watching, when is it ok...

[footlady]

well, since my last thread my story has evolved. As you may or may not recall, i fell for a 'very' younger dude, and in addition, he's gay. He recently has been wondering about that too, interestingly enough. He tends to hold back now the 'occasional' touching which he used to do to me. So i came up with inviting his exbf to my house, in an attempt for me to achieve 'compersion.' Of course everyone jumped on that bandwagon except for my gay roomie; his exbf, bi, was all for it and brought in his current bf, also bi. Well now my roomie is so excited, cause he now has 3sums! yummy for them, not for me, as i lay sitting in the room accross from them, and have intensive yearnings. They all 'claim' to be my friends, and will sit with me, talk with me, and occasionally 'touch' my hand, lol. One of them slept by my side but no contact was made. We discuss compersion, but i think their age, early 20's, is not something they understand. I have since learned that you can't strive for compersion, it has to be there...that's the hard part when you want someone so bad i guess...
I don't want be pushy and just knock on their room and come in; besides, they always wait, it seems, until i'm gone from the house, or am asleep. and yes they are staying at my place, gratis. It's just i'm not the kind of person to just toss people away, and i don't want to feel paronoid, in that, well, i'm being used:(
i am so ready to put peep holes all over his room, i swear...
i am so curious, it hurts, because i can't help being around them. I am ready for the next step, but who really takes it, and bottom line, the thought of rejection and abandoment jades at me.
i just want to take a moment to thank you all, because if it wasn't for this website, i'd be going insane as i continue to undergo an insane metamorphosis...

corina, that's my name

[_Joe_]

Sounds like you are being used, and despite the fears of loneliness, until you respect yourself nobody else will.

[codybear3]

Looks like these people found a playroom at your expense... Perhaps you need to put your foot down, footlady... Listen to Joe, he'll make your sides burst with funnies but he'll tell it to you straight for the asking... Hope everything works out for you, Corina... :2cents::paw::paw:

[footlady]

You may be right, and i may be in denial. I definitely do not like living
by myself, as i grew up an only child, and twas lonely indeed. It's
a conundrum for me right now. I would like to step up my level of self
respect if anything; however i was humoring myself this morning, and
telling myself, yes, i am being used. but, being the ethical 'slut' (i think
that's why they call us, even if we're not sluttying) the point is that
my fantasies really stay sharp; I am looking for ways of me not being
reactive. i think i am a pretty pro active person.


'we see what we believe' oshia

[welickit]

They need to put a spell checker on here for those educated (or uneducated) in the USA

[_Joe_]

There is one, use Firefox web browser.

[jem_is_bi]

You may be right, and i may be in denial. I definitely do not like living
by myself, as i grew up an only child, and twas lonely indeed. It's
a conundrum for me right now. I would like to step up my level of self
respect if anything; however i was humoring myself this morning, and
telling myself, yes, i am being used. but, being the ethical 'slut' (i think
that's why they call us, even if we're not sluttying) the point is that
my fantasies really stay sharp; I am looking for ways of me not being
reactive. i think i am a pretty pro active person.


'we see what we believe' oshia

You need to make it clear to him that you need some physical love in return for providing him a place for being with other male lovers. Regardless of his sexuality, if he cares for you, he should care that you have no access to the joy he experiences with male lovers.
So, tell him you have needs too. Maybe, he believes that sexual advances by a gay man would offend you.
If he does not embrace you and include you in his life, then it would be best to replace him with another who smiles when he thinks about you.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

What does it matter Welickit, as long as they get their message across and are decent about it?
Cat

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Girlfriend, wake up and smell the coffee-- you are being used with a capitol U, as in You. The reason they do this when you arent home is so it Doesnt turn you on, and they can have free rein in Your house.:rolleyes:
You are waaaayyy nicer than I am, Hon. :cool:
Cat