, "but I don't want a relationship with a man just want to be sexually 'free'." I told him that if that is what he wanted to do than I am in it with him.
The truth is: reality may or may not be made of things in story books but if a person really loves you and wants to be with you, they'd know and it won't matter!

I, of course, am not the subject matter expert and I am sure that others will spot this as a fallacy. I will never say not to tell your significant that you are bi-sexual, honest is always the best policy. I suggest you'd wait for that time, you'd feel it, when the two of you are in sync then it won't be a big deal to either of you. But hey, like you know, whatever:2cents:

[rissababynta]

I told my ex shortly after we started "seeing" each other.

When my husband and I became friends and we started developing an interest in each other, I told him. So technically he knew before we were a couple haha.

[Karasel]

Everyone knows that I'm bi. I myself only want to date someone I know well and have a lot in common with, so most people I date are friends or causal friends. But if I think that person may not know I'm bi, then I tell them in the flirting stage, before we even start dating. I never had problems with people not accepting me in the past, but I've had friends who gotten into fights and broke up the relationship because of she/he waited a few months into the relationship to tell them about their sexuality.

One of my friends even went so far as to go on their myspace page and change their orientation listing from bi to straight to keep it a secret from their boyfriend... Who, granted.. was a homophob.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am, and I don't see any reason to waste time on someone who couldn't get past it... Saves time and heart break.

[rutemptedalso]

Unfortunately I didn't except that I was Bi until I was married and had kids. I wish I would have excepted being Bi before I was married. I definately would have came out on the first date. It's not so easy now and I don't know that I'll ever get to expierence a true Bisexual relationship now.

[terri]

i have been curious for a very long time. i experience my first blow job when i was 15 . i never told anyone ,not untill my second wife suggested that we get another 'wife' , someone who could keep up with my desire. it was at that time when i asked her if the potential partner had to be a woman , that was ten years into our marriage .

[drwilsontx]

My current gf is the first one I told. Now. I get the urge she whips out the strap-on and takes charge, we role play.. I get fucked, she gets off, I get off. I am a lucky man she understands, and as long as I am honest it all works out

[Martyo]

I have told my current girlfriend that I am mad about the idea of giving a blow job to completion. She is fine about it and thinks that I should :tongue:

I used to give a guy regular blowjobs when i was 15 to 16 so I know I luv it. Now it's just a matter of meeting the right guy

Lucky me :male:

Martyo

[jamiehue]

unless they are clueless sorts it really should come as no surprise.