So confused..please help!

[wigglybum]

Ok, so i'm a 19 year old girl and i don't know if i'm straight or bi.

All my relationships have been with guys, including 1 long-term relationship where I was madly in love, great sex and all the rest. But I think i'm sexually attracted to women. I much prefer to watch lesbian porn to hetero porn, cuz its more sensual and its not just 'sex', i prefer foreplay! Sometimes I fantacise about women, but they're always doing things to ME, and when I was about 11, me and my friend (girl) used to pretend to have sex as a game, and we'd kind of rub off eachother with our clothes on and it used to arouse me, does this mean anything?
I'm not really attracted to penis', they look kind of funny and weird, but i'm not really attracted to vagina's either. I'm so confused! I've kissed some of my friends before but it was just for a laugh. I've always wanted to marry a man and have kids with a man, i don't want to be bi or a lesbian it feels unnatural to me in a way, but other times im really aroused by lesbians, but only in a physical way!

Aaaaghhh please help!

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Give it time, Honeygirl. It'll all happen when its meant to. Patiance, patiance..lol BTW Welcome to the Family. :}
Cat

[Georgie_Girl]

Do you have any bi or lesbian friends you can talk to about it? If so they may be able to help you understand your feelings as they've probably been through it before. Good luck!

[briggitebardot]

well i wouldnt worry to much about it. every one is different! at least admitting that means you can have your cake and eat it too! you can have the best of both worlds!

[totchune]

Ok, so i'm a 19 year old girl and i don't know if i'm straight or bi.

I much prefer to watch lesbian porn to hetero porn, cuz its more sensual and its not just 'sex', i prefer foreplay!

Aaaaghhh please help!

Perhaps the guys you have been with do not know much about foreplay, perhaps they are not very sensual, perhaps they just rush and want to get to intercourse in a hurry and take a shower and be out the door (or whatever)?

You are only 19, so most likely you have been with guys around your age, so could it be that they are a little selfish as well as ignorant of the subtleties and intricacies of female anatomy, or just plain not interested, because they just want to get off in a New York minute?

Being with another woman could teach you a thing or two about sensual foreplay etc, and so could be with a considerate, truly sensual, patient male lover who really enjoys pleasing you...it seems that's what you want, to receive some attention...I imagine though that it is erotic touch and sensuality that turns you on, not body parts. That means you are a feeling human being, not a machine.
That's good!...

[totchune]

I've always wanted to marry a man and have kids with a man, i don't want to be bi or a lesbian it feels unnatural to me in a way, but other times im really aroused by lesbians, but only in a physical way!

Aaaaghhh please help!

We have to make is a distinction between what we want and what we need...What we want comes from the head, what we need comes from the heart and/or body, and the psyche.

When we are in tune with ourselves, we want what we need. When we are not, there is a conflict. We resist our needs, we don't understand them, we fear them, we don't want to be overwhelmed, to loose control.

Loosing control and getting in your heart/body is the best thing you can do...that is were your true identity lays, not in your head. Once you know yourself everything becomes clearer and the path of your life opens up to much greater possibilities.

Do not fear yourself or your feelings. Do not be afraid to feel bisexual feelings. And there is absolutely no need for you to label yourself in any way. Beside, what is wrong with experimenting, what do you have to loose except control?

And who is doing the control, apart from an inner conditioning you have acquired from society that tells you bisexuality is "unnatural"? Bisexuality is quite natural, do not let false judgment and false "morality" (from religions etc) get in the way. The only valid "morality" is to be true to your heart, to follow your heart, to be who you are, to honor yourself (as long as you don't hurt anyone willfully)...you will then find that all paths lead back to love, and there is no higher "morality" than love.

As a matter of fact "morality" comes into play in the world when there is no love.
And there cannot be love when a person suppresses her needs.

Trust yourself! You are human, you are a sensual, sexual being who needs to resonate with another, whether male or female. That's the only way you will know yourself.

And why couldn't you be bisexual and still get married and have kids? This is the 21rst century...find someone who is open to who you are and accepts you completely. But first you need to accept yourself completely.

[open2both]

Take a deep breath, step into your/our "new" world and ... Go baby, GO!

[rissababynta]

The only person who is ever truly going to be able to determine what you're sexuality is all about is you. But first you have to sit back and tell yourself a few things. Number 1: If you are bisexual, it is nothing to be ashamed about because in the end, you are you and that's just the way it is. Number 2: Dwelling upon answers to some questions in life are going to make you a very unhappy person, because sometimes no matter how hard we try there really aren't any great or wanted answers. and Number 3: Don't worry so much about labels! You can say til the day you die that you are straight, or bi, or gay, or a friggin zebra if you really wanted...but at the end of the day you may never really fit into your description and definition of what these are...so why worry about anything other than being you?

I hate to say this too you, but it might take you a while to figure out who you truly are, and that's ok! Just worry about being the happiest person you can be and someday it WILL come to you. Just roll with the punches for now.

[graytwo]

Don't be confused... Sheesh, I'm a Bi-type and I've finally figured out that the world is NOT Male or Female, Black or White but different shades between each. Ok, for me the sensual play stuff needed to kick a female on when I'm horney -- takes too long. All I'm interested in is raw sex and want the same. I know, typical male. However, I do love warm, soft and expressive love making not only for the physical but the spiritual and that for me requires a woman in my bed NOT a male.

