Holy Shit---what a conversation I just had!!!!! [Archive]

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12voltman59

Jun 10, 2009, 4:54 PM

While checking out my email just a bit ago on Yahoo--this IM box popped up-I guess I have a new version of Yahoo since I got my PC back up running and had to get new versions of things.

The message came from a guy that I used to chat with on here--I don't recall his name--it had been some time since we had chatted on here.

He started by saying that he had gone through many changes in his life since he and I had lost chatted----from the best I can recall--probably well over a year.

He said he had divorced from his wife and did "go gay"---starting out by barebacking with just a few close buds--then becoming obsessed with, no other way to say it--but getting fucked as much as he could--doing the bathhouse thng---taking "tons of loads" from many nameless, faceless guys he said.

He admitted that he was "seeking getting pozzed!" as he put it.

Well--he got his wish-he is now HIV Poz and now this is the kicker----he says he is regularly fucking a number of guys--MARRIED GUYS--BAREBACK--and they are fully aware that he is Poz!!!! They sought him out!! He said the majority of the guys he is fucking are married!!! He says he is a busy man filling their requests and that many come back for several sessions with him!!!

He is also not taking any sort of meds at all----he said he is not yet to the point of having AIDS as yet--but he is no doubt on the road to that.

He said that there are lots of guys who are negative who seek out having unprotected sex with Poz guys--and that there are websites specializing in hooking up Poz and Neg guys!!

I guess I do live a sheltered life----I had no idea that this was such a growing thing---I don't understand it---I am glad that I am aware this does exist.

It is sort of sobering to think that there is a subculture where people are both seeking to spread this disease and worse---to get it!!!!!!!

The fact of sex is--even with protection or not--and no matter how trustworthy you think your partner or partners are---it is always one big crapshoot that you won't get something from them---but we do take that chance any time we have sex.

My feeling is--- I do take all precautions necessary to play safe--but that I will take the chance that I might contract HIV/AIDS from a partner----because if you have sex at all with anyone--there is always that chance that no matter how safe you play you can contract the disease---and if I got it from such activity---well--I will deal with it--but I am not going to seek it out obviously.

I just wanted to share this with the tribe----it opened my eyes---I am sure some of ya already are aware of this sort of thing--but for those who are like me and didn't really recgonize this exists--consider yourself now forewarned!!

texasman6172003

Jun 10, 2009, 5:06 PM

Yes Volty,Ihave been aware of this going on in the community.As far aS playing safe,i have not barebacked in years.And now only use a condom. Even when having oral sex,i will use a fruit flavored condom.And if someone sucks me,the same...

littlerayofsunshine

Jun 10, 2009, 5:24 PM

HIV/AIDs can be some scary shit. Most of us can play 6 degrees of POZ separation. I dated a guy once, we broke up.. and within a year he fell "in love" with a POZ girl and got it and then after they broke up he exposed another girl and got arrested and is currently in prison for knowingly exposing. And I was 15 when I met him, he was the same age, he was 16 when he became infected and the girl he infected was 14. Its a damn fucking shame that people put others lives at risk when they feel they have nothing else to live for or to give a shit about.

I tried to see if what your friend said is out in the open on google, but I get tired after like 16 pages. I quit looking. I only found one blog of a POZ guy that said he tells the dudes and if they say no prob he has no problem doing it. Turned my stomach....

My friends uncle had AIDS.. Had it for many years. Always sick..getting sicker..and then one day a flu or virus and *poof* gone....

but it is a fact that horny people, careless people. Do risky behavior. Thats why I am very picky about the guys/girls me and hubby play with. IF I hear, see, or read anything that suggest risky behavior.. We ain't playin. I can just imagine if my son were in a relationship and never got the chance to make the choice of saying "NO I don't want HIV." I would wanna kill the SOB that gave it to him.

Sex is a great marvelous gift from above, but it ain't worth dyin for. I got too much to love, and too much shit I wanna do before I bite the bullet.

I never would have thunk (yes I know its not a word) that neg would seek POZ. Its like suicide or torture for the ends of your life.

