I want to say thanks

[csrakate]

As many of you know, I have been the target of some vicious verbal attacks this past week by a couple of unsavory characters who seem to have issues with my being a straight woman on a bisexual site. While I tried to take these comments in stride, the words used were hurtful and I began to have doubts as to whether or not I should be here. I came to this site to learn more about my husband's bisexuality and since being here, I not only understand him a great deal more, I know and understand a great deal more about myself. In this learning process I have developed some wonderful friendships and find my time in the chat room to be most enjoyable (sometimes too much since one of my "not so close friends" commented that I seem to spend way too much time in the chat room and need to get a life! LOL!)

But the main purpose of this thread is to thank all of you for accepting me for who and what I am...for allowing me to spend time here and learn more...for permitting me to perhaps lend a shoulder to someone who is in need...for opening your hearts and being my friends and my family when I am in need of help myself. And to those of you who were in the chat room at the time I was told I didn't belong, thanks for making me realize that I do belong. Thanks to Drew for taking the necessary steps to halt the attacks in a timely manner...for being the brains behind a site like this one...and for giving us all a safe place to come to share and to learn.

Many hugs to you all...and many thanks for giving me all that you have!

Kate :) ;)

[meteast chick]

Kate,

We all love you dear. Kudos for standing up for yourself. Cheers for trying to understand your husband and this sexuality better. You've been loads of help to people who want to know the opposite side of it, and I know you are not the only one of your kind on this site, you just put yourself out there more.

Poo on those who don't understand. In this case, ignorance is not bliss, it just equates to stupidity.

[Lisa (va)]

These 'unsavory characters' have no character. As far as I am concerned ALL are welcome regardless of their orientation or any other from of labeling. Folks here seem to want acceptance for being bi, but like most things in life it's a two way street, and we (bi's) should respect your choice of being 'straight'. It's not my place or anyone's elses to judge others, I don't expect others to tell me how to lead my life and have no intention of telling others how to lead theirs.
For a "straight" lady you seem to be a strong pillar in this small community and very much love by most if not all that visit here. I hope you always feel as if you are welcome here, because you are.

WELCOME Kate

Lisa
hugs n kisses

[likalotapuss]

You would think, on a site like Bisexual.com, that people would not be so quick to judge others. After all, what we talk about so often on here is how people judge us and think that we are not "normal" being that we are bisexual, gay or lesbian. I have one thing to say about that:

PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES!"

With that being said.... Kate, I know personally, when I sign on and see you in chat, I am super excited to get there and give you a big ol' virtual hug! You are one of the handful here that make me feel comfortable, safe and loved for who I am. Thanks for that!

You are the bomb-diggety, don't listen to those who tell you otherwise!
(((((((((((((Kate))))))))))))

Love, Angie :2cents:

[rupertbare]

Kate - you're STRAIGHT!! OMG!!! What are you doing on here!!!????
lol!!!! :)

Dear Kate - I'm so sorry to hear about the hassles - seems so unlike this site but do accept BIG ((((((HUGS))))) and heaps of love from the UK

Your cyber-friend

Rupe :) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[2ferinindy]

Kate,
I'm sorry to hear you've been picked on for your orientataion! You would think the ones doing it would see a parallel. hmmm. As you know, I'm here for the same reason as you. Supporting and understanding my bi husband. Forget them if they can't see that as a good thing. I know for a fact that others on this site respect you a great deal. :grouphug:

[rumple4skin]

Kate,
I know it has happened more than once but the time I was in the chat and saw someone direct cruel and vicious remarks at you I was shocked that this person would say the things he said without any provocation at all. I was also pissed and would have liked to reach out and touch him – but not in a nice way :mad: You have always been kind and supportive of others in the chat and in your posts. You came here to learn about your husband and have leaned about yourself in the process. That sounds great to me. You also share your experience with others, which to me is an important ingredient in any community. In the short time I have been coming here I have gained different perspectives from your posts. I thank you for that.

