Confused..Am I Bi?

[aaadmc]

I've felt completely straight my whole life, up until recently. I am heavily attracted to women, ever since I was born. I find them extremely sexy and irresistible. Any my friends or family would say I am very straight. Out of curiosity and fun lately I've been thinking about other guys, trying to fantasize about them and to orgasm while thinking about them. I started to get a really weird feeling, but a good feeling. It feels like a brotherhood thing, two guys having sex, celebrating their male bodies...it really turns me on, but not in a way that women turn me on. It's entirely different.

The weird thing is though, I am not attracted to masculinity.. Things like big muscles, broad faces, tattoos, hairiness, being tough, don't arouse me at all. As a guy I will never be sexually attracted to these things. Whenever I fantasize about another guy it always seems to be a younger, slim/skinny, boyish type of guy. It's almost like I'm just attracted to femininity, sensitivity...and it doesn't even matter if it's a guy or a girl. It has started to really confuse me... Is this bi? I am starting to think I am attracted to types of people, rather than just males vs. females. And the weird thing is, the types of guys I fantasize about seem like they are similar to me...a different version of myself. Can anyone else explain/relate?

[robbie09]

Up until very recently I considered myself straight as well. I have always been very attracted to women.

I have however always had homosexual fantasies and in these fantasies the men were always very similar to me and were anonymous. I never considered at all during this phase of my life that I was anything but straight.

Recently I have recognised my own Bisexuality and my sexual fantasies have evolved whereby I now fantasise about other men including some of my male friends.

I am certainly attracted to a particular personality type rather than a particular sex. This personality type is one which is quite feminine , a bit like my own. Hence I am predominantly sexually attracted to women.

Having said that there are physical male characteristics such as nice set of abs, pecs and a hard cock that I like!

[veganbigmac]

There are many types of bisexuality. Some people are attracted to the same sex only physically, others only emotionally. There are no hard and fast rules.

Don't stress about what kind of guy turns you on, whether it is just an aspect of gender or some aspect of personality. You don't have to be into masculinity to be into guys, just like you don't have to be in to femininity to be attracted to girls. Whatever you're attracted to, you're attracted to it, is it necesarry to stress over why? I quit asking myself why I like what I like a while ago, and accepted that everything is changeable. You could like one thing this week/month/year and something else the next. It can really drive you insane to worry about it. So why put yourself through that?

I can't tell you if you are bi or not, only you can determine that. Lots of people have passing fancies, it could just be that. If these feelings persist for awhile and begin to affect you physically (loss of sleep, impotence in heterosexual activity, severe anxiety attacks in social settings, etc.) then you might want to consider addressing these feelings more directly. But if you are happy dating girls and guys only enter your sex life in fantasy, why fix what's not broken? Conversely, try exploring these feelings further and see what happens. It'd be awful hard to go through life with the burden of not being with who you want because of preconceived notions of gender.

All things said, don't come out until you know where you stand though ...otherwise you can set yourself up for some real humiliation.

I hope I have helped, but ultimately it can take a lot of introspection to sort out how you feel.

Be happy that you've found the right place to get insight!

[M. Wolfe]

The weird thing is though, I am not attracted to masculinity.. Things like big muscles, broad faces, tattoos, hairiness, being tough, don't arouse me at all. As a guy I will never be sexually attracted to these things. Whenever I fantasize about another guy it always seems to be a younger, slim/skinny, boyish type of guy. It's almost like I'm just attracted to femininity, sensitivity...and it doesn't even matter if it's a guy or a girl. It has started to really confuse me... Is this bi? I am starting to think I am attracted to types of people, rather than just males vs. females. And the weird thing is, the types of guys I fantasize about seem like they are similar to me...a different version of myself. Can anyone else explain/relate?

It's not weird bro. I have felt the exact same way about guys, the skinnier younger boyish type (I say younger, people my own age group late teens) and masculinity is a turn off. And yes I've noticed to that it's not the same feeling as with girls, it's very different, in fact, it's like there is a different mechanism working in my mind producing a different kind of intimacy with another boy.

Don't worry man, you're not a freak. Out of curiosity, how old are you?

[Indaco76]

...it's not the same feeling as with girls, it's very different, in fact, it's like there is a different mechanism working in my mind producing a different kind of intimacy with another boy.


Exactly, M. Wolfe. It does work the same way for me too, even though I am a woman. I am attracted to femininity and the macho type doesn't to anything for me, except on very rare occasions. And even then, it's not so much the body but the idea of being "passive". I think everybody has a set of characteristics they are attracted to, and for bisexuals they just happen to be grouped either in a male or in a female body. Most of the time it's a sort of "energy mix", but on the physical plane I've noticed that I tend to be attracted to cute but masculine girls and feminine boys. It's like the Tao symbol: there has to be a touch of black in the white and vice versa.

So, to answer the original post, I agree with what's been said already: do not judge or over-analyze your attractions and please do not think you're a freak or something. You are just a human being with his own likes and dislikes, who happens to be more open to the various nuances of his sexuality than most people are, both in the straight and in the homosexual world.
Just my :2cents:

So relax and enjoy...
Indaco
:flag2:

[M. Wolfe]

It's like the Tao symbol: there has to be a touch of black in the white and vice versa.

That's a very good way to put it. Girls who act or can act boyish, is always nice, and in guys; a streak of femininity is also very nice. I was talking to someone about this and I said that for those who are more androgynous (the nicer ones), if their gender/sex is not blurred by their appearance and it is clearly a girl or boy, it's great, otherwise it's a bit off putting.

[Indaco76]

I totally agree. As long as the gender of the person is clear, the more "mixed", the more interesting for me. Androginy rules! :tongue:

[Intimate_Light]

The weird thing is though, I am not attracted to masculinity.. Things like big muscles, broad faces, tattoos, hairiness, being tough, don't arouse me at all. As a guy I will never be sexually attracted to these things. Whenever I fantasize about another guy it always seems to be a younger, slim/skinny, boyish type of guy. It's almost like I'm just attracted to femininity, sensitivity...and it doesn't even matter if it's a guy or a girl. It has started to really confuse me... Is this bi? I am starting to think I am attracted to types of people, rather than just males vs. females. And the weird thing is, the types of guys I fantasize about seem like they are similar to me...a different version of myself. Can anyone else explain/relate?

Aaamc,

Another ditto for you from me, too:

A) What turns me as and in men and women is the same thing: slim, ethereal, etc.
B) It's not weird. Cuz...

Body types are a form of manifest or in-the-flesh archetypes -- so what what is attracted to physically reflects a deeper mind/heart/soul type with which our personalities best resonate.

This also applies to whether one is attracted to the yin or yang opposite body and personality type. Some are attracted to their opposites, others to the same. In my case, while not fem at all, I have a slim/skinny biosuit and only feel attracted to same.

Now, the only problem with this attracted-to-slim/skinny is that there is as much societal judgment against it as there is reverence for it (much media made). To take the example of the U.S. compared to say India or China, most people in the U.S. are not the slim/skinny type unlike many Asian countries.

It's easy to get sucked into judging one thing or the other or tripping on double-standards whether one is slimmer than average, average, or larger than average. I honor all body types and attractions, but I'm wired as I'm wired and like what I like.

Which is neither better or worse, it just is what it is.