What is love? [Archive]

SaraSaurus

May 27, 2009, 12:36 AM

I'm no expert on love and believe its different for everyone but there is a quote that has always defined love to me:

"In my arms till break of day let the living creature lie, mortal, guilty, but to me the entirely beautiful."
-Wystan Auden, Lay Your Sleeping Head, My Love

Love is recognizing the person you are with is flawed and loving them because of it, not despite it.

Long Duck Dong

May 27, 2009, 12:48 AM

love....

I know not what I feel, just that I feel it
I know not what I desire, just that I desire it
I know not why it hurts, just that I feel the pain
I know not why I long for it, just that I seek it.....
I will call it love.... tho love is not what I call it....
I shall speak of it often, tho never have the words to define it
I will share it with others, tho never know what I share
I can ask for it often, yet have no idea what it is I recieve
I will say to many I give it, yet have no proof that I give anything
I will call it love....tho love is not what i call it......
it is the greatest of all things, yet there is lil of it
it is that would can heal wounds, yet give wounds too deep to heal
it can fell us all in a single blow, yet never leave a mark
it is that, which is undefined, but defined by a single word
I will call it love.....tho love is not what I call it

TwylaTwobits

May 27, 2009, 1:14 AM

nice replies all

so in essense love is... it just is.

Bluebiyou

May 27, 2009, 3:49 AM

Poetically,

infinite expressions.

Analytically,

There is love the feeling, that is based on need. - the love we feel.

There is love the decision, this is how we treat others. - the love we give.

The above two may appear in any combination.
Usually, when we're deeply in love (the feeling), the decision is so easy we hardly even see it as a decision.

_Joe_

May 27, 2009, 9:37 AM

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: Avoid, if at all possible.

littlerayofsunshine

May 27, 2009, 1:56 PM

Love is:

In winter, Growing my snowpants, and hubby rubbing my legs and telling how soft they feel and kissing me on my flower.

Love is:

Hubby doing his three morning S's and asking to bring him the paper during #2 and I begin to think, How horrible life would be a day without it.

just to name a few.. IMHO It's being able to make it through the rough and tumble, feeling secure that person will make it to the end with you And holding you close and making you feel there is nothing else in the universe, just the two of you. Just for all those little moments when you need them most.

PolyLoveTriad

May 27, 2009, 6:53 PM

Not a trick question I was asked this earlier, I said it can't be defined and was told then how can you say you love?

I found one that summed it up for me from an anonymous source

"Love is friendship set on fire"

Just curious what your thoughts are, what is love to you?

That was a line from a movie.... I cant think of what movie, but maybe itll pop in my head later.

I believe thats true, that love is friendship set on fire.

BrotherJack

May 27, 2009, 10:44 PM

Love is.....being lied to, a broken heart, feeling crushed and as if a part of one has been ripped from one's soul.

rissababynta

May 27, 2009, 11:25 PM

Love is.....being lied to, a broken heart, feeling crushed and as if a part of one has been ripped from one's soul.

Wooooow that was cynical :tong:

csrakate

May 27, 2009, 11:30 PM

OMG...am I the only one who now has that song in their head from Night at the Roxbury??? You know the one..."What is Love?" by Haddaway???? I can't get it out of my head now....tyvm!!!! LOL!

rissababynta

May 27, 2009, 11:34 PM

OMG...am I the only one who now has that song in their head from Night at the Roxbury??? You know the one..."What is Love?" by Haddaway???? I can't get it out of my head now....tyvm!!!! LOL!

Oh my god the first time I saw the title and every time til now I've had the same thing...sometimes I do the little head move too.

TaylorMade

May 27, 2009, 11:46 PM

Not a trick question I was asked this earlier, I said it can't be defined and was told then how can you say you love?

I found one that summed it up for me from an anonymous source

"Love is friendship set on fire"

Just curious what your thoughts are, what is love to you?

Sometimes that quote is credited to Bruce Lee . . .or Jeremy Taylor.

But I really to think it is friendship intensified, because one of few times where I loved without hesitation or reservation was a friend. I would and STILL would throw myself off a building for him (admittedly it's gone from a 40 story high rise to a 2 story), and I just can't seem to feel for anyone else the way I did for him, and not for lack of trying either.