As far as this person saying “get a life”. Lets look at the source here. Here we had a guy that joined a chat it seems only to pick a fight with you and then started bashing everyone he could. You come here to chat with friends and lend support. He came here to attack and bash. Who really needs to get a life in this scenario? How sad it must be for him to have to go to a chat to pick a fight. I almost feel bad for him except for the fact that he attacked someone that I think is a remarkable person.
I applaud you for standing up for yourself and your husband. You are not only welcomed you are needed here. It is obvious from all the people that love you here including me. People like him should stay away unless they are willing to open their mind and learn something and stop being a nuisance.

Sorry for the long post but I feel pretty strongly about this. I am looking forward to getting to know you better Kate.

Hugs,
Rumple

[jo69guy]

I didn't realize you were straight myself. lol. I applaud you for trying to understand your husband, and hope that in general we have helped some. I have been saying for some time, that if my ex-wife would have remained open-minded, we might not have parted. Again, I applaud you, Mrs.F, and all the ladies who are being supportive, and trying to help!

Women like you are 1 in a million!

I missed the hassells I'm afraid, but know that you have many friends here as well!

:2cents: :flag2:

[nubiwoman]

hey Kate,

how unpleasant for you :(

... i'm glad to hear that your oppressors have been dealt with and your (super!)membership on the site has been well and truly vindicated...

... i only know you through your contributions to the forums and guess it may be helpful just now for you to hear that i always value your input...

....well done for weathering the storm hun.. nothing so queer as folk eh ;)

julie xx

[huneypot]

Mummy sweetie.
god im glad i wasn't here as i think i would have been booted from the site for the things i would have said to them.
ASSHOLES is all i have to say about them, this site is for everyone, EVERYONE.
Ur a good friend to so so many, u have helped so so many and usually have us in tears laughing in the chat room. Kate, we all think the world of u.
Im afraid if u try leave ill have to send the cops to find u.

I think u should shame them and name them so we can all have a go
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
sorry just gets my back up so bloody much. :mad:

i Luves ya hun. always be u.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((mum)))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))
(muah,slurp,hugz,grops,snuggles,kisses,fondles and pinches on the sexy ass)
see im still trying(sigh) lmao :tong:

ur friend
Huney
xxx
xx
x
:bigrin:

[ladydelanie]

Kate,

Wow!! I am so sorry I was not there for you, me being one of the other straight people on this site.
I know what a wonderful and caring person you are.
So many of us in the chat do! I'm sorry someone,no matter what their feelings were had to be so ignorant.
I have, in the past been judged harshly for coming in here....You know what Kate.......I DONT care anymore!.......The people in here are so wonderful, for the most part.....lol.....and I love them dearly!
I hope they all know it too!!!... :) ...I dont judge others and please dont let this make you stop coming in here......At least you have a reason!.....I am just a .....What is that you called me Allbi?.....LMAO!!.....

Love ya Kate.....My dear dear friend!!.......Hugs .....Ladyd

[arana]

I'm sorry you had to endure such hatefullness Kate. Being the recipient of similar thrashings I know how you must feel. It's quite unsettling to be attacked out of the blue and have no clue why. Look on the bright side, at least you're a straight person in a bisexual site so there is a little insight. I'm not saying it's a good insight but it's there. Maybe those that are over the top have been to straight sites and been accosted so they feel they have the right to do it to someone as well. Everyone has their reason's for being here and I know that the straight person is the hardest for some to relate to. The standard answer is "To understand my spouse" but that only goes so far when they see this person cyber, go thru members, etc. I know you understand this part Kate, but I can see the fingers primping and knuckles cracking for rebuttal now. Then there are the straight people who have straight spouses that confuses some even more because they don't understand why these people don't go to a straight sight. I'm not saying these reason's are right, especially not to the extent of being so hostile. I guess some just don't understand the feeling a person can get when they go somewhere and are made so welcome that they feel a part of that community and want to continue with it. Everyone is here for a reason, even if they don't wish to say exactly what it is, but the hostility toward someone for an exterior appearance or words is not reason enough for such actions. :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: Sorry, I had a little more than 2 cents worth.

