Versatility

[Lonewolf76]

Ok Folks - I may be VERY naieve here and missing something - if I am I apologize up front. But I am curious... As a newly out Bisexual I am still discovering and finding my way. I consider myself versatile, not only in the fact that I can be with a man or a woman - but also because when I am with a man I can be top or bottom. I have recently been discovering that there are FAR more bottoms out there in the male bisexual world than there are Tops. So here's my nieve question- Why aren't there more "versatile" bisexual men out there - why so many bottoms and so few tops? It would be interesting to get the groups thoughts on this. Thanks! LW

[mwmrichva]

GOOD QUESTION!! Wish I knew the answer, sometimes I like to be the top but more often I like to be the bottom. I really enjoy getting someone else off man or woman. I also like the feel of a cock in my hand or mouth and for a man to cum in my mouth, really turns me on!

[eddy10]

IMO and from a little experience, many become bottoms due to ED and therefore can not penetrate. But, they can still enjoy the feeling in the prostate while being a bottom. And, there are some that just enjoy and being the bottom more.

[Realist]

Interesting question.

I started out as a top. I was seduced by an older man who had E.D. and I enjoyed it so much that I figured the top was where I wanted to be. My next experience was also as a top. However, my 3rd experience was different. For the first time, I felt that I loved the guy (But at 14 what did I know?) Anyway, I felt the urge to reciprocate, and did. The next relationship was also a 50/50 situation for me. So, I know I can conduct "business" on both sides of the fence, if I have the proper motivation. I've never been a total bottom. I've only had 8 sexual relationships with guys. With 5, I was in the top role and, with 3, I was basically 50/50 with my lovers. With my present male lover, I am a total top. Works for me!

[rissababynta]

I think that a lot of times, before a man becomes fully comfortable with his sexuality (whether they claim to be or not), there is still the whole "dominance" idea coming into play. In my experience when meeting people, most guys are versatile when they have always been comfortable, or after dabbling in the bisexuality scene for a whie. Of course it's just an opinion.

[Tigerclaw]

Great question! I have wondered that myself. Being new to the game, i feel versatility is the only way to experience every aspect of bi-sex. How do you know what you are missing if you are always a top or always a bottom?

[dickhand]

In my case , I would consider myself versatile . When I started out with my cousin , it was always tit for tat . Let me do this to you and then you can do it to me . After a couple of years it was apparent that I enjoyed receiving anal and he did not . So we sort of settled into me being bottom to his top . Most of the men I have met since were top types and I don't mind since I enjoy giving pleasure , usually just oral . There have been a couple that liked anal too . I have met someone recently that desires to be my bottom and I am fine with that . We are looking forward to the first time . Interestingly enough , his sister is also bisexual .

[sdnaustin]

Luckily I don't have ED yet, but with guys I'm a bottom...I might be talked into topping, but to be blunt, it's just too tight...If I'm going to penetrate, it's going to be a pussy. But I LOVE being penetrated, and feeling his weight pin me to the bed

[bimike40]

Intersting subject. I have always been versatile and love the same in a partner as it heightens the whole experience for both and expands the options we can have during sex. I think versatile guys make the best tops because their own experience of being a bottom makes them more considerate and careful leading up to and during anal intercourse. Whether your a man or woman anal sex should be a pain free and very pleasurable experience for both and this requires a bit of skill, experience and care. I would advise any one considering anal sex for the first time to recieve it from some one who really knows what it feels like. I think we have all read from time to time accounts of people having bad experiences with anal sex particularly on their first attempt.

[jem_is_bi]

I do not do anal sex. So, if anal is required to be classified as top or bottom then I am neither.
With a male, I love oral sex. When, I have sex, I very much like alternating from sucking to 69 to being sucked. I would not be happy with only giving or only receiving. I am especially fond of 69. So, I am not sure what that makes me in terms of top or bottom. Versatile, seems to imply alternation between top or bottom while my subjective experience is always a blend of both.
However, in terms of physical position, I do like the top position because it provides me more control of sex activities. So, for me, dominant versus passive is more meaningful for assessing prospective partners than top versus bottom.

[wolfcamp]

This is a topic that has been touched on before, and it's one that keeps me coming back to these forums. I think it's part of a self-examination on my part. For me, being a top or bottom goes beyond a need to be affectionate with another man. If it were only a desire to be affectionate with a guy, I would be equally versatile. It's something else, and it's very complex.

I have always been curious about the female sexual experience. It always seemed like such a mystery. What would it be like to be the object of a man's sexual advances? I used to wonder about that. I think I was a little envious that women attracted men's advances just because of the fact that they are women. So, that's one point.

