some advice - thoughts on condoms

[dafydd]

slept with a woman i had been flirting with for about a month. was totally great and felt natural except at one point she moved her hand to stop me putting on a condom, and i said "no way" and she said she was on the pill. Even so I said "better to be safe" and she said it feels better without. So then i kindof lost enthusiasm, because un-safe sex to me is not sexy. Later we got it on again and I used a condom, but...my question is a) do a lot of straight guys buy this "im on the pill" business..? and 2) does it feel nicer for women to have sex without a condom?

thoughts...

d

[rissababynta]

The first time my husband and I had sex he didn't put on a condom. Even to this day I'll say "You know, that was pretty stupid of both of us. We knew each other but, we didn't really KNOW..." and he says "Hey, I knew I was clean, I believed you when you said you were clean, and you were on the pill" and with a shrug, he continues on about his day haha. Just reminded me of that.

Anywhooo...I am allergic to late condems and I always thought that that is why I hated the feel of condoms. However even after using non latex, though it may not actually feel irritating, I have discovered that it still isn't a pleasant feeling. There are a lot of times that I'll be SOOO close...but I just can't finish if we are using a condom. And we have tried the ultra thin, her pleasure, all that kind of bull...yeah. The all natural feel is much nicer in my opinion.

[mrplayfuluk]

so that’s where you've been you naughty stopout:tongue:

well I only buy the 'pill business' when I have been seeing the girl awhile and its quite clear from her bathroom that the sachet is where it is visible. Having said that sex without a condom for some of my past girlfriends has been a non conversation if they are very wet. One girlfriend used a cap because she hated the sensation of condoms I'm curious to know how much is psychological and how much is sensation and lubrication...

[bimwmdecatur]

If your not 200% sure, sex without a condom is a huge risk.

[Shhhhh 47/F/usa]

I can only speak for myself here. I do not like the feel of a condom. If I'm properly lubricated the condom feels better but still not natural. With that said....it is risky to have sex with someone you are not 110% sure of and that sureness only comes with knowing the person very, very well.

[poserpo]

use a condom ALL THE TIME :)
better safe than sorry

[artsy girl]

it is entirely true that sex without condoms is way nicer..in terms of feel.

i guess it depends on how you feel about your partner.. just be open and tell her your nervous. Usually if a girl is on the pill.. she doesn't want to use a condom.. but that's my take

there's nothing better than feeling a guy orgasm inside you.

married artsy girl

[HelloToYou]

I've never actually had sex with a condom. I just don't trust the reliability of a condom, so I've always relied on other forms of birth control. I haven't been othe pill, but I've been on nuvaring and the Mirena IUD. As for STD's I've only had sex with someone I can trust.

[Gina7777]

A condom is much safer. But without feels much better. This is a big conundrum if you're not in a relationship with just one guy. There must be a moral in here somewhere ....:(

[roy m cox]

I am allergic to latex so i use lamb skin condoms.

tho if you want to really have sex with out it the both of you should
go to your doctor at the same time and have a STD test and then
see if its OK to have sex with out any protection,
tho id keep using some thing till you know for sure ..

then enjoy the fun :bigrin:

:bipride::bipride::bipride:

[kbigirl86]

I can speak only from my personal experience, but I get an irritated feeling down there from a condom and you really can't feel as much as you can without. My boyfriend and I don't use condoms, but that's only because we both enjoy sex more without it, I'm on the pill, and we are both STD free. You have to be able to trust eachother and talk about these things. I think you should talk to her and ask her if she has been tested and when. Things can take up to 6 months to show up, so I would suggest you both get tested just to be sure. Good luck!

[fuzzybunnykins]

Generally nicer without a comdom (as long as your both safe ect )
BUT its so much easier to stop a mess when he has a comdom on lol

[fairbankswingers]

I truly hate condoms, hate, hate, hate them, it feels so much better when you are skin to skin. I use the pill, and we never have sex with those we do not know and trust.:female:

[NEPHX]

I am allergic to latex so i use lamb skin condoms.


A side from birth control, and actually be very sensual to use :) (heat transfer is better for starters), lambskin condoms are NOT clinically effective for prevention of STD's.

If allergic to latex, try Polyurethane condoms such as the brand name Avanti.

About Lambskin(one quick reference: www.teensource.org/pages/3059/Male_Condoms.htm):


"Condoms made from lambskin help prevent pregnancy, but they do not protect against STDs. This is because STD germs are much smaller than sperm. STD germs can get through lambskin condoms because they have pores like our own skin. "



tho if you want to really have sex with out it the both of you should go to your doctor at the same time and have a STD test and then see if its OK to have sex with out any protection, tho id keep using some thing till you know for sure.

