my long road...

[myself]

Its bean a long road but have finally got here, ok im in my late twenties and have lived a straight life but i always new that wasn't the life i wanted to live. i tried hard to like girls in a physical way but it did nothing for me' yeah i find girls better looking than men but looks is where it stops.

to make a long story short, I recently lost my job that has left in dire straights but found my sexuality and the real me (never been so happy). so i guess i can jump past being bi and say i am gay or either, anyway how do i play the game from here? i cant come out the closet in fact im so far in the closet im beginning to look like coat hanger.

I want to hit the scene close to where i live in vauxhall london but scared i will get seen by one of the few gay people i used to work with (gossip guaranteed) but they like a bit gossip and will be certain to blow my cover which in turn will get back to friends and family (that can't happen)

ANY ADVICE.

thanks.

[texasman6172003]

Hi myself,Welcome to the site. Ihope evrything works out for you. There are a lot of friendly people here.If any of us can help dont be afraid to ask. Come to the chat room,and meet a lot of the gang. Like i said hope evrything works out for you. Charles,,,,Tex....

[rumple4skin]

Hi Myself,
I kind of see life like a journey and not a destination. I had bi thoughts as long as I can remember. I did not accept that I was bi until I was about 31. That was not the end of my journey. I still had to grapple with things like should I tell any of my friends or family? What does this mean to me? There were many other questions too.
I am glad that you have "never been so happy" and hope that your happiness grows as you learn more about yourself.
I am sorry to hear that you feel your friends and family cannot know about this. If you must be discrete then maybe you should look for a more discrete way of exploring. You do not have to jump in and start waving a flag unless you want to. Try taking small steps and see how that goes.
You will have to find your own answers to those questions. I decided to tell some of my friends and family. I do not feel the need to shout it from the rooftops though. :) It went well for the most part. I am still working on the fine points of what being bi means to me. :) I would say there is still a great deal of the road in front of you. You just made a course correction. Try to enjoy the journey. Good luck and welcome to the site. There are lots of great peole here. Don't hold the fact that they let me join against them ;)

[huneypot]

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

ull love the site an i can guarantee u ull make friends and have a howl in the chat room.

I live in Ireland but i lived in London for 6 years and rocked the gay scene over there,
its fucking brilliant mate
I recommend the club "Heaven" in Soho
chances of meeting anyone u know are like 1,000,000,000 to 1 mate i swear
I'd avoid anywhere local so as to stay in the closet but the West End is fine.
Anywhere in Soho is great, damn im trying to remember the names but ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm its bin a while lol.
Wish i was still there mate i'd drag ya out and have a blast
(although i'd say not much dragging would be needed lol)
All i can say is get out there and enjoy urself, have fun, make friends, be safe
Don't fell alone
If i can help with anything please send me a message or find me in the chatroom, that wont be hard lol
hope to see u
Huney
xxx
xx
x
;)
:bigrin:

[nubiwoman]

hello Myself,

I like your name :)

Seems that you have had quite a journey to get to this place of accepting who you are and sitting comfortably with that...

I'm glad you found this website because despite it not being exclusively gay, a lot of people are able to make allies and access support in just hearing themselves think...

I remember one man i spoke to on here was quite confused about his desire for anal penetration yet didnt really fancy men... through just chatting anonymously i suggested he may like to ask a girlfriend to experiment with a vibrator on him..... just chat really, but a few days later he PMd me to say that was what he was looking for and it was societies values that had pushed him into believing he must be bi when he really was just a VERY horny straight boy! :cool:

So just enjoy your time here 'myself'... whether Bi, Gay or Straight with Bi loved ones we all have our own experiences of living that out.

Hitting the frontline of the gay scene, may well expose you to stuff that is a little overwhelming just now... such as family hearing through the grapevine etc. I wonder if maybe enjoying a little bit of anonymity here, whilst you find your feet and sound out your ideas could just give you the boost of confidence you need to continue on your awfully big adventure?

Welcome anyway myself :bigrin:

love Julie xx

ps I'm such a slow typer that when i started this response you had no replies... having just read through the three that arrived before mine..... I rest my case :rolleyes:

[jo69guy]

As the others have recommended, just take it slowly and easily. You don't have to tell the world all at once. I didn't come "out" to my family, until around 3 years ago. (I'm 39 now) I have told a few of my closest friends, and most have been pretty neutral about it. One was thrilled, as she is bi herself, and living with a woman at this point.

Other than that, always be careful and safe. You will make many friendsa here. This is the best Bi/Gay sight on the web!

WELCOME!

:bipride:

[rupertbare]

myself - WELCOME!! :)

Glad you found this site - it's very friendly and I'm sure you'll find folk that you can relate to here.

Heaven, as has already been pointed out, would be "safe" inasmuchas no one would spot you but it is a pretty "full on" gay scene there (my daughter goes with a coupla gay male friends when she's in town so Know from her what it's like). You could, of course, try The Bisexual Underground - they meet once a month - you'll find details on this site on the "Home" page - listed under "Local Events".

The advice to slow down is well founded - "suddenly" coming to terms with one's sexuality has the "gushing" effect - now I know who I am I wanna go out and have some fun!! lol!! But and this is a BIG but, the Gay scene can be quite promiscuous and thing's like HepC are very easily transmitted so do do do use safe sex only!

I know Vauxhall fairly well (I'm a Clapham lad myself - but now live in Notting Hill) - of course for the Tate Britain as much as anything - although there are several gay and transvestite pubs in the area.

Well take care - I hope you enjoy the adventure of your new found life.

With love and peace to you

Rupe :)

[pmg_ams01]

Hi to myself (now that is the weirdest intro ever !!!)

One thought - if you've lost your job, what about looking for some temp or contract work in another location - then look at the scene there, guaranteed no-one from your old job. Don't know what sort of job you had, but just an idea.

Good luck to you anyway - and I'm pleased for you - wish I'd been more honest with myself (as in me, not you ;) but like you've been, if you see what I mean) when I was younger ! Life might have been very different, but who knows?? There's a lot I like about the life I have - hope you find what you want.

[happyjoe68]

Hello myself

Like you I fully came upon my bisexuality recently, despite having various bisexual sexual and emotional urges on and off through the years. It took me almost 10 years from feeling comfortable about fancying men as well women. It first happened when I was abroad, when someone who was evidently gay gave me the glad eye. I was flattered, but was I'm so self-conscious that I find it hard to respond. Suffice to say, It isnt easy making the first steps into the new world, but there are plenty of people here who will help you (Thanks to Nubiwoman and Tom_UK). The comment about leaving the area and going elsewhere might help you get away from all the "small town" crap etc that you worry about having to face. Being abroad helped me move towards recognising my bisexuality and getting out and about in a gay scene far away from home helps me too, so it might do the same for you. I hope it does!

[myself]

thanks to all for the sound advice, it's all been taken on board and i think i will take things nice and easy.

thanks again.