[allbimyself]

(((((((((((((((( kate ))))))))))))))))))

You are more welcome here as a caring, friendly str8 person than any bisexual that would do something like that.

Lovs ya

allbi

PS I won't call you my pet name for you here, some folks might not understand LOL

[aut17umn]

lady you know what you are hon. you are a //38 LOL

[ladydelanie]

LOL!!!!!!!...........you brat!.......besides it didnt work.......you Pumpkin Head!....... :tong:

[Mrs.F]

I'm sorry Kate that someone was that horrible to you. I guess I don't understand why people have to set out to hurt others on purpose. There is no reason for that.
Like arana said, we are all here for different reasons. And I came here as the standard "understand my spouse" reason. Although, why I continue to visit the site is not for that reason anymore. It's because I do understand him now and in the process of all that, have met many wonderful friends here.

Kate, you were the first person I talked to when I found out about my husband. You were the one who made me feel that every emotion I was having was normal and that in time things would get better. If not hearing that from a straight woman like me who had been through it....who know's what I would be feeling right now and where our relationship would be. I was lost and hurt. My husband felt I needed to talk to someone who had been there and done that. I'm glad he brought me here.

I don't see why it matters why anyone visits here. Can't we all just get along? :rolleyes:

And personally, the chat room would not be the same without you. :(

Mrs.F

[Michael623]

I for one am not aware of what was said. Unsavory people, what is that?

[moonlitwish]

Awww, Kate!!! I'm so sorry that there are ppl out there that would talk so rude to you on this site. Straight you may be, but you are one of the most welcoming and loving ppl on this site. And for that, I say you belong here. :bigrin: For without loving ppl, we have no community. I'd rather talk to a sweet, loving straight person any day than a rude bi. I think most of us would. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) ))))))))) because you deserve it!!

[codybear3]

Kate...I don't know what I find more bothersome about this situation....That anybody on this site would be verbally attacked for being "str8" on a bisexual site or that there are some jackasses out there that go around bullying people while hiding behind their monitors and keyboards. You have many friends here that will stand by your side. Some did not even know you were str8... :rolleyes: ...I have run across you in the chat room but don't chat much cuz I type too slow...But in the end, you should brush aside the doubts you have about being here and continue to be who you have always been. I, for one, accept you as you are and you can count on me to stand by you whenever you need me... :paw: :paw:

[searchingbrian]

Kate,
I don't know who it is that is giving you such a hard time, but they don't belong here. This site is about acceptance and understanding whether you are straight, gay, bi or whatever. I hope that these jerks don't change your mind about the site and the rest of us here. I know that whenever I enter the chatroom (like Likalot) and I see your name, I just get this big smile on my face :) :) :) :) !! There is nothing like a ((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))) from Kate to make you feel better. I hope that the rest of us can do this samet thing for you. NO ONE should be making ANYONE feel bad here. This is our sanctuary.

Hope we all still will see you in the chat room!!!

Hugs & Kisses
:three: :three: :three:
Bri

[sailorashore]

Kate~~~
sorry to hear it, hon. Don't let 'em get to you, you are as welcome here as anyone, and you know it. You're one of the first people I met here, and have always been most supportive of all of us. Don't pay attention to the losers who would harass you~~they do not speak for anyone but themselves.
We love ya, sailorashore

[bigregory]

We are gifted here.
Of the whole- world wide web - this is like home.
Its sad and makes me angry that someone would try to hurt a family member.
Yes kate, like the rest of the dumm dumms here you are family.
Bi str8 gay les trans
I just gosh darn love you all.
Kisses to the overlord Drew for helping Kate
And a big KISS to my other family,all of you. :grouphug:

