Quick Hits: this is what Biphobia looks like gay.com style

[nyabn_webmaster]

Obviously quite a few people are really taking the concept of being an "April
Fool" to heart this year. Now gay.com one of THE Most Popular online men's
personals, chat and social networking sites in the United States decided to post
an "Op-Ed" piece in their 'Hot Topics' section entitled "Can Guys Actually Be
Bisexual?" And you'll NEVER Guess what they concluded . . . they can't!

http://binetusa.blogspot.com/2009/04/quick-hits-this-is-what-biphobia-looks.html

and the bisexual author Ron Suresha wrote and excellent rebuttal piece here:

Gay.com needs education in bi male sexuality
http://ronsuresha.com/?p=1800

[darkeyes]

...."Can Guys Actually Be
Bisexual?" And you'll NEVER Guess what they concluded . . . they can't!




http://ronsuresha.com/?p=1800

Cudda fooled me numba a times we get hit on by bi guys wen we go out...:eek::tong:

[nyabn_webmaster]

Cudda fooled me numba a times we get hit on by bi guys wen we go out...:eek::tong:

*clap* *clap* *clap* Good Answer, Good Answer

[TheKnaveOfHearts]

Foul. But on the plus side, there are a lot of enlightened responses to that post that affirm the reality of male bisexuality. Too bad the writer of that "article" prefers to live in darkness.

:flag4:

[nyabn_webmaster]

What did you think of Ron's rebuttle?

[TheKnaveOfHearts]

What did you think of Ron's rebuttle?

I agree with Ron wholeheartedly.

[NakedInSeattle]

Applause, applause, applause! And I'm buying the book he suggested. Ron is my new mentor.:)

[Lonewolf76]

Applause, applause, applause! And I'm buying the book he suggested. Ron is my new mentor.:)

You'll LOVE the book! Highly recommended. It's filled with a lot of perspective and facts and written with an excellent sense of humor. LW

[nyabn_webmaster]

Applause, applause, applause! And I'm buying the book he suggested. Ron is my new mentor.:)

Ron is a well know bisexual author, editor and writer himself, see here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Suresha

[NakedInSeattle]

Yes, thanks...and bought one of his books, too.

[nyabn_webmaster]

LOL! Holy Sh_t when you decide you like someting you don't waste any time do you

[Bi-Zarro]

A question for the men on this board who are frequently within the "gay community" (i.e. you regularly go to gay bars, clubs, etc. -- maybe you've had relations with gay men before) -- how often do you encounter this kind of crap in real life?

[nyabn_webmaster]

A question for the men on this board who are frequently within the "gay community" (i.e. you regularly go to gay bars, clubs, etc. -- maybe you've had relations with gay men before) -- how often do you encounter this kind of crap in real life?

now that's a great question! The answers will be interesting to hear.

[vittoria]

Fkk Gay.com's blissful ignorance in the eye with a red hot poker.

[M. Wolfe]

What did you think of Ron's rebuttle?

It was alright but it was awful angry. I know that may be justified, but really it's hard to make a convincing argument when you're steaming from the ears.

I looked up the book on Amazon and saw this review:

"Wow, I never thought I'd like this, it's for gay guys too!"
5 stars.


Who'd think that a dyed-in-the-wool gay guy would get so much out of a book called this. It's not a great title, because it limits who's going to pick it up, but geez, it's funny. I laughed out loud a few times and called a few of my friends to read sections of it. It's a humor book, and it has a lot of facts in it too.

Like every gay guy, I've had my share of relatioships with supposedly straight or bi guys who I always think are going to leave me for a girl, and they often do. Well, I wish I had that funny contract at the back of the book about what to fill out for my partners. I love it. Like the section that limits your partner's "other partner" to leaving one foot on the floor at all times, or not leaving a toothbrush over at the house.

I'm most fascinated about the celebs they have talking to them, and also the scientific research, good and bad about bi people. I didn't knw there was so much about it, and so much confusion. I love the animals section, where everything from snails to whales show incidents of going both ways.

Even if you're not promiscuous, or if you're straight, or gay, of if you've ever wondered or wandered the other way, you'll find something enjoyable in this. It's a perfect bathroom book, to pick up and read while sitting there. I've bought three copies for guys who wll at first get offended, but I've marked the pages they should read. Thanks Nicole and Michael for a good laugh.

[darkeyes]

Fkk Gay.com's blissful ignorance in the eye with a red hot poker.

..am wivya ther V.... muah!:bigrin:

[rissababynta]

nya-Just ignore the writers at Gay.com they are idiots and Gay.com is not the largest male2male personal/sex site anymore.

Did you actually have a point in posting this or did you just want to stir up drama?

I could have cared less about Ron's rebuttal. It seemed more like a rant and a pointless waste of energy.

Zarro-I do not encounter this at all and I almost exclusively have relationships with gay men.

People post about biphobia from other sites quite often...why is it only when Nya is posting about it, it is stiring up drama?

[Lonewolf76]

nya-Just ignore the writers at Gay.com they are idiots and Gay.com is not the largest male2male personal/sex site anymore.

Did you actually have a point in posting this or did you just want to stir up drama?

I could have cared less about Ron's rebuttal. It seemed more like a rant and a pointless waste of energy.

Zarro-I do not encounter this at all and I almost exclusively have relationships with gay men.


