Self-Doubt and confusion

[NationunderNod]

Hi i'm new to the site so sorry if i posted in the wrong area or something.

Since i was young i always knew i was attracted to women but then when i was about 15 I realized I was attracted to certain men too. Its been about six years since than and i still feel attraction to certain men. I worry a lot though maybe i'm not bi and i'm kind of tricking myself somehow or im maybe just attracted to only a couple of men i've met/seen and not men in general (hope that makes sense). I always used to think that gay/Bi men were turned on almost by every man they see, but i strongly suspect that's a stereotype. When attracted to other men is it normal to be attracted to some men but not others? I'm just filled with self-doubt as if it just might be a phase or just a feeling towards a few guys (I certainly would not be self-loathing if i truly am Bisexual/gay).

Thanks

[jem_is_bi]

I am mostly gay. However, I am not attracted to most men. Rather, I am attracted to very few men. At the moment, I am attracted to only one man. Even more strange, I am attracted to very many women, even though my desire for actual sex with them is not especially strong.

[DiamondDog]

Lots of queer men myself included have a certain type of man, or maybe a few types of men that they are attracted to, and that's just how it is.

As far as women go I'm WAY more picky with them and I mainly have just one type I'm attracted to and I prefer women to be thin, boyish, and femme/high femme and sometimes I do fetishize certain body parts on women like their feet.

No not all queer men are turned on by every man who they see.

It's just like how not all bisexuals are turned on or even attracted to every single person who they see.

[M. Wolfe]

(I certainly would not be self-loathing if i truly am Bisexual/gay).

I think this is the key here. You are a bit confused as to what you really want but you don't seem to be afraid of knowing. Sooooo find out! Get experimenting, find out what you enjoy and don't enjoy.

And don't doubt yourself just because what you find is unexpected, "be yourself" means don't compromised yourself when going after something - go with the flow.

[Kermit Jagger]

A person cannot control to who does or does not attract them; it's just the way it is. You are attracted to some men and not to others means you are attracted to some men. What attracts anyone else really doesn't matter. All of us are bisexual or bicurious because we are attracted to at least some people of the same sex. Welcome to the club.

Love,

Kermit

[artsy girl]

i think in general it is a very confusing road for most people when they start to think they are bisexual. i would of never even thought about it until.. i realized after coming across some group and girl on girl porn.. i was really turned on by it. In fact I had never even really looked at a girl that way ever in my whole life.
I had been attracted to a friend at one point in time, but i was really drunk that night and i just figured it was nothing.. maybe i just needed to have sex.

When i finally opened myself up to the idea i might be bi.. i started talking to people on line.. looking at pics of people seeing if i was really attracted to women or not. I had a lot of sexual talk with girls.. eventually a year later i met someone and actually kissed a girl.. that was when i really knew i was bi.

I also found during that time.. that i became more attracted to women all around me.. i look a lot.. sometimes i go through periods where i'd rather have sex with my husband more. It can be up and down for a lot of people.
Some people like to just look.. some like to talk.. but no actual meeting people.
I've had people tell me i'm a lesbian.. but when it comes down to it.. i know i like looking and flirting but i love to come home afterwards and get banged by my hubbie. My :2cents: from marriedartsygirl

[Music Girl]

Hey Nation!

I think you're on the right track with saying you won't be self loathing. My bisexuality was somewhat of a "surprise" to me as well. Growing up, I knew I was attracted to the opposite sex, but somewhere way back in my mind was maybe I liked women as well. The only thing that made me think that was a feeling I'd get when my female friends would be at the house on a sleep over or something. When we'd fix each other's hair or put on make up or something, I'd get the butterflies in the stomach feeling. I didn't really think much of it, since I was young, and hadn't been touched in this way by a guy before.

When I was in college, my best friend told me he was gay. That was when I started just letting myself consider the fact I might be bi. For me, I don't think about being attracted to a man or a woman. I am attracted to the person. Whether they are male or female is usually fairly irrelevant for me. That may not be true for others here, but it is how I am.

Don't worry about who you are attracted to. Whoever it is, it is natural, and there is nothing wrong with you. Hang in there, and welcome to the site.

MG

[Realist]

Even though I was bi and have always been, it still jarred me to learn that someone I knew was bi, or gay. I'm older than most of you and when I was young, that was something you certainly didn't advertise. Central Florida, back then was and to a certain extent still the heart of the bible belt, so for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me. I wish I had this kind of forum to discuss my interests and dreams, back then. If I'd give you any advice, it'd be to keep your cool, be careful until you going with this, and think before you act. Good luck, to you!

[jem_is_bi]

You can't have it both ways you are either homosexual or you are bisexual.

What I find to be both hilarious and sad is how a lot of people on here will, on the one hand, make the argument that "labels don't matter" and "sexuality is fluid" yet at the same time write about how they are GLBT.

You can't have it both ways as it's an either / or proposition and there is nothing wrong with using a label for political means.:2cents:

I VERY MUCH prefer sex with men. In particular, I VERY, VERY MUCH LOVE TO HAVE SEX with one particular man. Sex with women is only very pleasant. I do not see why you think I must declare myself as homosexual. I would like to do that except women can be so beautiful and sexy and get me excited. So, I am bisexual even if neither of us are totally comfortable with that fact.
I do not mind labels. I just do not fit a specific label all the time. But, if you want to label me homosexual, that is fine with me. But, I will still be checking out the women.

[Music Girl]

I do not see why you think I must declare myself as homosexual. I would like to do that except women can be so beautiful and sexy and get me excited. So, I am bisexual even if neither of us are totally comfortable with that fact.
I do not mind labels. I just do not fit a specific label all the time. But, if you want to label me homosexual, that is fine with me. But, I will still be checking out the women.


Very well said Jem. I agree wholeheartedly. :)

I especially agree with what you said about not fitting a specific label all the time. I say I am bisexual because I am attracted to both sexes. Maybe I'm not attracted to both sexes all the time, but I don't think this makes me straight, nor do I think this makes me a lesbian. Thus, if there has to be a label, then I would use bisexual.

Just my :2cents:

MG

[NationunderNod]

Thanks to everyone for the helpful and welcoming responses! I certainly appreciate itt!