Okay, we're getting too serious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lyq8RS3-FBY

*Taylor*

bityme

May 28, 2009, 2:37 AM

Love is the willingness to give or yourself without reservation, the desire to take on another's pain so that they will be relieved of it, the suppression of your own desires to satisfy another's, and the commitment for a lifetime.

rissababynta

May 28, 2009, 2:41 AM

Love is *insert good or bad here*

rissababynta

May 28, 2009, 2:43 AM

http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=8S0eLQ6Al%2BE%3D

MetaSexual2

May 28, 2009, 3:55 AM

"This call for a worldwide fellowship that lifts neighborly concern beyond one's tribe, race, class, and nation is in reality a call for an all-embracing and unconditional love for all mankind. This oft misunderstood, this oft misinterpreted concept, so readily dismissed by the Nietzsches of the world as a weak and cowardly force, has now become an absolute necessity for the survival of man. When I speak of love I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I am not speaking of that force which is just emotional bosh. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality." MLK Jr, 4 April 1967

BrotherJack

May 28, 2009, 11:50 AM

Wooooow that was cynical :tong:

No Rissa, not cynical, just how I feel inside, at the moment.

allbimyself

May 28, 2009, 1:27 PM

The best definition I ever heard (paraphrasing as I don't trust my memory):

Love is that condition when the happiness and well being of another are essential to one's own.

-Heinlein

its430am

May 28, 2009, 2:06 PM

When I was a teenager, love was sneaking out of my parents' house in the middle of the night to have passionate, sweaty sex in the woods. This was sometimes followed by guilt.

When I was in my twenties, love was sneaking out of my husband's house in the middle of the night to have passionate, sweaty sex in the woods. This was quite frequently followed by guilt.

Now that I am in my thirties, I realize love isn't just about sex. I look back with fondess on most of those people and situations, but I am married to my best friend and love, and I don't need to sneak out at night--and there's never any guilt.

elian

May 29, 2009, 10:59 PM

Love is like sunshine and shade on a warm spring day. We, like the flowers absorb and radiate that energy. It bonds us ever so gently and fills us with the essence of motherly creation.

True love is not boastful, full of ego. We cannot control true love at its most basic state for it does not belong to any one person. Trying to chase after love and happiness is like trying to save rays of sunshine in a box for a rainy day.

The healthy, happy, open heart is filled with love as a vessel is filled with water. It flows through us, in us, around us. One of the most powerful things that we can do as human beings is show loving compassion. If your heart is blessed with love, security, peace - even for a short time - share that gift with others.

Like ripples on a pond a small deed done with a loving heart can affect many of the people we come in contact with.

Light up the darkness.. - Bob Marley

TwylaTwobits

May 30, 2009, 5:19 AM

Wow Elian that is probably one of the best descriptions I have seen posted here, thanks.

elian

May 30, 2009, 1:16 PM

A lot of good definitions here Twyla :)

BrotherJack

May 31, 2009, 2:32 AM

Love is many things. It's a pain in your chest and you don't know what the pain means. When you realise, it knocks you sideways, because you haven't loved for over 20 years. For me, love is a spiritual thing. It's a bonding of two souls, a giving of heart and mind. It's a rush of energy, that makes you smile again and feel joy within. It's a smile, a word, a laugh, a look in someone's eyes, that just makes you melt inside. It's something so special, so deep, so spiritual, that it does not need the lusts of the flesh, to sustain it.

It's lies and tears and arguments and distancing, but whatever happens, if the love is a true love, it will stay in one's heart, strong and never ending.

I wrote this for some one:

Love as light
And light is love
Tho' heavy the burden be
To carry such
Does tax the soul
Tis sent to weary me.
Yet weariness is my reward
In loving, so am I loved.
Love found, be as love won
Through trial and adversity.

void()

May 31, 2009, 11:41 AM

Love is someone that understands, and still wants to be with you. Love is waking up in his or her arms and knowing you protected one another. It is knowing that you are free to not apologize if you don't want, nor make promises.

One of my loves quotes Marley. I can say no more. :)

paddington

Jun 1, 2009, 1:18 PM

Hi,my recent ex made my spirits soar when things were good, the passion was like nothing i'd ever experienced before. but then she spoilt it, she wanted me to con my husband into thinking our marriage was fine,i was devastated that she could ask/expect me to do such a cruel thing....and then drop him when she'd have her house back from a lodger. he didn't deserve that. in my mind,if she could ask me to do that what was she capable of doing to ME?

the other side of the coin,my love for my dear husband is deeper,calmer,i trust him completly. he would never ask me to do anything like that...because he KNOWS i'm not capable of it. his love is so kind,gentle,so forgiving. he's been so hurt,so humiliated and yet he never throws the affair in my face,he speaks only kindness and shows me great forgiveness. he stands beside me while people snub us.

i am blessed. x

SweetBlackAngel

Jun 1, 2009, 8:41 PM

Love is like the Tao. It can't be named. Whatever words you use doesn't really capture it.

