Becoming very discouraged

[guycurious]

We've been searching for over two years for a couple with a bi male. Our first find didn't pan out very well. The four of us clicked well, we had one night of fun (he broke one of the rules), we went out for dinner once again but the night ended at our doorstep.

We found another bi couple at a lifestyle club's Halloween party. We had fun with each other and exchanged phone numbers. We did meet up once again and had a blast but haven't heard from them for a while.

About two weeks ago we stumbled upon a bi couple who lives about 10 minutes from us. We started chatting online and all seemed to be going well until last night. During the course of conversation he revealed they weren't married, just in a relationship. Well, we had ASSUMED because they mentioned kids they were married as we prefer married couples with kids. Our rationing is married couples with kids are less prone to engage in risky behavior.

Well, I explained our preference for a married couple w/ kids and his response was, "Are you kidding me ?!?"

That right there was the deal breaker right there. His response kinda' struck a nerve. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive but his response seemed insensitive.

Honestly, I wouldn't wish our scenario upon anyone. Being a bi married male really sucks at times. There are plenty of bi males out there and if we could find one that was interested in having a committed relationship with us we'd jump on it (pun intended).

This inability to satisfy my bi desires is incredibly frustrating. Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox.

[JP1986UM]

I agree. Its been downright frustrating to find married couples where the male is gay/bi and they have their shit together.

I am in the same exact situation as you are, and yes it sucks, but you forage ahead wanting to find that one special guy to have that deeper relationship with and fulfill your bisexuality self.

I've dated a few men from here and elsewhere, but have found nothing since I came out of the closet 7 months ago. It seems whenever you find someone you really click with something else always gets in the way. Its either she really isn't accepting of his sexuality, or there are social conflicts, or the two of us just can't find time to be together and get to know each other personally, let alone be sexual. And like you, I don't want to be a whore. Its too risky and the wife won't accept me sleeping around, as well she shouldn't. So I still look for that one couple we can close the loop with and work from there.

So you just keep trying. Don't give up.:male:

[rissababynta]

I don't think it was appropriate for him to openly react that way, as it is a bit rude, but if I was in his situation the same thing would run through my head. All I would be thinking is "ok, these people like us, we get along, we're a couple and we have kids but since there isn't a certificate involved we aren't good enough anymore?". I suppose I can sympathize with both sides. But hey, a preference is a preference ya know?

I personally find it frustrating to look for ANYONE now a days unless you are looking for a quickie. I've known that I was into women since I was 11 and do you think I've had ANY luck at all besides a few kisses from interested people here and there? HELL no...yeah...I'm pretty darn frustrted too. But I am not about to sell myself short and just meet up with someone for a one night stand just for the sake of getting to do it...I know what I want and I'm not going to be happy with anything less.

[guycurious]

I don't think it was appropriate for him to openly react that way, as it is a bit rude, but if I was in his situation the same thing would run through my head. All I would be thinking is "ok, these people like us, we get along, we're a couple and we have kids but since there isn't a certificate involved we aren't good enough anymore?". I suppose I can sympathize with both sides. But hey, a preference is a preference ya know?

I personally find it frustrating to look for ANYONE now a days unless you are looking for a quickie. I've known that I was into women since I was 11 and do you think I've had ANY luck at all besides a few kisses from interested people here and there? HELL no...yeah...I'm pretty darn frustrted too. But I am not about to sell myself short and just meet up with someone for a one night stand just for the sake of getting to do it...I know what I want and I'm not going to be happy with anything less.

I should have included a little more info. The other couple have only been together for a year and the kids are from her previous marriage. To us, a one year old relationship is still in its infancy.

[darkeyes]

I personally find it frustrating to look for ANYONE now a days unless you are looking for a quickie. I've known that I was into women since I was 11 and do you think I've had ANY luck at all besides a few kisses from interested people here and there? HELL no...yeah...I'm pretty darn frustrted too. But I am not about to sell myself short and just meet up with someone for a one night stand just for the sake of getting to do it...I know what I want and I'm not going to be happy with anything less.
Don undasell 1 nite stands Riss.. they can b triff fun.. nev did 'em cos me fancied doin it for the sake a doin it...but cos me fancied the person or persons me did it wiv...

..not sayin peeps shud hav 1 niters..thats ther affair.. but far as me wos concerned till me met Kate..apart from a few relatively speakin.. 1 nite wos all me wonted for gud or ill..:)

... lessen ya count me x hubbie but we nev did it fore we wer married ne way...shudda..mita saved both of us a few years a stress an in my case frustration...:(

[vip2469]

I understand. We seek a single bi male willing to be exclusive with us. The reasons are similar to yours. Safety!! No luck yet.

[rissababynta]

Don undasell 1 nite stands Riss.. they can b triff fun.. nev did 'em cos me fancied doin it for the sake a doin it...but cos me fancied the person or persons me did it wiv...