My own personal opinion (and I'll probably get flammed for it) I think it was awesome that NYA posted this - it gives us the opportunity to 1) go to the site and rebut the article. The more of us that stand up the soooner this bi bigotry bullshit will end, 2) gave me a chance to see that the majority of gays on the site blasted Ari's article and DO recognize that bisexuals exist and the bigotry and hatred needs to stop. 3) Combined effort - There are a large group of gays that acknowledge us - so if we stand up for ourselves and rebut this trash - things will change faster. Sure some will say - Who care's - why are you so worked up about it - I've been hit with that before... Because by ACTIVELY standing up and saying this bullshit is unacceptable - I may or may not change the world - but I sleep better at night knowing I did SOMETHING. If all the gays had simply let things go - without standing up for themselves - they'd still be as oppressed as they were in the 60's - Keep Posting NYA - It is appreciated!!!! Just my :2cents:

[Lonewolf76]

A question for the men on this board who are frequently within the "gay community" (i.e. you regularly go to gay bars, clubs, etc. -- maybe you've had relations with gay men before) -- how often do you encounter this kind of crap in real life?

I have seen it - I frequent gay clubs/bars and as I'm talking to a guy - the conversation generally comes around to "when did you know you were gay" or "How long have you been out"? etc. I answer - "I'm not gay - I'm bisexual" or "I came out as bisexual last year". I make it plain that I am not gay - I'm bisexual. I have gotten responses from as nasty as "Oh, you're one of THOSE" and the guy walks off -to- "that's cool" and I end up having a wonderful night with a great guy. I was even in a heated discussion (not violent - just animated) one night that I was just a confused fag that needed to realize what I was! As I defended myself - several gay guys jumped in and defended me as well - stating that bisexuals DO exist and the jerk who was arguing was a narrow-minded idiot to think otherwise.(Not MY words - the words of his gay friends). So I have seen the good and the bad out there. I stand my ground. If I go to a gay club or bar - I always let them know what I am - no false advertising. Then they make their own decision - they either want to get to know me - or they don't. But I do not allow them to tell me I am a closet queen who hasn't made a decision. If you can educate just one and change their perspective - you've made progress.

[12voltman59]

Thanks for the post Nyabn---it does seem that the "nattering nabobs of negativism" that serve as the voices of the cultural arbiters are really on a roll of late to try do diss the existence of bisexuality---especially male bisexuality----they just don't seem to want to recognize and/or accept it.

They are relying on the Orwellian concept of "tell a lie enough ways, enough times and it becomes 'TRUTH'!"

They seem to want to quash any notion that bisexuality--at least for men---is something that is real.

[rissababynta]

I must say, I consider myself quite lucky to have never experienced any bi-phobio directed at myself personally. However, I'm sure it would be much different if I wasn't female.

In either case, I just don't understand why everyone in the world can't simply live and let live. Everyone being attacked would be happy to be left alone and all those so worried about what everyone else is doing would fee a LOT less stress and would probably be able to worry about more important things like paying their bills on time and doing well at their job...ya know...the NORMAL things that a human being should be worrying about haha.

[nyabn_webmaster]

Thanks for the post Nyabn

You are welcome.

And also because we've been on here for a while and we're guessing from the comments that people don't realize this, but we are a Civil-rights and support group in the NYC area. NYABN stands for the New York Area Bisexual Network.

http://www.nyabn.org

Since Drew seems to be gone we can't get new groups, websites or anytiing into the links section anymore (or have dead ones removed). So we put info over here on ocasion, even if we sometimes feel uncomfortable doing it since it isn't always a good "fit" with a discussion area.

So just for people's general information, if you are looking for other bisexual/fluid/pansexual support systems in the USA see this page here:

http://www.binetusa.org/Pages/network.html

[M. Wolfe]

In either case, I just don't understand why everyone in the world can't simply live and let live.

Tis called "Politics" m' dear.

It's something common to all animals of higher brain function. Every group of cows has an out cast, every pecking-order has a bottom chicken. However, apes (that means us, too) are particularly violent.

[nyabn_webmaster]

nya-Just ignore the writers at Gay.com they are idiots and Gay.com is not the largest male2male personal/sex site anymore.

Did you actually have a point in posting this or did you just want to stir up drama?

I could have cared less about Ron's rebuttal. It seemed more like a rant and a pointless waste of energy.

Zarro-I do not encounter this at all and I almost exclusively have relationships with gay men.

:bibounce: Hello Bisexual India, so nice to meet you.:bibounce:

Though I live in America (Brooklyn NYC) now, we were actually "neighbors" of a sort since I am originally from Asia (HK SAR). And I have also spent some lovely holiday time in Inda as a chld.

As mentioned in another entry, NYABN is actually a Group Id for a local Bisexual/Fluid/Pansexual Group which is associated with the US's national group BiNet USA. All of the items in this post have to do with the current climate within the greater Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community in United States and to a lesser extent Canada. So you may wish to look at it as an interesting article on international afairs.

But I can see how you might think it all a bit odd. As an HK ex-pat now living abroad I sometimes become very frustrated trying to make people understand that their particular little village, city, state or even country is NOT the world. And that the way things are done in their town and the customs of their particular set are also NOT what is done or necessarily should be done elsewhere.

Are you the member of any Bisexual or Gay groups in your area? If you are I would love to hear about them and what they are doing.