Many people are under educated on the issues of testing, etc. Getting tested together is a great first step but in some cases such as with HIV, the anti-bodies won't necessarily show up for 3-6 months after exposure should someone be positive. And, if one/both partners continue to have additional sexual partners and not use protection with them you get to share all partner's histories.

[NEPHX]

... was totally great and felt natural except at one point she moved her hand to stop me putting on a condom, and i said "no way" and she said she was on the pill. Even so I said "better to be safe" and she said it feels better without. So then i kind of lost enthusiasm, because un-safe sex to me is not sexy. Later we got it on again and I used a condom, but...my question is a) do a lot of straight guys buy this "im on the pill" business..? and 2) does it feel nicer for women to have sex without a condom?


Try using some silicone lube (such as Wet Platinum) with the condom - inside (a little) and out and using it on your female partner outside areas. It really helps when using condoms.

Also, try using the new Trojan Magnum Ecstasy. Its a new design which "allows freedom of movement" .. I tried them recently and they are pretty cool.

a) "do a lot of straight guys buy this "im on the pill" business..?" I'd say so....

b) don't know about women but most I've been with recently prefer no condom. I generally use a condom too but some in the past are "fluid" when we get to that point in time to trust that we play only safe if with anyone else.

[roy m cox]

A side from birth control, and actually be very sensual to use :) (heat transfer is better for starters), lambskin condoms are NOT clinically effective for prevention of STD's.

If allergic to latex, try Polyurethane condoms such as the brand name Avanti.

About Lambskin(one quick reference: www.teensource.org/pages/3059/Male_Condoms.htm):


"Condoms made from lambskin help prevent pregnancy, but they do not protect against STDs. This is because STD germs are much smaller than sperm. STD germs can get through lambskin condoms because they have pores like our own skin. "




Many people are under educated on the issues of testing, etc. Getting tested together is a great first step but in some cases such as with HIV, the anti-bodies won't necessarily show up for 3-6 months after exposure should someone be positive. And, if one/both partners continue to have additional sexual partners and not use protection with them you get to share all partner's histories.

ok thx for the info /// and my bf and i waited till we got word from the doctor that it was safe for us to have sex , i never just jump in to bed till i am very sure it's safe

:bipride::three::bipride:

[chook]

dafydd-You don't even identify as being bisexual when that's what you are since you're not homosexual or gay, and you are bisexual since you are sexually attracted to both men and women and actually have sex with them.

For you identifying as bisexual is just a matter of convince. I'm sure when you are meeting men who are actually really gay like you are not at all, that you tell them how you are gay and not bisexual just so they will not say anything to you or give you their biphobic viewpoints, or God forbid telling people the truth about yourself and your sexuality.

What do you tell the women who you date and have sex with about yourself?

THERE'S THAT FUCKING TROLL AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!

[NEPHX]

dafydd-You don't even identify as being bisexual when that's what you are since you're not homosexual or gay, and you are bisexual since you are sexually attracted to both men and women and actually have sex with them.

For you identifying as bisexual is just a matter of convince. I'm sure when you are meeting men who are actually really gay like you are not at all, that you tell them how you are gay and not bisexual just so they will not say anything to you or give you their biphobic viewpoints, or God forbid telling people the truth about yourself and your sexuality.

What do you tell the women who you date and have sex with about yourself?

Your attack of dafydd is uncalled for and shows your ignorance on the topic of sexuality. How dafydd identifies is totally irrelevant to his query.

But, for the rest of us readers of your post, its an opportunity to help dispel one of many myths of sexuality and bisexuality.

Only the individual can speak to their sexual orientation. If that person says they are bisexual, then they are....if straight, then that's what they are... today. Tomorrow they may choose to identify as queer, gay, a lesbian male or WHATEVER. And, academically speaking nothing a person does makes a person anything. There is an entire area of focus in the national and international LGBTQI support community for straight men who have sex with men (MSM) (look it up in Wiki for the academic/clinical references for a start).

I'd suggest you (at least) check out the book "Getting Bi; Voices of Bisexuals Around the World" 2005 Robyn Ochs, Editor, Sarah E. Rowley, Co-Editor. If nothing else, read Chapter 1: What is Bisexuality, pages 7 & 8. (She does have the credentials.)

In the past, I have generally used the somewhat common definition of bisexuality, and one Robyn's also mentions in her book, as bisexuality is "the potential to be attracted to people regardless of gender."


Robyn's definition on page 8 of "Getting Bi" (and she also uses I-Speak) says: "I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge in myself the potential to be attracted, romantically and/or sexually, to people of more than one sex, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree."

She goes on to say: "I expect that this definition will change yet again, as I continue to learn."

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Ok. So how do you define yourself, Az? Oh excuse me, Lear?

[NEPHX]

Ok. So how do you define yourself, Az? Oh excuse me, Lear?

hey cat, it's bidebi again ;-)

He defies definition.