Love isn't something out there...it's in here, now...beyond the mind, beyond concepts.....

When you have it...you'll know.

It's like God that way.

HelloToYou

Jun 2, 2009, 1:30 AM

Essentially, love is a deep sense of caring.

evilpanda

Jun 2, 2009, 11:02 AM

love is something promoted by credit card companies to keep us in debt.

Papelucho

Jun 2, 2009, 11:11 AM

TheKnaveOfHearts

Jun 2, 2009, 7:14 PM

...baby don't hurt me

...don't hurt me

...no more?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Polyamerious Phoenix

Jun 3, 2009, 9:40 AM

My :2cents:

Love is not definable in words so much as it is a feeling or when "something" comes up that you have to deal with.

As an example....If your long time loved said that he/she was moving away and you felt a cold hollow adn knew that you could not lose them... that's Love...

and another one on a brighter note would be .... When your dearest walks int he front door and you get all warm and gooie inside.. Even tho he / she has done this 1000"s before your always so happy to see them and want to wrap your self around them.

Love is not 100% all the time thing some times it hides in the back ground while other times it consumes you.

Dare to tredd softly when it comes to love and the affairs of the heart as a whole " hell have no furry like that's of a scorned heart. "

paddington

Jun 3, 2009, 12:33 PM

Hi, Hell Have No Fury Like A Woman Scorned! that one fit my ex perfectly,some of the things she continues to do are just scary! you're spot on there!

Alaskan Couple

Aug 9, 2009, 3:09 AM

I, like some others have said, believe that Love transcends our ability to precisely describe or define It with words. At It's highest It is a spiritual state. And just like one cannot define Spirit, neither can one define Love. Love is neither a "thing" to be held in the hand, nor is It a "thought" to be dissected with our mind. It goes beyond emotion...beyond feelings...beyond human words.

I believe that Love is the ultimate and highest calling of humankind. Our deficit of Love is the root cause of all ills in this world. Perfect Love does no harm to any soul.

Some say they have been hurt by "love". But I say, Love has never hurt anyone. It is the absence of Love that causes all pain.

Some say sex is "love". But I say, sex is an outflow of Love...an appropriate physical expression of a spiritual connection with another human soul. Sex without Love is really just lust being satisfied.

Ultimately Love is what has been said by others above and more; it is like the Tao...the Way...undefinable, and yet the Source of all things...and what a joy that we have been given the ability to know It even in a dim and tarnished way.

Holmes

Aug 9, 2009, 3:22 PM

I was in love once , but I don't thnk I will ever feel it again. I was hurt and betrayed so now I am guarded. Love my family and friends , but I don't think I will allowmyself that feeling again.

diB4u

Aug 9, 2009, 3:49 PM

Love is- whatever you make it to be. Love can be infatuation-when you follow your favourite team/actor/singer. Love can be what you feel for your pets.

Love can be real- love can be fake. Love can last a lifetime- or it could hardly last the day.

:eek:

Just like everything else love dies. :2cents:

Alaskan Couple

Aug 9, 2009, 3:49 PM

I was in love once , but I don't thnk I will ever feel it again. I was hurt and betrayed so now I am guarded. Love my family and friends , but I don't think I will allowmyself that feeling again.

It saddens me to hear someone say such things. Both the betrayal and hurt you experienced and the fear to love again are terrible things. But of the two, I believe the later is the worst because it condemns you to a life without love. I am reminded of a couple of verses from the poem "Desiderata";

...Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Nor be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass...

...With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

I guess for me, the hope of love attained is greater than the fear of being disappointed by another persons lack of love for me.

Holmes

Aug 15, 2009, 12:26 PM

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I keep opening myself up a little bit more everyday, but sometimes it is disheartning when you ask someone out and you get a gentle brush off. I reach out and try to jst establish friendships ,but I am the "they're not inot you type". Ikeep[trying andput myself out there ,but you can only get slapped down so many tinmes.

bicowboy

Aug 15, 2009, 1:53 PM

If a person can have a good relationship with another and both be on the same page, get along with each other & have a good emotional, intellectual and sexual relationship together then their as about as close to having found true love as their ever going to get. Even then life is never a bowl of cherries, but it is what you make it so go for it and have as much fun as you can while living it. Life is short have as much fun as possible. Live the dream.

quiet1fornow

Aug 15, 2009, 1:54 PM

I loved, CM's, "...Hell in the hallway"

Hmmmm what is love....?