Another point is my history of experience. When I first started messing with guys, in my mid 20's, I was equally OK with touching and being touched, and sucking and being sucked. My first anal experience happened to be with a strict top. After much persistence on his part, I let him penetrate me. He seemed to enjoy it very much, and I was a little surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Afterwards, I wanted to reverse the situation and try the top. He told me that he would let me, but that he was normally the top and he didn't enjoy bottom that much. Later, he told me that he liked me and that he wanted me to be his steady "girlfriend". I was a little naive at that time, and I was a little shocked at his wording. At that time I was still very conflicted about my attraction to men, and the thought of being a guy's "girlfriend" was just too much. It turns out that I didn't see him again, but I thought about his request more and more. Over time, I started becoming turned on by the idea of being sexually attractive to other guys. I had some other experiences later that reinforced the idea. So, coupled with my original curiosity about the female experience, and my own experience with the way some guys reacted to me, I gravitated to a more submissive, bottom role.

One other thing is that I have always been a little shy and nervous when it came to being with other guys. I always felt more comfortable with a guy who was a little assertive and willing to take the lead. I always assumed that those kinds of guys tended to be more dominant and more of a top by nature. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but that is the ideal guy that I find myself attracted to.

[curious44]

I've done both and enjoyed both but having a cock in my ass is one of the most erotic experiences ever, in my opinion. And I love the feel of a cock deep in my throat and hot cum going down so I guess that means I prefer the bottom. It doesn't come from any desire to be dominated or anything like that, it's all physical for me. I suspect it's the same for a lot of guys, that's why there are more bottoms

[Bopit4Ever]

I just recently became "vers" from being a top..LOVE IT! Nothing like riding a dick and rocking back forth on it while jerking off!

[Orlando157]

There is a difference between kneeling down and bending over but it's only a difference ... not better - The people you share time with are more important - With the right people you'd be amazed what is possible

More than horizons can be stretched :tongue:

[GalacticiaActual]

I consider myself vers, because I would always want to return the favor!

[ziggybabie]

Well, I'm only speaking for myself here, but for me, 'bisexual' is kind of a 'closest fit' label that I only half heartedly use because I have enjoyed adult encounters with both genders. BUT.....with men, I am more into the cock than the actual guy. A LOT of the 'bi stuff' originally came from watching straight porn where the males had monster cocks. Rough sex, cock gagging stuff, etc. Or gangbang videos of 3 or more guys on one woman. I still am more into 'chicks with dicks' (ie:shemales) than I am guys.

BUT, I do find the muscular male physique (like gym nut physique) to be very hot. I'm more into being a bottom just because it's a lot rarer that I find guys as attractive facially as women. A guy sucking me off or me doing him is just not a huge turn on for me in most cases whereas sucking cock or getting fucked is a huge turn on.

I might top for some of the really feminine androgynous types like the singer from that Tokio Hotel group (http://www.mtv.com/asm/sweeney_todd/bill_kaultz_crop.jpg) (whose music sucks, btw). But then, they are more 'woman' like than most guys. A large part of my attraction with bisexuality and androgyny is based around the 'power' image of the male phallus. A sub/dom sorta thing.

I'm more into bi group with at least one female present than being with a guy alone, but when with a guy, I'm more into playing the 'woman' or 'submissive' role, which I take as being bottom only. (catcher. lol) Preferring bigger built guys with big packages.

I'm not a 'true bisexual', but I just know what I like. I use labels if they are convenient, but I almost just prefer the term 'sexual'. More monosexual, lately. lol

[AshMash]

I think that a lot of times, before a man becomes fully comfortable with his sexuality (whether they claim to be or not), there is still the whole "dominance" idea coming into play. In my experience when meeting people, most guys are versatile when they have always been comfortable, or after dabbling in the bisexuality scene for a whie. Of course it's just an opinion.

I agree.

[totchune]

For me, being a bottom is all I want with another man, topping a guy wouldn't interest me (I tried it, it doesn't turn me on at all)...

I think the reason is a need to reverse roles, to feel what it is like to receive, to explore the "female" in me, which should be a mind-blowing experience if I found the right guy with good chemistry (and a top). I am also turned on by a man who is a little older than me, experienced, and who is sexually assertive and very masculine.

So with a woman, I am male (I least I think I am, so far I am not aware of complaints), and with a man, I am pretty much "female" in terms of sexual needs and activities.

I think being a steady bottom with a man should make me a better lover with a woman...taking more time for foreplay, being more sensual, really appreciating the female body...
Kind of as if being "female" with a man unleashes the male in me with a woman, and the opposite is also true...being a man with a woman triggers the desire in me to be "female" with a man (I like a woman who is very sensual and passionate as well as feminine...I mean sensitive, and not "boyish", and I don't mean this in a sexist way although it may sound sexist, it's just my preference).

Dominant women turn me off completely, as do submissive men...

Perhaps I am weird after all...

[totchune]

I just recently became "vers" from being a top..LOVE IT! Nothing like riding a dick and rocking back forth on it while jerking off!

Wish I found a good one to ride as well!