How to approach a friend? [Archive]

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bimatt70

Jun 30, 2009, 12:44 PM

bityme

Jun 30, 2009, 1:18 PM

I have a close friend, who along with me, makes jokes about Bi / Gay things. He does not know that I am Bi, and I am not sure how he would react. I am wondering if he is just making jokes, or if he is dropping hints that he is Bi too.

How should I approach him? If he is not Bi, I want to remain friends, but if he is Bi, we could take our friendship to another level.

Invitee him over to watch some porn, After a bit throw in a bi porn. Test his reaction, if is seems positive tell him that they turn you on at times. You can either discuss it further, or drop it. If he gets turned on by it, you can always ask if he would like to try it.:devil:

rissababynta

Jun 30, 2009, 1:31 PM

lmfao, men are weird. I never thought that a guy inviting another guy over simply to watch porn would be seen as something common. Guess you learn something knew everyday.

Bi-Zarro

Jun 30, 2009, 1:35 PM

lmfao, men are weird. I never thought that a guy inviting another guy over simply to watch porn would be seen as something common. Guess you learn something knew everyday.

I sure as hell never did it!

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Jun 30, 2009, 1:45 PM

Now dont you think if a guy invited you to come watch some porn that this wouldnt be a hint? lol
If he is responsive, then very cool Hon.
Hope all works out well for you, and that ya'll have a great time. :}
Cat

_Joe_

Jun 30, 2009, 1:52 PM

Buy him some Jack Daniels. Anything becomes possible then.

rissababynta

Jun 30, 2009, 2:00 PM

Buy him some Jack Daniels. Anything becomes possible then.

Ooooo Joe, I like the way you think ;)

DiamondDog

Jun 30, 2009, 3:59 PM

Come out to him and tell him about yourself. Keep in mind even if he is bisexual or gay he may not want to have sex with you at all.

Don't play games like asking him if he wants to watch porn or other stuff like that.

Also the whole Jack Daniel's thing is just creepy and having sex with someone who is drunk while you are sober or buzzed is having sex with someone who isn't consenting to it, illegal, and many people consider that to be date rape or sexual assault.

bimatt70

Jun 30, 2009, 4:24 PM

Thanks Diamond Dog. Probably the best thing to do, though potentially awkward.

_Joe_

Jun 30, 2009, 4:44 PM

Ooooo Joe, I like the way you think ;)

You'll love my cock-tails even more.

onewhocares

Jun 30, 2009, 7:35 PM

Buy him some Jack Daniels. Anything becomes possible then.

I do think that this comment made by Joe was done tongue in cheek....I never support the thoughts of getting someone tipsy to have your way with them. I do think that a drink or two does wonders to relax us.

Since I have never faced the issue that you speak of, I am not sure what I would do. Perhaps I, given the person that I am, I lay my cards out on the table. I might ask in a joking kind of a way....gee...what if.....then go from there with his response.

Belle

Realist

Jun 30, 2009, 7:41 PM

I have been known to use an "In the back door" approach, by relating to "someone" who did this, or that, making sure the person I was interested in, understood that I was discussing someone else. If they commented favorably about what I said, it let me know that they may be interested. If my comment brought forth their ire, I dropped the subject. It worked to break the ice on the beginning of more than one really good relationship.

Holmes

Jun 30, 2009, 8:09 PM

Wow, never invited someone to watch porn. I would find it a little odd. Must agree with the JAck comment I think all consent should be made sober so there is no "you got me drunk and took advantage of me " comments aftewards. YOu could always just say something like " I admire people who are comfortable nad know who they are" and see where it goes from there. My :2cents:

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Jun 30, 2009, 8:46 PM

Oh good grief DD, what Joe said was in jest. MOST of what Joe says is in jest.
Lighten up, Sugar.
Cat:cool:

KazeTora

Jun 30, 2009, 9:24 PM

I think if you really want to know where he stands just tell him that you're bi. If he is eventually he'll come to tell you. It happened to me. I didn't get with them but we became closer as friends. If you want to "test the waters a little you could tell him you find some actor to be good looking or hot for a guy and ask him if he thinks they're hot too. Then tell him you've been curious about what it would be like to do things with guys. See how he respondes. Don't let on that you're attracted to him until you are sure how he feels about it! Hope this helps :bipride:

someotherguy

Jul 1, 2009, 11:33 AM

Don't watch porn together. That's too risky. Rent a copy of the Wizard of Oz. Then when the munchkins come on, wonder aloud what it would be like to be that short. This will provide cover as you get down on your knees. Once you're down there ask to see his flying monkey. If he doesn't take the hint, no harm done, and you can pretend nothing happened because it didn't.

jeancarleo

Jul 1, 2009, 3:35 PM

Been there, done that.
At work, we fool around with gay jokes and i've gotten to the point where i feel attracted to another cook and ask him when we gonna hang out to do our thing but that's as far as we'll go. They know about me and respect me. Jokes are always there and make u laugh or smile even when they are about me. They don't offend me because i know they're just messing around.

As for asking a friend if he is because he says jokes and u share jokes of the same kind with him. I'm not sure. You could be hurt more if he reject you and what's worst if he don't want to be your friend any longer. Friends are suppose to love us for what we are right? It's up to you, if u feel comfortable and trust him enough to tell him about you

_Joe_

Jul 1, 2009, 4:11 PM

Thanks Cat.

If nobody knows yet, I would never suggest using booze to get your way.

I suggest darts you can blow into the back of their neck as they could always say "I don't drink"

DiamondDog

Jul 1, 2009, 11:17 PM

Oh good grief DD, what Joe said was in jest. MOST of what Joe says is in jest.
Lighten up, Sugar.
Cat:cool:

I didn't mean to be PC or go overkill but there are people who read these posts and they are either not members here or rarely post.

People are going to do what they want but there are people out there who have the fucked up idea that it's perfectly OK to get someone drunk and have sex with them. Let's not forget that booze is the #1 date rape drug and has caused more problems than Rhophynol or GHB have and it's perfectly legal and acceptable worldwide.

Imagine the reactions, flaming, and name calling people would have if someone asked how to get a woman they were friends with to have sex with them and someone jokingly suggested getting the woman drunk or suggested drinking liquor before sex?