I believe it is personal to each of us...to me it has come three times and each uniquely. The first time at 22, walking across a department store floor to visit my Mother when home from college, I spied a woman that stuck me instantly....I ended up marrying her and we were together for over 30 years before she left this earth of her own choice!

The second was just after the birth of my daughter I was asked if I wanted to carry her to the nursery; when she was handed to me for the very first time I had a "white light" moment and we became as one from that very moment until now and into the future I hope!

The third was at 55 years old, after having some time in " Hell's hallway" for me....I was caught completely unaware of feelings I had for someone...and I mean they enveloped me in a second in the middle of a casual meal....I have always said it was like an 8th grade moment...however, what it really was was the energy of two individual's passions aligning themselves; such as a DNA model....each piece fit and that moment was that triumphant moment when the final piece found its way into to its specific unique spot!

It is that "DNA model like moment" I think is when love is uniquely created for each of us. I believe there are degrees of passion that line the boundaries between husband and wife and parent and child and man and woman or more; yet the strength of that passion is clearly as defined in strength and character!

It is a moment of definition and creation that uniquely bond us! It is driven by our own passions from within. It is not to be confused with lust ....there s also a moment however it is not love it is missing that one piece..it can be consumed in love but love is not necessary to satisfy lust...there is lust in loves creation!

:cool:

I hope that helps or makes sense!

AdamKadmon43

Aug 15, 2009, 5:33 PM

To me, love means not only sharing and enjoying life with someone, but also caring enough about them to let them be free to be what they are and do what they want.

However, it has been my experience in life that most people view love as owning and controlling someone; selfishly possessing them; telling them what they can and can't do. And then criticizing, humiliating and belittling them (or worse) if they do not do as you wish them to do.

elian

Aug 16, 2009, 9:35 AM

Untrue..all untrue...both paragraphs

I'm not sure anyone can say that someone else's life experience is untrue, unless you know for a fact that the poster really is lying and just saying something out of spite.

To some people love seems one sided; if you don't genuinely love yourself first a lot of times you end up being in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

I have known plenty of relationships secondhand where people really do operate on a base level like Adam has said..people grow from experience and at whatever point in time this occurred one or both of them just did not have the benefit of experience or maturity. I'm not saying it to be a smart ass, I'm saying it because I've lived it..some people either on purpose or incidentally can seem selfish at times.

When you put yourself out there to be loved (or develop feelings for someone else) you make yourself vulnerable in a lot of ways that seem scary to most people - but still I can say that even with the pain it has caused at times, my life is much better for having loved and cared for other people.

**Peg**

Aug 16, 2009, 9:37 AM

... love is not necessary to satisfy lust...there is lust in loves creation!

:cool:

I hope that helps or makes sense!

wow q, you are deep, knew I really liked you, and nobody is happier for you two than I am.

>hugs<

smartsexychick

Aug 16, 2009, 6:47 PM

I think that love has to start with yourself. When you can find it within you to let someone see the most vulnerable part of you, that is a beautiful thing. When he/she can accept you as you are, even in your most fucked-up-ness, that is Heaven. With some, I have been successful, and with some I have failed miserably, but even when it is over, there is still something powerful that remains. I have learned something priceless from every man I have ever loved.

My baby will see this so I have to say, Robin, thank you for your love and your acceptance of every corrupt part of me and for the light in me that shines brightly. I want all of you, from your secrets that only I know to your Sunday best to your most disgusting filth inside and out.

I love you and our son so very, very much.

Melzybabes

Aug 17, 2009, 10:48 PM

:) strong positive emotion of regard and affection.
:) any object of warm affection or devotion.
:) have a great affection or liking.
:) a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction.

TwylaTwobits

Aug 18, 2009, 5:36 AM

More and more beautiful replies thank you all, now since I have arrived in New Zealand and spent nigh on 2 full months with Long Duck Dong, I have a better understanding of what love is....it transcends anything I have ever felt before and is a feeling I want to grow old while sharing with my wonderful partner. I love you, Duckie. You are my heart and soul and nothing will change that, for better or for worse we are one.