_Joe_

Jun 10, 2009, 5:47 PM

He said that there are lots of guys who are negative who seek out having unprotected sex with Poz guys--and that there are websites specializing in hooking up Poz and Neg guys!!

Somethingawful.com used to have a weekendweb, where they foudn the worst crap you could imagine on teh web and share tidbits of it, and one time they found one of those forums, where folks bragged how HIV+ they were, their low white blood cell count, etc etc, and bragged about how many more they infected.

It's like listening / reading those people that cut themselves to feel alive and love pain to feel positive but on a wholey larger fucked up scale.

**Peg**

Jun 10, 2009, 7:05 PM

I'm aware of this volty, and I salute you for posting it.

In my experience (I'm surrounded by teenagers here in my lil village) it's usually drugaddicted teens (of drugaddicted PARENTS) who are actively seeking POZ peeps.... why, I have no clue.

Pathetic. and very sad.

onewhocares

Jun 10, 2009, 7:26 PM

Volty,

I guess like you I live a VERY sheltered life to think that there are people in this lifestyle to activley seek someone who is infected but worse still are those who wish to infect others. Granted I do not sleep with many men, but I insist upon condoms. Time has passed for fear of pregnancy, now there is fear of death. Be safe, play safe and BE RESPONSIBLE.

Belle

MissyMissy

Jun 10, 2009, 8:33 PM

cringes

_Joe_

Jun 10, 2009, 9:20 PM

One could argue it is along with the narcisstic trend that seems to be all around us, that everyones has the ME ME ME attitude and expects things handed to them for their situation, and the more attention (negative or positive) you can pull your way to improve your social standing and increase your ability to fill your mememeisms, is get the grandaddy of all things... HIV ?

I dunno.

It's very tough to understand why someone would do that to themselves, and then be so proud of it and draw all that attention to themselves. THere's actually a medical condition or psychological term for people that damage their bodies - even as far as try and get amputations - to somehow bring attention to themselves or make them feel "Special". this seems like the same thing but its so hard hittnig because it takes TWO to complete this desire, and those two pretty much fucking each other.

12voltman59

Jun 10, 2009, 9:45 PM

Yep. They's called bug chasers. Freakin' Absurd.

That is the term he used for himself and others who engage in this activity!

Cherokee_Mountaincat

Jun 10, 2009, 10:06 PM

Just fuckin sick. Thats all I can say about this...
Cat

jem_is_bi

Jun 10, 2009, 10:29 PM

It would be great if we could protect ourselfs from the bug chasers and bug givers without screwing ourselves.

Bi-Zarro

Jun 11, 2009, 12:50 AM

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Archive/Other/Q185485.html

12voltman59

Jun 11, 2009, 1:23 AM

Well Bizarro---that story that most of the "bug chasers" are merely fantasizing is interesting--this guy might have been BSing me about his condition----but he seemed legit---he said that it was something that came upon him over time--the more sex he had with guys---the feeling he wanted to "be pozzed" got as strong as his desire to have sex with as many guys as possible--of course unprotected sex.

You have to admit--that if one is going to bathhouses and becomes a "cum dump" like I do think some guys do when they go to such places----then the chance you are going to be infected is very high.

To engage in sex of that nature--lots of sexual contacts with people you don't even know--it is a sort of suicidal urge that is at play.

He said that he hangs with a group of guys who are positive who play this game---like I said-he very likely might have been totally BSing me--but I didn't really get a sense that he was.

Shhhhh 47/F/usa

Jun 11, 2009, 12:40 PM

Very interesting and disturbing pathology is at play here. I am shocked to know that sort of thing goes on regardless of how small the sub-sub culture is.

bret5668

Jun 11, 2009, 1:00 PM

simply beyond the realm of rational thinking, this is insane. they may as well purposely step in the street in front of a speeding car, same result.

diB4u

Jun 11, 2009, 2:44 PM

Yeah i've heard of people doing that knowing full well that they're putting their health at risk.

Why?

