Just curious

[totchune]

I am new to this site, and before I leave, I would like to ask a few questions...
I really don't belong to the web culture, I am not interested in blogs, myspace, or any other electronic forms of non-communications (not even television).
Really, what is the point? I don't have the time to stare at a computer screen for hours to exchange superficial thoughts and cliches with total strangers I might not even like if I met them in person (the time spent to write this being an exception). Who has the time or desire to do this?
Are people this lonely, this completely alienated and disconnected in this sick society?...
I would like to understand what this is about...
Wouldn't you rather spend time with REAL friends, in flesh and blood, not shadows on a screen?...Or spend time looking for REAL friends, the type you can hug, whose voice you can hear and whom you can actually see?
Will the entire freaking world be "connected" electronically as people no longer talk to each other, from families whose members are either individually glued to televisions, video games or the web to friendships that cannot be sustained because there is no more time to live, only time to frantically and compulsively race through life?
I don't get it.

[alegrias]

Of course, I can only speak for myself. I have friends and relationships in "real" life. I get hugged (and a lot more) pretty often. I am certainly NOT lonely.

But sex, particularly my bisexual interests, is not something I feel comfortable talking about with anyone in real life, except for my sexual partners of course, (2 of whom I met on-line). Yet, it's something that I've been thinking about a lot, and I like to talk about my obsessions. Also, sometimes, I just need advice that I can't get in real life.

I also have to say that I've met a lot of wonderful people here that I never could have met in real life. People from far-away places, transexuals who have enlightened me about what it means to be trans, and people who are a lot like me and that I find really interesting to talk to.

[rissababynta]

Since when does everyone have to spend all of their time with "real" people? Don't you think that if we didn't take a break from our "real" lives on occasion we would all go mad?

If this kind of environment isn't for you, then no one is going to put you down for feeling that way and having your own opinion. However, I have the sense that you are putting us down for something that we enjoy that you don't understand...if this is not the case than please tell me but as of this moment that is the impression I am getting.

[GalacticiaActual]

The point is "Social Networking".
It's not a requirement that you "get it"
It's simply another form of communication that is available for people who want to use it.
It complements traditional human interaction, and allows us to meet and interact with people around the globe. It removes boundaries, and provides opportunities never thought possible a couple decades ago.
Much like television is a window to the world, allowing us to see, learn,
understand, and expand our individual horizons.
We can't turn off technology simply because some people don't choose to use it.

[izzfan]

Hmmm.... interesting point.

I think the good thing about this site is that it allows people to meet and talk to other bisexual/bi-curious/gay/lesbian/trans/straight people where they might not have the opportunity to do so in the real world. This site is also a place to get and give advice that people might not be willing to ask for face to face. There is a real sense of community here which I haven't really found in many other forums.

You should not think of this site as a substitute for real life friendships etc... as I'm sure that 99% of people have a life outside of this site [well.. except for the infamous "Troll" perhaps:bigrin: ]. Nevertheless, I think the distance involved in online discussions/forums is not always a bad thing as I am often nervous in quite a lot of social situations and I can talk about things here with much more confidence than I can often do in real life.

As for your fears about the future, although I do like some aspects of the internet... other aspects of modern society, the internet etc... terrify me a bit and I often tend to distrust technology. I guess I am somewhat of a luddite despite my liking of forums.

Just my :2cents:

[onewhocares]

I think that many of us come here for as many reason as there are stars in the night sky. I know my initial interest that brought me here was to find answers to questions I had about my bisexual husband. I was hesitant at first, not sure how a straight spouse would be accepted. What I found was in fact a community filled with open minded and honest people who were willing to give of themselves and share their insights and experiences with us.

I have been one of the most fortunate women her as through my business travels and such, I have met so so many people from this site. People from all walks of life, all parts of the Continent, people who where it not for the technological aspect of the Internet I would never have come to meet. I have found out how people live around the world, the facinating jobs we all have, the cultural aspects of people I never would have chanced to meet had I stayed in the real world. I am the better for it...for them in my life.

I know that I have a very rich and full life...filled with family and friends whom I share my day to day life and I am blessed that I too have another family...ones who have been here in times of joy, times of sorrow, times of questioning, times filled with inspiration and insight. I consider my self lucky to have both worlds. I am also glad that I have friends from this site who have become part of my "real" life and I am the better for their friendship.


Maybe this site is not for you, but is it a welcome home and a true community for others...and I am proud to be a member.

Belle

[rassilon953]

Are people this lonely, this completely alienated and disconnected in this sick society?...


Yes, yes, and yes. Not sure the society is necessarily "sick" though - I think I'd rather call it "evolving less quickly than I'd like it to."

You do raise some interesting points for debate (as previous replies demonstrate) in a bisexual context but it's not clear from your original message whether or not you realise the nature of this website. Having said that, an inoffensive debate about life in general hurts nobody and is good for the soul.

So, like yourself, I do not consume the media - the last time I went to the movies was in 2006 and there is only one TV programme to which I'm dedicated, and that is a social event involving family, friends and analytical discussion afterwards.

But there is a difference between interaction and consumption - you may interact with somebody by talking with them over the telephone but you can only listen to (or consume) an answerphone message. I assert that just because one of the media is electronic makes it no different, ultimately, to one which isn't, so long as the type of medium is a match (i.e. interactive or consumable). So, for example, you cannot interact with a novel - it's a straight read - but you can interact with a magazine by writing a publishable letter, entering a competition or submitting either a classified advertisement or a story to be written up as an article.

