Is this normal for a bisexual?

[DeShawn2]

Although I'm bisexual, I'm not all that sexual to begin with.

Frankly, I feel like something's wrong with me and that I'm missing out on this whole world because I'm not a slut.

I've tried sex with 3 guys in the past, but each time, it was just an abrasively boring catastrophe. They were hot, but it's like my brain and body weren't wired to go for the gold with them.

I guess my big thing is that I'm not good at separating the physical from the emotional, so, perhaps, people have to get to know me before they can "get to know me."

Is this a normal, "this too shall pass" phase or are some people simply just wired like this?

Thank you all!

[sometimesitbethatway]

I totally think its normal. And being bisexual isnt necessarily just about physical stuff. Theres also the ability to just fall in love with people of both sexes. If you just naturally aren't that sexual, it's just how you are.

[rissababynta]

Just because you are into guys doesn't mean that you are going to have a kick ass time with every guy you're ever with, right?

[graytwo]

Although I'm bisexual, I'm not all that sexual to begin with.

Frankly, I feel like something's wrong with me and that I'm missing out on this whole world because I'm not a slut.

I've tried sex with 3 guys in the past, but each time, it was just an abrasively boring catastrophe. They were hot, but it's like my brain and body weren't wired to go for the gold with them.

I guess my big thing is that I'm not good at separating the physical from the emotional, so, perhaps, people have to get to know me before they can "get to know me."

Is this a normal, "this too shall pass" phase or are some people simply just wired like this?

Thank you all!

Chill....! Grief quit dumping stuff on yourself. There a couple key statements in your post such as.. slut, go for the gold for them, wired like this..? .

We are all "wired" differently, what kicks your switch might not kick mine. So, is that a problem? NOT!

All I can say is, do whatever that makes you happy. If you like girls - so be it, if you like boys - so be it, if you like both - so be it. Your the person that will throttle up a partner and not be used by any person(s). Me thinks, just as a male, if Ladies were more open about their sexual urges and split them from the emotional like males do.. [ok, we can't hit the toilet and leave the seat up BUT sometimes - we do get close.] ;) It would be easier for all of us, males and females, if we wouldn't consistently try to second guess ourself about being "normal".

So... chill, take a deep breath and understand your closer to being "normal" than what you see on TV, internet or other venues.

just my thoughts

[Rudy75]

Maybe you're just going too fast.

Slow down and enjoy the trip.

Every night of passion has its upd and downs (literally!).

[elian]

Some people are more romantically inclined rather than physical - it's sad that people who look for same sex partners can't really be open about it - kind of drives folks to do things they might not normally do..I mean a straight boy and girl can sit on a park bench and kiss or hold hands and not too much is said about it.

I think that maybe you are pushing a little too hard, I know for a long time I wanted to prove to myself one way or another if I was "straight enough" to get married and be happy.. That's the funny thing about being bi - at least in my experience if you are looking to prove that sort of thing to yourself it throws you for a loop every time.

Just when I thought I would be happy with a lady a cute guy would come into my life, and just when I thought I was all about guys then I would see a nice lady.

That whole thing about "Double your chances for a date Saturday Night" is a little too naive about the reality of what it REALLY feels like having to live with uncertainty about something that a lot of other people just take for granted.

One night stands DO serve a purpose - especially if you are just curious but if you are looking for a deep, meaningful emotional connection then they absolutely suck.

I finally just resigned myself to give up on the labels, love people for who they are and if I make a true connection with someone then so be it..

[_Joe_]

Are you on any types of medications for anything ?

If so, have you checked into side effects ?

[shybipinay]

It's perfectly normal, but if you are not happy of comfortable with it, you can change it all with a change in thinking. It's easier said than done, but it is always possible. My wife is like you and I am her polar opposite. It makes for a very interesting relationship.

Joe's response is also a perfectly valid question. Of course, you only have to answer that to yourself.

You're as normal as the rest of us. Explore and enjoy the journey.

[jem_is_bi]

Romanctic feelings take time and the right person to happen. Just, relax and have fun. Then, if all is right, after many fun encounters you will have :smirlove2

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Darlin...you're trying too hard. Just take it easy and let life progress as it will. Dont be in such a hurry either. You dont Have to be a slut and you can take it as slow as you like. No hurry. When the right person, time and scenerio comes along, you'll know it. When you do find someone who you are greatly attracted to, your mind and body will know and it'll let you know. lol
Have fun and be safe always. ;)
BTW, Welcome Back.
Cat

[Hoosier Sam]

Define normal! What is normal for another may not be normal for you. Oh yeah, polls are designed to show an average, but can easily be skewed to get the results that the pollster wants, so they should be taken with a grain of salt usually.

