Who says Scots romance is dead?

[**Peg**]

I've been told these are REAL ADS from the lonely-hearts column.


Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08


Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03


Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, cigs, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .


Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41


Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few pints, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87


Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32


Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45


Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27


Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07


Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41


Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

lol These people gotta get out more, Ya'll....lol:rolleyes:
Cat

[showmeguy]

It occurs to me that possibly the reason this thread has attracted so few replies is because people are asking "What is wrong with that?" :)

Which just goes to prove



they don't understand the Scots :)

[BrotherJack]

lol These people gotta get out more, Ya'll....lol:rolleyes:
Cat

Oh, Cat...those fake lonely hearts requets, that some or one person must have placed are really funny. It just shows that there are still people out there with a sense of humour. I'm not sure which was the funniest....they all made me smile.

Thank you Peg!

[FalconAngel]

It occurs to me that possibly the reason this thread has attracted so few replies is because people are asking "What is wrong with that?" :)

Which just goes to prove



they don't understand the Scots :)


Then again, there are some of us that do and just cannot add anything to it.

[Halvdan]

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27

I love it! Nothing better than truth in advertising. Whats scary is that there is a part of Orkey that's so much more miserable than the rest that it qualifies as the arse end.

[Realist]

"they don't understand the Scots"


My grandfather was a Scotsman and you're right, I didn't understand him! His speech was as thick as molasses and, although he was a very smart man, he was one sitingy sucker, too! At 13, I mowed his yard with a push-reel-type mower. Took me over two hours...he gave me a quarter and I know he felt generous as hell!!

[mariersa]

That's all horny boy nonsense, although I always buy one of those fantastic sweaters, but I do have a fantastic sales clerk, who loves too fit it "properly":tong::tong::tong:

[BrotherJack]

I love it! Nothing better than truth in advertising. Whats scary is that there is a part of Orkey that's so much more miserable than the rest that it qualifies as the arse end.

Scratches my head...umm....Halvdan, you're not actually thinking that the Lonely Hearts Column entries, posted by Peg, are serious..are you???

They are someone's or maybe more than one person's idea of having a little fun. Heh...they succeded. They are very funny. Someone had a good sense of humour....but was he/she Scottish?

The Scottish sense of humour has always fallen flat for me.....I don't know if they have one? I know they do...really I do...but I've never understood it.

Chick Murray was a funny man though...and he was Scottish. Long gone though.

[conswala1987]

there brillant! really funny!!!!:bigrin:

[tatooedpunk]

Where do i start,peg i am disapointed in you for posting this.
I am Scottish for those of you who dont know me,i know our image to the rest of the world is the drunken ned(look it up) i would point to our contribution to modern society (television anyone!)
Before you shoot me down for having no sense of humour how would you like your state town part of the world broken down to a stereotype,that is tantamount to racism

[FalconAngel]

Where do i start,peg i am disapointed in you for posting this.
I am Scottish for those of you who dont know me,i know our image to the rest of the world is the drunken ned(look it up) i would point to our contribution to modern society (television anyone!)
Before you shoot me down for having no sense of humour how would you like your state town part of the world broken down to a stereotype,that is tantamount to racism


We Live in Florida, so it's already been done here. Over and over again. :eek::tongue::bigrin:

[**Peg**]

.......I am Scottish for those of you who dont know me,i know our image to the rest of the world is the drunken ned(look it up) i would point to our contribution to modern society (television anyone!)
Before you shoot me down for having no sense of humour how would you like your state town part of the world broken down to a stereotype,that is tantamount to racism



no tat, that stereotype is of the IRISH (which I am). The ads would be hilarious to me no matter WHAT the nationality...I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't create.... although as an editor I should probably have entitled the thread simply "who says romance is dead"... so, don't shoot the messenger, for I copy/pasted that EXACTLY as I received it.

and Brother Jack: read the sentence above.

[BrotherJack]

no tat, that stereotype is of the IRISH (which I am). The ads would be hilarious to me no matter WHAT the nationality...I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't create.... although as an editor I should probably have entitled the thread simply "who says romance is dead"... so, don't shoot the messenger, for I copy/pasted that EXACTLY as I received it.

and Brother Jack: read the sentence above.

Peg, maybe it has something to do with a generation gap and also a bowing down far too much to political correctness. You are quite right, the ''ads'' would have been funny, in which ever country's newpaper they had been published.

If someone had the sense of humour that created the ads (and I really don't think they can be genuine requests), then it is nice to see that kind of humour.

How sad that there are people around, nowadays who think that every word and every action, must not only be thought about in advance and written down in triplicate, but that there should be some form of official approval and maybe, even censorship.

Life is becoming far less free and many wonder when our very thoughts will be scanned. We should be allowed to be human, have a sense of humour, jest, tease, joke and maybe not always in good taste.

Everyone with any sense knows what is really very wrong and should not be encouraged, or in extreme cases, allowed. For people to criricise you for adding a little light to a sometimes, very dark world, is ridiculous.

Thank you for posting the ads. They were funny. If you find any more...and from wherever.....make sure that you copy and paste those, too.

[ShyLassUk]

lmfao they made me laff ty hun xxx

[darkeyes]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa.. will teach me 2 take a wee break from .com.. kno Punkie didn like it much but ya get stuff on telly like that 'ere a lot.. Rab C Nesbitt for a start... its Scots Humour ok... very earthy...

God..me sides hurt.. hahahahahahahahahaha:bigrin:

[TwylaTwobits]

ROFLMAO I somehow missed this too, must have been when cable was out when they mistakenly cut through that line down in Atlanta. Thanks for bumping it Fran, I laughed so hard.

[darkeyes]

ROFLMAO I somehow missed this too, must have been when cable was out when they mistakenly cut through that line down in Atlanta. Thanks for bumping it Fran, I laughed so hard.

Not all the credit is down 2 me.. wos lookin 2 c who wos on line an sum 1 wos lookin at it.. had 2 hav lil peek.. cos me didn memba it..an shudnta bothad cos me thinks me has now got a hernia wiv the laffin..

They mite b sterotypes ok twyla.. but believe me ther r peeps who fit the sterotype.. an it is the sorta stuff peeps, guys moren us but women an all, share wile havin a laff in a pub or even jus in the street..

.. but havta b fair.. mos Scots guys r NOT quite that bad ya'll b glad 2 hear.. is humour an is extremes.. but is very very funny...:bigrin:

[Donkey_burger]

Yeah, this would been funny no matter the ethnicity targeted.

DB :bipride:

[TwylaTwobits]

I appreciate humor in all forms, the key is it's gotta be funny. This was and yeah Fran, Duckie was born a Scot, so I'm well aware of all the humor and the benefit of the nice third leg ')

[darkeyes]

So we kinda hav summat else in common then Twyla.. u wivya "of the MacAndrews" an me "x of a MacAndrew". Mine wos luffly an all but lil bit ole fashioned an staid.. but nicer more generous man ya nev met.. am ev so glad we cud kissie n make up afta we divorced.. least me don havta put up wiv Dragon Drawers ne more.. :bigrin:

[TwylaTwobits]

More than you know, Fran, Duckie refers to his mom as a dragon too... damn I'm scared.