Heck, if a female rocks your world both physically and in everyday life then GO FOR IT without shame, cause YOU must be happy. If your torn between Males and Females, think what kicks your switch "physical or expressive" if you say "I Don't know?" that's not saying your a "lez" or "hetro". It just means you might be Bi. and should let any partner know -- or they'll suffer.

I'm Bi cause I like raw sex and cock, yet I never have kissed a male since that is too intimate for me. Kissing, cuddling and love making is only with a Lady - which is super! Before you ask, "choose one cause that's what's right". I'll answer, I can't. Guess I'm caught in that gray area between Ying and Yang, so your not alone. See, Don't label yourself or try to defend, just go with what you feel is right. Sheesh! In 20/30yrs from now, you don't want to play the "I should of, could of.." mind game with yourself.

Just remember, this world wasn't built by "old" people. It was built by young people than became "old" and want to control their slice. Bottom Line, Go for whatever kicks your switch cause you have your future infront of you.

[rissababynta]

Don't be confused... Sheesh, I'm a Bi-type and I've finally figured out that the world is NOT Male or Female, Black or White but different shades between each. Ok, for me the sensual play stuff needed to kick a female on when I'm horney -- takes too long. All I'm interested in is raw sex and want the same. I know, typical male. However, I do love warm, soft and expressive love making not only for the physical but the spiritual and that for me requires a woman in my bed NOT a male.

Heck, if a female rocks your world both physically and in everyday life then GO FOR IT without shame, cause YOU must be happy. If your torn between Males and Females, think what kicks your switch "physical or expressive" if you say "I Don't know?" that's not saying your a "lez" or "hetro". It just means you might be Bi. and should let any partner know -- or they'll suffer.

I'm Bi cause I like raw sex and cock, yet I never have kissed a male since that is too intimate for me. Kissing, cuddling and love making is only with a Lady - which is super! Before you ask, "choose one cause that's what's right". I'll answer, I can't. Guess I'm caught in that gray area between Ying and Yang, so your not alone. See, Don't label yourself or try to defend, just go with what you feel is right. Sheesh! In 20/30yrs from now, you don't want to play the "I should of, could of.." mind game with yourself.

Just remember, this world wasn't built by "old" people. It was built by young people than became "old" and want to control their slice. Bottom Line, Go for whatever kicks your switch cause you have your future infront of you.


I fully understand what you are saying here, but telling someone to simply not be confused is like telling someone who is bad in math "hey, don't suck in algebra anymore" lol. Sometimes it's just not that easy.

Too bad cause maybe I would have done better in math in high school...

[AshMash]

a lot of str8 women watch lez porn. jus cuz it gets u off, dun mean u r gay. n yea... time will tell hun.. *best wishes* jus follow ur heart. (as corny as it seems)

<3

[rissababynta]

a lot of str8 women watch lez porn. jus cuz it gets u off, dun mean u r gay. n yea... time will tell hun.. *best wishes* jus follow ur heart. (as corny as it seems)

<3

Yeah, I know someone who gets mildly excited from watching beastiality porn, but if you asked her if she would ever do anything like that she'll tell you "hell no!". So, it's just something to keep in mind.

[DeShawn2]

I don't think that you should worry about putting a label on yourself. Just don't be ashamed or give yourself a hard time for whatever your real desires are as they come up.

[andsoweflow]

Ok, so i'm a 19 year old girl and i don't know if i'm straight or bi.

All my relationships have been with guys, including 1 long-term relationship where I was madly in love, great sex and all the rest. But I think i'm sexually attracted to women. I much prefer to watch lesbian porn to hetero porn, cuz its more sensual and its not just 'sex', i prefer foreplay! Sometimes I fantacise about women, but they're always doing things to ME, and when I was about 11, me and my friend (girl) used to pretend to have sex as a game, and we'd kind of rub off eachother with our clothes on and it used to arouse me, does this mean anything?
I'm not really attracted to penis', they look kind of funny and weird, but i'm not really attracted to vagina's either. I'm so confused! I've kissed some of my friends before but it was just for a laugh. I've always wanted to marry a man and have kids with a man, i don't want to be bi or a lesbian it feels unnatural to me in a way, but other times im really aroused by lesbians, but only in a physical way!

Aaaaghhh please help!

like everyone else has said, having those feelings doesn't make you any certain way... i had several girl friends that i "played sex" with when we were young, of all of them, i'm the only one that, as an adult, is sexually attracted to women. and, it took me most of my life to realize that, for me, it wasn't just curiousity. you might just have a great appreciation for the beauty and sensitivity of women, or maybe one day you'll find that both sexes make you happy... you have every right to be confused, and i think you'll figure it all out eventually, but in the meantime just kind of go with the flow as best you can.

[Lea VanBuren]

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm a 19 year old female in almost the exact same situation. I've fooled around with men and I fell in love with one but I've never had sex and I've never been in a relationship with a woman. I'm definitely sexually attracted to women, I may even be more attracted to women than I am to men in that way (though, I don't actually know because I've never had sex with either) but I've never really been romantically attracted to a woman.

I think the only thing we can do is sit on the idea and wait. If we remain open to the idea of being bisexual, the answer will probably come to us eventually.

[AshMash]

well put. patience is a virtue. *smile*

[darkeyes]

patience is a virtue. *smile*

Mayb.. but its hell the waitin... not a virtue me possesses... an try 2 avoid as often as poss... don haff send me inta a pout an a seethe.....:(

.. ta daddy.. dus luffya...:bigrin:

[Lea VanBuren]

Just wondering if you've had any luck figuring this out?