Log in

View Full Version : A Short Story for my mate BrotherJack



void()
Jul 11, 2009, 9:42 AM
It has been some time ago. I recall being asked for a story, though. Had an urge to scribble a bit this morning. Not much but BrotherJack, "yer welcome to read it so long as yepitktlonferus when I visit." Hopefully I'm not butchering Skosh, or you may understand it. If not, put us a kettle on when I visit. Tea or that damn Yank coffee is fine, even common tea. Meanwhile, please do read and enjoy this short story. Anyone else may read it as well. Comments & critiques are welcomed. But don't be offended or surprised if I do not reply to them. It's an odd habit of mine to let these birds go free. :)



_Brownstone on Seventh_
by Benjamin K. Badgley


Her dress was coarse, nearly burlap held up with spaghetti cords. Out
to the deck she went. No one seemed to notice her. Drinking glasses
clinked while ice cubes watered down cheap rum or vodka.

The house was built sometime in nineteen thirty-three. Everyone
contributed a unique signpost of history. It was a doctor's house.
Some doctor who used experimental treatments for patients unable to
speak or pay.

Word spread this doctor kept an animal locked in the surgery,
downstairs. It fed off amputated body parts, rattled the furnace
piping when hungered. Kids had gone in of evenings over the years and
were never seen again.

Night air makes fear tumble off like so much sackcloth. A gentle coo
matching a fresh smile, oil canvas of sunrise. Her name was Alicia.
The doctor treated her sister for a malady involving tummy aches.

Inside the din swelled and eddied as someone got a card game in the
works. Alicia watched the cards. "Doctor played with cards, too. Took
one into my sister's belly. Then took out part of her." She turned and
faced the road.

A blood soaked gown hung on the wrought iron fence. It only needed a
few steps, then nothing appeared on the fence. Alicia was heartbroken.
Lights came on from downstairs. Slit basement windows gleamed in the
night, cat's eyes. Rattle, bang, rattle.

The animal was hungry. Into the house I went. Alicia made the room
extremely cold. "You all need to leave. Stop laughing! My sister is
down there dying!" On cue the host of the party opened the basement
door. He had gone after more liquor.

Light revealed an empty concrete box at the end of the stairs. A four
inch round hole covered with an iron grate in the center of the floor
was a drain. No heating ducts were in sight. Alicia screamed and was
gone in a blinding flash.

Later the host revealed feeling much safer in the house. I never
returned in all these years. Newspaper clippings from the time
explained it quite well. Alicia had been under psychiatric care and
confined to that house, her own. Morbid hallucinations racked her mind
because of drinking.

It was a shame the Catholic church buried her as an unclean soul.
Burlap dresses were often given to the dead considered taken charge of
demons. Her drinking came from having lost a husband two years before.
The house, big as any mansion, drove her insane with its emptiness.

No one saw the lady wearing a coarse dress that night. She was a cross
bared for an old friend. Father Julius, who couldn't perform exorcisms
now, felt apologetic for her. But no one ever recalls her story. The
brownstone on seventh has always been a little different, is all. Many
are the stories found in its walls, thank you for letting me share
this one.

onewhocares
Jul 11, 2009, 9:48 AM
Interesting Composition.

BrotherJack
Jul 11, 2009, 9:02 PM
Yeah...well....ummmm....uhhhhhh.....hmmmmm......um mm....Guess it's OK!!...ish!!

AdamKadmon43
Jul 11, 2009, 11:40 PM
It has been some time ago. I recall being asked for a story, though. Had an urge to scribble a bit this morning. Not much but BrotherJack, "yer welcome to read it so long as yepitktlonferus when I visit." Hopefully I'm not butchering Skosh, or you may understand it. If not, put us a kettle on when I visit. Tea or that damn Yank coffee is fine, even common tea. Meanwhile, please do read and enjoy this short story. Anyone else may read it as well. Comments & critiques are welcomed. But don't be offended or surprised if I do not reply to them. It's an odd habit of mine to let these birds go free. :)




Why don't you write a story for your mate BrotherJack which would convey a message about how inappropriate it is to harrass people and cyber stalk them and cyber bully them. Why do you not use your rather obvious creative talents to send a message that it is not ok to pick on people and belittle them and humiliate them in public. Write a story about the absurdity of taking out your personal problems with someone in front of the rest of the world. Why don't you do that?

void()
Jul 12, 2009, 12:58 AM
Often a simple and silent thank you suffices. Adam, surely I could. But I also offer readers something that I seek returned, respect. It is not any writer's business to create propaganda.

Or rather I ought say, any writer true to the craft of writing has no business doing such. And propaganda is defined as presenting absolutes, or moral judgments on others, or simply stating only one side of a story when in truth there are probably six or more. So, that's why I won't. I choose to not create such beasts, for my whim or anyone else.

Some folks might say that is wrong or arrogant. I think it's neither. It's only good mechanics. Strunk & White, Coleridge admonish writers to not inject opinion into their work. Who or what grants me, a humble being such a right as to espouse what I perceive unto others? No one nor nothing.

Apologies if these concepts are difficult to discern. Basically, I'm not a teacher or preacher, just some hack writer, all too human, same as us all.

BrotherJack
Jul 12, 2009, 4:44 AM
Why don't you write a story for your mate BrotherJack which would convey a message about how inappropriate it is to harrass people and cyber stalk them and cyber bully them. Why do you not use your rather obvious creative talents to send a message that it is not ok to pick on people and belittle them and humiliate them in public. Write a story about the absurdity of taking out your personal problems with someone in front of the rest of the world. Why don't you do that?

A little difficult to sort anything out in private with a man who just goes silent, unless he is at death's door or wants to talk and has lied solidly for three years and doesn't think it matters.

That's all I'll say. People know what you are like....on every site you go to....and I hope your latest hot tottie on Chatro soon cottons on....she certainly will when I meet her!!

Az......I like you too.....you're ace!!!

BrotherJack
Jul 12, 2009, 4:51 AM
Why don't you write a story for your mate BrotherJack which would convey a message about how inappropriate it is to harrass people and cyber stalk them and cyber bully them. Why do you not use your rather obvious creative talents to send a message that it is not ok to pick on people and belittle them and humiliate them in public. Write a story about the absurdity of taking out your personal problems with someone in front of the rest of the world. Why don't you do that?

It's a little difficult to discuss anything and sort problems out when the person will not talk and just walks away and casts one aside....yet still continues to enjoy their hedonistic pleasures. It's a little difficult when one has been lied to for over three years and the liar doesn't give a damn. It's a little distressing when what one thought was a close and loving friend turns out to be a dirty, rotten pathological liar. People here and at the other sites you visit, know exactly what you are like.....and the sad thing is...you don't care!!!!

Az........I like you too...you're ace!!!!!!!

BrotherJack
Jul 12, 2009, 4:55 AM
damn...thought I'd lost the post, so re-did it. Was going to delete the second one and then thought...what the hell.

By the way Void...I don't write anymore....I was inspired.......but the inspiration has been lost.........the inspirer took three years out of my life...and your reply to him was spot on.......gee...all he would do,,,is rant!!

rissababynta
Jul 12, 2009, 10:44 AM
Anywayz...

I liked it. Enjoyabe read there IMO.

pottzie
Jul 12, 2009, 3:48 PM
It made me think. And even if it's just "I think I'll have another beer." it still made me think.
Helluva story.