[Jmf011287]

Kate,

No matter a persons orientation, or way of life, they should be accepted for who the are. And I for one am glad you came to learn. Im upset that people behaved in a manner befiting the sub human species that they might be. :disgust: No matter what I, and the rest of the friends you have made here, will always be here for you. you are such a sweetheart and i am glad we are friends. and you know i have your back.. no matter what. besides your my mom what else should i do? lol.. love ya mama :)

love
Jm :flag3:

[The Cheshire Cat]

Hummm....Funny, i must of missed the sign that said "Bisexuals Only" when i signed onto this site. :eek: Another Str8 Woman-Cat

[csrakate]

I for one am not aware of what was said. Unsavory people, what is that?

I do feel a need to clarify something...the individuals I encountered were NOT regular members of this site. The first one I dealt had just joined and I merely took him to be a troublemaking troll. The one I came across this past Sunday was relatively new as well...but the most vicious. As for the words that were spoken, I would prefer not to repeat them...I don't won't to allow him the opportunity to have a bigger audience than he already had.

Thanks to you all for your kind responses and show of support. This shows me that the members of this site are truly loving and accepting and that the troublemakers are merely outside agitators...and for that I thank you!

Hugs,
Kate

[Driver 8]

Kate,

I'm genuinely sorry people treated you so rudely. There's simply no excuse for that. If they're not interested in talking to straight people, they can just ignore you; this community is big enough for people who are straight (or gay or lesbian or questioning or none of the above) alongside people who are bi. And I'd like to add that you, in particular, are a valued contributor here; you're one of the people who makes this community special.

But at the same time ... I can understand why some bisexuals might not be happy to see straight people here.

I'm not saying I agree.

I'm not saying that justifies bad behavior.

I'm saying I understand.

Suppose, for example ... suppose I was in an interfaith relationship with a Jewish man. Maybe we just started dating and I'm not sure how that would work out. Maybe he hadn't been religious earlier, but was feeling a need to re-connect with his faith, and I didn't personally have any experience where he was coming from.

I might well hang out on some Jewish online communities to help me understand him and his background. But I DON'T think I'd post there about how understandable anti-Semitism is, or how being with a Jewish guy is the hardest thing in the world. If I were single, but thought I might like to date a Jewish guy, I don't think I'd message random guys to say "You're Jewish! That's hot! Entertain me."

And yet it seems to me that's EXACTLY what some straight people do on this site (and other bi communities I've been in). I don't think some of them are stopping to think that their words are going to be read by people from very different backgrounds, who come to these sites to connect with other people like themselves - a kind of connection that is, so often, so painfully absent in real life.

Like I say, these people had no justification for treating you badly, and I'm glad Drew stepped in to officially enforce standards of courtesy. I just hope that if any straight people reading this post haven't already stopped a moment to think about how their words will be taken, that they do so now.

[Alice]

Hi

I too am here for the same reason as you and this site has helped to save my marriage. I am str8 with a bi/gay husband who still does not admit this to me and it is very hard at times but with the help of some fantastic people on here I am feeling stronger and hope you do too.

I too thank all the people on this site who've helped me. I've only experienced a one negative remark in the chat room but hey, that's their problem, not mine. I respect everyone here and hope for the same in return.

Take care
Alice

[rupertbare]

As jo69guy put it

"Women like you are 1 in a million!"

And I couldn't agree more!! :)

I would also like to add that I know of one member who is a self-confessed Nazi and homophobe - this site is open to all and I suppose we have to accept that sometimes hurtful, spiteful, ignorant and hateful things will be posted and said in chat. Me, I find that sad. Fight hate with love, and Kate you ARE loved by the vast majority of this site's users. I only wish my own wife would have joined - but hey, that's a whole different story!!

