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View Full Version : Are you also "Too Gay?"



evilpanda
May 28, 2009, 2:23 PM
here's my problem. since coming out in november, i've been trying to adjust to the fallout. new dating situations, new sex, new experiences, new protests against prop 8.

my roommate gets pissed off at me now because i'm "too gay." she threw a hissy fit claiming that all i do is gay stuff. i was watching FRIENDS and commented that phoebe is written as ambiguously bi, my roommate says, "you're just saying that because everything is bi with you now."

i went to an art school. believe me, i know that some gay people can be annoying. there's a line of politeness and common courtesy that can be crossed by overtly queeney or politically hostile gay people. i am NOWHERE near that line.

do you deal with this from your straight friends and family as well? because this shit sucks. i'm not annoying, pushy, on a soapbox or anything. but, straights want to take my sexuality and put it with my smelly socks and knucklecracking as things they hate about me. that hurts, that's insulting, that makes me want to kick all my straight friends out of my life.

littlerayofsunshine
May 28, 2009, 3:56 PM
Well You have to admit that its you who came out and they are having to adjust to the true you. You are the same/but different now....It will take time. You may be a little more sensitive because you became raw when you opened up. Takes alot of courage. Try laughing. The "You're just saying that" sounds more like a joke/rub than an attack. Hubby makes jokes to me about dropping me off at a lez bar and seeing if I came home with a new haircut and a tattoo. :tong:

codybear3
May 28, 2009, 4:46 PM
You are still you, evil.... But they have to get used to your "new" you... :paw::paw:

MarieDelta
May 29, 2009, 9:51 AM
Not only are you still you. You are a more honest you. But, there is a period where everything GLBT seems to shine with an almost magical glow, to those of us who come out. I suppose it must get old to the straight people around us to hear us talk of it. But its been true for almost any LGBTTIQ person I've known.

That first lil bit after you come out, its like stretching after you've been confined for along period of time in a small space - you can go out and read/watch/ talk about things you've kept bottled up without the old fears, because you are out. I know that most people who dont struggle with self acceptance, fear and other issues, do not understand this (in general.)

M. Wolfe
May 29, 2009, 10:19 AM
Yea I hear you, I don't want to kick them out of my life, they are my friends, but I do get pissed off at some of the things they say. I have one friend who I had to smack round the head cos he kept calling me gay when I'm bot, I'm bi and he knows it. It's important, I said, because there is a big difference and because the is an identity aspect to this, calling me gay is undermining my word.

But they haven't been purposefully insulting, just a bit thoughtless, though there has be a lot of jokes to my expense, but that's just a bit off fun.

SaraSaurus
May 29, 2009, 10:58 PM
Not only are you still you. You are a more honest you. But, there is a period where everything GLBT seems to shine with an almost magical glow, to those of us who come out. I suppose it must get old to the straight people around us to hear us talk of it. But its been true for almost any LGBTTIQ person I've known.

That first lil bit after you come out, its like stretching after you've been confined for along period of time in a small space - you can go out and read/watch/ talk about things you've kept bottled up without the old fears, because you are out. I know that most people who dont struggle with self acceptance, fear and other issues, do not understand this (in general.)

I have definitely found this to be true. I just recently came out and since then I've been reading and looking at anything I can get my hands on. My poor friends have had to deal with me talking about LGBTQ issues almost nonstop for the past couple weeks. Thankfully they're all taking it in stride and being as supportive as they know how to be (which isn't always that much).

I suppose as far as my friends go I haven't had too much trouble except for one friend who totally buys into all the stereotypes and doesn't always know when to keep her mouth shut. For the most part I just try to ignore her and remember that this is an opportunity for me to educate her. Of course, I'm not always so forgiving in which case I usually make some snide comment and then avoid her for the next few days. :tongue: