Generic "Confused" Thread

[silver_wolf]

So, I'm new here, and I joined because about 2 weeks ago I realized I'm very likely bisexual. SO it's been driving me crazy not being able to talk to anyone about it. Why can't I talk about it? Well, I don't really have any friends at school, so that option is out. As for my family, not only do I not feel ready to talk to them about it, but my entire family is hugely religious. And in our religion homosexuality and bisexuality is a sin. Now, I'm religious too, so I happen to agree with this, so it's like I'm being torn in half. On the one hand I don't want to do anything that goes against my beliefs, but on the other hand I don't want to be denying my nature my entire life. I mean it's basically written into me, so what am I supposed to do? And as I said I can't talk to my family about this because they will never let me be "ok" with it. Heck, they'd probably have me meet with my pastor, and then I'd have to go through that whole awkward ordeal. And then if I don't "change", which I think is pretty much impossible, I could potentially be kicked out of my church. And there's already loads of problems in the family, with relatives not talking to each other, so the last thing I want to do is become another one of those ones who "went bad". Ugh. I needed to get that all out, and I'd really appreciate any advice that could be given.:banghead:

[trubipoly]

it always amazes me when I hear someone say they cant let thier church know who they really are or they will get kicked out of the church. arent churches supposed to be non judgemental and loving? there isnt one perfect answer for you dear but i will say that in my opinion if you are not true to who you are with or without aproval of others, you will never be truely happy. Good luck and know that you can always come here to vent or ask questions. just remember to take some advice and leave some behind. it is only advice not the golden rule.

[silver_wolf]

yes, churches are supposed to be like that, but the problem is they're full of humans. anyway, thanks for the reply.

[Georgie_Girl]

I think of it like this. God made us all different, and He loves us all. Why would He hate you for being as He made you? Religious people who are horrid to people who are different (sexuality, looks, anything else they deem wrong) aren't very good Christians. Sometimes it takes a while to accept that you are who you are, and not fight it anymore. Eventually you'll be ready to tell your family, and hopefully they'll accept it. (They may surprise you, my 90 year old grandmother has no issues with LGBT people and we discuss if quite a bit) Don't rush into anything, and trust your gut. I wish you luck.

[I hope I didn't go off topic too much :)]

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Its the whole nature vs nurture gambit, Hon. Being Bi Is natural, its a perfectly natural happening with people, and shouldnt be denied. I understand that that family and church can be a very confusing thing for anyone, but dont deny who you are. And, like I tell a very sweet friend of mine, why tell the family anything?? What you do behind your bedroom door is Your business and yours alone.
I hope you can feel comfortable talking to us here for many of us have faced the same delimma, and hopefully we can ease your mind and answer some questions for you. Come see us in chat too. :}
Hugz
Cat;)

[silver_wolf]

I think of it like this. God made us all different, and He loves us all. Why would He hate you for being as He made you? Religious people who are horrid to people who are different (sexuality, looks, anything else they deem wrong) aren't very good Christians. Sometimes it takes a while to accept that you are who you are, and not fight it anymore. Eventually you'll be ready to tell your family, and hopefully they'll accept it. (They may surprise you, my 90 year old grandmother has no issues with LGBT people and we discuss if quite a bit) Don't rush into anything, and trust your gut. I wish you luck.

[I hope I didn't go off topic too much :)]

You hit the nail on the head, I don't think God hates me. I'm not worried about that at all. But I really don't feel like putting up with all the crap from my family who would assume that I'm in danger of going straight to hell. bleh.:(

And, like I tell a very sweet friend of mine, why tell the family anything?? What you do behind your bedroom door is Your business and yours alone.
yeah, I thought about that. but damn it I want to tell someone, I'm horrible at having important information and keeping it to myself. I'll tell anyone who listens that Gandalf is actually a powerful angelic being in human form (what, that's not important?). And what if it's not just behind the bedroom door? What if I end up finding someone who I'd want to be with for the rest of my life, but others wouldn't approve of? I don't know if it'd be better to just get it out of the way early or wait and see...

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

I understand Hon, but have you been with another man before? I dont doubt you know that you are Bi, all of who are Bi Do know, and have from perhaps childhood. Its just..well, its isnt something you can just come out with that easily.
"Hey Mom great dinner, love the meatloaf and btw I'm a bi-sexual, pass the taters would ya, Dad?" lol I'm making light of it but you get the jist. ;}
I feel your need to tell someone and thats what we here are for. Talk to us and then see if it might feel any easier to come out to others as well.
Good Luck Sweetie. :}
Cat

[silver_wolf]

I understand Hon, but have you been with another man before?

no, tbh, the thought makes me a bit nervous (not necessarily in a bad way), even though I know I'm bi.

I dont doubt you know that you are Bi, all of who are Bi Do know, and have from perhaps childhood. Its just..well, its isnt something you can just come out with that easily.
"Hey Mom great dinner, love the meatloaf and btw I'm a bi-sexual, pass the taters would ya, Dad?" lol I'm making light of it but you get the jist. ;}
:cutelaugh that might almost be worth it just for the effect!:bigrin: but yeah, I know it's not something you can just do.