Simply being, in the western world the AIDS issue is or has been resolved to talking pills to prolong life.

Yet these individuals are quiet clearly not mad but dangerous, AIDS can not be stopped or cured by the anti retroviral drugs just slowed down.

This is really sad that this man is putting others at risk, just cause they wanna feel a man cum inside them. Seriously, these men who are closetted need a reality check, they're putting their wives in danger.

And accorrding to WHO (or some organisation like that ...UN?) this can be classified as Manslaughter and the person this man can be put into jail.

Anyhow, really having relationship with a + person is one thing, willfully having bareback sex with unpostive ppl and then transmitting the virus is just plane wrong, illogical, illegal and inmorral...its that sterotype which helps to spread the negative image of homosexuality and bisexuality.

:2cents:

DiamondDog

Jun 11, 2009, 6:38 PM

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Archive/Other/Q185485.html

Bug chasing is not simply a fantasy or something that really doesn't happen like the link on thebody.com says.

There are even websites devoted to it and you'll see ads on Craigslist about it but the people don't exactly say that they are bug chasers or are looking to become Poz but it's clear that they want this since they will place ads like "Looking to get seeded, door's unlocked taking any and all cumers I'll be in the bedroom blindfolded just go in fuck me and unload in my ass and leave."

Get out from under the rocks that you're living under and take your blinders off and realize that this sort of thing does happen.

It may not happen in your reality but it does happen, it's not rare, and there are people out there who want to become HIV+ for whatever demented reason they want to claim that it would be a good thing for them.

There are also people out there who are HIV+ and fully well know it yet lie and say that they are HIV negative.

Yes there are people who are Poz and are open about it and I commend them for it but some who are Poz feel like the world hates them and lie about it even though it's very obvious to people who know the signs that they are HIV+.

I realize that you can't tell by looking at someone and tell if they are HIV+ or not but there are certain tattoos or side effects from the medications on someone's body that show that they are HIV+ or sometimes they will hint about it but they do not say that they are Poz.

I've encountered real bug chasers online and I've met them in reality, and a friend of mine met some who celebrated the fact that they were now HIV+ by having a bareback orgy/sex party.

If you've seen bareback porns in recent years the people who do those are pretty much all Poz, have death wishes, and do not care about their health or the health of others or what strains of HIV they have or will get from others.

No I'm not sexually active with bug chasers. I just have encountered them online and in reality. I know one guy who is an anal sex bottom who goes to campgrounds and has bareback sex with Poz men and tries to get as many loads as he can in his ass and he keeps track.

This isn't just a gay/bisexual male thing either I have encountered women who knowingly had unprotected vaginal intercourse with people who are at high risk for HIV like IV drug users who share needles. Also people who are big into meth and the whole bareback PNP thing are usually HIV+ or don't care if they get it or not. Also you don't have to PNP just on meth having sex while drunk or stoned would count too as all drugs lower your inhibitions and you may or may not do things sexually that you would not do sober.

You can even argue that someone who is HIV Negative and knowingly engages in unprotected sex with someone who is HIV poz is a bug chaser.

My Poz friends tell me how they'd consider someone who is HIV Neg who wants to have unprotected sex with them to be a bug chaser but they only have sex with other HIV Poz people.

A lot of times they want to become HIV+ for attention, for benefits like disability, for housing, they think that it will make them closer and forever linked to their partner at the time who is HIV+, or for whatever other warped reasons that they have decided why they want to become HIV+.

Sometimes it's horrible depression, conformity, and all of their close friends are Poz so they want to become like them. Sometimes it's because they have a death wish or are highly self destructive.

Many times they think that becoming POZ is just going to happen anyway so they might as well get it out of the way and that it's just a part of being queer.

Others have the illusion that if you are Poz that you just take one pill a day and that it's like taking a daily vitamin and they don't realize that the medications for treating HIV are very toxic to the body just like chemotherapy and have horrible side effects and that you have to keep taking them in order for them to work.

