Why women are leaving men for other women

[Brian]

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/23/o.women.leave.menfor.women/index.html

Several articles in the mainstream press lately about bisexuality. Hmmmm.

- Drew :paw:

[catalyst]

interesting that two red head ladies got together and stayed that way

quote from article:
the new buzz phrase coming out of contemporary studies is "sexual fluidity."

"People always ask me if this research means everyone is bisexual. No, it doesn't," says Lisa Diamond, Ph.D, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah and author of the 2008 book "Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire."

"Fluidity represents a capacity to respond erotically in unexpected ways due to particular situations or relationships. It doesn't appear to be something a woman can control."

well my first reaction is i wanted an academic job where I can get paid for researcing sex! but yes certainly where i live in brighton uk, where stigma is less and people can be open at work and prosper yes there is more fluidity

i prefer fluidity to bi-sexual, maybe this is because i also have bi-polar and neither my sexuality or my mental health can be gaged between two states

fluidity challenges alot more, bisexual to me is not individual enough

cat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Bi-Zarro]

Looking at the comments on that page, you'd think most people had never heard of the word "bisexual." Sigh.

I don't think we'll ever know what percentage of the population is bisexual, at least not until the stigma attached to same-sex attraction completely vanishes, which I suspect won't be coming for some time.

[cand86]

Several articles in the mainstream press lately about bisexuality. Hmmmm.

I have a feeling a lot of it has to do with the "What Do Women Want?" (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?pagewanted=all) article that was featured in the NY Times and mentioned almost everywhere else (because monkey sex is sooo salacious!). I know it's certainly had more people talking about sexual fluidity and bisexuality on various forums and whatnot.

That explains the press on female bisexuality . . . couldn't tell ya why the bi boys are finally getting some deserved attention, only now.

Also, am I the only one who hates this phrase "women leaving men for other women"? Lindsay Lohan didn't leave a boyfriend for Samantha, and Cynthia Nixon met Christine a year after divorcing her husband. These are women who had previous relationships with men, now in relationships with women. "Leaving men for other women" is disingenuous, not to mention puts the matter in stark, "you better be scared, boys!" terms. Ugh.

[darkeyes]

Ya has a point Cand.. but it happens.. left me x hubbie for a woman (not me present partner).. an Kate left 'er hubbie 2 cum bak 2 me (tf!)... goes otha way an all.. men leave women for otha men.. but often we meet wen both r unnattached, fall an go wer the heart takes us...:)

[onewhocares]

Interesting subject to say the least.

For those who do not know me, my name is Belle and I am the straight wife of a bisexual man from Boston. My experience prior to coming to this site was well, and I am now embarrassed to admit it, was nil about knowing about bisexuality even though my husband had told me long before we were married that he had been with men. Guess I never really thought much about it.

In the last four or five years my horizons have been opened and whole new and most interesting world has opened up for me. Originally it was a sexual awakening for my husband and I was along for the ride. I came to this site to learn and possibly find answers to question I had but found instead a group of people who are willing to give of themselves and answer questions, give advice, offer personal experiences to help another. As such I have felt that I must give back to those who welcomed me.

One of the ways in which I have chosen to give back is to question the roles that we as humans have in each others lives. I have always been interested in the way people perceive sexuality. I found it a double standard that the general populace would accept that a woman would be acceptable to have a female lover as well as a husband and a man that had a bisexual wife was in heaven. Secretly I think other men assumed that he would have threesomes with them all the time. ( I think NOT) Yet when a man wished to have a male lover as well as a wife he was considered "gay".

I remember on particular Sunday evening in winter when we would have friends over for pot luck suppers. Somehow the conversation was on how women were taking female lovers. The issue of how it is natural for a woman to be attracted to another woman was then the topic of discussion...how it is normal and not looked upon as pervish. I said that I thought that it was a most acceptable idea. The men there...all straight with one exception being my husband who is bi but who was not out to the others ( and not part of this discussion)..all felt that it was really erotic to have their wives or girlfriends have a girl friend. Jocularity and somewhat snide remarks followed.

Well I said, well what if I wanted a male lover and have hubby also? That was dismissed by the two men with whom I was having this discussion as not a possibility. (Little did they know that it was my reality) I said it was a double standard. It is OK for me to have a female lover but not a lover and a husband.

I think that the last couple of years has proven that acceptance of woman finding a relationship with another woman is very much on the rise and more and more in the mainstream. The reason for this is multifaceted I believe, but the personal relationship of those in the public eye....be it Ellen, or Lindsay or Cynthia Nixon to name but a few has contributed to the rise in acceptance as well as the empowerment of women as a whole.

Now if we could just get the world to admit that it is fine and dandy for a woman to have two male lovers who interact with her and each other or a bisexual man to have a male lover and a wife the road ahead for the future would be a little less rocky.

Not sure if what I had to say made any headway but it is my :2cents:

Belle

[meteast chick]

I didn't leave my husband for anyone, man or woman. After I asked for a divorce I decided to take the curious out of bicurious and found what I really needed with women. Yes for awhile there I was going back and forth between men and women. I was just not getting my emotional needs with the guys. Of course there were friends of mine who told me I was just doing it because my ex had soured me on men. Not so. I can now proudly hold up my head and say I'M LESBIAN AND LOVE IT!!!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxox
meteast