paddington
Jul 18, 2009, 2:03 PM
Hi, i posted some time ago. i'm married,had never been un faithful untill i had a affair with my friend which i ended after she wanted me to lull my husband into thinking everything was ok in the marriage(you can work out the deciet involved-there was very little communication between my hubby& me by this point let alone anything else!) untill she got her house back from a lodger,at which point i was to pack up and just leave right outa the blue with him thinking it was hunky dory.
she's a very minipulative person.going to great lengths to get her own way.she lies,twists what her responses are depending on what i'd say.she was married but her husband has divorced her because of the affair.she told her hubby i'd pursued her-it wasn't true.she'd known from being a teen she is a lesbian,she says she isn't bi.
so much has happened with her,too much to write in 1 post. i loved her so very much,i was head over heels and untill she asked me to pull the wool over my husbands eyes i was planning to leave& be with her. it felt like a lightbulb moment!
some time after that we were in contact,i felt she was winning me round.she'd taken her wedding&engagement ring off,told me she was getting divorced wether i'd be with her or not because she was a lesbian& her hubby was like a friend, then i met her,we went out,she had her rings on again!!!! i commented,she replied,"oh it's nothing...it's just to keep him happy...it doesn't mean anything" i was so sad.if she could do that to him i knew she would do it to me.
i got caught up with her last year,tears etc,she told me she was suicidal etc etc without me. but i've learnt tears,kind words etc are all a trap, i can't trust her. she left me a coded message implying she was leaving the area,she had a van parked up on the drive and her car was nowhere to be seen,she later told me it was a neighbours van,i've no idea where she hid her car.i contacted her(yes stupid) to say goodbye because i thought she was leaving the area. again i got the ,"i'm so low without you i'm on medication",other stuff too.
i told her i'm happy with my husband and won't leave him. she said she'd take any time i'd give her.
she threatened to show my husband tex messages from when i was in the affair with her if i won't have sex with her,so you can imagine the content. BLACKMAIL.
i made a decision months before i wasn't going to cheat anymore. she's put me under a lot of pressure. i've had to change landine,mobile no's and email more than once and now only a handful of trusted friends have contact details. i've had un wanted mail including magazine subscrpitions from her.
my husband knows all about this,no secrets.it has had to be that way for him&i to continue. it also prevents her from hurting him even more than i have.
what she's done/doing is showing people locally my textsfrom when we were together. she was using 2 sim cards at one point and texing herself saying they were from me and answering herself! her behavoiur can be alarming!
so, a lot of people locally aren't (still) speaking to me. she's telling people i'm pursuing her which really, really is not true. i now realise i can't even afford to be polite to her if i see her out and about,she takes advantage,manipulates every situation.
i wish she would shut up and move on but she doesn't seem able to stop herself. i'm trying very hard not to speak to others about it as i think she keeps contact with me going via 3rd parties this way as things are passed back and too.
my hubby and i have worked so hard together and with Relate to repair our marriage. we're doing well, i love him very much. i loved her too i can't believe that she's still acting like this after so long. there's been so much to deal with including my sexuality.
to anyone thinking about having a affair i'd say please,please stop and think. this is very different to those who post about being open within a relationship and taking other partners.
i know they say atimes a great healer...i wish it'd hurry up.
sorry long post,bit fed up with all today:(
she's a very minipulative person.going to great lengths to get her own way.she lies,twists what her responses are depending on what i'd say.she was married but her husband has divorced her because of the affair.she told her hubby i'd pursued her-it wasn't true.she'd known from being a teen she is a lesbian,she says she isn't bi.
so much has happened with her,too much to write in 1 post. i loved her so very much,i was head over heels and untill she asked me to pull the wool over my husbands eyes i was planning to leave& be with her. it felt like a lightbulb moment!
some time after that we were in contact,i felt she was winning me round.she'd taken her wedding&engagement ring off,told me she was getting divorced wether i'd be with her or not because she was a lesbian& her hubby was like a friend, then i met her,we went out,she had her rings on again!!!! i commented,she replied,"oh it's nothing...it's just to keep him happy...it doesn't mean anything" i was so sad.if she could do that to him i knew she would do it to me.
i got caught up with her last year,tears etc,she told me she was suicidal etc etc without me. but i've learnt tears,kind words etc are all a trap, i can't trust her. she left me a coded message implying she was leaving the area,she had a van parked up on the drive and her car was nowhere to be seen,she later told me it was a neighbours van,i've no idea where she hid her car.i contacted her(yes stupid) to say goodbye because i thought she was leaving the area. again i got the ,"i'm so low without you i'm on medication",other stuff too.
i told her i'm happy with my husband and won't leave him. she said she'd take any time i'd give her.
she threatened to show my husband tex messages from when i was in the affair with her if i won't have sex with her,so you can imagine the content. BLACKMAIL.
i made a decision months before i wasn't going to cheat anymore. she's put me under a lot of pressure. i've had to change landine,mobile no's and email more than once and now only a handful of trusted friends have contact details. i've had un wanted mail including magazine subscrpitions from her.
my husband knows all about this,no secrets.it has had to be that way for him&i to continue. it also prevents her from hurting him even more than i have.
what she's done/doing is showing people locally my textsfrom when we were together. she was using 2 sim cards at one point and texing herself saying they were from me and answering herself! her behavoiur can be alarming!
so, a lot of people locally aren't (still) speaking to me. she's telling people i'm pursuing her which really, really is not true. i now realise i can't even afford to be polite to her if i see her out and about,she takes advantage,manipulates every situation.
i wish she would shut up and move on but she doesn't seem able to stop herself. i'm trying very hard not to speak to others about it as i think she keeps contact with me going via 3rd parties this way as things are passed back and too.
my hubby and i have worked so hard together and with Relate to repair our marriage. we're doing well, i love him very much. i loved her too i can't believe that she's still acting like this after so long. there's been so much to deal with including my sexuality.
to anyone thinking about having a affair i'd say please,please stop and think. this is very different to those who post about being open within a relationship and taking other partners.
i know they say atimes a great healer...i wish it'd hurry up.
sorry long post,bit fed up with all today:(