How do I accept myself

[Tom P]

Hi All
I'm a bisexual transsexual. Pretty confusing!
I realized this year that I'm transsexual after going through therapy because I'm depressed.
I stop therapy because it was not going any where since I could not openly discuss this with my wife.

She knows I cross dress and supports it but I don't know how to discuss being a bisexual transsexual. I am so afraid of what this discussion will do to our life.

As other's I have never had a bisexual experience but would like to.
If I was single I would embrace all of this but most of my depression comes from worry and the feeling of failing my family.

What is a bisexual transsexual to do? Can you give me advice?

[Realist]

Well, for one thing Tom, you're well ahead of the game, because your wife suports you. You must know that that is about half of the battle. Since she is your wife and I assume you love and cherish her............if you asked my opinion, I'd say you must come clean to her about your thought process and desires, regarding this subject.

First, I'd look within myself and see if I could determine exactly what it is that I want and then, after you have it firmly in your mind, bite the bullet and tell her.

You may be amazed that she might allow you to experiment (discreetly, safely, intelligently) or, as in my case, she may show you the door! I was divorced for not actually doing anything, but because I was communicating with an old lover, who I hadn't been with in many years. I had not been with any other person during our entire marriage...I was totally loyal to her!

My present GF is bi, so she understands and accepts the fact that I have needed a relationship with both sexes. I'm not seeing anyone presently, but if I meet a guy I find a mutual attraction with, I wold discuss it with her, before making that first move. Being honest and open is really the best policy...even if it hurts, sometimes.

Good luck in your struggle!

[jem_is_bi]

I am not sure how being single would help you in your quest for emotional harmony. I am not married, but I still have family and others that I care about and to whom I have obligations that restrict my behavior. I am not sure what you mean when you say you are a bisexual transsexual. It appears to me that you are a bisexual cross-dresser at the present time. Do you want to completely or partially change your sex in the future? Have you already started down this road and now need to inform your wife? Your wife will likely not be “ok” with you becoming a female, unless she is bisexual as well as you. Even as a male, can your wife accept you as an active bisexual? What kind of relationship do you want with your wife in the future? I would suggest, answering these questions yourself before discussing the issue with you wife. You need to know decide which sexual behaviors and male to female transformations are critical to your happiness before negotiating such a drastically altered relationship with your wife.

[eddy10]

A person can be bisexual, transsexual, and still monogamist. A hetero can also have several partners or pledge to just one. It is all a matter personal choice. Just because a person is bi, they are not obligated to have "one of each." Make a choice, be true to yourself and to your choice. Then, go on and enjoy the rest of your life. It is not the cards we are dealt, but how we play them that counts.

[diB4u]

Hi All
I'm a bisexual transsexual. Pretty confusing!
I realized this year that I'm transsexual after going through therapy because I'm depressed.
I stop therapy because it was not going any where since I could not openly discuss this with my wife.

She knows I cross dress and supports it but I don't know how to discuss being a bisexual transsexual. I am so afraid of what this discussion will do to our life.

As other's I have never had a bisexual experience but would like to.
If I was single I would embrace all of this but most of my depression comes from worry and the feeling of failing my family.

What is a bisexual transsexual to do? Can you give me advice?


Well I wont lie to you- it is hard, very hard. Being transgendered is knowing without a doubt that your in the wrong body, but being bisexual you have the choice to choose sexual partners and lovers. Being transgendered is a soul destroying and a soul enhancing thing. Your lucky that you have the support of your wife. Dont worry about things, in time it will be ok.

Depression sucks too, so I understand you there.

I guess, the only thing that I can suggest is try to find other like minded souls for friendships and then at least you will have others who know and who understand.

:)

[transcendMental]

Hi All
I'm a bisexual transsexual. Pretty confusing!
I realized this year that I'm transsexual after going through therapy because I'm depressed.
I stop therapy because it was not going any where since I could not openly discuss this with my wife.

She knows I cross dress and supports it but I don't know how to discuss being a bisexual transsexual. I am so afraid of what this discussion will do to our life.

As other's I have never had a bisexual experience but would like to.
If I was single I would embrace all of this but most of my depression comes from worry and the feeling of failing my family.

What is a bisexual transsexual to do? Can you give me advice?

I am also a married bisexual transsexual, currently in transition.

My best advice for you is to be as honest as you can, but not to overload your wife all at once.

Cross-dressing can be quite a load for a spouse to take in. Being bisexual can definitely be challenging for a spouse to take in. Being transsexual is definitely more than enough of a load for a spouse to take in.

Naturally, you want your wife to accept all of this eventually. But confronting her with all of it at once might be too much. It sounds like she's good with the cross-dressing, so that is one obstacle down.

Probably your biggest challenge will be figuring out how you feel about being transsexual, and how you want to cope with that. Do you want to transition fully? Will something short of that be ok, as long as your wife accepts you for who you are? Lots of options, and you need to work out first which one is best for you, before getting your wife on board.

But you also need to decide whether it is more important to actualize your bisexuality first or your gender first, and how important it is for you to do it all in such a way as to keep your marriage together.

If you want to pm me, I would be happy to talk more specifically about how I have dealt with these issues, and how this all has affected my marriage.

tm

[Tom P]

Thank you for everyones advice and to take the time to give it. I hope to use it.

The hardest is dealing with the transexual part of my life and how accepting myself will affect my wife and kids life.

I should just bite the bullet and tell her. I have to find the strength.

Thank you so much
Tom