In an age where one rarely hears an engaged tone and a document can take days or weeks to arrive physically, society has taken advantage of technology to speed up the delivery of all messages, both consumable and interactive. The internet is just the latest of these, and allows a whole range of interactivities, including an improvement on telephoning someone by using something called a webcam to interact with others visually as well as audibly. The main advantages of the Internet are the massive array of choice of communication types available to the individual user, the immediacy of these, the range of the individual's potential network (it's not called "Worldwide Web" for no reason) and relatively large economies as other home items (encyclopedia, postage stamps, TV sets, telephone, DVD rentals, novels, stationery, pens (!)) become increasingly redundant.

Whether to welcome electronic media or not is a choice, based on beliefs and preferences. This should not be confused with whether or not one chooses to interact with others (by writing letters, making phone calls, having public house/ cafe conversations or using the Internet).

I'd be interested to hear whether or not the original poster has ever written a letter to or spoken over the telephone with a friend, and, if so, why/if (s)he feels that to be different. Always assuming, of course, that the original poster actually comes back to learn the impact of the original post, and wasn't just being a bit .... erm... I'll say polemic....

[Lonewolf76]

I think that many of us come here for as many reason as there are stars in the night sky. I know my initial interest that brought me here was to find answers to questions I had about my bisexual husband. I was hesitant at first, not sure how a straight spouse would be accepted. What I found was in fact a community filled with open minded and honest people who were willing to give of themselves and share their insights and experiences with us.

I have been one of the most fortunate women her as through my business travels and such, I have met so so many people from this site. People from all walks of life, all parts of the Continent, people who where it not for the technological aspect of the Internet I would never have come to meet. I have found out how people live around the world, the facinating jobs we all have, the cultural aspects of people I never would have chanced to meet had I stayed in the real world. I am the better for it...for them in my life.

I know that I have a very rich and full life...filled with family and friends whom I share my day to day life and I am blessed that I too have another family...ones who have been here in times of joy, times of sorrow, times of questioning, times filled with inspiration and insight. I consider my self lucky to have both worlds. I am also glad that I have friends from this site who have become part of my "real" life and I am the better for their friendship.


Maybe this site is not for you, but is it a welcome home and a true community for others...and I am proud to be a member.

Belle


Eloquently put Belle! I second that! Hugs LW

[csrakate]

There is a big difference between using a site such as this one to augment human interaction as opposed to replacing it. Yes...I may spend a great deal of time chatting with the people I have met and grown to love from this site, but I also realize that it is not a substitute for real life, in the flesh humans. I have gained so much from chatting here. Like Belle I came here to better understand my bisexual husband. That was three years ago. In the course of three years I have not only learned more about my husband's sexuality and how it does or does not affect me or my marriage, I have also learned more about myself and my own sexuality and it has broadened my basic approach to life in general. Under the veil of anonymity, I have been allowed to emerge from my shell...learn to open up just a bit more, and to relate to people from all walks of life. No...it will never replace getting out and meeting people, but it has filled a void in my life when I've needed it most and given me just a smidgen of confidence to take that new found attitude out into the world. I hope you will give this site a bit more time before you draw the conclusion that we're all pathetic homebodies with nothing better to do. I think you'll be amazed at how it can enhance your life as opposed to hampering it.

Hugs,
Kate

[jamieknyc]

The idea that online friends don't count and that only real life friends qualify as real friends is as outdated as the rotary telephone.

[totchune]

I'd be interested to hear whether or not the original poster has ever written a letter to or spoken over the telephone with a friend, and, if so, why/if (s)he feels that to be different. Always assuming, of course, that the original poster actually comes back to learn the impact of the original post, and wasn't just being a bit .... erm... I'll say polemic....

Thanks for a thoughtful reply (and THANKS TO EACH ONE OF YOU who responded, and for your thoughtful replies...and for being kind).
I have written letters before, once everyday for a month (and gotten replies every day) to a woman with whom I was madly in love...But I knew her. If I was writing to a stranger, I might eventually want to meet him or her, if I felt close through this king of correspondence.
On the phone, you can get a feeling from a voice, get its emotional tone.
Anyway You have all convinced me of the need to be able to communicate in a safer environment about bisexuality...
I am sorry for coming across negatively about participating in such a web group...I hope I haven't offended anyone. My beef is really about society...it is too bad mainstream culture is so fearful and backward when it comes to such topics (bisexuality).
Has anyone read "The Nature of the Psyche" by Jane Roberts (1979)?
It's about the deeper psychic roots of bisexuality. It really does blow apart all conventions (written in 1979 and still totally revolutionary and controversial!)

[someotherguy]

"Are people this lonely, this completely alienated and disconnected in this sick society?..."


Some people who have the view that society is sick and who consider computer forums a waste of time will from time to time log on and post a rant about it. But other than that, things are fine.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

If this is your viewpoint, forgive me for this question. Why the heck are you here then? Dont you wish to meet people who share your views and who might turn out to Be wonderful friends? All of us have friends, relationships, lives in "The real world" but those that we have on here are just as important as those that we live everyday.
We share trials and tribulations, saddness and jubulations, hard times, good times, good days and bad. We Care about each other here, even though some of us have never met. Some of us may never meet, but it matters not. What matters is the feeling of friendship and camaraderie that forms between those of us whose hearts and minds that are open and enlightened enough to see and appreciate one another for who, and what we are; loving and caring individuals who just happen to be Bi or gay or straight even. ;)
Perhaps as you get to know us, if you can stay around that long, you'll come to see us for the fantastic folks we really are. :cool:
Give us a try, you might miss a beloved friend, you might miss a lover.:tongue:
Cat