..not sayin peeps shud hav 1 niters..thats ther affair.. but far as me wos concerned till me met Kate..apart from a few relatively speakin.. 1 nite wos all me wonted for gud or ill..:)

... lessen ya count me x hubbie but we nev did it fore we wer married ne way...shudda..mita saved both of us a few years a stress an in my case frustration...:(

Some people prefer one night stands, but I crave something a little more than that, pesonally.

[rissababynta]

I should have included a little more info. The other couple have only been together for a year and the kids are from her previous marriage. To us, a one year old relationship is still in its infancy.

Well, I can only speak from my opinion over here. My husband and I were together for 5 years before we married. We had two kids by that point and we got married halfway through the pregnancy with number three (and the magistrate was between a motorcycle shop and a gas station...can you hear th banjos? lmao). I remember about a year into our relationship a bunch of our friends got married and they had been with their partners for the same time or less than I had been with my husband. They all got pregnant before marriage, so already had their kids when signing the papers, but that didn't stop any of them from going out drinking, doing drugs, cheating on their spouses and both sides of their relationship were acting like immature fools. My husband and I were amazed and disgusted by what things were like with these couples behind closed doors.

With that being said, and knowing how the majority of my married friends are, if I was rejected either because my relationship was fairly new or because we weren't married, I can't say that my feelings wouldn't have been hurt. Every situation is different so who knows what was going on in his head.

[darkeyes]

Some people prefer one night stands, but I crave something a little more than that, pesonally.Me an all Riss..am eva the soppy romantic...looked for it in me own way tho knew they wern for me..but hav nev been sum 1 2 fall in a big way for every1 me meets.. but fancied lots of em an nev saw ne reason wy me shudn idle away a few hours enjoyin oursels havin fun..wos always lookin for luff an thot me had found it 4 times in me life..an twice it fell apart..1ce she didn wan me in end, an 1ce is wer me is now... it wot me always had been lookin for an don need 2 carry on lookin ne more.. we all look for luff, if thats wot we wan, in our own way.. mine wos peculiar 2 me..an part from a few times.. don regret ovamuch a the way me went bout it..:)

[rissababynta]

Me an all Riss..am eva the soppy romantic...looked for it in me own way tho knew they wern for me..but hav nev been sum 1 2 fall in a big way for every1 me meets.. but fancied lots of em an nev saw ne reason wy me shudn idle away a few hours enjoyin oursels havin fun..wos always lookin for luff an thot me had found it 4 times in me life..an twice it fell apart..1ce she didn wan me in end, an 1ce is wer me is now... it wot me always had been lookin for an don need 2 carry on lookin ne more.. we all look for luff, if thats wot we wan, in our own way.. mine wos peculiar 2 me..an part from a few times.. don regret ovamuch a the way me went bout it..:)

Sorry to hear about the troubles you've had m'dear. Good thing you don't fall big time for everyone. I'm glad I don't either, if I had then I'd be with a complete psycho that probably would have killed my husband to be with me by now lmfao!

[darkeyes]

Sorry to hear about the troubles you've had m'dear. Good thing you don't fall big time for everyone. I'm glad I don't either, if I had then I'd be with a complete psycho that probably would have killed my husband to be with me by now lmfao!
Ta Riss. We've all had trubbles... not all in affairs a the heart.. an they leave ther mark.. but we get ova them dus we not?? Jus as well cos me wud b a mizzy wreck by now if me hadn...:tong:

[Just.Me]

I know how you feel with wanting to have the security of having your rules met since they are the rules set up in your primary and most important relationship, your marriage. I am seeking someone to meet the needs of myself and my marriage, though our rules are different from yours. I have been quietly seeking a woman (live in a smallish town) for myself to enjoy that would not attempt to interfere with my marriage nor try to develop a relationship with me. This is not because of me being against being in a relationship with women but because that is one of the boundaries my husband has asked of me and I respect his wishes.

I wish you the best of luck!

[CoupleinBama8184]

I know how you feel on the situation we are only looking for one woman and everywhere i got it is all men wanting to add me and they are straight men to add to it and it gets annoying because I am bi curious and it seems so hard to find another bi curiouse or straight female willing to just meet us let alone do anything more and i have been married for 6 years 2 kids and stable. So yea I know how you feel on that end of frustration and disappointment as well as being discouraged from searching anymore

[PolyLoveTriad]

I feel your frustration *hugs* Hang in there, someone will come along :)

[FalconAngel]

We know what you're going through. In our case, we keep finding great guys that are either not right for us or are too far away from us.

We found one, that we still chat with when he can get on while we are on, but his job now takes him all over the world, so we don't get to do anything more than chat. We really like him and him, us, but we almost never get to see each other.

For a couple, it is very difficult to find the right single guy/girl or couple.