If not cumfortable with someone, or something, that does not make you abnormal, just different from the one you are with!

[drbones89]

yes it is, for me anyway. the big thing for me is love and not lust. i like sex but the person needs to be into me as a person and not just into my body. im assuming youre the same way, make sure you find a person you can trust and who isnt going to take advantage of you just for your body.

[trubipoly]

I totally think its normal. And being bisexual isnt necessarily just about physical stuff. Theres also the ability to just fall in love with people of both sexes. If you just naturally aren't that sexual, it's just how you are.

my exact feeling

[totchune]

There is no such a thing as "normal". Some things are natural, like breathing, but nature's expressions are very diverse, some creatures breathe under water.

You have to sort out what you are looking for. In my opinion, a person whose heart, mind, body and spirit are totally connected and integrated is very healthy...conversely, a person whose sexuality and emotions/feelings are not connected is a little neurotic. That's just my opinion.

Whatever works for people according to their nature, personality and stage of development is fine.

Ultimately, it's about happiness, right? If sex without feelings makes someone happy, then that's the way it ought to be for them...sex as "recreation", or sex as an expression of emotional intimacy and closeness (the most frightening for most people), sex is always self-expression.

[alegrias]

Sounds like you're looking for an emotional as well as physical connection to people. If that's not normal, I don't know what is.

If you want both, it takes time. Get to know your partners before you try anything physical with them. Great things cum to those who wait.

[noabody]

The opposite is probably more prevalent and more damaging. Wanting sex all the time discolors every situation. How can you treat someone fairly when all you want to do is jump or be jumped by them. Subconsciously the intent comes through. How about a lifetime trying to balance that out, wishing the thoughts would just go away.

It's going to be a search but the right person is out there. By the law of averages, there's probably a dozen. We weren't designed to be alone.

[bityme]

Although I'm bisexual, I'm not all that sexual to begin with.

Frankly, I feel like something's wrong with me and that I'm missing out on this whole world because I'm not a slut.

I've tried sex with 3 guys in the past, but each time, it was just an abrasively boring catastrophe. They were hot, but it's like my brain and body weren't wired to go for the gold with them.

I guess my big thing is that I'm not good at separating the physical from the emotional, so, perhaps, people have to get to know me before they can "get to know me."

You might be trying to apply someone else's definition of "bisexual" to yourself and are finding it doesn't fit.

Sexuality, bi or otherwise, isn't always about a hot, sticky, sweaty, nerve-racking physical event. Sometimes it is about closeness, just having someone near and feeling the emotional connection. Cuddling close to another for hours and cherishing their warmth is often better than an instant of climax. It has been said that the journey is often better than the destination.

[trubipoly]

I totally think its normal. And being bisexual isnt necessarily just about physical stuff. Theres also the ability to just fall in love with people of both sexes. If you just naturally aren't that sexual, it's just how you are.

well said sexy

[JohniBi]

Well, for me there's always the issue of "If I have a girlfriend, and I get with a guy, does that mean I'm cheating?" The answer I came up with for myself is "yes". If I'm in a committed relationship with a man, then I'm gay until we break up. If I'm with a woman, then I'm straight til we split. That is unless my partner is open to that. But I'm not trying to be preachy here, if you find yourself asking questions like this, the only person who can answer is you.

[PolyLoveTriad]

Well, for me there's always the issue of "If I have a girlfriend, and I get with a guy, does that mean I'm cheating?" The answer I came up with for myself is "yes". If I'm in a committed relationship with a man, then I'm gay until we break up. If I'm with a woman, then I'm straight til we split. That is unless my partner is open to that. But I'm not trying to be preachy here, if you find yourself asking questions like this, the only person who can answer is you.

I dont think they wanted to know if that was cheating or not. Maybe you misread the question?

[JohniBi]

I dont think they wanted to know if that was cheating or not. Maybe you misread the question?

I was jsut saying that questions like this can only be answered by yourself. The whole "cheating" thing was an example of something I needed to figure out for myself too.