Rupe, UK. :)

[Darkwing]

While its true you have or had issues with your husband announcing to you that he is bi, the fact that you came to this site in search of answers shows that you are willing, at least, to listen. This is something that a lot of people don't do...listen. A lot of people face problems such as yours and prefer to go and hide somewhere, and cry in there beer over it. "There sit I alone and bemoan my outcast state"...with appologies to Shakespeare. What you have done is take a stand for yourself, and have sought to understand what your husband has been living. Good for you.
Take no notice of the rude comments of those few individuals who obviously have no idea of the meaning of this website. To these tourists..I say pack your bags and move on. Sadly, the world is full of people like this. All we can do, really is ignore them. :2cents:

[onewhocares]

Dear Kate,

I guess there is not better time to tell you and the rest of the site...I have a secret...I AM STRAIGHT.

I know that this might be hard to believe, but yes, there are those "people like me" here. And I am most proud that I am here and that I was welcomed with open, accepting and certainly most non judgemental arms.

When I came here, I came to understand from a spouse's perspective what it is like to be married to a bisexual. What I found was a community. With in this community, I found understanding, knowledge and the insight into the various perspectives of a bisexual lifestyle. Above all else I found friends, and lovers too. It was this atmosphere that has made me a better person, one able to accept that the world is filled with people of all races, creeds and religions who are bound together under the auspices of Bisexual.com.

I can personally say that I have benefitted from your advice, concern and caring in my time here. And If I can help the next woman (or man) like I was helped then my presence here is appropriate. For you and I and the other straight woman do have a place in this community. Anyone wishing to "discuss" this in a rational manner is certainly welcome to contact me as I only regret I were not present in the chat room when this event took place. I would not have been so gracious and lady like,, I asuure you, and those who have sunk below the high standards here and personally attacked you are beyond contempt. Lest they think I am always a lady, I come to the defense of what and whom I believe in and YOU are a woman I admire.

Belle

[arana]

Dear Kate,

I guess there is not better time to tell you and the rest of the site...I have a secret...I AM STRAIGHT.

I know that this might be hard to believe, but yes, there are those "people like me" here. And I am most proud that I am here and that I was welcomed with open, accepting and certainly most non judgemental arms.
Belle

Another one??? Great, there goes the neighborhood!!!

(please no hatemail, I AM joking)

[usedbear1950]

Kate,

I love you for who are, for what you are,
I love you for your compassion.
I love you for the tough love you administer when it is needed.
I love you for being my friend.
Like two drunks walking home, we can lean on each other to keep from falling. Isn't that what life is about, leaning on each other for support.

Song from A Prarie Home Companion


Tell me why the ivy twines
Tell me why the stars do shine
Tell me why the sky's so blue
And I wil tell you why I love you.

Because God made the stars to shine
Because God the ivy twine
Because God made the sky so blue
Because God made you...that's why I love you.

[texasman6172003]

Hi Y'all,I want to let everyone know that i was in the chat room on that super bowl sunday. Kate was having a good time with everyone chatting and laughing as we most allways do in the room,. Kate in know way deserved this unwarranted attack on her.She even greeted this unsavory human in her warm and welcoming hello that she allways does. And as you know he asked her his question. She replied in a well spoken thought out way that she does. So i bear,andrumple and others that were there tried to defend kate and make this creep understand her situation. But nonetheless he just got more and more ruthless in his attack. In the end i suggested to Kate that we report him to Drew and thats what she did. So Kate you know how i feel about you . You know i consider you one my many friends on this site. And plus nobody messes with Smurfy's mummy or my COOK,lol. Anyway thats my :2cents: . Huggsss to you Kate,... Charles,,,Tex.....

[rupertbare]

twowhocare - thankyou for sharing.

I only wish my own wife had had the same attitude as you (and Kate - of course!!) and used the site to try and understand me better - but she didn't so no use crying over spilt milk.

We haven't caught up with one another as yet - but I hope that we do soon.

