bislander
Aug 2, 2009, 6:51 PM
So I'm new here, and didn't want to drop my story in poserpro's thread. This site is really great, and reading about others experiences has been great as well. I told some of this in another thread, but I want to just open up fully for once. This might even be somewhat helpful. Who knows? It's not too long of a story, I promise.
My very first sexual experience was very young. It started like most people's experiences I would imagine, straight or otherwise. My friend Robbie and I played doctor with our other neighbor Paige on several occasions. We had fun, and we got caught, and Paige was no longer allowed to hang out with us boys. So of course, we carried on without her. Looking turned to touching, touching turned to sucking, sucking grew to kissing, and so on. We never had anal sex though (still not something that really appeals to me, straight or otherwise). Where my story diverges from other straight guys that maybe did similar was that we did it a lot. And we continued to do it until we got old enough that someone first told us what gay meant. Now, we weren't gay, we were men. Gays were sissies, and couldn't throw a baseball. So that was that. We liked chicks. We grew apart because of what we had done, and the fear that someone would label us gay. We chocked it up to youthful experimenting. I didn't spend those other early years looking at Pam Anderson in Playboy wishing she was a dude. I just drooled over her.
For a long time I was a very happy, horny hetero male. Then I found the internet, and porn. I found that over time my tastes were more and more cock centric, until one day I found myself watching gay porn. And , ah, enjoying it. ;) Now confusion has set in, cause I know I'm not gay, but damn, are some guys good looking. I didn't know what to call myself, because bisexual was the first stop on the gay train, and I really did like women. I knew it wasn't some sort of denial, or that I was hiding my true self. I've been in a few long term relationships, and while finding most women insane, I find almost all of them irresistible. So I just carried on being what I was, a straight guy that from time to time watched gay porn and got off on it. I was just really horny, I told myself. I thought that maybe one day I might act on my fantasies, but that they would probably stay fantasies.
Then I met Stephanie. She was a friend of my friend Mary, and had just moved to town. I helped her find an apartment as a favor to Mary, and well, one thing led to another. We started hooking up. It was great sex, really fun girl. Well one night while we're laying in bed, she confessed that her and Mary had been a bit more than curious in college, and had had a sexual relationship for almost year, until Mary moved to Atlanta. Stephanie was still attracted to her, but Mary was engaged to a guy now, and wanted to be monogamous. She seemed a little embarrassed about admitting it, since nobody knew about them, and she didn't want people to think she was a lesbian. She mentioned that she wished she could find another girl to join us. I was moved that she had told me this, and had a little liquid courage leftover, so I began to open up to her. You know, to show her just how ok I was with bisexuals. Oh, what a bad idea that was. As I mentioned in another thread, telling her that not only did I find some guys cute, but that I had actually put a dick in my mouth ended us. I was so scared, and scarred, that I never opened up to anyone about it again. Back to just straight guy with kinky fantasies.
Well, jump forward to today. I'm a little sexually frustrated with having moved to a tiny hick town after growing up in the big city. I'm not used to people knowing my business, and it makes straight dating difficult to me. So naturally, I look at porn. And naturally, it's been featuring more and more guys. And I'm fantasizing about it more and more. I just snapped one day and said that I'm not going to keep my desires out of the real world any longer. I am keeping my desires need to know, but I'm looking forward to moving at the end of the year. I'm moving to a bigger city to find a better job, and I'm hoping that I'll meet fun people there. And I'm no longer going to say I can't have fun with someone because somebody might call me gay. Now I don't know if all this makes me bi, straight or whatever. My point is, I guess, that I no longer care what label is stuck on me.
So that's who I am. Go ahead and label away. :bigrin:
My very first sexual experience was very young. It started like most people's experiences I would imagine, straight or otherwise. My friend Robbie and I played doctor with our other neighbor Paige on several occasions. We had fun, and we got caught, and Paige was no longer allowed to hang out with us boys. So of course, we carried on without her. Looking turned to touching, touching turned to sucking, sucking grew to kissing, and so on. We never had anal sex though (still not something that really appeals to me, straight or otherwise). Where my story diverges from other straight guys that maybe did similar was that we did it a lot. And we continued to do it until we got old enough that someone first told us what gay meant. Now, we weren't gay, we were men. Gays were sissies, and couldn't throw a baseball. So that was that. We liked chicks. We grew apart because of what we had done, and the fear that someone would label us gay. We chocked it up to youthful experimenting. I didn't spend those other early years looking at Pam Anderson in Playboy wishing she was a dude. I just drooled over her.
For a long time I was a very happy, horny hetero male. Then I found the internet, and porn. I found that over time my tastes were more and more cock centric, until one day I found myself watching gay porn. And , ah, enjoying it. ;) Now confusion has set in, cause I know I'm not gay, but damn, are some guys good looking. I didn't know what to call myself, because bisexual was the first stop on the gay train, and I really did like women. I knew it wasn't some sort of denial, or that I was hiding my true self. I've been in a few long term relationships, and while finding most women insane, I find almost all of them irresistible. So I just carried on being what I was, a straight guy that from time to time watched gay porn and got off on it. I was just really horny, I told myself. I thought that maybe one day I might act on my fantasies, but that they would probably stay fantasies.
Then I met Stephanie. She was a friend of my friend Mary, and had just moved to town. I helped her find an apartment as a favor to Mary, and well, one thing led to another. We started hooking up. It was great sex, really fun girl. Well one night while we're laying in bed, she confessed that her and Mary had been a bit more than curious in college, and had had a sexual relationship for almost year, until Mary moved to Atlanta. Stephanie was still attracted to her, but Mary was engaged to a guy now, and wanted to be monogamous. She seemed a little embarrassed about admitting it, since nobody knew about them, and she didn't want people to think she was a lesbian. She mentioned that she wished she could find another girl to join us. I was moved that she had told me this, and had a little liquid courage leftover, so I began to open up to her. You know, to show her just how ok I was with bisexuals. Oh, what a bad idea that was. As I mentioned in another thread, telling her that not only did I find some guys cute, but that I had actually put a dick in my mouth ended us. I was so scared, and scarred, that I never opened up to anyone about it again. Back to just straight guy with kinky fantasies.
Well, jump forward to today. I'm a little sexually frustrated with having moved to a tiny hick town after growing up in the big city. I'm not used to people knowing my business, and it makes straight dating difficult to me. So naturally, I look at porn. And naturally, it's been featuring more and more guys. And I'm fantasizing about it more and more. I just snapped one day and said that I'm not going to keep my desires out of the real world any longer. I am keeping my desires need to know, but I'm looking forward to moving at the end of the year. I'm moving to a bigger city to find a better job, and I'm hoping that I'll meet fun people there. And I'm no longer going to say I can't have fun with someone because somebody might call me gay. Now I don't know if all this makes me bi, straight or whatever. My point is, I guess, that I no longer care what label is stuck on me.
So that's who I am. Go ahead and label away. :bigrin: