New & Curious

[Flgirl09]

So I'm new to the site & mostly joined because well I'm curious about my sexuality. I've been married for the past 2 years & with this man for almost 7 years. We are trying to start our family, but I'm a little worried because I don't find myself happy.

I've messed around with other girls in college & thought this was a "phase" that everyone would go through. But in the past year I've found my self lacking the desire in the bedroom. When we watch porn I'm always locked in on the girl & mostly prefer to watch girl on girl...which of course my hubby doesn't mind...but i just tell him I don't want to see another mans cock.

I'm confused & worried that I'm going to ruin this relationship with my desires all bottled up. But honestly I'm on the verge of sneaking out to the clubs with my best friend just so I can kiss another girl & fell that rush & passion again.

If anyone out there can help me with this I would greatly appreciate it. If not please just help me figure out how to make it to the next day without wanting to come across the counter and grabbing a beautiful girl by the neck and shoving my tongue down her throat that would be great.

[littlerayofsunshine]

Try being honest with your husband. Its ultimately the ideal way to be ....

[sassymomma]

Hi .. i agree. talk to him.
he might even suprise you and have some kind of "feelings' or thoughts as well.
most men dont have a prob if their woman wants to be with other women...
i guess its not like "cheating".

i have been bi for about 6 yrs now. we just had our first baby in 2007. so im looking to get back in the swing of things.

good luck with what ever you decide to do.

sometimes my hubby is all into what im doinmg and whom im wth. lol and so sometimes i just tell him im goimg to hang out with my friends.. haha

[Realist]

I agree, if you feel that way now, having a child certainly is not going to set your free for doing any research. Now is the best time to insure that you DO NOT get pregnant!

Look within yourself; the answer is there! Since you know the passion you had in college and know that you are not feeling that same passion for your husband, the time to do something is NOW! If you want him to be in your life and want to be with a lady, too, you should tell him.

But, if you no longer want to be married, this is time to tell him that, too. Whatever you do, don't cheat, because once that starts, you'll be looking over your shoulders forever. Lies snowball and not in a good way...I KNOW!

We understand you and only want you to make the right choices in your best light. Good luck to you and may the love you need soon be yours.

[Flgirl09]

Thank you so much for all your advice. How does one even begin to start that conversation. I'm so worried that he will just up & leave. We are 2 very stubborn people. And as far as him being in on it...that's where I get sketchy I don't know that I want him in on this side of my life. I love him & don't want to leave him but how do you say that you will be faithful with someone...but go out and have these other desires. UGH I'm just very frustrated sorry for venting all this out but it has been bottled up inside me for 6 years.

Should I go out and try this life on for a weekend & see if this truly is what I want before I even ruin this marriage? Or is that just a horrible idea that is going to open more doors of cheating?

As for the having kids side of things it's just in the talks stages now. I realllllly want to have children & start a family. But I need to be happy not a Stepford Wife.

[littlerayofsunshine]

you can create what you want.. If you want him... can come with sacrifices.. if he wants you... he may have to make his own decision.. but being fresh in a marriage and not having children tieing you down is one thing. Having the children creates a whole different set of problems.. If you feel you need to step outside the marriage for girl fun.. then you are setting yourself up for an even bigger heart break then "your just not the one for me"

I am bi, before I even considered my husband as a prospective person of interest I told him I was bi and that I would want to be with girls and if he thought for a second he couldn't handle it, well then I wasn't the girl for him.

So here I am almost 10 years later with the same guy.... I created it.. If you want something.. you have to aim for it and not leave someone in the lurch with deception...

So how to start... " Hunny, I have something to tell you, but I don't want you to be mad at me.. I have these feelings that I am not so sure about.." and carry on from there.

but be advised.. ONLY YOU know what you and your heart wants.. So what I want is for your happiness and wellbeing...

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Babygirl, you should have told him fro the get go, but I understand you being afraid to do so. TALK to him, dont cheat on him. Be true to yourself And him by being totally honest and letting him know how you feel. Just sit down and talk with him, or wait til your watching porn again and ease into like: "Would you mind if "I" did that someday? Its something I've wanted to do for years.."
See what his reaction would be, then go from there.
Good Luck no matter which way you wind up going. :}
Cat ;)

[Flgirl09]

I love the idea of bringing in while we are watching porn that is a great idea!! It's deffinatly better than sitting dow to dinner & Hey honey by the way "i think I may be Bi". I wish I would have listened to my desires 6 years ago than jump into this mess. But we live & we learn. I'm going to try & get the guts to take care of this this weekend. Thank you so much for your kind words.

Kisses for now!