Are you worried about being outed?

[bityme]

If you are closeted, do you worry about being outed?

Here is something to think about. Everything you write in this site can be googled. I was trying to see if I could find an original author for my signature comment, so I plugged it into Google. What came up was the posts on this site in which my signature statement appeared.:eek:

Maybe we are not as secure as we think.:yikes2:

[M. Wolfe]

When I was closeted, I was very worried. I had one friend who, if he really thought about it, he had enough clues and cues to be able to work it out. I was scared he would. Also I refused to get drunk for the single reason that I may do or say something that would get me found out. I was a very worried teen.

[Georgie_Girl]

The only person I might worry about is my dad, I've not told him but he's on my friends list on Myspace, so if he hasn't read my profile and found out already, I'd be surprised. :rainbow:

[Lonewolf76]

I don't worry about it - Like Popeye says - "I yam what I yam!!" Those who really know me - know. When it comes up - I admit that I am and move on. Not a big deal with me.

[veganbigmac]

I used to worry about that, but the plain fact of the matter is that the people who will treat you different when they find out are usually too afraid to confront you and ask if what they've been told is true. I go to a really rural college (one of the dorms is called "Deer Camp") and I was afraid when I came out to my friends up here that they would out me. One did, and I was really afraid of getting beaten up. To give you an idea of why, last year at Halloween a bunch of the redneck kids thought it'd be a hoot to go around to house parties dressed up like clansmen. Well it turns out my fears were entirely unfounded. I went to a couple of parties at Deer Camp and they were all pretty cool about the whole bit. I had a chance to see the other side of the tracks, and it turns out that most rednecks don't give a shit if you're gay or bi or whatever, as long as you don't hit on them or joke with them about it. Given that chewing tobacco, cheap beer, John Deere, overalls, camo, and Carharts are all major turnoffs, that's never a problem. Rednecks are just really afraid of compromising their image by going along with candid remarks, so if you avoid being cheeky you can (usually) have a great time.

Being outed does suck for a little while, but if you just roll with the punches, it can turn out to be a great thing.

[Bi_Druid]

I was only really worried about being outed to my folks before I as ready to do it myself. To anyone else it wasn't really all that big a thing, and when ever the subject came up with others, it really wasn't all that big a thing.

I feel it's really just how you go about it; if they don't ask, they obviously don't really care. And if they do, just take it in a positive attitude and it really doesn't become all that big a thing.

I found a good response if someone does ask "are you agy/bi/whatever?" I just reply "Why'd you ask, are you interested?" *knowing wink n smile*. The sensible people normally just laugh and forget the subject as ever bought up, the silly people get a bit unnerved at the readiness and leave off.
Or sometimes, they might just be interested:cool:...

[bityme]

I guess I didn't pose this thread very well. I was more interested in your reaction to the fact that our posts on this site are available through Google. There doesn't seem to be any safeguard to prevent anyone in the world from accessing our posts.

[elian]

Most of us use aliases here for that reason, some people prefer to post - err - "alternative" pictures to their profiles for that reason as well.

There are people who I would prefer not to be out to, but the community I've found here is mostly supportive so I figure it's worth the risk. I've got to give myself at least a little breathing room to be who I am.

In a related subject, appreciate everyone on here putting up with my crap.

-E

[jem_is_bi]

I have posted a lot on this website. I am not out and I am not worried about be outed because of my posts. If (when) I am outed, it is unlikely that it will be because of my posts on this website. Rather, I find myself in a situation where my male lover and I may need to take actions (but hope to avoid) that draw unwanted attention from those that do not approve (especially family). This will require me to be out, and fight for what I am determined not to lose.
I am not comfortable with the possibility of being out and would rather avoid it. But, I am more motivated to do what is necessary to avoid regrets with the totality of my life.

[M. Wolfe]

but the plain fact of the matter is that the people who will treat you different when they find out are usually too afraid to confront you and ask if what they've been told is true.

I know exactly what you mean. I told my friends, we moved on to the next subject. Later Matt got into the discussion wanting to understand my feelings and desires with each gender, then again, we moved on. I thought that'd be the end of it. Months later the conversation eventually came back to it and I find that none of them understood yet have been conjecturing about it when I wasn't around for ages.

I told them all to man up and ask when they don't know/understand. I'm not ashamed to talk about it and will give honest answers.

[meteast chick]

I was only worried about being outed at work for concern about their policies. I was quiet and only told very few of my closest work friends who were very surprised saying how feminine I was...holy shit feminine women can be lesbians!!!???!!!

So finally, nearly 3 years into working at this place, I checked into the Ethics policy only to find out that my fears were validated that sexual orientation was not listed amongst the topics of "race, sex, religion, etc" that you couldn't be terminated or harassed for.

Being as I'm in a union, I emailed the Union President to ask. She wasn't very sure saying she'd make sure it was included in our next contract. Nice since we just did our contract and it doesn't expire for another 3 years!!! I then responded to her email stating I wanted confirmation of that, if I could potentially be terminated or targeted for my sexual orientation. She got ahold of some bigwig in the company who said that sexual orientation was included in the antidiscrimination group of 'sex'. Hmm...and all those years I thought that that meant male or female...silly me. She did make sure to tell me to keep that email she sent me with the name of that person. Feels nice knowing I should have back up...just in case.

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

[jamieknyc]

I was only worried about being outed at work for concern about their policies. I was quiet and only told very few of my closest work friends who were very surprised saying how feminine I was...holy shit feminine women can be lesbians!!!???!!!

So finally, nearly 3 years into working at this place, I checked into the Ethics policy only to find out that my fears were validated that sexual orientation was not listed amongst the topics of "race, sex, religion, etc" that you couldn't be terminated or harassed for.

Being as I'm in a union, I emailed the Union President to ask. She wasn't very sure saying she'd make sure it was included in our next contract. Nice since we just did our contract and it doesn't expire for another 3 years!!! I then responded to her email stating I wanted confirmation of that, if I could potentially be terminated or targeted for my sexual orientation. She got ahold of some bigwig in the company who said that sexual orientation was included in the antidiscrimination group of 'sex'. Hmm...and all those years I thought that that meant male or female...silly me. She did make sure to tell me to keep that email she sent me with the name of that person. Feels nice knowing I should have back up...just in case.

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

State or local law may bar discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, regardless of whether it is addressed in your union contract. Ask a lawyer, or if you don't have one, a local LGBT organization.

[noabody]

I'm not worried anymore. I've yet to meet someone personally that could wrap their mind around bisexuality. Not my parents, siblings, spouse, friends, etc. People are far more concerned about getting laid than talking about sexuality be it their own or anyone else's. Coming out is sort of a ploy, trying to attract a certain type of people and keep the others away.