Rupe, UK. :)

[wanderingrichard]

kate, as others have said, you're family. i don't like people messing with my family. i'm sorry this happened and i was not there to assist in stopping it.

you stay here, hon. this site would not be the same without you and many like you.

miss ya, lady. sorry havent been able to talk to ya more, work had consumed me again.

Rich

[mikolavich]

Hello Kate;

How are you sweety.I missed all the action.It was Belle who told me about your incident.I am sorry about thatToo bad i wasn't there to kick his ass for you.I always look forward in saying hi to you in the chat room .So take care and know you have lots of friends from Canada including this one.

Mikolavich

[m.in.heels&hose]

KATE
i am sorry you had to "endure" the attacks that were given to you

and no one should be subjected to these attacks, and kudo's to drew for taking care of this problem

like others have said (and im pretty sure drew agrees) this site is for anyone!!!!

yeah, it is a safe haven for bisexuals, but that does not mean we dont want or cant have others who do not share our sexual desires or beliefs


(((((((((((((((((((((((kate)))))))))))))))))
hugs!!! m.in.heels&hose

[csrakate]

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful responses and for your show of support! Although this person did sneak back in under a new name, Drew was on the case and did all that he could to prevent a future return. My only regret is that a nice evening of chat gets disrupted for everyone due to the antics of another that are aimed at me...for that I apologize!

Hugs,
Kate

[rupertbare]

Ahhhhhhhh!! ((((((BIG HUGS BACK))))) kate.

I'm just personally glad I haven't been in chat when this crap has been going on. I think I may have been more than a little p*ssed-off! lol!!

Anyway you a truly FINE person, even if you are a bloomin' straight!! lol!! :)

With love, as ever, to you and yours.

Ron (Rupe) :)

[curious married m]

Kate, It is so sad to see how we come here for a variety of reasons and all it takes is one or two assholes to come in here with an agenda to hurt people to ruin our family of good people that are regulars here. What is ironic is that we have to tell some 17 year olds they cannot be here due to a supposed immaturity. But we somehow have to tolerate immature brains in so-called adults that insist on being rude and disrepectful of others opinions. I have seen some good , some bad, and some downright ugly things in this room over the last 3 years. And what hurts is to see good people avoid coming back due to these one or two individuals. I commend Drew for all he has tried to do to give us a non-threatening environment to come an chat and enjoy people of all backgrounds. And to those like Bear and Rumple and Chook who if there at the time will always back a friend proves there are good people. I am sometimes not willing to join a fight here and do not feel I can be put in that high class of men. But when it is a fine , loving ,caring person like you know you have another who supports your right to be here. I am sorry straight, bisexual, or gay are just labels that some have to have use to understand they big picture. They cannot look at people as just people who enjoy others. It is not just sexual exchanges but the mental and emotional exchange of ideas that occur more often here more than just cyber. I think one of the attacks you endured from this usavory person was to get a life. Funny maybe this person should take his own advice. If all they can do is spew hate into the world they need get a life and find more positive things to aid others in the world. Joy and helping others are the mainstays of most religions around the world. It is sad that most hate arises from those who claim to follow the teachings of love but hate all who do not agree with their religious or political views. Kate, You make this world a better place by being in this room. NEVER feel you do not belong. CMM :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: :2cents: = 10

Sorry but like Arana sometimes it takes more than :2cents:

[Mrs.F]

CMM said it all! It is the emotional and mental exchange of ideas that we have here. I could care less if your gay, bi, straight, black, white or blue (like smurf). I have learned so much about life, myself and my husband by joining this site. I have had so much emotional and mental help from MANY caring people. I never knew that as an adult I could still grow so much.

Anyone coming here and saying that certain people should not be here due to a persons sexual orentation has not yet grown up and does not see the BIG picture of life. :(

I am straight and will forever stand beside anyone here and call you my friend!

:tongue: :bigrin: :male: :female: ;) :cool:

Mrs.F :2cents: