Setting up the wife

[inqctv1]

Im wondering if one of you guys arranged to have your wife experienced her fantasy to have sex with another woman. My wife wants to have sex with another woman but she's having a hard time finding the right girl. We tried putting an ad on Craigslist but most of them are flakes. She found one but all they did was kiss and touched each other. The girl was kinda shy. Now she's getting frustrated and so do i. I really want this to happen even if im not going to be a part of it. I guess this thread is like an ad also coz im wondering if i can find a woman who is willing to befriended her then lead her on to sex. my wife doesn't need to know that i arranged the meeting. We are from Southern California and if there's a single woman out there who's into fun and games ill be happy to provide more info and details of what i want to do. Serious inquiries only and for sure im not gonna be included.

[AlternatingRed]

Kinda worries me when guys get involved like this. I worry about their motives and I worry that really this is up to her, not you. I mean if I were you, I certainly would not do anything without consent. She may not want your input on this.

And, if you don't mind, in passing, take care to think this through, because often straight guys are completely oblivious to the dangers of what they are getting their other half involved in. I mean things can get really complicated. Guys never feel threatened by another woman, but you should! I have been in three way relationships and its very, very rare that they work out ok. I mean I had a boyfriend, who I have to say I didn't care for that much, else I wouldn't have done it, but he suggested me getting a girlfriend. I did, and within days he was as jealous as hell, because he hadn't anticipated the fact that it would actually take attention away from him rather than intensifying it. I mean I guess your wife considers it as a fantasy and so do you, but seriously, consider the reality; the cost, of not understanding everyones feelings before you get in to this, can be extreme.

Nothing to beat meeting real people. Get both your bum's down to a les/gay/bi bar/event. Trust me, things will happen!!

:flag2:

[PolyLoveTriad]

Sorry but I think its very deceptive to set up anyone someone claims to love them. I think you should allow your wife to find her own play date. If youre not worried about being involved then let her do it on her own instead of trying to do a forced event. Sorry, dont mean to come off mean or anything, but if I was your wife, Id be pissed off at you and I would feel extremely betrayed and would have a hard time trusting you from now on.

[12voltman59]

The advise of a few in this thread reminds me of a very funny movie, The Sex Monster, written by and starring Mike Binder and Mariel Hemmingway.

The two are an LA couple who in a bid to spice up their sex life--the hubby, played by Binder, suggests to his wife, played by Hemmingway, to consider doing a menage a trois with another lady.

At first, she is not hip to the idea--but wanting to please her hubby, agrees and oh boy------did that have a consequence that hubby didn't expect----his wife loved having sex with other ladies and soon--she was having hot sex day and night with an never ending string of hot ladies!

It is a very funny movie-----while they never show any scenes of Hemmingway having sex with her gal buds with lots of bennies ------they had some funny audio and hint at it visually in quick shots----like the bed rocking for a number of minutes with lots of "ooooo ooooo, oooooh God yesss,oooooo oooooo ooooohhh my God!!" sounds coming from her bedroom----with the hubby sleeping downstairs on the couch having to hear his wife and her girlfriends ripping it up!!!:bigrin::bigrin::bigrin:

I don't think guys really think about such things when they think they want their wives to be with other gals---he just might be creating "A Sex Monster!!!!!!":bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::eek::eek:

http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/180321/The-Sex-Monster/overview

[rissababynta]

I've had many MANY men contact me about setting them up with their wives. They let me know their body type and interests and so on and so forth. And ya know what...while I appreciate that they are trying to do something nice for their wives (or at least that is what it seems like, I can't say that is the motive for all of the guys) it really pisses me off. I want to be with someone because I like them and they had an immediate interest in me as well, not because their husband did. If you want to be with me and get to know me...then please contact me yourself! That's just the way I see it...

I rarely even respond to these guys and the times I do respond I always decline.

[AlternatingRed]

I've had many MANY men contact me about setting them up with their wives. They let me know their body type and interests and so on and so forth. And ya know what...while I appreciate that they are trying to do something nice for their wives (or at least that is what it seems like, I can't say that is the motive for all of the guys) it really pisses me off. I want to be with someone because I like them and they had an immediate interest in me as well, not because their husband did. If you want to be with me and get to know me...then please contact me yourself! That's just the way I see it...

I rarely even respond to these guys and the times I do respond I always decline.

Yes I have to agree on that. I mean I can't tell your exact situation but I know that I very much judge guys by their response to telling them I am bisexual. If their eyes light up and the next sentence they utter contains the word "my girlfriend" or "threesome" ( and 90% of the time it does ), then I will literally stand up and walk away.

[tellmebaby]

Just a little advice. If it's a threesome you are looking for BE HONEST. Don't say you're looking for someone for your wife when you're truly hoping for a threesome, because women can see right through that. My husband once baited and hooked a woman for a threesome for us. I was proud of him because most girls don't go for that. But he was perfectly honest with the girl about what we expected to happen. He was patient and NOT TOO EAGER. Good luck, it can happen.

[jamieknyc]

The advise of a few in this thread reminds me of a very funny movie, The Sex Monster, written by and starring Mike Binder and Mariel Hemmingway.


http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/180321/The-Sex-Monster/overview

I saw that movie too, and a reminder is worth while: movies are HOLLYWOOD not reality!!!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Sweetie, you cant just throw girls into a sexual situation and hope they go all over each other...that isnt the way it should go, especially if you want it to be a very special and wonderful thing for her. Women usually dont perform well if they are just thrust into a situation that they may not be comfortable with.
Try finding someone and getting to know and trust them first, let lust occure naturally and easily. Go easy, find someone that she'll be turned on with, not some stanger off of a meat market like Craigs List. You'd be much better off finding a good Lifestyle Group and meeting up with someone that way.
Good luck to you.

[12voltman59]

I saw that movie too, and a reminder is worth while: movies are HOLLYWOOD not reality!!!


Jaime--of course I realize that this movie is pure fiction---it is a funny, satirical piece ans as such this movie is pure humor---but in it someplace--- there is a minimalist core piece of reality.

You did catch that I said it was a screen play written by Mike Binder who has a reputation in writing humorous takes on the wild and crazy nature of relationships between men and women and our culture--he is sort of a young Woody Allen wanna be!!!

I remember a few years ago---I was at a fave bookstore in the magazine section---a headline on a glossy lesbian magazine caught my attention--the article was a semi-serious/semi-humorous one about how lesbian women need to encourage their hetero sisters who think they might want to have sex with another woman to go ahead and do so---with the outcome being "the het" does have hot, incredible lesbian sex-- she finds that lesbian sex is soooo awesome and is just the thing she has always lacked when having sex with "oooo gross, MEN!!" --that she finally sees the error of her ways-- forsaking hetero sex with (ugghh) men----going completely "LEZ!":bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::bigrin::bigrin:

That article more or less cribbed from Binder's movie in some aspects, a number of years after the movie came out--I don't know if they meant for it to be a serious piece or not----- but it did appear in a real lesbian oriented magazine though.

[jamieknyc]

I think it was Xenophanes who said that if the horses had a god, their deity would look like a horse. Of course something in a lesbian publication is going to say that the het sisters saw the light about how sex wiht other women is better than with men. I doubt you will find too many stor5ies there about those women who tried it and found out it didn't really do anything for them. And the same goes for men with other men, too.

[welickit]

You are...in our minds, an asshole. You are self serving and trying to force something on her. She doesn't need to know? Who the hell do you think you are fooling? Get a life pal. We hope she smartens up and walks out on you when she finds a gal she clicks with. You sure don't make a pimple on a good partners ass.
You don't like the above but face the facts for a change.

[TaylorMade]

Im wondering if one of you guys arranged to have your wife experienced her fantasy to have sex with another woman. My wife wants to have sex with another woman but she's having a hard time finding the right girl. We tried putting an ad on Craigslist but most of them are flakes. She found one but all they did was kiss and touched each other. The girl was kinda shy. Now she's getting frustrated and so do i. I really want this to happen even if im not going to be a part of it. I guess this thread is like an ad also coz im wondering if i can find a woman who is willing to befriended her then lead her on to sex. my wife doesn't need to know that i arranged the meeting. We are from Southern California and if there's a single woman out there who's into fun and games ill be happy to provide more info and details of what i want to do. Serious inquiries only and for sure im not gonna be included.

Your post made Jesus facepalm.

http://westrum.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/holy-facepalm.jpg

Next time you have an idea, let it go.

*Taylor*

[rissababynta]

You are...in our minds, an asshole. You are self serving and trying to force something on her. She doesn't need to know? Who the hell do you think you are fooling? Get a life pal. We hope she smartens up and walks out on you when she finds a gal she clicks with. You sure don't make a pimple on a good partners ass.
You don't like the above but face the facts for a change.

Well, I hardly think that he deserved all THAT....sheesh...

[writes at night]

As someone who has been on the recieving end of this sort of "act of love" let me offer this piece of advice: STOP NOW!

By attempting to determine who I will be willing to be sexually active with, and ignoring my opinions, my needs and well, my consent... our marriage was destroyed, any trust was lost, and respect went out the window.

Think long and hard about what you are doing. Is your marriage/ relationship worth surrendering the wonder that is your life?

Those are my :2cents:

[PolyLoveTriad]

Well who knows... maybe he will find his wife someone and she will leave him for them? Pretty risky doing something underhanded.

[quriouscpl4u]

This posting is kinda confusing to me.
I thought he was simply asking about how others may have "assisted" in helping their significant other in exploring their bi curiosity by seeking another playmate for her.
Then, I see postings that indicate he is seeking to set her up with another woman and it is inferred that he is just trying to have a threesome for his own benefit.
I had a girlfriend who always had a fantasy of seeing what it would be like to actually explore her bicuriousity, but she was hesitant/too shy to seek that out on her own.
I am sure she was fully capable of doing so, but she asked that I try to "find" someone for her.
We discussed the boundaries of what she was looking for and I knew that if we could not find a single Bi woman, (the Unicorn), then we would have to look at meeting a couple with a Bi woman.
We searched for a long time and found a couple that was seeking the same thing that she was. Both women wanted to explore with each other but neither woman wanted an encounter with a swinging couple or wanted to swap partners.
Both women wanted to explore their Bi curiousity in a safe environment and were willing to have the men present, BUT, under no circumstances did they want any interaction from either of us men.
We were allowed to "watch", but the understanding was there would be absolutely NO TOUCHING.
We met with the other couple, had a nice dinner with drinks and then the women disappeared for a while as we remained in the living room and talked and had Margarritas.
A short while later, we were called into the bedroom and were allowed to watch the most erotic scene I have ever been privilaged to observe.
I know that there will most likely be some that will ask why we even had to be present, but all I can add to that is both women made the decisions on HOW they wanted the situation to go and THEY decided what to allow.
All I can add is that there is NOTHING more erotic then to be able to watch two people exploring their fantasies and turning them into reallity, while just sitting there and seeing and hearing everything happen right in front of you.
Bi the way, both of us men honored our significant other's request and did nothing to try and change the boundaries that were set by both women.
All we did was watch and enjoy.

J

[tellmebaby]

Like I said before, BE HONEST. Not just with each other, but with yourself. If you and your wife are secure in your relationship and talk things over, it can happen.

[TaylorMade]

This posting is kinda confusing to me.
I thought he was simply asking about how others may have "assisted" in helping their significant other in exploring their bi curiosity by seeking another playmate for her.
Then, I see postings that indicate he is seeking to set her up with another woman and it is inferred that he is just trying to have a threesome for his own benefit.
I had a girlfriend who always had a fantasy of seeing what it would be like to actually explore her bicuriousity, but she was hesitant/too shy to seek that out on her own.
I am sure she was fully capable of doing so, but she asked that I try to "find" someone for her.
We discussed the boundaries of what she was looking for and I knew that if we could not find a single Bi woman, (the Unicorn), then we would have to look at meeting a couple with a Bi woman.
We searched for a long time and found a couple that was seeking the same thing that she was. Both women wanted to explore with each other but neither woman wanted an encounter with a swinging couple or wanted to swap partners.
Both women wanted to explore their Bi curiousity in a safe environment and were willing to have the men present, BUT, under no circumstances did they want any interaction from either of us men.
We were allowed to "watch", but the understanding was there would be absolutely NO TOUCHING.
We met with the other couple, had a nice dinner with drinks and then the women disappeared for a while as we remained in the living room and talked and had Margarritas.
A short while later, we were called into the bedroom and were allowed to watch the most erotic scene I have ever been privilaged to observe.
I know that there will most likely be some that will ask why we even had to be present, but all I can add to that is both women made the decisions on HOW they wanted the situation to go and THEY decided what to allow.
All I can add is that there is NOTHING more erotic then to be able to watch two people exploring their fantasies and turning them into reallity, while just sitting there and seeing and hearing everything happen right in front of you.
Bi the way, both of us men honored our significant other's request and did nothing to try and change the boundaries that were set by both women.
All we did was watch and enjoy.

J

J, this is why we're jumping on his ass:


f i can find a woman who is willing to befriended her then lead her on to sex. my wife doesn't need to know that i arranged the meeting. We are from Southern California and if there's a single woman out there who's into fun and games ill be happy to provide more info and details of what i want to do. Serious inquiries only and for sure im not gonna be included.

I bet you wouldn't have been welcomed or been able to pull this off w/o her knowledge.

*Taylor*

[quriouscpl4u]

Ahhhh, I missed that one part.
When we did whatwe did, it was with full knowledge and thought on all parties involved.
You and everyone else is correct.
People HAVE to be honest about what they are looking for and what boundaries they want to be in place.

J

[inqctv1]

My husband showed me all your replies on his thread and he understand how you guys feel about him. He's right that i want to fulfill my fantasy to be with another woman and i'm kinda frustrated from the response from my personal ads or responding to some because most of them are flakes and some are men pretending to be women. When he told me what is he planning to do i feel turn on. It will be a sexually satisfying if i meet a woman who will make the first move on me. It will start as a casual friend and then will lead me to fulfilling my sexual fantasy. By responding to an ad i know whats gonna happen but nothing can beat the element of surprise if the woman i met likes to make out with me. We talked about my fantasy and we set some limitations . He's a good guy and he totally understand all your replies and felt bad about it thats why he showed me the thread. Im kinda afraid to make the first move on some of my friends so hopefully i'll meet someone who is bi also.

[phaedrus]

You are...in our minds, an asshole. You are self serving and trying to force something on her. She doesn't need to know? Who the hell do you think you are fooling? Get a life pal. We hope she smartens up and walks out on you when she finds a gal she clicks with. You sure don't make a pimple on a good partners ass.
You don't like the above but face the facts for a change.

Wow, that's harsh. The guy wants to do something nice for his wife, which she evidently wants also. Maybe his method is a little misguided, maybe not. I don't see why people have to crucify him like this.

I haven't been around this place for a while. Now I remember why. For a supposedly supportive place, some people here can be really mean and nasty.