Some of them see becoming HIV+ as freedom from the fear of seroconversion or they foolishly have the idea that just because they are HIV+ that they do not have to use condoms/safer sex with other HIV+ people but that's not true since you can get and pass on other strains of HIV and other STDs as well.

Then there are the HIV NEG men who think that they will not get HIV at all or that they're not at risk for it if they are the person who gives or who is active in bareback Anal or vaginal sex to a man or a woman. There are also people who think that you can't get HIV at all from oral sex and that it's 100% safe to swallow cum or get it in your mouth and that's wrong.

There are A LOT of straight and even bisexual women who think that it's 100% safe to swallow anyone and it's disturbing how many straight women are into barebacking randomly with any guy.

A lot of times when an HIV NEG person willingly barebacks with someone who is POZ, or they bareback/have unprotected sex with someone who does not want to use any barriers at all, they go full well into it knowing that they are not going to stay HIV negative.

Likewise the people who just willingly bareback or swallow cum with anyone know full well that they are not going to stay HIV negative.

It's 2009, not 1979 and everyone knows about safer sex and condoms and how to have safer oral sex with men and women, and how they should be using condoms for anal and vaginal intercourse.

There's actually a documentary out about people who want to become HIV+ and it's called "The Gift". I suggest that you watch it.

gfofbiguy

Jun 11, 2009, 6:52 PM

There's actually a documentary out about people who want to become HIV+ and it's called "The Gift". I suggest that you watch it.

http://www.thegiftdocumentary.org/

Back to the OP, I know this shouldn't shock me, and I have heard it happening, but still every time I hear of it, it still shocks me. I guess it's hard for me to understand why someone would have such disregard for their own life, as well as the lives of others.

rissababynta

Jun 12, 2009, 9:33 AM

rissababynta

Jun 12, 2009, 9:39 AM

http://www.alternativesmagazine.com/15/hill.html
somewhat interesting here...

12voltman59

Jun 12, 2009, 11:16 AM

Rissa--that was a great article-thanks for posting the link to it---I do agree with many of the points the author raised and as I told the guy I had the conversation with-----as sad as it is to say----what "bug chasers" are doing is really just an extension on the micro level of what is happening in society on the macro level----we continue to grow our planer's population to an unsustainable level--to such a degree that we are going to be adding a few more billion people in just the next few decades to the point that it has been noted by scientists---we are going to need another two or three earths to support such a population size---I know that we have those who don't believe the "global warming thing" but the evidence is strong (if one cares to view it objectively) that human activity is indeed causing that situation and we are not really doing anything to curtail it (if it is possible to do so) and that we might have already gone beyond "the tiltiing point" in that regard----it cannot be argued that humans are indeed doing suicidal things like overfishing the worlds oceans, using our limited precious freshwater resources up to the point that future populations at just our current population levels are going to run out--tens of millions of people all over the world already do not have ready access to clean, potable water, let alone the several billion more coming people on the planet that will be needing fresh water----so it can be reasonably argued that as a species and as a worldwide society--we are on a suicidal path in many ways----so those who are bug chasers, smoke too much or are obese and eat horrible foods are all just different manifestations of the same mental condition.

I guess we should not be too surprised that "bug chasing" goes on.

As to some of the comments that Diamond Dog made regarding that people need to take off the blinders about such a thing as "bug chasing"--the way you put it was a bit harsh and of course----as I admitted--I was not aware beyond a cursory way that this was something that does go on-----and I am sure that for many here---they didn't know about this either----I mean not all of us are privy to your wealth of experience with certain aspects of "gay life" as you are DD----forgive us our ignorance!!

We know now this is so --my purpose of the post was to inform others of something I had just been made aware of myself---and while I was sure that some people on here knew of this---many more were like me--they had no fracking idea this was going on.

