Gay relationship or straight relationship

[Mobydick187]

So basically, first off I'm new to this site, and I wanna welcome everyone and be welcomed haha. I'm 22 gorgeous facial features that resemble tom cruise and a slim physique of 5'9 130 lbs, a college student and have been practicing a bisexual lifestyle for about 2 years now. My first sexual encounter began when I was 17, I was very in love with my girlfriend and high school sweetheart. That ended painfull, after a string of other painful relationships I decided that since I was always a little bi-curious I would date the same gender. What I found was that well, a male relationship is very sexual orientated at least dating guys my age. Currently however, I've met a much older professor at my college who in essence wants to be my sugar daddy. He's offered me alot of perks, a house to live in, a car, his disposable checkbook. Little does he know that I'm also dating a much older woman right now and the sex is mind numbing as well as the intimate attraction that we share. He's vocalized to me that he's okay with my bisexual needs as he is homosexual. However I'm not sure if I really want to be in a relationship or if I could ever be in a long term homosexual relationship. I'm very attracted to his personality but I sometimes question if I'm physically attracted to men, I'm not repulsed by a man, I don't mind having sex with him.. although intercourse can be painful for me. In my mind I always imagined myself in a hetero relationship as I am very attracted to females physically, but not always mentally. Anyhow, I'm just curious if anyone has had this type of confusion at some point in their life.

[Gay2Bi]

I'm in the opposite situation. I've been exclusively gay up until recently and haven't yet had my first experience with a woman. I picture myself in a gay relationship because I'm sexually and romantically attracted to men, but with women I'm not really sure I'm attracted to them per se, so much as I think I'd enjoy the physical act and I'm curious to find out if that's the case. Could I have a long-term relationship with a woman? Not sure. I won't rule it out, but I tend to think in terms of men when it comes to a LTR.

[Coastocoast]

It is wierd with me. I seem to really enjoy a woman when I am with her and I feel I am completly hetro and men are not interesting to me. Then when that relationship comes apart I seem to look for something different and have looked to men. I have not had a solid thing with a guy and it has always been more like the ongoing friends with benifits thing so I doubt I could ever limit myself to men in the long run. I feel I could limit myself to women if the relationships did not go sour and end. I guess I am rebound bisexual and always look 180 degrees the other direction when things go sour. At the moment I am solo and am open to what comes along.

[Herbwoman39]

First of all I'd like to welcome you to a place that has become a second home to most of us. You'll find many caring people here like you that will offer you kind advice and help you sort out your situations.

Second, if it hurts, use more lube. Even if you think it's enough, the byword is always LUBE :-) Lube, lube and MORE lube :-D

Third, I didn't come out of the closet as a bi woman until I was 37. I'm 42 now. I grew up during the whole Anita Bryant fiasco so when I was just discovering my attraction to women, the news media portrayed same sex attraction as being something "wrong" and I felt unsafe. So I justified my attraction as being artistic appreciation of the female form.

My point here is that sometimes it takes a while to puzzle out what's right for you. Take your time. You'll be just fine. Just use more lube ;-)

[BiSouth]

You are young, so don't sweat the details, just have fun. The previous poster had it right, if it is painful, use more lube. Use at least 4 times more than you think u need. Also, something u might try, and may be fun is to play with some toys to get warmed up , especially if u haven't done anything with a guy in a while. Besides toys are fun.

[jeancarleo]

I agree with the last post. You're too young to worry about gay or str8 relationship. Just enjoy yourself and be happy. I'm 30 now so I do want to marry a girl and have a kid someday but if i don't marry a girl i dunno if i could marry a guy. I like both so how about marrying 3? I think that won't be seen right by people but that's how most of us feel now.

[DiamondDog]

I have relationships and romance with men.

I don't want your typical relationship with a woman as a girlfriend or wife that's centered around vanilla sex and I do not personally want to live with a woman.

When I was younger I did want to try to have a relationship with a woman but I knew it would probably wind up in a divorce or I'd be unhappy and leave or cheat on her with men, or else I'd be totally faithful to her and sexually active with just her and be depressed and unhappy.

The intense times of sex when I'm attracted to women, followed by months of celibacy when I'm not attracted to women at all wouldn't be fair to her.

I'm also not into penetrating women with my penis and most women do seem to be into that for sex or their sexuality seems to revolve around penetration.

Penetration of a vagina with a tongue, toys, and my hand in her vagina would all be nice though.

I'd basically need kink/BDSM with women all the time we had sex and very few women want to do this either.

It would have to be an open relationship too and let's be real most women do not want open relationships or do not want to stay in one with their partner.

Plus even if she and I had MMF 3 ways all the time or if I was allowed to be with men I'd just want men more and it would never be enough at all, and I'd wind up in a nasty breakup and just wonder why I didn't just have a relationship with a man in the first place?

I feel content and happy with men and for the most part I do not want an open relationship at all but I'd be OK with a husband who I have MMF/MFM 3 ways with along with a bi-dyke fuck buddy who is into being our consensual submissive/switch who visits our dungeon a few times a year and that's the only time we have sex with other people, and it's just sex as he and I would have romance and a marriage/partnership/civil union together.

Mobydick-Does your sugar daddy know that you are cheating on him with that woman? Or do you have an open relationship like the don't ask don't tell type since you said he'd be OK with your bisexual needs as you put it?

Keep in mind that you may be feeling like this since you don't like having a sugar daddy or you may not even want this type of relationship?

Not everyone wants to be "kept" by a partner as far as finances, housing, or transportation goes or wants to feel obligated to keep a relationship going or put out and have sex with someone just because the other person provides for them.

I certainly love kink/BDSM, and being Dominant, submissive, a consensual Sir/Master, and switch but I have zero desire to have total control over someone's life or be owned/kept/bound or have someone completely bound and co-dependent on finances, housing, or transportation as I want a relationship of equals and as for BDSM/kink goes that's just for sex only.

[DiamondDog]

Moby-There are lots of ways to have sex with men and they don't involve anal sex both receptive and penetrative, and it's not a requirement. Have you tried talking to your partner? Good luck and welcome to the site.

[DiamondDog]

Also welcome to the site.