sheffieldguy55
Aug 19, 2009, 12:16 PM
Hello all. I have been here a few months now, and I am wondering how to move things on.
Does anyone understand a sort of craving to do something but reluctance to carry it out. ? A need to be led ? Most people I talk to want someone who is very keen to please.
Briefly, I am 54, married my first girlfriend when I was 18, always been together. For a long time she was a play-around, whereas I never really desired another woman, then mid 20's I had a couple of totally unexpected friendships with much older men. Not really sexual, more about them taking advantage (separately) of my shyness, and taking control... my nudity, humiliation, a bit of spanking etc. It gave me an amazing mixture of feelings and emotions. For years I put this out of my mind until around 4 years ago when I started craving these feelings again.
I went down the same route, seeking spanking, humiliation etc, and found it incredibly hard to find, especially as I am now much older, and I can only see it working with someone older than myself. Maybe once a year I find someone, but the meetings are all pretend and nothing like before.
Except one meeting, a year ago, where I met a man who wasn't really interested in what I wanted. The first social meeting went nowhere, but he demanded a second meeting a few days later to discuss what he wanted, and amazingly I was put in a position where he was touching me, talking to me like I was his slave, and he told me to take out and suck his cock. I was like a whimpering schoolgirl, crying as I let him strip me and push my head down. It only lasted a minute or so, but wow, I want more. I want to find one person to lead me further down this road. I know when I meet someone I won't dare tell them what I want, and invariably it won't go anywhere. This man gave me the choice of meeting a third time when I would have to complete what I started and carry on with meetings when he wanted.... or I should never get in touch again. At the time I was still in shock and chose not to take it further.
I have the small problem that I don't have time to travel far, and need someone who can accommodate locally, and who is older.
Any suggestions before I get too old for this ?
Does anyone understand a sort of craving to do something but reluctance to carry it out. ? A need to be led ? Most people I talk to want someone who is very keen to please.
Briefly, I am 54, married my first girlfriend when I was 18, always been together. For a long time she was a play-around, whereas I never really desired another woman, then mid 20's I had a couple of totally unexpected friendships with much older men. Not really sexual, more about them taking advantage (separately) of my shyness, and taking control... my nudity, humiliation, a bit of spanking etc. It gave me an amazing mixture of feelings and emotions. For years I put this out of my mind until around 4 years ago when I started craving these feelings again.
I went down the same route, seeking spanking, humiliation etc, and found it incredibly hard to find, especially as I am now much older, and I can only see it working with someone older than myself. Maybe once a year I find someone, but the meetings are all pretend and nothing like before.
Except one meeting, a year ago, where I met a man who wasn't really interested in what I wanted. The first social meeting went nowhere, but he demanded a second meeting a few days later to discuss what he wanted, and amazingly I was put in a position where he was touching me, talking to me like I was his slave, and he told me to take out and suck his cock. I was like a whimpering schoolgirl, crying as I let him strip me and push my head down. It only lasted a minute or so, but wow, I want more. I want to find one person to lead me further down this road. I know when I meet someone I won't dare tell them what I want, and invariably it won't go anywhere. This man gave me the choice of meeting a third time when I would have to complete what I started and carry on with meetings when he wanted.... or I should never get in touch again. At the time I was still in shock and chose not to take it further.
I have the small problem that I don't have time to travel far, and need someone who can accommodate locally, and who is older.
Any suggestions before I get too old for this ?