NYRangersFan

Jun 12, 2009, 2:16 PM

who the hell would want to be HIV positive???? seriously it isn't fun you get sick and it is painful! WHy would you put your family through this? People who do this seriously need to seek out help... cause that is so selfish and messed up. It's a drawn out suicide! ANd actively seeking it out??? esp the ones with families are even more fucked up... they don't think about their wives or kids?

i don't want to meet any of the stupid people who want this cause i don't know what i would do

gfofbiguy

Jun 12, 2009, 2:19 PM

Personally, if you want a disease, I don't give a flying fuck. Go ahead and live it up. The only thing that pisses me off is wanting to get infected so you can go spread it. Uh hello?!?! There are some people who actually DON'T want to be infected thank you very much. And I'm sorry, but those married men just deserve to have their dicks lopped off...

I've been thinking about this off and on since yesterday, and just am getting more and more pissed off re: the married men. Who gives them the right to put their wife in danger like that?? I agree with you, Rissa...

I've also ordered that documentary The Gift from Netflix - should be getting it this weekend...

cpadmitchell

Jun 12, 2009, 3:40 PM

Somehow, I prefer staying disease free, and having a longer life. This is no better than committing suicide--only a very slow one at that.

sQuee

Jun 13, 2009, 8:43 AM

Personally, if you want a disease, I don't give a flying fuck. Go ahead and live it up. The only thing that pisses me off is wanting to get infected so you can go spread it. Uh hello?!?! There are some people who actually DON'T want to be infected thank you very much. And I'm sorry, but those married men just deserve to have their dicks lopped off...

Yes, i completely agree on the married men bit. Getting yourself sick is one thing, getting others sick is just...i don't know...there are literally no words to really illustrate how i feel on this.

DiamondDog

Jun 13, 2009, 6:25 PM

As to some of the comments that Diamond Dog made regarding that people need to take off the blinders about such a thing as "bug chasing"--the way you put it was a bit harsh and of course----as I admitted--I was not aware beyond a cursory way that this was something that does go on-----and I am sure that for many here---they didn't know about this either----I mean not all of us are privy to your wealth of experience with certain aspects of "gay life" as you are DD----forgive us our ignorance!!

We know now this is so --my purpose of the post was to inform others of something I had just been made aware of myself---and while I was sure that some people on here knew of this---many more were like me--they had no fracking idea this was going on.

It's not a gay or bisexual male thing as you assume. It's a human thing.

There are heterosexual women who are Poz and know it and infect men and their husband , boyfriend, or other male partners that they have.

Despite what many people think and try to deny that it does not happen or that it's rare, yes you can get HIV from heterosexual sex and women can give it to men.

I read an article about older rich white women from the UK going to Africa and having sex with younger black male prostitutes there and they didn't use condoms.

What makes people assume that the wives/girlfriends don't know? Or that these men are even sexually active with their girlfriend/wife? When a gay man marries a woman the relationship usually does turn celibate, and it can be like this for bisexual men who marry women as well.

Who knows if these men are even married to women and aren't married to men? Or that they are even married/partnered at all?

In some cases I'm sure that their partner knows that their husband/boyfriend/partner is cheating on them and barebacks or swallows.

I've heard of men who became HIV+ and the wife fully knew and didn't care and still had sex without condoms with him and did not care if she seroconverted or not.

I'm not condoning what these people do at all as it's sick and they're trivializing a life changing disease but I do feel that people who want to become Poz need help.

MissyMissy

Jun 13, 2009, 10:23 PM

still cringes....

TaylorMade

Jun 13, 2009, 11:33 PM

Herbwoman39

Jun 14, 2009, 12:44 AM

I am truly horrified beyond belief. I think I'm going to vomit. I had heard rumors that such people were out there but I had NO idea that it was so prevalent. It just makes me want to crawl back into the closet and stay there. <shudders>

Sissyphus

Jun 14, 2009, 6:51 PM

This is likely the most depressing thing I've heard about all year.

I'm glad I now know about this sub-subculture, though.

jcorlando

Jun 15, 2009, 10:51 AM

Thanks for sharing that Volty. This is very disturbing, specially if this nut is having unprotected sex with someone that is not aware of his POZ status; the others that seek him out, sick as they are, will get what they want.
In closing, this makes a very sane argument for masturbation and sensual massage, probably the only forms of safe sex left. Cheers!